JT! Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 met a girl through online dating, chatted for around 1 month and ive seen her 4 times (mainly within 1 week or so) i actually think shes pretty cool, she said how nice & fun it was and was up for doing it more.......now out the blue, havent heard anything for 4 or so days & every time i suggest meeting up a few weeks ago, she would get all funny with "ill let you know". time to move onto the next girl or is she playing hard to get? whats everyone's views, found another guy? i wouldn't normally write in here but my mind is constantly thinking about her??? no point in dwelling & now onto the next one if thats the case!if you recon shes playing hard to get, whats the best way to deal with it? Good advice being said here.I'm thinking it's more likely she's met someone else. Happened to me once. But that someone else ended up sleeping with her best friend then suddenly the lines of communication were open again... well not from my end anyway.Leave it be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted October 10, 2015 Report Share Posted October 10, 2015 As everyone else has said, whatever she's up to ignorance is the way to deal with it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted October 11, 2015 Report Share Posted October 11, 2015 Good advice being said here.I'm thinking it's more likely she's met someone else. Happened to me once. But that someone else ended up sleeping with her best friend then suddenly the lines of communication were open again... well not from my end anyway.Yeah wise words - if in a month she suddenly re-appears all chatty then her other thing (if there is one) didn't work out. Again, maintain your dignity and don't let yourself become the fallback option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted October 11, 2015 Report Share Posted October 11, 2015 I had a female friend who treated lads like that, she always spends time with her friends before her boyfriend. He's clearly there just to fill the gaps.Or was anyway, she dumped him recently for complaining too much. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted October 11, 2015 Report Share Posted October 11, 2015 Avoid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trials owns Posted October 19, 2015 Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) wow, well after that, she send me a few pictures & a few messages, i got the best friends facebook a few days ago as we started chatting (met her at the carnival) then found out she was engaged LOL i feel pretty used! but finding it funny really, poor lad marrying her! time to go after the bestmate........ Edited October 19, 2015 by trials owns 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted October 19, 2015 Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 Had a pretty sweet argument earlier, left the flat and went to the pub for cold beer.Don't have rows often, not a big fan of it to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 What happened? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted October 20, 2015 Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 Nothing much, a couple of silly comments that escalated into a pointless row.Rather than hanging about and making it worse, I decided a quick solo pub trip was in order.All sorted now, I got a load of apologies and a Chinese take away in the end... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted October 27, 2015 Report Share Posted October 27, 2015 How about a funny story for you to laugh at my expense. Go on a date on Friday and meet at the library pub in Leeds. She turns up and like she's actually not as fat as what I imagined. We go to the first bar and as we're a at at the table, this guy comes up to the table with two drinks in his hands and goes. I just thought I'd get you these as your mrs is absolutely stunning and I'm thanking you for going out with such a pretty girl hahaha how weird I thought. As we leave I thank the guy and she hugs him too and as she does she whispers to him he's not my boyfriend. So then he tries to get her number right in front of me. She nearly caves in and does it but holds back. Already thinking hmm ok We then go to a place called mook and as we get there at the bar some guy tries it on with her again! Really quite pestery. He looks like a fanny from geordie shore or something. She doesn't turn him away to talk to me she like loves the attention :/ age goes to the toilet and when she does this same guy f**king follows her! Still pestering her. Again she doesn't say no. Gets to about midnight now and she goes for a wee again... She doesn't come back for a while. So I text her asking if she's ok... She goes "I feel really rotten I've jumped in a taxi home. I'm really sorry" I'm like rightttttt She then posts a story on snapchat at 10am saying work in two hours and just got in... That's the first time that's happened in 20 tinder dates the thing is we got on fairly well the convo was always flowing. It was like she was always tempted by those around her? Weird.New girl I'm seeing is on her course hahaha Said she's the biggest Hoe ever and she used to live with her. Always bringing guys back then wondering why they don't like her anymore. Funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamKidney Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Was hoping I'd never have to post here in any seriousness. Relationship of of two years ended yesterday, decision on her part. There was zero indication this was dawning in anyway, just dropped on me. Feel utterly devastated. She's adamant it wasn't my fault and that her feelings have just dwindled away for what we have, but I can't accept that. I'm truely in love with her and it's gone. Never felt anything like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 I've been there, many of us have. It's f'cking shit but it gets better, and then one day you're with someone else and you can hardly even remember being upset about the last one. Then it happens all over again... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Yup, been there before too. It does get easier and in future you bounce back quicker too. Definitely sucks, but just find another ride to help you get over it quicker! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.KYDD Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Been there dude. Nothing much anyone can say to make it better, just gotta give it time. Surround yourself with friends and focus hard on something which takes up free time - riding, working on your car (for me it's climbing) You'll be 'reet 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamKidney Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Everything seemed so perfect, right up until the evening before the morning she told me. All so sudden. I had so many plans and ideas for us and knowing I can't fulfil them with who I wanted makes me feel empty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Best way to get over one woman is to get under another. You know what you gotta do, kid. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.KYDD Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 45 minutes ago, SamKidney said: Everything seemed so perfect, right up until the evening before the morning she told me. All so sudden. I had so many plans and ideas for us and knowing I can't fulfil them with who I wanted makes me feel empty. Try not to wallow in the sadness of it all, you'll just make it worse. You need to make a concerted effort to fill your time with stuff you enjoy for the foreseeable future. Actually plan what you want to do every night for the next couple of weeks or so. Arrange to meet up with friends, plan time to work on your car, go to the gym, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Nothing any of us will say will make a difference, but come and have a look back on these in a year or so and you'll know we've all been there and now you have too. Doesn't make it any easier, but there we go. Try not to wallow, as @J.KYDD said, but if you find yourself wallowing don't beat yourself up about that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 Definitely don't dwell on it mate. Nothing what people say can really do anything to help though I've found. The best thing you can do however is to do stuff that you enjoy, see loads of different people. Get absolutely hammered but do not, and I mean do not contact her. Delete her from everything. No contact. At all you will see why in a few months time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted November 24, 2015 Report Share Posted November 24, 2015 You can make efforts to do stuff etc... Reality is, you'll feel like shit for a while. The old cliche "Time is a healer" is a cliche for a reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamKidney Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 (edited) I guess I just don't understand why it came about so suddenly. There were definitely no feelings against her from my part and was doing everything id always done that made her happy. I was happy, more than happy really. I don't get how that just changes from her part so suddenly without an outside influence. So much shit rattling round my head because there's that many possibilities. Such a gutting feeling that all I did for her means nothing now. Little shit like clothes she wears, jewellery, even the f**king dog id bought her. I keep seeing things that belong to her and it reduces me to tears, how can she live with all that without thinking "f**k me Sam was alright". I gave her absolutely everything, not just talking material possessions but all the care and attention she ever needed or wanted. Edited November 25, 2015 by SamKidney Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 Has she given you a reason? Best thing to do is play it cool, cut off all contact, see if she contacts you - she might realise she's made a mistake and come back. Either way, cutting off contact is the way forward, don't seem desperate. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamR28 Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 47 minutes ago, SamKidney said: I guess I just don't understand why it came about so suddenly. It didn't. Instead of wanting to hurt your feelings, she hid away how she felt - been drifting apart from you for a while, but only now plucked up the courage to say something. You can give everything but if the spark isn't there, that's something you can't force. Don't be angry at her, I am almost certain it wasn't intentional on her part, and she probably feels as shit as you about what she's done. Edit: I don't know her, but I can identify with the situation... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 Just now, Adam@TartyBikes said: I was trying to work out how best to put that, glad someone else did. It's kind of like how people who are 'overnight successes' have been working at it for 10 years – this feels sudden but it unfortunately wasn't. As men we're generally oblivious to it. </sexism> Would you rather be in a relationship where you're oblivious to the fact it's not working for the other person, or let that person go? If you can get your head around that at this time then for one you're doing better than I have in the same situation, but you might also feel a bit better a bit quicker. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted November 25, 2015 Report Share Posted November 25, 2015 ^^ What he said, it can be hard to broach the subject of a relationship break down if it's a slow burning thing, I would be willing to bet that she still wants to remain in contact as a friend because that's how she sees you now. The same happened to me, I was with Jacki (my last ex) for 4 years and it just worked out that we weren't as compatible as we thought we were but she had the balls to bring it out into the open and end the relationship. It was gutting but I soon realised that yes it was the right decision. It all got a bit weird (in a good way) in that I almost immediately started a casual relationship with my now wife (who was Jacki's friend and had that week broken up with her partner of 6 years), Jacki then went and started a similar relationship with Lee (a mutual friend of all three of us who had just broken up with his partner of 3 years) and are now engaged. We're all still really good mates, it's just been a bit of a wife swap and all of us are in a much happier place It will be for the better, blokes quite often are emotionally retarded and blinkered to relationship problems if they're subtle issues; moreso to the point if the partner is hiding the issues in an attempt to not hurt you. Yes it sucks, yes it feels hollow and empty but it will be better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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