Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread

[Davetrials]

second most useful post ever on the foum

whats the 1st?

[Dr. Nick Riviera]

kick her in the tits

[ben_travis]

probably one of mine....im mr helpful ill have u know

[Simpson]

Long story short... 3 f**k buddys on the table but i said no to them. Was at party with girl ive really liked for ages but took a different girl home. Since then went reading with the girl i really like, spent a night with her blah blah blah

Girl Likes Me

I Like Girl

Girl wishes to take it no futher

michael is angered

michael want her

michael doenst want her body

just to be arround her

apparently its her....

but i cant make it right.... i want her... now

Now ive talked about getting a camera and was like oh i think ill go on a mini break to Le gay Parrie for some different shots different country e.t.c. and she wants to come with me... text me this morning like oh love you.... shes the best person on Earth... but now waiting for hers kinda taking a lil bit of ze piss.... but i wanna wait.... but new colledge new girls wednesday but i cant stop thinking about her!!!! angered

[Josh Greenan!!!!!!!!!!]

How do you lot talk to girls so easy? Last week there was this really Hot girl n she said kept looking at me so i thought better talk 2 her but i couldn't. Every time i get near her i get shy. Any tips lads how do you just walk up to a girl n get her? Cheers josh.

[Davetrials]

stop being such a fag and get a back bone, look at her as just another person.

[Fish-Finger-er]

How do you lot talk to girls so easy? Last week there was this really Hot girl n she said kept looking at me so i thought better talk 2 her but i couldn't. Every time i get near her i get shy. Any tips lads how do you just walk up to a girl n get her? Cheers josh.

i would just say loosen up and be yourself, but chances are yourself is one of them quiet intimate beings who enjoys watchin the stars and talkin about band of brothers.

1) go grow some bollocks, women generally dont like shy inward guys, they like the guys that speak, realise this, that if you think she may like you, chances are she may like you more if you actually speak to her.

2) at the moment your just the alright looking guy whos eating a kfc family bucket all to himself with half a large side down his jacket supping a 2 litre bottle of rola cola in the park. seriously, how many fit, but nothing special girls do you see each day, must average out to be 50 + i should imagine, you remember very few, cos they didnt speak to you, i guarantee though you can remember what the last girl you didnt know but ended up speaking to looked like(unless you wer wasted in which case, you wer chatting crap anyway). seriously, you start speaking to her, shell remember you, id rather be remembed the cnut who got shot down by 342 girls in a row, than not remembered. your no1 to her as it is, it cant get no worse. if she fobs you off, then who cares, its not like you where making sex shapes just standing there not talking to her.

3) just pretend shes your older brother/uncle/grandma, makes them a lot easier to talk too(Also useful on the vinegar strokes to put your mind off sex).... nah thats generally a bad idea.

but as for the talking, just say anything, not too cliche or obvious, but not too random. something along the lines of.

"was i talking to you here last week(handy in a club)"

"do i know you from somewhere"

"excuse me, dont suppose youve got the time(dont do this after youve just sat on your phone for 5 minutes, or if theres a stupidly obvious clock around, or your wearing a watch).

"excuse me, i was waiting for some mates, is this..... (its dead useful in a different city, if your in a bar/pub chain, ask them if this is wetherspoons/lloyds/yates(whichever one its not), it really is failsafe, you either get chatting after the first initial convo starter and carry on in there, their real taken and actually walk you to wetherspoons, you get chattin, and they then mention your mate in other pub- at this point you can either leave, leave and if its going well, tell them youll meet them later for a pint, or just say youll go outside and ring them, walk outside and dont ring em, or if its going crap,make your own excuses to leave to see your mate in other said pub chain, and walk off)

anything like this will get the convo started, after that chat anything, pick up clues from them as to what there into, and match it up to your "faux " interests(if your shallow and just after a quick fling, or use it gauge how suitable they are, im talking dress sense, the songs she lip syncs to playin on the jukebox, the songs she gets up to dance to in the club,badges, her phone ringtone, jewellry, all allows you to get a better judge of who she is).

dont look at your phone, dont look at your watch, dont fidget, dont stare aimlessly, dont wander, just pretend to be genuinely interested in the conversation.#

its not hard to do, i dont find, right now you dont know her, a 2 minutes conversation, and if it goes tits up, you just go back to not knowing her.

[Davetrials]

if he has no back bone though he wont get far lol, cos theres no way the girl will start somthing

"got the time?"

"12:00"

"ok"

"weres weather spoons?"

"over there"

"thanks"

"do i no you from sumwere?"

"no f**k off"

"ok"

"was i speeking to u here last week?"

"no"

"ok"

and so on...

[Fish-Finger-er]

if he has no back bone though he wont get far lol, cos theres no way the girl will start somthing

"got the time?"

"12:00"

"ok"

"weres weather spoons?"

"over there"

"thanks"

"do i no you from sumwere?"

"no f**k off"

"ok"

"was i speeking to u here last week?"

"no"

"ok"

and so on...

thats scarily like my mates conversations. but to be honest the "im down here visiting mates, they said theyd meet me in wetherspoons, is this wetherspoons" can normally evoke a minute or so of conversation between even the dreariest couple.

[Davetrials]

LMAO i wanna try that for a laugh.

[Simpson]

Personally i find its all about eye contact! if your in a bar with some mates then don't try chatting to girls when they're there!!! just keep catching a girls eye and then wink or summink and then when you walk up its kinda like the 1st kiss over an done with kinda thing!!! Me and my mates have like bad pulling line nights... where you can only use the classic lines!! if you do it with a massive smile and a bunch of charisma and charm it can spark up a convo lol just rememebr to grin loads and look into there eyes with a twinkle and you cant go wrong!!! hahaha

[Fixed Pants™]

Right, Hayley... She knows i like her, i've just been speaking to her good friend, and let her know how i feel about Hayley... and last night they were discussing that i like her n that, too much to detail on but they were talking basically.

now, shes not gonna go out with anyone atm, because she's already taken, but, my friend ben was all over her last night, and i'm f**king royally pissed off if he knows that i like her and still did it anyway (only found out he was all over her today, talking to her friend) and i will die inside if he does like her that much, and especially if when she breaks up with her bf, and ben wins. i'm gonna have to have a word with my friend, he'll probably deny things but then go ahead anyway, i think that's what he's like... i'm like really worried, because he's the better looking/cooler/sexier/popular (what ever... it's the non gay truth, and it's not my opinion, it's fact) or what ever person, out of us two, and i'm worried he's gonna win. when i have a word with him today, what do i say?

beth (hayleys good friend) is gonna talk to hayley about stuff tonight, i dunno how she's gonna react, but beth reassures me she's (hayley) not gonna be a fanny about it, i f**king hope she won't be. i'd prefer to be her friend, than her not like me because i like her.

i dunno, as much as i wanna 'go out with her' asap, that means she can't keep a relationship too long? i know hers is long distance but i really don't wanna 'go out with her' and then have it end a month later because she's bored of me or what ever.

i'm in a load of moods currently. i feel so f**king scared that ben will win, and or that ben likes her and is gonna do something about it, worried she doesn't like me or what ever, angry that ben was all over her (apparently, i didn't see much, but i can guess he was being quite flirty, if he was all over her) i just really don't want this to go tits up, because i like her so much, and she's like, perfect and she's the only girl i've propperly fallen in love with.

gahh

(sorry for lack of punctuation, it was an essay for me to write)

Edited September 1, 2007 by Fat Pants

[Token]

she's the only girl i've propperly fallen in love with.

Awwww bless your cottons. The only thing you can do is wait and see, as for Ben, I can only really suggest making him look ugly to give you a better chance. Bit of facial reconfiguration might do the trick. On a more serious note, just see what the outcome is tonight and go from there.

[Tom_]

pants im int same situation, exept my mate IS going out with the girl...

[Fixed Pants™]

Yeah, i'm gonna have to wait till tonight, but i can't f**king wait, as you can imagine.

I don't wanna hurt my friend ben, because he's a good mate and i've known him since the start of secondary school. And i probably couldn't anyway, in terms of ability mainly, but i couldn't do that.

[Fish-Finger-er]

Yeah, i'm gonna have to wait till tonight, but i can't f**king wait, as you can imagine.

I don't wanna hurt my friend ben, because he's a good mate and i've known him since the start of secondary school. And i probably couldn't anyway, in terms of ability mainly, but i couldn't do that.

no piece of ass is worth a friendship.

end of.

[Fixed Pants™]

Word.

Gay, suspense is gay.

[Fixed Pants™]

oh my f**king god.

&Beth(X).x .x// says:

:/

gleenn

i spoke 2 haylee about it

-        FAT PANTS™ has a job      says:

yeh?

oh

yehhhh

&Beth(X).x .x// says:

and she said she only likes you as a friend. and she wants 2 see what happens with ben :/

oh look, my heart, oh look, it's just been f**king ripped in half.

[Tom_]

oh my f**king god.

&Beth(X).x .x// says:

:/

gleenn

i spoke 2 haylee about it

-        FAT PANTS™ has a job      says:

yeh?

oh

yehhhh

&Beth(X).x .x// says:

and she said she only likes you as a friend. and she wants 2 see what happens with ben :/

oh look, my heart, oh look, it's just been f**king ripped in half.

thats the way it goes most of the time mate

just make sure you keep it together n do all the stuff we talked bout on msn. itl be orite bud.

[Haz]

Seems like any other 16 y/o ho to me.

Edited September 1, 2007 by Haz

[Fixed Pants™]

No way.

She's also 16...

f**king hell. That's f**king shit.

This pretty much sums up why i'll be even more pissed off:

-        FAT PANTS™ has a job      says:

im gonna be so f**king pissed off if anything happens between haylee and ben

that really is cuntish

&Beth(X).x .x// mjsdhiskuhlvk says:

i dont think it will

-        FAT PANTS™ has a job      says:

its like, ive got f**k all chance with any girl, execpt maybe hayley

he could probably go to bromley and find one any day

LEYGIOTUIHGDFTUYGVTDUGVYTG ARGH.

[Dan Campbell]

*hug*

[Fish-Finger-er]

No way.

She's also 16...

f**king hell. That's f**king shit.

This pretty much sums up why i'll be even more pissed off:

-        FAT PANTS™ has a job      says:

im gonna be so f**king pissed off if anything happens between haylee and ben

that really is cuntish

&Beth(X).x .x// mjsdhiskuhlvk says:

i dont think it will

-        FAT PANTS™ has a job      says:

its like, ive got f**k all chance with any girl, execpt maybe hayley

he could probably go to bromley and find one any day

LEYGIOTUIHGDFTUYGVTDUGVYTG ARGH.

beths seeming friendly, get in her pants.

nah but seriously moping around and gettin narked about ur mate, to her best mate, wont do u any good, neither will that negative attitude of "ive got f**k all hance with any girl, except maybe hayley"

Edited September 1, 2007 by trials_punk182

[Haz]

I'm sure if you are nice to poopipe he will give you dead cert ways to get into her pants.

I'm not saying they'll be legit, I'm just saying.

[Si-man]

Yeah, i'm gonna have to wait till tonight, but i can't f**king wait, as you can imagine.

I don't wanna hurt my friend ben, because he's a good mate and i've known him since the start of secondary school. And i probably couldn't anyway, in terms of ability mainly, but i couldn't do that.

you can do it, bit of 2 x 4 round the head, maybe a boot to the face or 2.

Don't think i could let a thing like that rest really till id vented anger.