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Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread


Has anyone seen my shoe?

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It's not going to be as obvious as that! It's more of a courteous, thank you for everything, it's been great knowing you phone call. Not a f**k you and your daughter phone call. More of paying the respect to him that he's done to me for the past 19 months.

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She's actually going around telling people that she dumped me?! Completely covering up the fact about what she did? As if she's the one who had control of it all?

I don't mean to make it worse for you, but she did have control, she chose to go on a break, and then chose to kiss someone and told you, knowing full well how that would turn out. She essentially did dump you, but got you to be the bad guy and break it off.

She orchestrated the whole thing start to finish (and everyone predicted it...), if that's not having control of it all, I don't know what is!

As for ringing her dad, just don't bother, it's not worth bothering. She could have told him that you were sleeping around and beat her, who do you think he's going to believe? More to the point, do you think he'll give a f**k why his daughter broke up with anyone? I'm quite sure she's had and will have break ups again.

Sorry to put it all so bluntly, but sometimes it's needed.

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I don't mean to make it worse for you, but she did have control, she chose to go on a break, and then chose to kiss someone and told you, knowing full well how that would turn out. She essentially did dump you, but got you to be the bad guy and break it off.

She orchestrated the whole thing start to finish (and everyone predicted it...), if that's not having control of it all, I don't know what is!

You make it sound like she had Dan by the bollocks the whole time haha.

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She didn't want to end it. When we had that 4 hour chat that night at hers I kept saying to her are you breaking up with me? Is this your way of breaking up with me? and she was completely adamant that is not what she wanted at all.

Bitches be crazy though..

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She didn't want to end it. When we had that 4 hour chat that night at hers I kept saying to her are you breaking up with me? Is this your way of breaking up with me? and she was completely adamant that is not what she wanted at all.

Bitches be crazy though..

Going on a break and then making a situation where she didn't have to be the one to say it, is a cowards way of dumping someone (regardless of what she said). Going round saying she's the one who did do the dumping is her way of saving face.

Hard to see when you're the one in the situation, but that's what happened. The break just gave her a weeks grace (no pun intended) to change her mind incase she felt breaking up was the wrong decision, the decision was already made though.

Folk just don't like being bad cop.

Edited by Jolfa
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She didn't want to end it.

She did.

I kept saying to her are you breaking up with me?

She was.

Is this your way of breaking up with me?

It was.

She was completely adamant that is not what she wanted at all.

She lied.

Because:

Bitches be crazy

You're not that fussed, you're on Tinder. Either cry or f**k about, but doing both is not ideal for anyone involved.

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WHEN WILL MY LIFE BEGIN

Totally see your point though and yeah, looks like I majorly got f**ked over.

Ended up talking about it now which isn't great haha.

I'm not fussed about her at all like you say, definitely a lesson learned over time.

I just don't want to turn into one of those angry guys who hate women because he got screwed over once kind of thing. There are some nice people out there surely haha

Edited by dann2707
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You'll just play things differently next time, that's all.

I had a very similar relationship when I was 18 / 19 mate, everyone gave me this advice and said open your eyes etc... At the time I thought they were all wrong...

Looking back now I think I was a complete mug and have never handled a relationship in the same way again. You toughen up and learn to "control" the girl differently - and I don't mean control as in being a b*****d or physically controlling her, you just learn ways to make things go in your favour whilst still being a nice guy.

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You'll just play things differently next time, that's all.

I had a very similar relationship when I was 18 / 19 mate, everyone gave me this advice and said open your eyes etc... At the time I thought they were all wrong...

Looking back now I think I was a complete mug and have never handled a relationship in the same way again. You toughen up and learn to "control" the girl differently - and I don't mean control as in being a b*****d or physically controlling her, you just learn ways to make things go in your favour whilst still being a nice guy.

Exactly this, I think everyone had roughtly the same relationship at roughly the same age :P

It'll cripple you when you realise there was more to that conversation with the other guy, should probably get that out of your system too :P

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f**k off with that Jolfa haha!! She always told me if she cheated on me she would tell me so I know there wasn't. He looks like a foot I know exactly her sort of type. Also he did loads of drugs and that really pissed her off too. Honestly if she came out with all that she would tell me if she was attracted or felt tempted by him. And I did ask her.

Onwards and upwards though aye!! Been talking to this girl on whatsapp all yesterday and today and think she really likes me so should be meeting up soon!!

One thing I do regret is, the last week i've bonded SO much more with my Uni course mates as I feel like we can have a laugh more, go out more etc not having to worry, but yeah the only thing I don't like about it is its final year now, theres like 2 months left of uni, work shit is getting serious and this happens now. Why couldn't it have been this time last year.

Anyway, enough of this. Lets all smile and have a laugh haha

Its out of my system now :)

Edited by dann2707
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You sure you want to go straight back to meeting up with a girl? Just make sure you don't go in there and explode with tears about it all. Seems a little early to me but, I don't have much experience with this stuff.

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Regarding those calls to the family, don't bother. I was tempted to do the same when I broke up with my ex but never did, and I'm glad I didn't. I sent her sister a facebook message the other day saying I hope that the pug was alright though haha.

Feel like I've finally properly got over her, not sure what I want now. Time will tell I guess (Y)

But yeah from Graces point of view I can definitely see why she would say she broke up with you, although she never officially did. She was the one that cut the main cord, and you cut the safety cord. ;)

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Hey dudes, for once I am actually able to post in this section....

So my girlfriend and I have been together for around 5 months (That's the total of "officially" and "pretty much just not official") and we have both laid out the love card on each other and all that jazz... There is no doubt in my mind that I am in love with her, shes amazing, I love everything about her etc etc blah blah blah, Ill spare you the details as to why.

I knew coming into this relationship knowing it wouldn't be the easiest. She has had a crappy past. She was taken away from her drug addicted parents in America at the age of 12 by family and brought to New Zealand and bounced around foster homes for 7 years. Has had issues with depression and booze as a result, as well as self worth issues. All that you could imagine from someone in her position.

I am facing issues right now because she feels so bad about herself because she feels like she is worthless and doesn't deserve me, that I deserve someone better and that she treats me poorly. When in all truth she is amazing. I'm the sort of person where I am stoked just to sit next to her and be able to be with her. She does so much more for me than she realizes...

I have had such a solid male backing, from a real supportive dad to a poppa who remained married to his wife who was in a wheelchair for 49 years. As a result I show her so much respect and treat her as well as she can be and as well as I can afford to but because she has been mistreated by so many guys in the past she has said to me that she doesn't care how she is treated. She doesn't think she deserves to be looked after well and wouldn't mind if I treated her poorly...

So pretty much my point to posting here is this...

I am afraid that one day she will feel so low about herself that she will run away from me. She has said that she has considered it before because she thinks she doesnt deserve me. How can I help her to understand that she is worth everything to me? How can I get her to realize that she does deserve someone that looks after her and wants to treat her properly?

Its pretty hard to have her beating herself down so much and telling me to "escape while I still can". Has anyone else had experience with a girl with very little self worth or borderline depression?

For now all I know to do is show her the same love I always do and tell her I ain't going nowhere. Because I am willing to stick through this and ride it out but I need some help on how I can make her understand she is good enough.

Thanks people,

Joe

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