Louth Trials Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 What does a playstation and Michael Jackson have in common?1) They are both plastic.2) They both get turned on by kids.Thats one of my favourites!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixed Pants™ Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 While we're at it:Next time a muslim knocks on your door, look through the letter box and see how they like it...It took me about 3 seconds to laugh and it's not my joke.Sorry if this offends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Beckett Posted November 11, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 While we're at it:Next time a muslim knocks on your door, look through the letter box and see how they like it...It took me about 3 seconds to laugh and it's not my joke.Sorry if this offends.hahahahaha samebloody covering their faces up..............i just wondered, if a muslim with the thing wrapped around the face commited a crime or something, how they could be identified?!!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danfox23 Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 (edited) Whats unusal about michael jackson holding a bay over the balconyHe usaly tosses them off Edited November 11, 2006 by danfox23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Dig Posted November 11, 2006 Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 how does michael jackson pick his noes?? from a magazinean english man an irish man and a scottish man are all lost in the jungle, the stumble into a cannibal village and the chief says hell spare them if they can go into the jungle and get ten pieces of the same fruit. so off they go then english man is first back with 10 bananas and the chief says if he can get them all up his ass without laughing crying shouting ect he'll be spared. the english man gets 1 up then crys in pain.he is eaten. then the scottish man returns with 10 grapes hes given the same task and starts. 1...2,3,4 ...5...6,7,8.....9 and just as he trys to get the tenth bit in he laughs and is eaten. in heaven the english man and scottish man are talking ""u twat", says the english man one more bit and you have been spared i mean why did u laugh??" the scottish man replys, " i saw the irish man coming with bananas" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edd91 Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 There is a blonde, brunette and a redhead on an island and theare starving to death, so they all descide that the best chance tehy have of surving is to try and swim to the next island with food, and water, so the brunette goes first gets half way, gets tired and drowns, then the redhead goes next she also gets half way gets tired and drowns then the bolnde goes she gets half gets tired and swims back (might have to think about this one to get it, if you dont get blonde jokes) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biff... Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 Haha not really that hard to get but made me giggle hehe xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Beckett Posted November 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 lol, some funny jokies on here, keep them comin later on.nite nite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I-LUV-TRIALS Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 how does michael jackson pick his noes?? from a magazinean english man an irish man and a scottish man are all lost in the jungle, the stumble into a cannibal village and the chief says hell spare them if they can go into the jungle and get ten pieces of the same fruit. so off they go then english man is first back with 10 bananas and the chief says if he can get them all up his ass without laughing crying shouting ect he'll be spared. the english man gets 1 up then crys in pain.he is eaten. then the scottish man returns with 10 grapes hes given the same task and starts. 1...2,3,4 ...5...6,7,8.....9 and just as he trys to get the tenth bit in he laughs and is eaten. in heaven the english man and scottish man are talking ""u twat", says the english man one more bit and you have been spared i mean why did u laugh??" the scottish man replys, " i saw the irish man coming with bananas"it not banana's, the irish man comes back this melons lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matt! Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 whats the best thing about shagging 55year olds??...theres 50 of them.. sick but funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Dig Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 it not banana's, the irish man comes back this melons lol.oops i actualy ment pinapples. im not sure how i managed to wright bananas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_kial Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 I think i might have already posted this on up but anywayz..How do you get a bunch of ethiopians into a box.....Throw a can of beans in there....How do you get them out of the box....Run away with the can opener LOLAnd another one..How do you make a stompied in mexico..Throw a coin down the street...How do you know which person is the richest...The one who got the coin.. Haha they made me laugh haa.LiL~KiAl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Sweeney Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 sorry lame joke but Why did the chicken cross the the road ?I don't know you will have to ask the chicken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 If God made the front of a womans body,who made the back?The council...who else would put a shit hole next to a play area!!Carl hahahahah that has to be the best one yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve@banbury-trials Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 what type of animal has a c#nt halfway up its back?a police horse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darrenhopper Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 Why did little Suzie fall off the Swing? Because she had no arms. Why did little Johnny have no friends? Because he had lukemiaWhy did the monkey fall out of the tree?Because he was dead.Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree?Because he was holding onto the first one.Why did the third monkey fall out?He hadn't been paying attention & thought it was a game.What's the difference between a truck load of dead babies & a truck load of bowling balls?You can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trials Maniac Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 lol good jokes.what do you do if you see a muslim drowning??take your foot of his head!!!or an alternativewhat do you do if you see a muslim drowning??throw him his wife and children top.s not said in on offensive way ^^^^^^The Magic Mirror;a blonde brunette and ginger are all in front of a mirror. now this mirror is special, if you stand infront of it and say something thats true you get a wish, if you say something thats not true you dissapear. The brunnette walks up to the mirror and says;I think im the strongest women in the whole world.... this is not true so; poof she dissapearsThe ginger walks upI think i am the most beautiful person in the world..... poof she dissapearsThe blonde walks up and stnds there for a whileI think....poof she dissapears!!!And some quick blonde ones;she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. she thought a quarterback was a refund. she tripped over a cordless telephone. she put lipstick on her forehead to make her mind up. she got stabbed in a shoot-out. they had to burn the school down to get her out of the 3rd grade. she took a ruler with her to bed to see how long she slept. at the bottom of the form where it said sign she put SAGITTARIUS. if she spoke her mind she would be speechless. when she heard 90% of all accident's happened at home she moved. she told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK. she has one toe, and bought a pair of flip flops. she thought 2Pac Shakur was a Jewish Holiday. she got locked in a grocery store and nearly starved to death. she took a spoon to the Super Bowl. she stands up on an empty bus. she studied for a blood test and failed. she invented a solar powered flashlight. she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor. she thought Hamburger Helper came with another person. she tried to drown a fishshe stared at a juice carton for three hours becasue it said concentrateshe got to the airport and a sign said airport left so she turned round ad went homeand finnaly; Do you know ho to keeo a blonde amused for hours??give her a piece of paper that says PTO on both sides!!!Keep them coming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trials Maniac Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 Dead Baby JokesWhat's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off. What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole. What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? f**ked. How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor. What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes. Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face! What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h? Stopping it with a shovel. What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall? Ripping them off again. What's the similarity between a slinky and a babyThey are both totally useless but it's funny to watch them fall down stairs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mat Tea Why Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 (edited) . Edited August 11, 2021 by Mat Tea Why Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jsy Ben Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 Why did Hitler kill himself ?Because he saw the gas bill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Sweeney Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 hi sorry about the lame jokes but here i go anywayWhat is the cheapest type of bicycle you can buy?A penny-farthing! A piece of motorway and piece of dual carriage way are enjoying a drink in the pub. In walks a piece of red tarmac. The bit of motorway whispers to the bit of carrageway "Come on lets drink up and go before the trouble starts; He's a bit of a cyclepath!" A Sardar is spotted with a bicycle by a friend.Friend: Oh, Sardarji, when did you get this nice bike? Where did you buy it?Sardar: Oh, you see it's an interesting story. I was walking on the beach theother day and a beautiful woman came running up to me. She was pushing along abicycle. She stopped in front of me, threw down the bicycle, took off all herclothes and threw them on the ground, and then said "Take whatever you want!"So I took the bicycle.Friend: You did the right thing. Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway!How does bob marley like his donuts? Jam in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixed Pants™ Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 (edited) A Sardar is spotted with a bicycle by a friend.Friend: Oh, Sardarji, when did you get this nice bike? Where did you buy it?Sardar: www.tartybikes.co.uk End of. And WTF @ the motorway joke? Edited November 13, 2006 by Fat Pants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ted Posted November 13, 2006 Report Share Posted November 13, 2006 And WTF @ the motorway joke?I thought it was quite good .This one is slightly inappropriate but anyway..An old man witnesses 14 men beating up a muslim.Later a policeman asked him, 'why didnt you help?'The old man replied, 'well, i thought 14 was enough.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trials Maniac Posted November 14, 2006 Report Share Posted November 14, 2006 all good so far keep them coming o need some enjoyment!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Beckett Posted November 14, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2006 all good so far keep them coming o need some enjoyment!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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