err Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 how so? Push as hard as you can and follow through with a kidney?? Just conjured up the "tub girl" pic as soon as I read it for some reason. If you've never heard of tub girl, do not google it. Seriously. It's nasty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*gentlydoesit Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 Don't look.. if you hadnt said it I wouldn't have! Now I'm scared for life The skittles one made up for it though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikeperson45 Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 how so? Push as hard as you can and follow through with a kidney?? You should not joke about that. One time I was incredibly constipated, more so than you can possibly imagine. I sat and I sat, I pushed and I pushed and, after an agonizing and mentally exhausting twenty minutes, I erupted. The sound was horrible, and I'll never forget the sheer volume of toilet water that launched at me. I winced thinking about the liquid I had just ingested in such an undesirable manner, and then shrieked due to the arctic temperatures I had just been exposed to. Anyway, I stood up or at least tried to. Something felt wrong. Something was wrong. I quickly resumed my seated position for fear of worsening whatever situation I had fallen into. Something had grazed my inner thigh in a way that's never happened to me and, from what I know of my genetics, most likely never will. Obviously I feared looking down and not just seeing my trophy, but also the damage that required it's release. I was sure I was going to see a mess of intestines so I felt my body for any gaps but unfortunately my rib cages prevented a full examination. I braced myself and stood, an act that required what I 'm sure was the maximum capacity of my bravery. Before I reached the full standing position, I heard another plop and spun to find the source. A second, my thinner strand of feces had emerged, perched on top of the previous. I thought 'this can not be possible, there was only one plop originally' and as I looked at my thigh I saw the brown smear, relinquishing me of my recent fear and replacing it with an intense need to shower. So don't joke about that, might bring up some bad memories for people. Sorry it wasn't too detailed, I'm still at work. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 What? You know, that if someone (lets say, for example... Dan) mentions a girl, then a picture must be posted here Or something like that I cannot remember clearly, and I though you were referring to this unwritten rule of TF as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 It's a written rule. Now post the pics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 I already posted a pic so your argumento is invalid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 Yes, you posted a pic. We asked for pics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 Another one makes it a plural right. Seriously don't even know why she considers me haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 I'd do you both. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 She looks like a nice carer nice and caring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted May 22, 2014 Report Share Posted May 22, 2014 Bring her to my house. It's only down the road from where she livestl:dr I ate/drunk something that I wasn't man enough to consume, tried to release the plug and shat myself. Felt like a minger, had a shower. Done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 (edited) The missus seems to think we don't have common interests regarding daily activities chiefly because when she comes up with ideas on how to spend the day I'm not that interested. That's actually true, she's very much a person who likes to listen and look at things being done while I prefer to actually do them. So when she prefers to go to a concert, I prefer to sit in front of a piano and try to play something myself. Even when we go to a water park she's usually just sitting in the water and I'm swimming back and forth, diving wherever it's over 1ft deep, making use of every facility (alone obviously) and generally speaking trying to waste as much energy and have as much fun as possible. I can't even do the simple things with her like a picnic, I'd have to get REALLY stoned to sit down and not move for a few hours. I think motorsport and somewhat trials have raised the bar so high in terms of adrenaline and the rush I get that everything else seems boring as f**k. So when I hear about some performance / concert / demo / insect cooking class (well, that actually sounded fairly interesting) I'm just a bit meh. I totally understand why she feels the way she does. I do give in to some of her ideas to keep her happy but it's not working because she can see I'm not interested. She suggested I recommend some activities but my mind is a complete blank. I want to do something fun but my current hobbies (well, mostly motorsport) just make everything seem dull. Does anyone have any ideas? Currently we've got kayaking and a visit at the rope park on the agenda. We're going to hire a water bike tomorrow, I kind of like the idea of getting it to the middle of the lake and jumping out. Anyone? edit: I think the biggest problem is that 1-2 years ago I was just fine with doing anything so long as it was with her, now I want to do something interesting as well. Edited May 25, 2014 by Greetings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Exactly the same story as my girlfriend and I. Generally speaking either she is scared and uncomfortable having a tiny day out, or I go off on my own to have an adventure. I like being on my own though so we're both happy then. Do you live together? Helps us a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Mountain biking Alex! My missus used to come out on her old bike and just watch stuff then she gained more of a 'I'd like to try that' attitude. It can be as easy or difficult as you like, for as long as you like. I'd seriously recommend it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Sex. You're welcome. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Exactly the same story as my girlfriend and I. Generally speaking either she is scared and uncomfortable having a tiny day out, or I go off on my own to have an adventure. I like being on my own though so we're both happy then. Do you live together? Helps us a lot. We don't live together, that's probably the problem. An adventure is the right word - that's what I'm looking for. I'm also really happy alone but when I'm out, I like to do something fun. Mountain biking Alex! My missus used to come out on her old bike and just watch stuff then she gained more of a 'I'd like to try that' attitude. It can be as easy or difficult as you like, for as long as you like. I'd seriously recommend it. Need some proper terrain for that which we sadly don't have over here. I'm not sold on cycling, that said I will give it a try. There are some nice woods nearby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted May 28, 2014 Report Share Posted May 28, 2014 Pretty much just broke up with my girlfriend because she's not happy how serious things are i.e. Being together. Half bothered half not, just feels like a waste of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Eh? Isn't that the whole point of being in a relationship? Need more deets! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Apparently doesn't like the pressure of having to impress someone all the time. She also felt like I didn't like her enough?! She basically said she just doesn't want to be in a serious relationship. Women r all retards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Doesn't sound worth the hassle, move on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Word. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Its just I haven't liked a girl like I do her since my ex which was about a year and a half ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManxTrialSpaz Posted June 14, 2014 Report Share Posted June 14, 2014 (edited) I'll keep all of this to myself actually... Edited June 14, 2014 by ManxTrialSpaz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikeperson45 Posted June 14, 2014 Report Share Posted June 14, 2014 I read your post before you removed it so thought I'd throw in anyway. I defiantly think it's something worth trying again, it can lead to a healthier relationship. And it's normal for it to hurt after the first time and cleanliness is very important, particularly for you. Maybe bring a bucket of warm soapy water next time to make sure it doesn't get that messy again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.