Jake. Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Before you got with her did she say stuff like "I know you'll leave me one day and I dont want to have my heart broken again" and crap like that? Does she constantly seek your approval in everything she does to feel reassured you still love her? And does she seem over protective? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) She always told me if she cheated on me she would tell me so I know there wasn't. Why anyone would feel the need to clear that up just in case it ever happened is beyond me. You had fun while it lasted, turns out she was a retard - time to move on hombré. Oh and Joe, you're doing the right thing by just sitting it out. Been there, it's pretty much all you can do. Just let her know you're sticking around and try not to make too much of a big deal out of it - it's down to her to realise she's not awful, not you, so just give her some time to settle. Edited March 7, 2014 by Skoze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilf Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 ^^agreed. Got to wait for her to realised that she's not an awful person and she does deserve you, you're doing it right just keep going. You sound like a real man to me. Keep it up dude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 f**k a friend of hers. f**k a friend of hers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Sent that twice by mistake, but seeing as it is doubly important I don't want to edit it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Or you should do it twice?! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilf Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Two of her friends! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) I don't really know if I can be helped, more just need to vent a bit. Girlfriend rarely wants sex, no-where near as much as me anyway (or more to the point, not as much as she used to). See each other more or less every weekend, usually get some lovin' friday night, maybe saturday night if i'm lucky, 1000x nope by sunday but will then end up texting to say she's got the horn midweek - can't do much with that. Seems to just generally not be too bothered about affection in general really - loves a cuddle but it always has to be me to instigate anything more than that or it just won't happen. I think the problem is just that she's flat out at uni which leaves her absolutely exhausted, literally gets into bed and is asleep within 5 mins or so without fail, and spent all of last weekend here asleep. Tried to bring it up this morning after visiting for a couple of days, literally just got 'sorry but I don't always want to have sex with you' and that was kind of the end of it... Much awkwardness ensued. Think my next tactic is an experiment, going to do absolutely nothing to get anything started and see what happens (probably nothing) I dunno, i'm just venting as it's getting me down a fair bit. Have I been spoilt previously, am I wanting too much, or is it just a fact of life. Answers on a post card. Edited March 7, 2014 by Skoze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Treat her mean. Act like you don't want it, and as soon as she thinks you don't want it watch her jump up on it. If the above doesn't happen...Well let's not go there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Same thing happened with grace man. Turned out after a while the pill started lowering her libido. Changed it and all was well again!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Yea, pill is often to blame Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe O'Connor Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Before you got with her did she say stuff like "I know you'll leave me one day and I dont want to have my heart broken again" and crap like that? Does she constantly seek your approval in everything she does to feel reassured you still love her? And does she seem over protective? Nah she never said anything like that, but when it started getting close to becoming a relationship she did tell me all the stuff about her past and issues she has had. She was afraid that in telling me I would run away and wanted me to know before we dated because it would hurt her less me running off before we were dating. I never even considered leaving and it reassured her a lot. I told her that I would never start a relationship with her if I could see it ending and she was of the same mindset. She doesn't think I will leave her off my own will but thinks that stories from her past will scare me off. She doesn't seek my approval over everything, no, she has a lot of walls built up around herself and is quite individualistic to protect herself from being hurt. She opens up with everything to me though. She knows I love her, sometimes she cant feel it but she knows that I do. And she isn't overprotective, at times she is kind of the opposite and tries to convince me to leave her because she isn't good enough. Why anyone would feel the need to clear that up just in case it ever happened is beyond me. You had fun while it lasted, turns out she was a retard - time to move on hombré. Oh and Joe, you're doing the right thing by just sitting it out. Been there, it's pretty much all you can do. Just let her know you're sticking around and try not to make too much of a big deal out of it - it's down to her to realise she's not awful, not you, so just give her some time to settle. Thanks man, its good to know that I am on the right path here. She knows for sure that I am sticking around for the long run regardless of how stink she feels. I guess the one thing I do do is probably mention it a few more times than I should. When she feels bad she gets very quiet and its hard to get much out of her haha. But my current plan is to start going on more actual "dates" and outings instead of just hanging around the house chilling out. Should hopefully open her up a bit more... ^^agreed. Got to wait for her to realised that she's not an awful person and she does deserve you, you're doing it right just keep going. You sound like a real man to me. Keep it up dude. Thanks heaps! I would feel like a bit of a dickhead if I just up'ed and left because she was feeling bad about herself. Its pretty much what every other guy has done to her and its had a real bad effect on her. Thank you for your reassurance dude, means a lot that people think I am doing something right. I really do think that I am the guy that needs to be in her life right now. f**k a friend of hers. f**k a friend of hers. Hahahahaha. For a variety of reasons I shall not be doing that.... Appreciate the input though dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 okay, so lets state, guys that there are no girls interested in you You ask a lady out for a date, and she says yes. She pushes the date away for variety of reasons And your friends tell you that she has/had a girlfriend. What to do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 snip It comes with time I think. We've hit a similar pattern to be fair, it got better when we moved in but it's died off again. I've just sorta accepted it now to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 (edited) okay, so lets state, guys that there are no girls interested in you You ask a lady out for a date, and she says yes. She pushes the date away for variety of reasons And your friends tell you that she has/had a girlfriend. What to do?Chase other girls, wait to see if the date happens. Just don't hang around waiting for her hoping something may come of it. The fact she had a girlfriend is irrelevant. Bi girls are hot. Edited March 7, 2014 by Muel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 1/Chase other girls, wait to see if the date happens. Just don't hang around waiting for her hoping something may come of it. 2.The fact she had a girlfriend is irrelevant. Bi girls are hot. 1. sounds fair enough. if anyone would be interested in me. like literally. but yeah, there are no one like 2. well, if they are just lesbian, they can be hot, but they will not be you GF you know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Mentioning no names. There's a lot of people spouting advice about women here, who are currently struggling to get/keep a woman. Not that getting/keeping a woman is the end goal, but I thought I'd draw attention to the irony. I've spent a lot of time posting in here over the years. I'm lucky enough to have managed to punch well above my weight and end up with a wedding date this year, but not after going through all the wrong decisions recent people are going through, and more. I'm not trying to be 'holier than thou', I'm just reminding those with f**k all experience to keep their mouth shut. You're not helping. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted March 7, 2014 Report Share Posted March 7, 2014 Mentioning no names. There's a lot of people spouting advice about women here, who are currently struggling to get/keep a woman. Not that getting/keeping a woman is the end goal, but I thought I'd draw attention to the irony. I've spent a lot of time posting in here over the years. I'm lucky enough to have managed to punch well above my weight and end up with a wedding date this year, but not after going through all the wrong decisions recent people are going through, and more. I'm not trying to be 'holier than thou', I'm just reminding those with f**k all experience to keep their mouth shut. You're not helping. roger that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted March 8, 2014 Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 (edited) Mentioning no names. There's a lot of people spouting advice about women here, who are currently struggling to get/keep a woman. Not that getting/keeping a woman is the end goal, but I thought I'd draw attention to the irony. I've spent a lot of time posting in here over the years. I'm lucky enough to have managed to punch well above my weight and end up with a wedding date this year, but not after going through all the wrong decisions recent people are going through, and more. I'm not trying to be 'holier than thou', I'm just reminding those with f**k all experience to keep their mouth shut. You're not helping.That's not how forums work mate, mention names! If you don't it comes across as, "I've got a this point to make, but I'm not going to say who about because I want to avoid a discussion about it".The fact you posted that (almost) right after my post advising UKHippy to look for other girls too does suggest that you were aiming it slightly at me. I'm not being automatically defensive, but I genuinely can't see how it's bad advice? If the girl was crazy about him, she'd make time for him. In the mean time, why not look for someone else to date? I've turned down girls before in order to hold out for another one, and it has worked (once), but doesn't get you a lot of action... Edited March 8, 2014 by Muel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilf Posted March 8, 2014 Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 The fact you posted that (almost) right after my post advising UKHippy to look for other girls too does suggest that you were aiming it slightly at me. Yeah I thought this a little bit. I don't have alot of experience at all lets make that clear but I've seen a fair bit, thats usually why I don't say alot in here but Joe O'Connor seemed to like my advice? I don't usually talk about something/join in a conversation when its something I feel I don't know enough about. Sometimes its just nice to be reassured by others that what you're doing is right and to keep going, I know what its like to be in his position and I greatly appreciated any advice I got good or bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 8, 2014 Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 That's not how forums work mate, mention names! If you don't it comes across as, "I've got a this point to make, but I'm not going to say who about because I want to avoid a discussion about it". The fact you posted that (almost) right after my post advising UKHippy to look for other girls too does suggest that you were aiming it slightly at me. I'm not being automatically defensive, but I genuinely can't see how it's bad advice? If the girl was crazy about him, she'd make time for him. In the mean time, why not look for someone else to date? I've turned down girls before in order to hold out for another one, and it has worked (once), but doesn't get you a lot of action... Have you got a successful, long term, relationship? Yes. So why do you think I was aiming a comment about people who don't have successful, long term, relationships at you? Don't be so paranoid The main culprit has already acknowledged that it was mainly about him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilf Posted March 8, 2014 Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 So it was either me or UKHippy... Might aswell name and shame. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted March 8, 2014 Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 He has, it was UKHippY, keep up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted March 8, 2014 Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 He has, it was UKHippY, keep up. sorry I try not to give any advises as the creator of how get in contact with girls thread and the guy whose only "chance" turned out to be lesbian+it turned out is a dick IRL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted March 8, 2014 Report Share Posted March 8, 2014 Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Ukhippy, stop trying so fricking hard. Have patience and the bitches will come 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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