Whats In Your, "what Not To Do" Book?

[Ryan.]

lol as were on the subject of fires with joe!

dont try to start a small fire on a field and end up having the whole field up in flames in about 10 secs!!! the whole town was smoked out!

dont put a massive pole in the middle of a road as a bmw will drive over it and chase u down trying to rune you over, ending with you swan diving the nearest bush to hide!!!

Dont carry on riding once the police have said move on as they WILL fine you!

Dont go around puttin a plank of wood on peoples door then knocking on it as the plank will slide and knock some 40 year old out when he opens the door

dunno if iv said this 1 but...... dont go round at 1am sounding an fog horn off in peoples letter box, especially if you know who lives there and there dads a cop!!! you end up in alot of shit when you go back to school!!!

Edited February 13, 2007 by Sheringham_trials

[Dr Dig]

Never play golf in the front gardern of youre council house facing the houses over the road. One shattered payne of glass and a screaming old layde later the golf club was taken from me ;(

Or pee on someones shed whilst a friend is talking to them as they lean out of there window

I also learned the hard way that you should never sing songs about how a team is shit when youre standing in the middle of there local bar

[Walleee]

ahahahahhahahahaha, thats excellant, i shat on someones windscreen whilst i was drunk once and it turned out they were looking at me from the co op window.

never: smoke copiuos amounts of weed, or drink copious amounts of absinthe, and then try and climb as high up a tree as you can, fall out, and break both your wrists.

wait until its traffic lights and surround a car whilst throwing eggs at it.

shoot bb guns at the old peoples home down your road.

cut down a tree near your house and lay it across the road so no one can drive past.

blow up a lynx can, it WILL blow through the metal bin you threw it in and WILL smash your next door neighbours window.

try to scare someone by setting fire to the bush next to them, it WILL set two acres of french national trust land on fire, resulting in A LOT of fire engines, and a fair amount of time 'speaking' to a french policeman.

We don't need warned of that, doing anything remotely physical while chonged is not a possibility.

[downhill_rob2@hotmail.com]

We don't need warned of that, doing anything remotely physical while chonged is not a possibility.

too rite!

I was stupid enough to hang out of a car window going 130mph, with a camera lmao! was f**king cold, wet, and the footage was shit! lol, i wasnt arsd, i was too stoned to be arsd! lol

Never throw snowballs at cars, then try running off when they start chasing you, you wont get away! lmao!

[Lawnmowerman]

Do not impale a garden rake into your brothers skull. He cried.

[Sneakers O'Toole]

Don't piss in a carton of apple juice and then leave it on your bedroom floor. Your mum will put it back in the fridge and your brother will take a big mouthful.

[Si-man]

Never throw snowballs at cars, then try running off when they start chasing you, you wont get away! lmao!

You can

When i was about 10, we threw a snowball at a car (turned into an ice ball actually) andput a f**k off dent in it. he chased us for ages, cudnt get us though.

Ooo, never ever throw a brick through a Nova GTE window with a nutter at the wheel. Ends up in his mates chasing you down and alley in their cars with baseball bats, your mat running into the side of a police van and you having to hide on a roof to get away from them... never again!!

We were bored ok haha

[Danny Swindlehurst]

Do not impale a garden rake into your brothers skull. He cried.

foookin heel i bet that smarted

dont ever play with bungie straps! u get black eyes !

danny

[ogre]

don't play "the floor is made of lava" in your form room, the girls will tell + you get an afterschool

[tipsy Jock]

Don't tell lies to impress strangers on the internet

[King C]

Don't tell lies to impress little children on the internet

[nafan]

I would never;

Call a bouncer a tw*t and get the sh*t kicked out of me (like my eldest brother did)

or

Overtake two cars in a row and crash into lots of trees and hope I come out alive (like my eldest brother did)

Nathan

[MikeCottTrials]

I ate a used tea bag when i was about 3 dont think il try that again oh and i fell off a chair and cracked my skull on a radiator when i was about 9 thats one id probably avoid in the future. Oh yeah wen i was in primary school they let everyone play with a tug of war rope on the field and all the kids ran past this lampost with it and my finger got caught between the lampost and the rope when the kid leading changed direction that was kinda painful having no skin on my fingers for a while after and wearing these big bandages round my fingers for a month

[Fixed Pants™]

Don't cut your wrists, i guess.

[B.E.A.U]

dont tell a girl whos dad is a police man her whole family are going to die i na horific way and because she is so nasty to you you say she will get cancer. Her dad will come round your house when you give her your adress.

dont steal your moms car at her mates house and watch her in the rear view mirror run down the road. when she falls over its funny but you feel bad.

do not get a crazy dad and keep stealing his innertubes and then he gets more and says take these ill break your bike.. when you take them your bike will get thrown across the garden like super man

dont put crickets that you use to feed your lizard with in your sis bed. Your mental dad will make you eat 1

dont have a wrestling match with neil tunnicliffe. no matter how buff you are the skinny man will take you down. Yes ladies and gents he is powerful hahaha.

dont say to your gf youve been with for 3 weeks that you will help her stop smoking and break up a whole 20 box she brought 5 mins ago infront of her. No sex for 2 days:(

hmm i may have some more * beau thinks of old times*

oww yes

dont when your are 4 years old tell you nan you can jump over your mini slide your foot will get stuck in the handle rail and broken coller bones will occure.

dont through your bike at an angle in the air. when it comes down parts of your chris king snapp off and come at you.

its never cool to slag enter shikari off say there shit then download all there songs.

do not tease rottwilers. they can jump run faster than you and bite harder than you. evan when you get ranked 2nd in uk for 100 m sprint they WILL GET YOU just make sure you can jump into trees and losing a shoe was a good thing.

[dave85]

Teasing rottweilers is fine. Provided you're well armed with a piece of 2 by 4 with a nail through the end.

[fathopper]

Do not try and re direct a mole at your local trails, it will die, (it came up from the ground so Robin(Dont You Just Hate It When) decided to poke into another hole, got half its body in then it didn't move after that.....) Oops

[RobinJI]

Do not try and re direct a mole at your local trails, it will die, (it came up from the ground so Robin(Dont You Just Hate It When) decided to poke into another hole, got half its body in then it didn't move after that.....) Oops

Oi, it was more Steemson than me. haha.

Never try to clear your local trials of undergrowth with petrol, two of you will nearly get blown up when airborne sparks light petrol as your stood right by it.

Don't be Ben, and preach to people about how there gunna blow themselves up, decide to do the job yourself, then go to open the petrol can with a lit fag in your mouth, you will get shouted at lots buy the younger guys.

Also tesco petrol station will let two 17 year olds buy at the same time, a gallon can, a gallon of petrol and a box of matches, when both were on push bikes. haha.

[Tomm]

Also tesco petrol station will let two 17 year olds buy at the same time, a gallon can, a gallon of petrol and a box of matches, when both were on push bikes. haha.

Some of these are gold.

[A!!]

Never cover your mate in three pairs of tights (dark ones), then make him jump a stagnant river.

Never at a party decide to make a fire from hay bales, then start to jump them. The wind soon takes the fire out of control causing peoples feet to ignite, then causing one of your freinds to get a fire extinguisher out, and hitting someone in the eye with it in the process.

Never try and jump a wall with a rail on top of it, to try and get away from a mate that decides to wee up a car outside a police station. That wasn't funny, as i learnt tonight.

Don't shoot a lightbulb with a bb gun while you are laying underneath it.

Never fill up a lighter with fluid and get it all over your hand, then proceed to light it in a smug fashion.

Never get your friend that can hardly ride a bike to jump a river, it just doesn't work out like it should

Never get forced into jumping a river, it ends up with you rolling down the bank in a comical fashion, then landing in a heap in the river.

Never get a friend to sit on a peice of rope that is attached to two posts, then try and sling him up in the air. He won't go anyway, he will just flip backwards and land on his neck. Again not nice to see.

Never climb through a window at school, the chances are you will end up in an on going lesson.

That will do for now, my memory seems to be failing me. Excuse any bad spelling as well.

[Bucky]

It is indeed! my dads got the 2 litre turbo version! fast enough for anyone really! lol He brought the 2 litre turbo version of the Galaxy the other day.... had some really strange "optional options" on it that left me thinking... WTF? but yea.... feels like a van when you park it but just like a small car on the road! too easy to speed in though.... when we were heading down the the motorbike show we were doing like 120 totally by accident! just so silent and smooth! think my dad did the calibration on the 2 litre turbo disel... dont totally know though... ill ask him later

2.0 turbo? diesel i assume? if you buy one dont try fitting after market: reversing sensor, tow bar or in car phone kit.

the rear lamps have ecu's controlling them and if they see a 'fault'(ie sensors/towbar wiring) the throw up a fault code and go mental.

the in car phone kit absolute b*****d to find an ignition feed as again the GEM control most things.

dont "accidently" come on your gf face when you were really "aiming" for her breasts, then proceed to piss yourself with laughter uncontrolably! doesnt go down well

been the done that but replace face with eyes/nostrils............ oooops.

dont dump a girl get with a new one thne dump her and get back with first one then get dumped by her. it aint fun.

in fact just dont ever get back with an ex, it will never work, believe me from almost 2 year of trying to make it work and just end up breaking up. alos the third party get a bit f**ked off. (DID IT THIS TIME 2 YEAR AGO, AND IN DEC '06.)