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Relationships And Cheating....


the_ferret

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It is wrong, it is mean, it is thoughtless, it is selfish etc etc, but the fact is most people will do it at some point in their life, whether it's just a kiss or one night stand or full on affair. It's human nature to want what you can't have!

Often it is a sign that you shouldn't be with your partner, subconsciously you want to get caught to get out of the relationship, but sometimes you think the grass will be greener on the other side and in doing it you realise that it's not and that strengthens your relationship, so it can be a healthy thing!

Anyone who says they would never cheat just hasn't been tempted by the right person, everyone has their limits and girls can be very persuasive!

Davey

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it's not all that wrong really - it depends how you do it.

If we're just talking a one/two nighter while your missus is on holiday, a once in a lifetime chance at a threesome/gangbang/shemale/bukkake party etc. or buying yourself a blowjob while you're in the Dam then it's nothing.

More extended affairs are a different matter - that's getting pretty close to b*****d territory.

Its both hopelessly romantic and totally irrational to genuinely believe that after 10 years of a relationship neither party will have felt the urge to pork somebody else. The thing is, after 10 years youll have a lot more invested in a relationship than just humping so minor transgressions aren't going to be an issue

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Its a complex thing, and every situation is different. If you mean by cheating havign a relationship with someone and ogin around sleeping with a load of other people willy nilly, then i don't believe you even deserve to be in a relationship full stop. However, certain situations can arise, whether it be love, lust, drunkness whatever that allow us make mistakes. Im not saying its 'right' in this case, but being in a serious relationship, getting plastered one night and having a one night stand and not rembering much of it is very different to 'hmm i think i feel liek a change tongiht, il go pull some other bird' and both situations should be treated very differently.

I personally don't agree with it, and have never cheated on anyone (although once, and i regret it, have allowed myself to be the '3rd person', which i consider almost as bad, but the situation is different). I also don't belive i have been cheated on, although i do belive another guy was at least partly why my ex left me- but thats another long complex story.

In a relationship there should be communication, openess, trust and honesty. Unless you both agree that its an open relationship, going and sleeping with someone else undermines all of those things. Sometimes people do it, and realise it is a mistake, communicate well and the relationship can be saved, other times its not worth even trying.

To me, you mates views seem very immature:

some think if you can get away with it go for it

That isnt the right atitude to have if you in a relationship, i personally don't think they are mature enough to have any kind of relationship.

Anyone who says they would never cheat just hasn't been tempted by the right person, everyone has their limits and girls can be very persuasive!

I have to say, i partly agree with this, although if you deeply care for someone and have a fair amount of will power- it usually take a LOT of persuasion. Your right, girls can be very persuasive, as i found out when i was the 3rd person kinda thing. she wanted me, and in the end she blamed me for the whole situation, so you've got to be careful.

it's not all that wrong really - it depends how you do it.

If we're just talking a one/two nighter while your missus is on holiday, a once in a lifetime chance at a threesome/gangbang/shemale/bukkake party etc. or buying yourself a blowjob while you're in the Dam then it's nothing.

More extended affairs are a different matter - that's getting pretty close to b*****d territory.

Its both hopelessly romantic and totally irrational to genuinely believe that after 10 years of a relationship neither party will have felt the urge to pork somebody else. The thing is, after 10 years youll have a lot more invested in a relationship than just humping so minor transgressions aren't going to be an issue

Thats a very interesting viewpoint, especially since it comes from someone in a very longterm relationship.

I do agree, that it can be not as bad as some peopel make out, and with that afte such a long time things will change, but i do belive comunication shoudl still be at the heart of the relationship and to go behind the others back isnt right, you should comfornt them and see there opinion. It may open doors to something else, open relation ship or otherwise.

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how is it immature to discuss things....and i understand its wrong and all of that but YOU cant have been that honest ect if you have done it yourself....im not looking for a fight but i just dont get it?

oggy

i never said it was immature to discuss things, infact i think its quite the opposite. Its jsut the views you had posted sound, to me, ver immature.

'if you can get away with it, do it'

Is not a mature way to think about relationships in my opinion.

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Gotta gree with the pipe man there, if it's just sex, the mindless animal lust type that we use the F word to describe, then it has nothing to do with love or emotions and although it's technically cheating it's not that bad. Although if she did it to you then you would cut the guys balls off!

It's when you start liking someone else a bit too much that things get complicated, if you can completely detach from emotions and just get your knob wet then it's not much different from wanking off to porn, and the missus knows I've done that!

Davey

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I don't agree with it. At all. I have had a small amount of perswasion put on me but it just isn't right and most certainly isn't nice. Think about if you found out she had done then you would f**king flip if you were anything like me, and that is probably how she feels. Even if she doesnt find out the guilt will allways be on your mind well it would on me. I wouldn't be able to cope at all.

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This subject seems to be quite relevant At the moment.

Im afriad im just like every other mug that has no thought of thier partners feelings when temptation arises.

If Im remotely not happy, Then im likely to cheat, Which i know is very wrong, But when the opportunity arises I tend to put my 'Live for the moment' hat on. However, If the shoe is on the ot her foot, its one of the most awful things that can happen to someone, so i think i better change my policy pretty soon, thinking about it.

ive cheated and felt bad, been cheated on a few time ana dnoe dont really care if i cheat or not.

if shes relly nice i wont

but if its just a girl of many whatever,

Amen.

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I find when you are in a relationship and you do really like the person loads, Love them even. I find it impossible to think about any one else but them. let alone actually go all the way behide your girlfriends back.

But i guess this feeling always fades eventually. And if you do meet some who is really nice then it may be hard to stay truthful. its all about commitment at the end of the day.

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