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Whats In Your, "what Not To Do" Book?


downhill_rob2@hotmail.com

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Always make sure that the barrel of an air rifle aims out the window aswell as the sights.

Failure to do this will end up in you hitting the frame, roof then your best mate in the top of the head haha!

Were funny that

lmao!

On that note, NEVER aim at a group of people outside with an air rifle when your parents arent in.. kinda gets scarey when they start to wreck your back garden... lol i was sooo scared!!! :( i was only 12ish lol

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never try and shoplift from the "general store" in covent garden, you cant differentiate which indians are tourists and which work there, so i got busted lol

also dont put a hoodie on backwards with the hood up and run around, split head, A+E and a broken tv later lol

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Never spin around on rails in the street.

Did it in edinburgh, on the long alley behind princes street, and f**k me.

I went to do a roll over it, not realised it span, and absolutly raped the floor with my forehead.

hurts alot, and is highly embarrasing, not advisable.

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Don't have sex with a fat, ugly girl you pulled in a club.

...you'll never live it down.

done that lol

I was stupidly drunk though so I couldn't help it lol

iff you have asthma always remember to take your inhalor with you when you want to hurl abuse at chavs lol cause when they chase after you and you have an asthma attack its not good lol did that last night :P managed to get away but it nearly killed my lungs lol

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don't drink 2 litres of orange juice a day for a month. That F*cking hurt so much for weeks seriously....

Don't have sex without protection. I got a lucky escape from pregnancy, never again though

Don't rally round single wide country lanes. Im sure we've all been there

Don't eat yellow snow. Again....see above

Make sure everyone's in bed before wanking. Yeah Ill leave that to your imagination

I've done lots of mistakes, but thats good because as you can tell i've learnt alot :D

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Um, lucky you're alive if I may say so.

There's just one thing on my list: never to buy myself a large bottle of vodka and not share it with anyone else.

i totally agree, me and my friend played rock paper scissors with a bottle of vodka and a "pirate" shot glass and within in 10 mins of finishing the bottle i was sleeping wrapped up in a curtain.

another point. nearly killed my self at primary school by walking around the class with pencils up my nostrils, you can guess what happens next.

Edited by Broomer
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Don't put little stones up your nose, they WILL get stuck, wasn't pleasent, my dad had to wait til I went to sleep to get them out cos I wouldn't let him :$

lmfao, theres some funny ones in here like!

dont tie your shoe laces together when around lots of people that are likly to push you over... hit head on book case, little willy got what was coming to him though, i beat his arse a few days later! lmao!

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never try to hide a batman figure down your trousers, in order to try and hide it from a teacher.

It will end up somewhere it shouldn't, and you will end up pulling it out.

Can't say this was my doing, but a friends in primary school.

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Always make sure that the barrel of an air rifle aims out the window aswell as the sights.

Failure to do this will end up in you hitting the frame, roof then your best mate in the top of the head haha!

Were funny that

Muzzle clearance is the first thing you should check!

1. Don't call your mate up and tell him to call you when hes at the top of the drive, and when he does so start firing at him with an air rifle. People get hurt.

2. Don't see if you can make flammable things more flammable by adding other flammable things to them in your mates shed. They go 'WOOSH!' scare you and make you knock the above mentioned 'super flammable' stuff onto the floor, thus setting said shed on fire.

3. When washing your dads car with the pressure washer, don't think you're clever and clean the pressure washer with itself - Its electric.

4. When flying round blind corners on your raleigh nitro between a wall and parked cars, make sure you cover the brakes, as when people 'magically appear' infront of you round said blind corner, rolling across the bonnet of a mini after crashing into it isnt fun. Especially when the people you just avoided running over are the girl you fancies older brother and mates.

edit: lmao at the golf ball thing, thats great! A cool thing i learnt as a kid was to wrap a pingpong ball in tin foil and heat it with a lighter - hey presto! super smoke bomb!

Edited by planetxpimp
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Don't put little stones up your nose, they WILL get stuck, wasn't pleasent, my dad had to wait til I went to sleep to get them out cos I wouldn't let him :$

Amen to that. Don't scout out perfect nose shaped seeds and put them up your nose so as to blow out really hard and fire them at girls, and even more so; don't get shocked and breathe in to much while doing this!

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Never fire an air rifle at a corrugated roof, it will ricoshay into your mates eye, even from about 50 yards.

Never drink farmers market cider. 1 large bottle and one small one will get you and a mate completely wrecked giving you a 2 day hangover and making him somehow sleep with his eyes wide open! During the hangover you may text stupid/inappropriate stuff to a girl who isn't your girlfriend.. :S

Never tell your mega strict maths teacher that your not getting one with the work because 'I cant be bothered, its a stupid question.' In my defence, it really was a stupid question.

Never try and eat a CD, it cuts up your mouth quite badly! not me, but one of my mates.

Never stair a cow in the eyes and grin when your only escape rout is through a small river over a barbed wire fence.

Edited by Dont you Just Hate it When...
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