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Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread


Has anyone seen my shoe?

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Im just letting you know thats all..I actualy like to warn people well in advance of misfortunes.

I come on here because i ride trials bikes...And sometimes like to spread a little truth here and there...(even though people tend to laugh ) Thats cool though ive done my bit by pre-warning.

Im not too botherd if im not well recieved by the majority...The few friends i have here are all i need .:)

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.I will how ever Leave permenantly I have over stayed my welcome by a country mile.....Thats very obvious.....See jardo i do care about other people.. (Y)

Il end it on a positive note

Merry christmas and a happy new year .

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Im just letting you know thats all..I actualy like to warn people well in advance of misfortunes.

I come on here because i ride trials bikes...And sometimes like to spread a little truth here and there...(even though people tend to laugh ) Thats cool though ive done my bit by pre-warning.

Im not too botherd if im not well recieved by the majority...The few friends i have here are all i need . :)

Letting me know what exactly?

Do you behave this way in the real world?

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I've gone through a lot of crap with my girlfriend.

If you remember some of my posts from earlier in the year I talked about how she has had a shocking upbringing and has a lot of issues, if you cant remember I'll go over it a bit.

Pretty much she was taken from Florida to NZ by her uncle because her parents where druggies. Spent about 7 years being sent to different foster homes, most of them really bad ones who didnt care about her. Had a very messy break up with a long term boyfriend and tried to commit suicide. Since we have been dating I have spent countless hours convincing her that she is worth something and that she is a good person.

Back in the middle of the year she hit rock bottom and threatened to off herself again. I stopped anything from happening and after a long time gave her another chance, because I knew she was worth it. As a result of thinking she had lost me, and me not giving up on her, she has changed drastically and is an amazing person. She still has a lot of independence and walls but she isnt the self hating girl she used to be.

Our relationship was going great for a long time, but slowly the passion was dying off until it got to the point where the most intimacy was a kiss good night. I've been going through a lot of personal stuff and not knowing what I was doing with my life and have been pretty low, I went to my brothers wedding and got extremely jealous at how amazing his relationship with his now wife was.

I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend two weeks ago because I thought there was no hope for us, we were doing nothing and there was tension building between us. I didnt want to hurt her or get hurt so I thought I had to end it ASAP.

A few days later we spoke about it all and every thing I hated about what was wrong with our relationship, she also hated. She wanted to work on it. Because I love her and want us to work I agreed that we could take it real slowly and try repair crap.

The issue is, half of me wants it to work out but the other half feels nothing. Its like I have pretty much given up and want to be alone, but every time I think about not being with her I think its a horrible mistake. I know that I need time to sort my crap out, and I cant promise her that I will get back the passion I once had for her, no matter how much I want to. That sucks a huge amount because its extremely hard on her having a big MAYBE over our relationship.

I dont know what to do. Give up or keep trying. I've spent a year giving it all I have. Change is happening for the better, but its happening so slow I dont know if I can last, or if I should try and last.....

Sorry for the extremely patchy and all over the show post, but yeah. I have no idea what Im doing.

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Nobody can really help you mate, you need to decide how you really feel. We can all preach about how our relationships are, but only you know what yours is really like.

It does like a tricky situation, perhaps you need to change your mindset and give it a go, or if you can't do that, it's probably because you know it's not worth it - that's a decision that only you can make imo.

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Are you only trying again because you are worried what might happen to her without you there to look after her?

I realised with a gf like that once that there's only so much you can do. We all have problems. We can choose to be victims, disempower ourselves and be miserable expecting the world to change for us, or we can choose to be survivors and work with what we've got. Life's to short to try to drag someone else along with you.

Sticking the knife in the one you love is hard. But ultimately there are millions more suitable women out there. It's easy to feel like this is some big upheaval, and it is, but in 3 months you'll feel better, and then in 6 you'll be with someone you're more stable and happy with. It'll be like a new life with someone, and you'll be glad that the hardship you endured led to something good.

The older I get, the less time I feel I can give to people who have a negative impact on my life. And I try to weigh it up with the here and the now, not try to keep a relationship going because of what happened once upon a time, or how things were. People change, the world changes, life takes us in new directions.

Personally I think you're better off without her. As Mike says, it's easy to preach though. I clung on to several girlfriends for far too long - in other cases maybe I was the negative one bringing her down. But if you can endure losing the comfort and security of someone you know, you may end up way better off.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Haha.

So I can't log into iTunes.

The guy from Apple Support chat was just chatting to me to pass the time because I had to wait five minutes for a support pin to generate and he needed to elevate my issue to a senior advisor.

He asked me how Christmas was and he hoped I spent it with loved ones.

A bit odd, but ho hum might as well chat to the stranger about my Christmas. So I told him.

10888961_1577054699176372_17428616592750

I think I just got agony aunt-ed by Apple Support?

So I said, 'is that to fix the girlfriend issue, or the iTunes log in.'

He said 'I'm sorry Sir, I need to elevate your iTunes log in to a senior advisor.'

He's clearly giving me life advice, legend.

Edited by Pashley26
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  • 4 weeks later...

Women do confuse me sometimes.

Before she went travelling she was hugely unhappy because she felt like there was no space at home, she didn't have any free time, her mum was stressing her out, working 24/7 at the pub life was just a wash rinse repeat of "get up, go to work with parents and be stressed out all day, come home, go to work, go home again, be stressed out by parents again. Come and see me, moan at me about it all the time and not have a good time because she was stressed, back to parents and repeat."

So now that the travelling is coming to a close, and she is on her way back next weekend, even though I've worked really hard preparing a lovely house that we can both spend as much time as we want in, is so cheap she doesn't have to rush into a job and will be the answer to all of her prior problems...

Apparently she is going to work at the pub again and carry on juggling life between parents, me and most importantly what she wants.

Why are women incapable of understanding that if you keep doing what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got.

I find it very odd.

It doesn't annoy me, I've got my lovely house and I will be super happy there.

But what will annoy me is the constant moaning about something that she can change so easily.

I know that as soon as she realises how stress free and great I have it she will want to get involved. It just confuses me why she can't see that now.

/rant. No further input required really.

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Women do confuse me sometimes.

/rant. No further input required really.

Woman...

I had similar issues with my ex. In the end I realised that you can't force a decision, even if you know that it is the right one for her. Just be there to try her make her as happy as possible really.

Also, I can't see the image you posted previously!

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I'm being ignored now because in response to her declaring "I will have to work really hard and live at my parents so I can save enough money to go backpacking across Europe in summer" I said...

"You have just spent 6 months in Australia leaving me here twiddling my thumbs and spending thousands renovating a house for us to live in that you don't seem to give a f**k about, if you're going to just run off again when you get back then say so now so I can go and find myself a girlfriend that isn't a selfish twat."

Apparently that's an unreasonable reply?

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