Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread

[dann2707]

That's like saying it's confusing for a guy to have condoms even though he hasn't had sex.

Not really. Pills f**k you up and you have to take it everyday. Bit of a chore expecially if you know you're not going to get laid for a while.

[J.KYDD]

Pills made my Mrs start to gain weight. f**ked them off pronto

[wilf]

The pill helps with periods or some shit. A girl I know had really bad ones so she was trying to find a pill that helps with the pain.

[HippY]

we should rename this thread to " Big and hairy man talking about vagina bleeding and pills"

[Tony Harrison]

I was in an elevator the other day and a fat miserable middle-aged woman was telling a cute young Asian woman that she shouldn't wear a top that is remotely revealing because: "You know what happens then? I'll tell you. Men see you as sex objects."

Just then it was my floor, I walked away in disgust then wish I'd said something like yeah well, she could get fat, bitter and miserable too if she doesn't want to get any action... But hey, we always think of these things later. But I digress - the point being here that there's this whole trend particularly with feminist bloggers of seeing men as these predatory beasts who, like the woman said, just see women as sex objects. This is to a certain extend true, but I did like that #notallmen hashtag that went around, because it's unfair to tar everyone with the same brush.

So it irritates me when women use sex as a bargaining chip. Because surely this just reinforces the perception of it as a commodity, something to be used to get your own way or to win a power game. I saw this friend of mine post on Facebook about how she had too much work to do, and how she needed a nice man to help out around the place in return for "cuddles" (her quote marks). A lot of women act like sex isn't enjoyable for them, like it's just something which they do to treat the man, and how he should somehow be grateful for that. (One presumes they only had bad sex before)

A couple of weeks back I met a girl, swapped numbers. We went out once for drinks and dinner, then she came and cooked at mine, and when I started work in the evening she went home. Next time she came round on a Friday night with some wine, we watched a film (upon moving in here I wisely freed up space in the living room by moving the TV into the bedroom), and at some point we got a bit close in bed and things got a little intimate. Usually this above-the-waste intimacy is what I consider to be crossing the line between being friends and more-than-friends.

The next day she went home, and I considered that I didn't really want a relationship with this girl. Bear in mind we hadn't had sex the night before. So I did the decent thing and sent her a message letting her know how I felt. I actually prefer doing a written message because it's easy to articulate what you mean and make sure it's right before you send it. She fires a message back saying hey you're not my type and I don't want a relationship anyway. Ok, so we're just friends after all.

Next time she comes round she grabs me and proceeds to maul my face off nearly. Really going at it. We eventually end up in bed, both topless with her rubbing herself off on me. At some point we stopped, she seemed to suddenly reach a point where she didn't want to go further. We'd already discussed the relationship/friends thing, and she said she was easy going, that being friends and physical is ok with her. WIN! I thought... but there was always going to be a catch. On this occasion I guessed she just wasn't quite ready to go further yet.

So we have another time like that, then tonight we end up in the same position and I'm thinking right, time to step this up a notch, so I quite plainly tell her that I want to f'ck her, to which she responds that she wants to f'ck me too. Ok I think, and reach down to get to work. Then she says "No, not like this...". "Not like what?" "Well not if we are just friends."

See I'd had a sneaky feeling this was coming. The "pay wall" as I call it. She would rather withold her own enjoyment as well as mine in an effort to get what she wants, i.e. commitment from me. Now I could understand if she'd done this the moment we'd first kissed, and been like "Hey we shouldn't...", but not when you've just been frotting yourself off nearly naked on the guy while you shove your tits in his face. And on several occasions. Ok, so this is a situation I've heard of before, and I was once in a slightly similar one, and the options I see are:

1) You quickly tell her that, miraculously, you want to be her boyfriend (if you were young and eager for a f'ck you could do this, get your end away then backpedal and ditch her - not my style)

2) Keep being in limbo, being the guy that does boyfriend-ish stuff with the girl but never quite gets 'there'

3) Force a reversion back to normal friendship and move on.

So I took option 3, since the others seemed weak. I said ok, we can be normal friends, I smiled, and said hey it's cool sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. Then she cracked the shits with me, got pissed off saying she was confused, couldn't see what I meant, and didn't understand what I wanted from her. I mean I get it, a girl doesn't want some guy just to screw her but not be committed, but at the same time surely she can understand why it's f'cking frustrating to have some girl go nearly all of the way, and then suddenly stop dead. It's why I have never - and will never - go to a lapdancing club. To hell with that shit. Either I'm with a girl who's mature enough to know what she wants and not deny herself, or we're at best going to be just friends.

Anyway, I confronted her and said "I thought you didn't want a relationship anyway, and I'm not your type right?" which of course she had to admit was just bravado, not wanting to lose face when I said I hadn't wanted to be her boyfriend. As if she was trying to kid herself that that wasn't what she wanted, when it was. I mean she'd been going crazy trying to please me, cooking for me, cleaning my kitchen and shit. I guess the whole lot was a long attempt to make me her man, but ultimately it failed. Given I have no emotional attachment to her I can quite happily go out and see her getting it on with another guy and not give a flying f'ck.

And you know, the best times I ever had were when I was 'seeing' girls and we were not in a 'relationship', usually because one of us was shortly to be leaving, or like when I was travelling and would hang out with a girl for a week before going separate directions. I don't know why more people can't just enjoy themself with someone instead of worrying about 'it is'. In this case who knows, she might've been so outrageously good in bed that I'd have wanted a bit more from her. Now she's acting all pissy like she was gambling on me giving into her spell and now it's backfired.

It's actually quite funny watching it unravel, and how predictable it is, and it's irritating her because I am genuinely cool with us being friends. I'm just mildly annoyed that she denied us both in the interests of not wanting to be a 'friend with benefits'. Too bad for her I got a date lined up for Saturday already...

[The_Zulu]

You guys are so uneducated!

They regulate the menstrual cycle.

As long as a girl takes the pill she won't get her period, so every three weeks they stop taking them for a week to have their period. (If they don't I'm pretty sure it f*cks their ovaries or something along those lines up)

It lets them choose when they want to be on and slows/stops the release of most female hormones

Source; Me and an ex had a huge chat about what contraception to use because no one likes rubber..

Don't ask how the implant works cause I don't have a clue (possibly stops producing eggs) I shall check with a lady friend next time I see her as she has one

Hope this helped clear a little up

[Tony Harrison]

I had a girlfriend with an implant but we used rubbers anyway.

I think the male contraceptive pill, when it arrives, will be great. And that'll really piss some women off, the fact that the guy will be able to call the shots. There'll be no more sperm-jacking antics and 'accidentally' getting pregnant.

[The_Zulu]

I think the male contraceptive pill, when it arrives, will be great.

Makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bullet proof jacket

[weirdoku]

Wall of text.

Mate she cooked for you, cleaned your kitchen, clearly wants your penis, what more do you want as a girlfriend?

[Tony Harrison]

Ha ha, yes! But no, I value being single and would only trade it in for a girl who's really special. She was cool and everything but not really 'my type'.

[HippY]

would only trade it in for a girl who's really special

So that is the reason why you are in thailand

[MadManMike]

That was an epic post, congratulations.

And I agree completely with your viewpoint. A lot of women do see it as a treat for the man, quite strange.

Well played on not being a total arsehole and just using her anyway, a lot of guys would have!

[Tony Harrison]

So that is the reason why you are in thailand

Well I've only really dated western girls over here, but in the last few months I've briefly dated three Asians, and this is the last one I'm telling you. It's a false assumption that they're all money-grabbers, and all three have insisted on splitting every bill at a restaurant etc, but they just have different priorities and needs, based in part on just a different culture. That's not to say some aren't really westernised and 'normal', but there seems to be a fair bit of drama. Often it comes down to jealousy and trust issues, which I usually have no time for, i.e. trust me or leave me, you decide and let me know what you want to do.

Mike - thanks! Yes, I'm not the kind to just use a woman like that. If anything she was kind of leading me on, in the hope I'd give her what she wanted, and then the sex would've been my reward (and, annoyingly, hers too somehow). I just have a real hang up on the whole sex as a bargaining chip thing. However, things could be worse - I could've got down to it with her and got her pregnant, and that'd be a monumentally high stack of chips right there.

[Mark W]

If the film (and indeed graphic novel of) The Watchmen has taught me anything, it's that knocking up some girl in the Far East doesn't have to be the end of the world assuming you can handle potential facial scars.

The "pay wall" as I call it.

This amused me.

[Tony Harrison]

Ha ha, I'll have to track that down Mark. Yeah now that's just the thing, I've heard some can get pretty nasty. Some friends were giving me shit, saying lock the kitchen knives away somewhere.

I once read that Cambodia had the highest rate for reported cases of jealous partners cutting their men's dicks off, followed by Thailand. Wouldn't surprise me. There are some really lovely girls here, but then there are lots who have been brought up to prioritise finding a man to provide for them, and then they guard that shit with a ton of jealousy and aggression. They get like the street dog defending it's territory. And yeah not really into that. You see plenty of older white guys pushing kids about in prams with their Thai wives, but f**k being stuck here for the rest of my life.

[Skoze]

If the film (and indeed graphic novel of) The Watchmen has taught me anything, it's that knocking up some girl in the Far East doesn't have to be the end of the world assuming you can handle potential facial scars.

I also remember that being pretty trigger-happy with your sawn-off was also kinda vital.

I'm so glad you're back in/on here Snaps.

Edited July 28, 2014 by Skoze

[Mark W]

I also remember that being pretty trigger-happy with your sawn-off was also kinda vital.

As Ian's mentioned, violence is the only language they understand, albeit in that particular instance it being a very, very short but quite focused piece of violence.

[Tony Harrison]

Thanks Skoze ; )

But yeah half the time women are f**ked up in general. I was in a cab with a British girl and a girl from the US, talking about who should pay for shit. I said well whoever asks the other out should pay, or you split. And so the US girl said who pays on the second date? I said well it depends - if I asked the girl out for the first date, I might wait and see if she likes me enough to ask me out for the second one. "Oooh that's so gamey..." says the girl. Yeah whatever. ("Gamey", like "rapey", these words women invent because, despite claiming to be assertive feminist 21st century independent women, they still can't take responsibility for themselves on nights out: "Oh but he said X and Y and suddenly we were back at his")

Anyway, few days later I get this message from the same girl, saying btw if you ever feel like asking my out, I will say yes, and maybe on the third date I will pay.

One of the downsides of western women is they're the most pampered people in the world, and so many of them have this sense of entitlement. And I don't see how it resolves against the whole feminist thing of taking initiative and not needing a man to make things happen for you. Seriously, the audacity: I'm supposed to complete the formality of asking her out, and then pay for several meals? When she's the one who's after me, why should I have to work hard for it? This is the same girl from the previous big post who wanted a man to help her out around the house in return for, as she put it, "cuddles". It's just a f**king power play, wanting to feel like she's valued, wanted and men will chase her. I mean, it's like a dog dropping a ball repeatedly at your feet and nudging it until you throw it.

Seems women only like equality when it suits them, they'll just pick and choose which bits they like. Or more likely, they just need to be in control.

Needless to say, by sending that message the girl reduced her chances of ever dating me to zero.

[MartMini]

This is what makes me laugh about the whole dating scene (or whatever you want to call it)

if you like someone, go for it. If they like you back, they're not going to use you.

Ive never had a one night stand, but i can see where your coming from. if people use each other for power play, fine be it, i just think its shit when they dont make it clear to begin with, i.e , when they lead each other on with.

[dann2707]

Anyway, few days later I get this message from the same girl, saying btw if you ever feel like asking my out, I will say yes, and maybe on the third date I will pay.

Are you sure she wasn't joking?! haha I've said that a few times to some girls in a completely jokey way!

I've been fairly lucky with the girls that i've dated as they've always wanted to split the bills in half etc. If one person pays for something the other will return the favour. My friend got into that habit of offering to pay for his gf all the time then she just accepted it and took it for granted every time. Shocking!

[Tony Harrison]

I know for sure that she meant it. Obviously she overestimated her chances. I haven't actually seen her since, but it's strange, because whenever we'd be out she'd have no problem trying to lure me away from other girls I was talking to. I guess she couldn't bring herself to make the move. Again, traditionally men do the asking out, but at another time this girl would be pressing for equality. I think that's my main gripe here.

And yes I've been fairly lucky. If I went on a first date and a girl didn't make the slightest move to get her money out when the bill arrived, or just expected me to pay, there'd be no second date, regardless of how hot she was. Too many girls are scoping out for a provider. And I have a story on that subject (women leeching money) which, somehow, ended up with me being physically attacked by two LA girls in an expensive hotel room. I didn't even get to nob the one of them that I wanted to. I'll write it out sometime.

EDIT: Needless to say they're not my friends anymore either ; )

[dann2707]

Let's have some lols as this thread is on page two.

Just got back from a tinder date, meet at a pub opposite my work. She seems really nice, well spoken, good manners and decent morals etc. We then decide to go and sit in my car, this then escalates to "shall we go find a multi storey car park where we won't be seen"

Find one down the road little did we realise the error of our ways.. All will be revealed.

So we get in the back, start exploring each others stuff, windows steaming up then I see something in the corner of my bastarding eye. f**king security guard whilst my bloody kegs are around my bloody ankles!! Bahhaah

He then taps on the glass, and I open the door slightly to greet with with the most reluctant hello I've ever done. He then goes "have you displayed your ticket" is this some innuendo lol. But basically he knows full well what's been going on, bursts into laughter and goes "how long you going to be?" I reply with "not long" biggest grin on my face Hahaha he then laughs and goes, oh alright and walks off!

She then grabs me back on the back seat and all is well haha. So f**king awkward though! We then drive down the storeys, both with the biggest grin on our faces, windows steamed up and drive past a group of four people in the car park. One or two of them I could tell knew exactly what was going on as he started smirking so much at me Hahahaha. Good evening though.

[ItsMatt]

hahaha thats grim dan

[dann2707]

Was quite funny afterwards haha grim at the time. Such a cliché thing to happen and we did laugh about it happening as we parked up haha

[Blake]

mush that's f**ked