Blake Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Sounds like shit to me, she either needs to miss you and deal with it or stay with you and deal with it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 She said she wanted to go on a break for a week as she thinks she's just too used to our relationship, and too used to how well I treat her and takes me for granted and by not talking for a week she would see that. I told her I don't do breaks, as I couldn't possibly get with her again not knowing what she might have done in that week. Tears me into pieces just thinking about it. I can sort of understand where she's coming from. Some people need a break and although it's difficult to gauge whether this will benefit you two or completely ruin the relationship, surely it's worth a try? Obviously, she could be using that argument as a way to ease the blow for the both of you, but more for her in my opinion. After a week of "separation" it's going to be much easier for her to say goodbye but it could also make her realize how important you are to her. So it could really go both ways and saying you don't do breaks is not helpful. I had similar worries when we got together with my current gf, on one side I was happy to be in a relationship but also worried about not being single anymore. Got used to it, but what really helped was talking to her and agreeing that if we ever get bored of each other we would try a sort of separation first and try to deal with the fallout after getting back together. So you might be trading one problem for a completely different one but if you can't cope with the one you've got, perhaps you'll cope with what's to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake. Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 When I was with lily she'd suggest a break now and again even when we were on decent terms and I'd get pretty worried/scared but she seemed cool about it, and when it happened to be me suggesting it she broke into tears and would not stop crying haha. That week long break turned into never seeing her again though So to me if you need a break you're in serious trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thanks guys appreciate the posts as always. It honestly is like she doesn't know what she wants, and after re-playing the phone calls over and over it is exactly just like that. She keeps saying she wants to be with me around 80% to 20% but the small percentage is what's worrying her a lot. I keep telling her she's over thinking things. I blame it on her coming off the pill a few months ago and her body adjusting as similar things happened before when she was on it, felt really insecure and for example we went to my friends birthday and she went f**king crazy at me because one of my friends didn't hold eye contact with her when talking. This was a year ago and changing to a different pill completely changed this attitude, from may onwards till now it was so much better. I reallllly don't want to break up with her, but if i'm being messed around like this I think overtime the negativity of being messed will probably outweigh all the amazing positives of being together. Ha just been looking back a few pages and looking at the snapchat compilation I made and how much I was saying we got along. The worst thing is, this week i'm off Uni so don't have as many things to take my mind off it with Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) My advice to all men. The best reply is no reply. Woman talks to you, you think strange things (mainly because of your penis) and your responses go down hill. If you want them to work for you, you have just got to stay clear headed and illusive. It worked for me, I was messing my head up, spending days running in circles about what things meant etc etc. Just stuck my head down, kept contact to a minimum then made a phone call. Which literally went... "Hey pickle, how are you doing? (Pause and listen to her moan about work, public transport etc etc) I'd really like to see you, I have a couple of things I want to talk to you about and it sounds like you need a pick me up. (Women are always sad about SOMETHING dramatically out of proportion. This is also a nice thoughtful sweetner before you go for the commitment) Let me know where you want to go and what time I need to be there." Bang, you have got your date, she knows you want to talk to her, she thinks you have a life that doesn't revolve around her and you sound like a man with a plan who knows what they want. No woman will say no over the phone, but they can continue to be illusive over text. It is a bit like selling a car, take them for a test drive, value their part exchange and decide what benefits you can have. Build need, create desire, ask for business. Done. Edited February 24, 2014 by Pashley26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I just had to swallow a little bit of sick. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I just had to swallow a little bit of sick. Me too. Shit works though, I just don't know how women are able to make you forget things you learnt when you were 15. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Usually disagree with Jardo but what he said actually fits my experiences as well. The moment a girl realizes she's not in the centre of your attention, there's a high chance she'll want to get back there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 To Dann, sounds like she's become interested in another guy, doesn't trust herself around him, wants it both ways, doesn't know what she wants so she's giving you the runaround to see how she feels. Basically she's f**king you around, either f**k her off or tell her straight to stop being a nob head. Chances are it won't be the last time it happens if you do go back though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) She doesn't fancy another guy. Literally can't stress that enough, it may sound like I'm in denial but I'm not. We know each other quite well like the day we went out for a meal with friends and I was staring at someone accidently and she asked afterwards if I was thinking about so and so about them and it was literally word for word what I was thinking. I know it's not about another guy or guys in general. It's the whole independence thing. I don't get this, we're supposed to be on a break yet she's just liked one of our photos together on fbook so it would obvs give me a notification. Edited February 24, 2014 by dann2707 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 No woman will say no over the phone... My mum said no to me this morning when I asked if she could do my laundry. I'm with Dan when he says he blames the pill, 2 previous ex gf both went on it and everything just spiralled down. That shit makes them nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) She doesn't fancy another guy. Literally can't stress that enough, it may sound like I'm in denial but I'm not. We know each other quite well like the day we went out for a meal with friends and I was staring at someone accidently and she asked afterwards if I was thinking about so and so about them and it was literally word for word what I was thinking. I know it's not about another guy or guys in general. It's the whole independence thing. I don't get this, we're supposed to be on a break yet she's just liked one of our photos together on fbook so it would obvs give me a notification. She can be as independent as she likes, with or without you, the only difference with you is that she can't get close to other guys like she wants to (and has said so), which given that you are not the paranoid type and have no issues with her being friendly with other guys suggests that there is more to it. Also it's happened so suddenly around the time she's been talking to another guy, I'd be inclined to disagree with you. Although I admit I am a bit paranoid like that... And she's dicking you about like I said, keeping you at arms length, saying one thing doing the other. Although again, contreceptives make women f**king mental, I won't let the missus get the implant for that reason Edited February 24, 2014 by Jolfa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) She doesn't fancy another guy. Literally can't stress that enough, it may sound like I'm in denial but I'm not. We know each other quite well like the day we went out for a meal with friends and I was staring at someone accidently and she asked afterwards if I was thinking about so and so about them and it was literally word for word what I was thinking. I know it's not about another guy or guys in general. It's the whole independence thing. I don't get this, we're supposed to be on a break yet she's just liked one of our photos together on fbook so it would obvs give me a notification.I still like my ex girlfriend. Staying friends with exes/people you aren't "with" is ok if you are in your 20's and mentally stable. We are still friends on Facebook, I even saw her in town the other night and it was fine. Even though I broke her when I split up with her and basically told her I felt like I had to peruse someone else and that I just couldn't commit to her any more. Don't let her liking things on Facebook headf**k you, if it's what she is intending to do then don't let it effect you. See the positive in it, she is basically telling you she is thinking about you. Now is the time to play your cards, and cut contact until YOU are ready. If she truly doesn't want someone else, she will still be there tomorrow, next week, etc etc. Edited February 24, 2014 by Pashley26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamKidney Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I won't let the missus get the implant for that reason Mine is on the implant. Its good, but f**k me her mood changes more often than I breathe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 It was kinda difficult that I did not had any girlfriend for a year or any intimate contact with any girl for like half a year... But this thread makes it lot easier to bear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake. Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 Women are definitely a pain in the arse at times, but they can also be the best thing ever existed also. Just find one that has the right mix Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HippY Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I had her.... I am sitting here at my desk with an xbox, ps3, 2 pc-s. I must do something about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) Women are definitely a pain in the arse at times, but they can also be the best thing ever existed also. Just find one that has the right mix That'll be like trying to find lord Lucan riding Shergar through the pearly gates of Atlantis Edited February 24, 2014 by bing 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake. Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I'm laying in bed with 2 bikes, ps3, laptop and lots of bike spares and skim boards laying about. Don't let what you enjoy get in the way of mates and girls, my mate is mega into gaming and his setup takes over a fair size of his room and it's pretty obvious he's into his gaming if you see it. He's the most confident guy in my friend group (and does pretty well with the ladies on a night out), just don't let it invade your life. He does go quiet for weeks at a time where he won't come out due to a new game but everyone still loves him haha.Oh and whenever I've had girls over they don't care at all about the bikes or the general mess of sports/pc equipment laying about, just make sure you can still walk round your room and get to a bed easy that's all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shercofray Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 That shit makes them nuts. So so true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted February 25, 2014 Report Share Posted February 25, 2014 (edited) And she's dicking you about like I said, keeping you at arms length, saying one thing doing the other. Seems like it. I'd interpret it this way: she's starting to realize that she can't give this relationship a proper break. This is good for Dan. But Dan in my opinion should be a man and last the whole week she wanted off without any contact. After that, he should call her and ask her out as if nothing had happened, discuss the feelings they both had through the past week and gauge where this is going. He shouldn't be too emotional about missing her, but not too distant either. Edited February 25, 2014 by Greetings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted February 25, 2014 Report Share Posted February 25, 2014 Seems like it. I'd interpret it this way: she's starting to realize that she can't give this relationship a proper break. This is good for Dan. But Dan in my opinion should be a man and last the whole week she wanted off without any contact. After that, he should call her and ask her out as if nothing had happened, discuss the feelings they both had through the past week and gauge where this is going. He shouldn't be too emotional about missing her, but not too distant either. Sure, who knows if she's doing it on purpose or if she's actually mental but it's a test to see if a) she can cope without you, and b ) to see if she can get what she wants out of you all of the time. Good on you for not just running straight back the moment she clicks her fingers though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 25, 2014 Report Share Posted February 25, 2014 Two days in and I feel f**king horrendous haha. Feels like I'm putting a front on to everyone, texting people etc. I think I'm more scared at if she's happier when we speak on Sunday. That shitd tear me apart I think. Anyway I don't want to be that guy who posts shit about how he's feeling all the time as I always looked down at people who do that so I'm just going to try and do things that take my mind off of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsMatt Posted February 25, 2014 Report Share Posted February 25, 2014 Two days in and I feel f**king horrendous haha. Feels like I'm putting a front on to everyone, texting people etc. I think I'm more scared at if she's happier when we speak on Sunday. That shitd tear me apart I think. Anyway I don't want to be that guy who posts shit about how he's feeling all the time as I always looked down at people who do that so I'm just going to try and do things that take my mind off of it. here of you want to inbox a 17 year old with an odd few girl situations, dan pal x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted February 25, 2014 Report Share Posted February 25, 2014 You'll be fine Dan, I promise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.