tom tom Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 i have two to kick things off with:both from a jumper in southampton wont mention his name, also i have personally herd him but bambi_3 (simon)"the wind makes my eyes sweat"someone else "where you going with those fireworks?" "shoot the gypsies"and the second one i believe actually happened.tom tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Nick Riviera Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 "you have AIDS" - anon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synergy Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 we were in school and it was snowing so we told my mate then ten minutes later he told us, we were like we told you five minutes ago, he replied"well i couldnt see i had my headphones in"also when i got new forks i said " my lighter is more front end now!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 "Lets go halves on a rape charge".A - "She's fit."B - "Baby too.""Go get aids.""Stop grave dodging you 'unt."So many quotes, so little time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 amen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 Oh look a duck, how'd that get there?It flew.Hahah you tool, ducks can't fly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipkickbs Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 "this thread is ok"Me, 15 seconds ago.Ian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krisboats Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 Commentator:"Joe Cole..... (receives ball and looks as though he wants to take a shot) Why not?"JOE COLE SCORES!!! Oh my god that was hilarious, the tone of his voice and everything... just didn't see it coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bionic Balls Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 anyone see ashley cole in the first half...easy to lipread, saying "f**king wanker"...twas funny.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat hudson Posted June 20, 2006 Report Share Posted June 20, 2006 bikeshow "oooooooooh he's taking his valve caps off.... he's going for somthing big!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrayvon Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 That baby down there \/Some kid on shipley glen said it Was about 8 or summat, and then produced THE biggest burp known to man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 (edited) "WHY AREN'T YOU FAT?!""Reason 45: Your mum""Im not naked! Ive still got my socks on!"Some of my mates were at a party and this guy is bearing his soul out and this other guy is taking the piss out of him:"Stop it johnny, its like you're stabbing a screwdriver into my heart and twisting it""Phillips or flathead?" Edited June 21, 2006 by PaRtZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 I live near a school, and I have to pass it to go to a mates house. Its only a primary school, anyway, me and my mate were walking past it one day at about 3pm, so all the mums are stood outside waiting for their kids.So my mate, being the funny delightful chap that he is, just sparks off a conversation with me to see the parents reaction...the main one being...'and anyway, its rubbish, the police said I'm not allowed near kids anymore and I've been put on the sex offenders list'The parents faces were worth a million. Trying really hard to keep a straight face with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IOLO Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 from ali c'' this isnt a video , This Is Real Life !! ''i drove down from backcowm quarry track at just over 70mph ! with a fractured foot i couldnt press pedals with.ali was scared, but 5 mins later he randomly comes out with.'' Fukin hell i forgot u were driving with only one foot ! jeeeezzz ! ''from a mate (maurice)maurice: what times the next train.me: oh i think its 20 pastmaurice: what u on about its 5 past ! (showing me his watch)hahahaha,, so quik to be slow !!iolo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Greenthumb Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 "i Would destroy her c**t" my mate ollie at the cinema after seeing some hot girl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpson Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 *takes burger* "EY i was drinking that burger"but most recent one doesnt sound as funny when you say it back it was his tone - this kids gf had just cheated on him"ah tom you gonna beat him up??""no if i beat up anyone its going to be her!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Some girl when I was at school..."If you take laxatives when you're pregnant does the baby come out all runny?""Do some people pay 100% income tax?"FFS. And she was about 16 at the time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janson Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 "What's leaking petrol?""It's the barbecue!"We had 4' flames coming out of a small BBQ thing, and it leaked petrol into the water. We were on a raft making food. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 A girl in my mates year at school, about 4 years ago now but she was about 15...."Wheres the black market?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future orange 660 Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 practically anything that pete wright says is always entertaining.'my dad owns ebc''i own rocket cycles'i cant think of all of his infamous quotes although im sure a whole thread could me made full of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSuave Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 ex girlfriend once asked me, along with many other things (dumb bint) ; '' arn't the sun and the moon the same thing?'' and also '' isn't cape town in wales?'' one of my particular favourites - ''its not rape its suprise sex''and good ol monty python;''hes not the messiah, hes a very naughty boy, now PISS OFF'' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomN Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 Mate came out with this one, when people fallen off their bikes my mate shouts out"Get that lad a strongbow" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davetrials Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 ate sum of fatmikes dodgy biscuits so i was stoned of me tits phil walked past with a packet of crisp and i pissed my self and said "hey look its the post man are u going the post office"good times till i went under and u all totured me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicH_87 Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 mate at work randomley,"i couldn't eat a kangaroo teste" *pulls awrkward face* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash-Kennard Posted June 21, 2006 Report Share Posted June 21, 2006 tomtom- "theres a black man cutting the grass" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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