Punkrider Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 Girl at school, this is actually what she said:'I wish i was taller, if i stood in mauare would i grow' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOLO Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 homeless guy : would you like a big issue sir ?my mate : no, go home !...................................... :$ oopsiolo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty_susanne Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 At the European Championship in czech:Me: Where shall i put a dab???!?!!!!!!Vaughan: Wherever you want!*putting a dab*Both peter and Vaughan at the same time: NOT THERE!!Have it on video. still laughing when i see it!! //Suss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 At the European Championship in czech:Me: Where shall i put a dab???!?!!!!!!Vaughan: Wherever you want!*putting a dab*Both peter and Vaughan at the same time: NOT THERE!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 :lol:Creep (joking ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 Creep (joking )Im only a man-creep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigjames Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 last week at ocean fest in croyde, me and my mates walkin on beach beers in hand, budle of wood in tow thing of parafinwalks up to cops at entrance to beachcop a: alrite lads whats that then?chris:parafin for a firecop a to cop b: is there anything on there about fires on the beach(referring to a do and dont do sign at entrance)cop b: yeah not fires allowedin reply to this cop a says with straight face: had some last week who mixed there wine with parafin to see if it did ne thing, we had to split them up from killin the one who suggested it because it didnt taste good.cop b: any ways lads have a good night.what the foook was that about, basically set fire to everything and anything but dont under any circumstances drink the parafinyou have been warned!!craig Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waddy Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 will arnold in a chippy in fort william after kneeing me in the leg will: i need you waddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBProductions Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 will arnold in a chippy in fort william after kneeing me in the leg will: i need you waddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_soon_to_be Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 me - she was asking for wood clueadam - if you cum in her arsehole, it looks like.....what ?ever the tutor was laughing, so many more from adam , he's such a tart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitbat Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 I used to work for an electricity company and we were being told about meter reading updates and how they change the rate they charge on the meter for day and night use, we were told that they used radio waves (like bbc radio) to send the signals to the houses to change the meter rates as it was the most reliable way, someone i was in the training group with said 'But what if they haven't got a radio?was quite funny at the time.....Frooty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Has anyone seen my shoe? Posted June 22, 2006 Report Share Posted June 22, 2006 (edited) 'Shitting Dicknipple'Some Big Issue seller being saracstic about people ignoring him - 'BIG ISSUE! THE ONLY MAGAZINE THAT MAKES ME INVISIBLE'My friend - 'HOLY SHIT A FLOATING MAGAZINE'Same friend in random conversation with a black guy - 'I just bought my self a 4 niggerbyte MP3 player' He didnt noticeSame Friend again after 'assaulting' someone and talking to the police. Police - 'Punching him in the testicles is about the worst thing you could have done to him' Friend - 'What if I set his face on fire' Edited June 22, 2006 by Has anyone seen my shoe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smo™ Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Mitch Hedberg: Once I had a Parrot that could talk, but it didn't say 'I'm hungy', so it died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davetrials Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Mitch Hedberg: Once I had a Parrot that could talk, but it didn't say 'I'm hungy', so it died.LMFAO!!!!!!!!haha if he made that up on his own hes a legend.permission to quote!!!!!!!!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtbjosh Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 mallet - 'my boss at work has a Bugati Veyron' spaz from school - the tsunami has turned out to be a good thing, id like to adopt and asian and neglect it' (talking to the rest of the class and the geography teacher by the way)lee buchannon to a random hot girl walking past. 'nice shoes there, fancy a f**k?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fruitbat Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 lee buchannon to a random hot girl walking past. 'nice shoes there, fancy a f**k?' That was either Waynes or Buckys quote, i know wayne used it once but Bucky may have been the instigator (sp) of it Frooty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smo™ Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 LMFAO!!!!!!!!haha if he made that up on his own hes a legend.permission to quote!!!!!!!!?Yeah he did, he's one of my favourite comedians. Sadly he died not long ago but search YouTube.com for Mitch Hedberg and there's countless videos with even more fantastic quotes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramps Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 mallet - 'my boss at work has a Bugati Veyron' I can't beleive I forgot that, 'mallet' is 'trialnior' off this forum for those of you don't know. And considering I am on a path to make my dislike known I thought it would be a good idea to explain it for you that need to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted June 23, 2006 Report Share Posted June 23, 2006 Anzo"Yeah, they lock the car park. But theres always a security guard to let ou out. Its cool cus hes fat" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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