Cya In Two Weeks!

[Walleee]

What?

If you'd look past my MSN name and stereotype i have, maybe you'd read my post properly and see i'm actually trying to engage in a proper conversation, and have actually backed up my reasoning for thinking this isn't such a great idea.

I never said it wasn't a great life experience, i commend him for doing, but some people seem to think we live in a world where houses cost a months wages and that jobs grow on trees, that plane tickets are the same price as train tickets, and that you can just walk into Gatwick airport, buy a ticket, and catch the 10 to 7am plane to America and be back in time for dinner.

You may think i'm taking the pessimistic view, and i would usually agree, but on this occasion, i really am not, i just am being realistic when everyone else is in fairy land or something. Sure enough, same country long distance, but another country, let alone america? Come on people...

I get the impression it's all about money with you simon.

I expect you to know that that's not a dig but just an observation of my own based on your post's on T-F. If the flights and accomodation were free, would you still be so against it? What's he got to lose then apart from possibly a bit of pride if it goes wrong?

[Rich Pearson]

good luck i really mean it, but ill put money on the fact it wont work.

I'll take that bet . One two pints in what ever pub we might ever happen to be in at the same time says it'll go smoothly.

Lots of luck JT.

Rich

[Will Arnold]

have a really good trip!

let us know how you're getting on!

i'd love to just leave and have a complete different scene for a few weeks, if it was for a girl or not..

good luck!

[haydon_peter]

As I said before, the guy's got guts for following this through, and I for one really hope it works. Too many people complain of dead-end lives with no prospects where nothing interesting happens, so I find it inspiring when somebody does something different, unusual and potentially life-changing, instead of sitting around and getting to 40 and wondering what might have happened if they'd taken that opportunity, done something with their life.

Well said

I think some people are living in a dream land here. This ain't no fairy tale disney land film. Plane tickets cost money, extreme amounts of money, not to mention all the other costs involved here.

Also, i'm not just talking cold hard cash, i'm talking about emotional costs. What happens when shes crying her eyes out about the loss of a friend... "Yeh, er, heres an msn hug, and i'll give you a belated hug in 5 weeks when i can afford the 400-500 quid plane ticket". How about when she wins a prize at her local, i don't know, basketball club? "yeh, well done, thats really awesome". Yeh, nice text emotions there... she'll get more of an emotional response from one of her pets thats actually there, breathing, pushing the air around her, sadly.

Before you read this, please don't get me wrong Simon, I understand where your coming from regarding the risks of travelling all that way when you haven't ever met the person in real life before. But I have a counter argument for you...

Flying isn't as expensive as you think, in fact its more accessible and cheaper now that it ever used to be! Here is a comparison:

Cars cost money, extreme amounts of money, not to mention all the other costs involved.

I am flying return to Melbourne in about a week, I am paying £670 for a return flight. London to Melbourne is approximately a 20,000 mile round trip. Using the rough figure of 10p a mile for the car fuel that's £2000 just for the fuel (Not to mention all the other costs involved which I wont run through cos there is so many I could list).

I had to use cars as a comparison because I know you have an interest in cars

Anyway, good luck to JT! If he is anything like me he will have thought long and hard before making his decision so I'm sure it will all go well! If it doesn't work out at least he tried and can say he has visited The States!

[Brisa]

All the best of luck with it all JT.

If you fell strongly enough for eachother to go to the bother of meeting up then it should all pass off smoothly... maybe you leaving with a green card?

[future orange 660]

It's how you click.

Bongo

Edited May 22, 2007 by future orange 660

[Davey]

Also, i'm not just talking cold hard cash, i'm talking about emotional costs. What happens when shes crying her eyes out about the loss of a friend... "Yeh, er, heres an msn hug, and i'll give you a belated hug in 5 weeks when i can afford the 400-500 quid plane ticket". How about when she wins a prize at her local, i don't know, basketball club? "yeh, well done, thats really awesome". Yeh, nice text emotions there... she'll get more of an emotional response from one of her pets thats actually there, breathing, pushing the air around her, sadly.

I see your point Simon, but I wasn't suggesting they have a long distance relationship, I know full well how difficult they are, I was more implying he could move to America or vice versa, people do it all the time, I'd love to move to America. And I know people are gonna say "Oh what about family" etc etc but for a start some people aren't as family orientated as others, me included, and secondly with family a long distance relationship is afr easier and in many ways far better, I only see my parents at Xmas and Birthdays anyway!

Davey

[Davetrials]

I'll take that bet . One two pints in what ever pub we might ever happen to be in at the same time says it'll go smoothly.

Lots of luck JT.

Rich

ill see u at the dj ride!!!?

[Tomm]

I see your point Simon, but I wasn't suggesting they have a long distance relationship, I know full well how difficult they are, I was more implying he could move to America or vice versa, people do it all the time, I'd love to move to America. And I know people are gonna say "Oh what about family" etc etc but for a start some people aren't as family orientated as others, me included, and secondly with family a long distance relationship is afr easier and in many ways far better, I only see my parents at Xmas and Birthdays anyway!

Davey

Too right.

Worst case scenario, he goes to America, gets free food + bed and has a nice holiday. As far as I can tell, it's a win-win situation. Well done for actually doing something with your life JT!. Good luck!

[Rich Pearson]

ill see u at the dj ride!!!?

1) he ain't gonna be back then, and 2) muggins here went and booked a holiday over the 2nd of June so I can't make the ride...

[BONGO]

Jeez Simon, do you leave rice pudding INCASE it's not quite hot enough???? Just go for stuff and say you've tried it all and done your best. f**k incase's and what if's off. You only get one go on living innit.

Everyones different, but i'm gonna die knowoing that everything i've wanted, and wanted to do, has happened becasue i've never said what if. Loads of things have gone wrong. Split up with birds, tried tricks and ended up in hospital, got into debt, but i haven't regretted ANYTHING. Lie risky and you either have a shithot time, or learn a lot and then have a shithot time anyway!

Bongo

[plainlazy84]

Good luck JT.

This reminds me a lot of the following book....

'I, Danny Wallace, being of sound mind and body, do hereby write this manifesto for my life. I swear I will be more open to opportunity. I swear I will live my life taking every available chance. I will say Yes to every favour, request, suggestion and invitation. I Will Swear To Say Yes Where Once I Would Say No.' Danny Wallace had been staying in. Far too much. Having been dumped by his girlfriend, he really wasn't doing the young, free and single thing very well. Instead he was avoiding people. Texting them Instead of calling them. Calling them Instead of meeting them. That is until that one fateful date when a mystery man on a late-night bus told him to 'Say Yes more'. These three simple words changed Danny's life forever. Yes Man is the story of what happened when Danny decided to say Yes to everything, in order to make his life more interesting. And boy, did it get more interesting.

Which I recommend highly!

[BONGO]

Good luck JT.

This reminds me a lot of the following book....

Which I recommend highly!

Knowing my luck, the first chance i got to say yes, would be when a fat black man in a public toilet asked if i wanted to be bummed!

[nmt_oli]

Im loving the debate! Has got very interesting indeed.

Those guys saying its a waste of money, and it will never work, hey maybe your right- but you could just be wrong, it may be one in a million, but you could be wrong! My stepdad is egyptian, yes egyptian! my mum met him on holiday a few years ago, now hes over here and there married.

£500 on plane ticket may be a bit more extreme than a £35 train ticket, but in the grand scheme of things its not worth worrying about, and its certainly going to be a cheap holiday if nothing else, so you can bugger off with your bad value for money argument!

Even if the relationship doesnt work out, he may still have a good friend, and its nice to have contacts in different places.

As has been said, Regret what you have done, not what could have done. People have been calling me an idiot for spending so much on my mini when i could be saving the money, i don't see it like that, il worry abotu saving money when i get a job after uni. While im young and relatively care free im trying my damndest to have fecking great time, and if that means building my dream car, so be it. Im only young once. Don't live for the future, live for the day and see where the future takes you.

[Synergy]

i cant believ in five pages no one has asked the most important question of them all.

are you taking your bike?

anyway i think that maybe he is a little bit stupid to be doing this BUT you cant live the dream if you dnt try, im sure jt must be briking it on the plane coming down to meet some one (in person ) for the first time when it has cost a lot of money and shud of taken a lot of consideration. hope it all goes well ie nothing bad happens to you like you sometimes hear in america. who cares if you dnt get on with her least you tried

[Davey]

i cant believ in five pages no one has asked the most important question of them all.

are you taking your bike?

anyway i think that maybe he is a little bit stupid to be doing this BUT you cant live the dream if you dnt try, im sure jt must be briking it on the plane coming down to meet some one (in person ) for the first time when it has cost a lot of money and shud of taken a lot of consideration. hope it all goes well ie nothing bad happens to you like you sometimes hear in america. who cares if you dnt get on with her least you tried

I wish people would stop using the word stupid, really don't understand how it is stupid to go to America to meet someone you've been talking to for over a year, that's more than long enough to decide someone is decent enough to meet up with and get a holiday out of it, that's pretty smart if you ask me.

He's not getting married for god sake, he's going on holiday to meet someone he's known a long time, longer than most of you have had your current girlfriends I'd bet!

Davey

[Davetrials]

i hope he gets some.

[Synergy]

I wish people would stop using the word stupid, really don't understand how it is stupid to go to America to meet someone you've been talking to for over a year, that's more than long enough to decide someone is decent enough to meet up with and get a holiday out of it, that's pretty smart if you ask me.

He's not getting married for god sake, he's going on holiday to meet someone he's known a long time, longer than most of you have had your current girlfriends I'd bet!

Davey

what you forget though is the internet is totaly different to in person, how do you think children meet peadoes or how ever you spell it, fare enough i doubt he will meet one but the point is you can pretend to be somebody you totaly arent.

in my opinion its stupid, thats my opinion weather you like it or not, i wish him the best of luck but if it was me i would rather have met the person first talked on msn a year and then met up again. but thats jsut me.

[Simon]

I'm glad some people are replying with proper arguments and engaging my thoughts and opinions rather then just calling me a moody b*****d.

I get the impression it's all about money with you simon.

I expect you to know that that's not a dig but just an observation of my own based on your post's on T-F. If the flights and accomodation were free, would you still be so against it? What's he got to lose then apart from possibly a bit of pride if it goes wrong?

Its not all about money, not at all.

I'm not at all against him going now, as i keep saying, i commend him for doing this, i don't know, maybe i just think its a massive waste of emotional involvement, as well as a financial burden. I'm purely giving my opinion on the whole picture, not this one trip.

Good question about free flights and accommodation, but if they was free then my view on a lot of things would be different, and yes, possibly this. Its just such a financial out lay, and i honestly don't think any women is worth that amount of debt if you've not gone through rough times, good times, and indifferent times before.

If they had been having a local relationship before for a year or two, then again, my opinion wouldn't be what it is.

Flying isn't as expensive as you think, in fact its more accessible and cheaper now that it ever used to be! Here is a comparison:

Cars cost money, extreme amounts of money, not to mention all the other costs involved.

I am flying return to Melbourne in about a week, I am paying £670 for a return flight. London to Melbourne is approximately a 20,000 mile round trip. Using the rough figure of 10p a mile for the car fuel that's £2000 just for the fuel (Not to mention all the other costs involved which I wont run through cos there is so many I could list).

I had to use cars as a comparison because I know you have an interest in cars

Fair point, however, no one would ever consider driving such a distance, hell, people fly in land in the UK, and thats only for 600 miles.

Also, i'm not comparing the financial costs with financial costs of similar transports, i'm comparing it with a similar local relationship. I'll bring in an old relationship of mine, and will be in the same financial situation, ie, earning 220 quid a month.

Right, a train ticket, 35 quid, to allow for any other money issues (tube fares, not included train routes, food, drink, presents) i'd take 50 with me. That was once every two weeks, or 2 weeks in a row, then other week, so that's 150 quid in one month on 3 meets. I would like to add at this point the emotional issues involved with this. At the time the partner was going through a rough patch due to various things, and that was why i went two weeks in a row, the gap was then caused by me simply not having enough money and having to wait till next pay day (i got paid every 2 weeks at the time) to visit again. During this time there was countless times where i felt detached, and simply helpless. I'll happily admit i need more physical and emotional involvement then most, but that feeling is the worst, and nothing will prepare you for that.

Now compare this to america. I did a quick search for a flight to Miami, as i'm useless with american states and east/west coast citys. Cheapest was 300 quid return, and did include taxs and fee's. I'll admit, i was expecting more 500-600, but that price was for start of december. May/July prices were more 450-500. Relationships and life don't pause for off and on peak people... Also have to consider the fact that this is a two week affair, not a 1 day back for dinner jobbie, so more allowances for food, expenses and so on have to be made.

I think the only pro here is that if you see her for two weeks at a time, you may not be inclined to go for another 2, or maybe 4.

Not to mention these were booking way in advance. You can't plan book emotions in advance.

This is more the point i'm trying to make. Sure, work your arse off to afford a plane ticket every month or every 6 weeks, but that wont at all compare to the emotional expenditure.

Anyway, good luck to JT! If he is anything like me he will have thought long and hard before making his decision so I'm sure it will all go well! If it doesn't work out at least he tried and can say he has visited The States!

Hell yeah, i'd love to visit the states, hopefully going for my 21st as i'm trying to make it a big one.

I see your point Simon, but I wasn't suggesting they have a long distance relationship, I know full well how difficult they are, I was more implying he could move to America or vice versa, people do it all the time, I'd love to move to America. And I know people are gonna say "Oh what about family" etc etc but for a start some people aren't as family orientated as others, me included, and secondly with family a long distance relationship is afr easier and in many ways far better, I only see my parents at Xmas and Birthdays anyway!

Davey

I'd happily move over to america as well, infact i'd love to, but again, people seems to think we live in a fluffy white land with no borders, no price tags, and no forms to sign. Immigrating has never been easy, nor a cheap affair.

Jeez Simon, do you leave rice pudding INCASE it's not quite hot enough???? Just go for stuff and say you've tried it all and done your best. f**k incase's and what if's off. You only get one go on living innit.

Everyones different, but i'm gonna die knowoing that everything i've wanted, and wanted to do, has happened becasue i've never said what if. Loads of things have gone wrong. Split up with birds, tried tricks and ended up in hospital, got into debt, but i haven't regretted ANYTHING. Lie risky and you either have a shithot time, or learn a lot and then have a shithot time anyway!

Bongo

But i don't often live my life like that, but what we are talking about isn't a simple "what if", its a major thing, not just the tip of the iceburg stuff, this is the 500m base below.

Not entirely sure why i'm replying here, as i certainly don't want anyone to feel like i'm trying to talk JT out of continuing or something, guess my opinion is just strong here.

[tomturd]

Good luck JT

Sounds excellent!

To the cynics, I'm sure he's thought about this, its not the kinda thing you just go 'wanna come to america' 'ok, im not sure, but ill be around tomorrow', so cut some slack..

[Davetrials]

simon raised sum dammed good points there

sme one argue with them so i can argue with you.

[munkee]

Good luck JT

Sounds excellent!

To the cynics, I'm sure he's thought about this, its not the kinda thing you just go 'wanna come to america' 'ok, im not sure, but ill be around tomorrow', so cut some slack..

Good call tom, first time i think i have ever agreed.

On a side note.. i lmfao when i realised simon was giving out advice about internet relationships

Edited May 22, 2007 by Spacemunkee

[future orange 660]

and money..

[munkee]

and money..

LMAO .. oh dear...

[JT!]

Hi all, thanks for the good lucks and whatnot, i got here safely after a 14 hour flight.

Simon has brought up some good points, but i've thought these things threw, a lot. And money isn't a problem really. Unlike Simon () i take care of my money.

I have no regrets so far, and i doubt i will. This long distance relationship wouldn't last, if i want to make something out of this i would have to move, and i wouldn't have come out here if i wasn't prepared to do that.

Davetrials has done his trademark post by thinking about the situation for 0.4 of a second, then posting up using the word f**k as much as possible because that's just plain cool. But that's why we love him so.

Anyway, i'll pop back on later.

Tata