Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread

[MadManMike]

[Jake.]

Wow didn't actually think I'd get any replies to be honest haha!

Reassuring to know that some of you have had similar experiences, very true JD! That's exactly how I've felt the entire time, I don't want to jeopardise what I've done for her and her family so I've pretty much just cut it off entirely from my life. I really don't know what I'd do if I saw her or any of her family in the street though, I'd like to think we could exchange a friendly smile almost acknowledging what we had rather than giving spiteful looks and blanking each other.

It would be extremely hard for me if I did see my dog though, since he got so excited if I didn't see him for a day or so. So if he remembered me and tried to come to me that would be amazing, but would be so awkward at the same time. Would be crippling if he saw me and didn't even know who I was though.

This is my first real chance at thinking this over which is probably why I'm going on a fair bit, sorta laying thoughts all down on paper to see. I do a feel a lot better after last night though.

Megently, that sounds bang out of order. Maybe she expected you to see her and you never did so it just drifted?

Skoze that sounds pretty awkward, how do you manage to even talk to her after all this time? To me it feels like she's just died, other than the fact she still posts now and again on Facebook.

But yeah if any of you wanted to know, she never got with that guy from Skype as much to my surprise! She's with a guy called Jacob now (lol ironic).

I think it'll be a while before I can consider any serious relationships, and when I do I know exactly what I want now. I'll know how to handle things much better and to right them before I wrong, which in itself makes this relationship that little bit more meaningful and part of a growing curve I guess.

Do I get the award for the longest tf post then or has Ben Rowlands easily beat me on that?

Edited December 15, 2013 by JMCD

[williams]

That was a really good read, enjoyed reading that because I could somewhat see myself in it.

I think that you should sort of just stop thinking about her, I know that she probably means a lot to you, but still. It seems like she has moved on and shit.

I'm in that part now where I'm sort of struggling with my gf, when both of us started in different colleges and her friends got tired of her just being with me, we both started slowly moving apart... I hope we can sort this out, but being here now I can really feel the pain that you felt!

Hope you'll get over this all x

Edited December 14, 2013 by williams

[fruitbat]

That was quite a read, as others have said thats life, I guarantee in 10 years you'll look back at this and wonder what the hell you were doing...been there done that and I'm now happily married at 30.

Don't dwell on it, you are here to live your life, shit happens but you will still be here, enjoy life and the experiences it throws at you...and ride your bike!

[anzo]

Is this post available in audiobook?

[Little Yoshi]

Yeah been there lad. Sounds like most peoples first loves. Me and her are good mates now though. Take a good year or so of not alot of talking but we got there. Go down to see her and her family from time to time.

Time will make it better lad.

[Pashley26]

My first girlfriend was amazing.

Was with her for there years.

Moved away and split up with her, she cried I didn't.

Three weeks later she turned up at my work with a Boots carrier bag which had a packet of chocolate eclairs in it and a tub of hair gel.

She gave me the bag, told me she was sad and then left.

f**king mental case.

[Jake.]

Basically, you either ride over there now or I forward her that entire post

I genuinely wonder what would happen if she read it, she would probably realise the extent of what we've done together and start having regrets for the guy she's with. I don't want that. I want her to be happy and she seems to be happy to me at the moment, that's good enough for me.

That was a really good read, enjoyed reading that because I could somewhat see myself in it.

I think that you should sort of just stop thinking about her, I know that she probably means a lot to you, but still. It seems like she has moved on and shit.

I'm in that part now where I'm sort of struggling with my gf, when both of us started in different colleges and her friends got tired of her just being with me, we both started slowly moving apart... I hope we can sort this out, but being here now I can really feel the pain that you felt!

Hope you'll get over this all x

If you can see yourself in that then that's good dude! Enjoy it while it lasts, and I sure hope you stay happy with her for as long as possible. College times are hard but you learn to spend time apart, if worst comes to worst I'm here and I'm more than up for a chat about it.

It is hard to simply just forget about someone who played a massive role in your life, especially at a young age. Childhood memories stick with people forever, especially if they're good ones. I think it's better to look back and talk about what you've done rather than just letting go completely because then you'll be more at one with yourself in my opinion.

That was quite a read, as others have said thats life, I guarantee in 10 years you'll look back at this and wonder what the hell you were doing...been there done that and I'm now happily married at 30.

Don't dwell on it, you are here to live your life, shit happens but you will still be here, enjoy life and the experiences it throws at you...and ride your bike!

Haha I hope you enjoyed it! Speaking from the heart often results in interesting things.

Do you ever look back on your first love and compare her to the woman you're with now or not? Just curious, good to hear you're happily married dude. I'm not going to dwell on it, I just felt I had kept it in too long and had to get it out since I've not told anyone anything about it pretty much.

Haha that's another thing, she loved how outgoing I was and what I'd do on my bike but towards the end it'd cause arguments which sucks! But yeah ride your bike peeps

Is this post available in audiobook?

Hahaha I best get the story copyrighted quickly shall I

Yeah been there lad. Sounds like most peoples first loves. Me and her are good mates now though. Take a good year or so of not alot of talking but we got there. Go down to see her and her family from time to time.

Time will make it better lad.

Interesting. How did you manage to speak to her again after a year, and how did you speak to her family after a year also? Her family is quite the shouty type and I can only imagine her Dad chasing me down the road with a crowbar or something haha.

Cheers pal x

My first girlfriend was amazing.

Was with her for there years.

Moved away and split up with her, she cried I didn't.

Three weeks later she turned up at my work with a Boots carrier bag which had a packet of chocolate eclairs in it and a tub of hair gel.

She gave me the bag, told me she was sad and then left.

f**king mental case.

Wow. That's f**king weird dude that's almost laughable, I don't know what to say.

[williams]

If you can see yourself in that then that's good dude! Enjoy it while it lasts, and I sure hope you stay happy with her for as long as possible. College times are hard but you learn to spend time apart, if worst comes to worst I'm here and I'm more than up for a chat about it.

It is hard to simply just forget about someone who played a massive role in your life, especially at a young age. Childhood memories stick with people forever, especially if they're good ones. I think it's better to look back and talk about what you've done rather than just letting go completely because then you'll be more at one with yourself in my opinion.

Yeah I really learnt that from your post: Enjoy it while it lasts.

And yeah I guess that's abit of reality and growing up, you can't always spend time with eachother. And thank you Jake I appreciate it! I'm here for you aswell if you want to 'lighten up your heart' (think that's the saying I was looking after haha), even though I might not be your first option, I'm still there

Yeah I totally agree with that!

[trialsiain]

This is actually really sad especially the bit where you see the pic of pug

[Pashley26]

On the flip side of this as well, I remember when I was with Lou she had a dog. And I hated that dog for the four years I was with her, because it was her and her ex's dog.

On our first Christmas together I wasn't able to come and see her because the trains were down due to snow. So we agrred to spend it apart.

She spent her Christmas walking the dog with her ex boyfriend. Not cool.

The next time I did see her and the dog the dog ran up to the front door, saw me and sniffed me then walked off, and she said "I know mate, he's not your daddy is he."

I still remember that throw away comment, from four years ago. And it always upset me and really impacted on our relationship, I never got over it.

She would get constant texts and phone calls from her ex asking about that f**king dog. I have promised myself that if I ever see him I will break his face, because he ruined my relationship. Along with her shit attitude about it.

So it isn't all fun and games, having baggage from a relationship. I am sure she does feel the same way, and I am sure that when she spends time with the dog a piece of her is reminded of you.

It's shit mate. I feel for you.

Edited December 14, 2013 by Pashley26

[fruitbat]

Do you ever look back on your first love and compare her to the woman you're with now or not? Just curious, good to hear you're happily married dude. I'm not going to dwell on it, I just felt I had kept it in too long and had to get it out since I've not told anyone anything about it pretty much.

I can honestly say I have never compared my wife to my first girlfriend and never will, I now know she was just my first and it was a HUGE learning step in the journey we call life. When we split I was devastated, a close friend of mine at the time even said give it a year you will be well over her and I wouldn't believe it, swore blind he was wrong - so much so I set myself a reminder to see how I felt a year later to prove him wrong and I was way over her.....funniest part of it, she was then dating the close friend I earlier referred to and we'd been together 2 years (I think)

[dann2707]

Excellent read Jakey boy, actually really hit me in the feels this morning when I read it . Hope you're okay and sort everything out but probably time to move on .

[anzo]

Hahaha I best get the story copyrighted quickly shall I

No

[Jake.]

Yeah I really learnt that from your post: Enjoy it while it lasts.

And yeah I guess that's abit of reality and growing up, you can't always spend time with eachother. And thank you Jake I appreciate it! I'm here for you aswell if you want to 'lighten up your heart' (think that's the saying I was looking after haha), even though I might not be your first option, I'm still there

Yeah I totally agree with that!

If someone learnt from it then it's worthwhile to me dude, thanks William. We'll be having manly chats at radfest next year eh.

This is actually really sad especially the bit where you see the pic of pug

All part of growing up dude! At least it was a dog and not a kid...

On the flip side of this as well, I remember when I was with Lou she had a dog. And I hated that dog for the four years I was with her, because it was her and her ex's dog.

On our first Christmas together I wasn't able to come and see her because the trains were down due to snow. So we agrred to spend it apart.

She spent her Christmas walking the dog with her ex boyfriend. Not cool.

The next time I did see her and the dog the dog ran up to the front door, saw me and sniffed me then walked off, and she said "I know mate, he's not your daddy is he."

I still remember that throw away comment, from four years ago. And it always upset me and really impacted on our relationship, I never got over it.

She would get constant texts and phone calls from her ex asking about that f**king dog. I have promised myself that if I ever see him I will break his face, because he ruined my relationship. Along with her shit attitude about it.

So it isn't all fun and games, having baggage from a relationship. I am sure she does feel the same way, and I am sure that when she spends time with the dog a piece of her is reminded of you.

It's shit mate. I feel for you.

Wow, never thought of how the dog could impact her new boyfriend... Pretty interesting hearing it from the side of a guy who is basically in the same position as the new boyfriend in Lily's relationship now, that sucks to hear man. Especially with dogs who tend to remember whoever was with them a lot in their early ages.

I guess shit happens, move on, grow up is all there really is to it and with each experience you can learn from it and put that experience towards the next one to make it better. Goes with most things in life really, that saying reminds me of working on cars/bikes too. You find the cracks, fix them, even when fixed there will be marks of what's happened and it'll next be as strong as 100% unless you weld a f**king huge steel plate to it.

I can honestly say I have never compared my wife to my first girlfriend and never will, I now know she was just my first and it was a HUGE learning step in the journey we call life. When we split I was devastated, a close friend of mine at the time even said give it a year you will be well over her and I wouldn't believe it, swore blind he was wrong - so much so I set myself a reminder to see how I felt a year later to prove him wrong and I was way over her.....funniest part of it, she was then dating the close friend I earlier referred to and we'd been together 2 years (I think)

Good idea. Just set myself a reminder for next August hahaha.

Excellent read Jakey boy, actually really hit me in the feels this morning when I read it . Hope you're okay and sort everything out but probably time to move on .

Aww Dan, thanks dude! Definitely time to move on. Feel like I've dropped a massive weight of my shoulders now. I hope you and Grace stay happy for a longgg time, you and her do the best snapchats.

You've been a massive help you guys, genuinely feel way better now. Much hugs. It is pretty weird because my perception of girls have changed a tonne, I see a pretty girl now and I might think "Nice body" or whatever but I'm not attracted to anyone that easily anymore. I feel like even if I do find another person it'll take me a long time with them to even get to a relationship stage. Mainly due to the fact I don't want to be wasting my time, and I don't want to be wasting their time too. I see people get into a relationship and only lasting a few weeks or so, I genuinely don't see the point in month long relationships and it pisses me off when people do it unless for obvious reasons like cheating etc, but if you do something like that on a regular basis then you must not know what you want in someone or maybe even have low standards...

Discussion: Has anyone here found themselves in a relationship lasting less than a few months, if so, why did you break up?

[williams]

If someone learnt from it then it's worthwhile to me dude, thanks William. We'll be having manly chats at radfest next year eh.

Your post has been going to my mind alllllllll day, and I really learnt something from it. So since my relationship has been a bit bad since we started college, I took the chance tonight to 'fix' much of it and try to make a change. And that has already made it muchhhhh better, and from promises: It's going to be 10x better. Because I learnt that I should really start enjoying it all while it lasts, because in time someone of us might get tired and move on, and I really don't want that to happen. So basically.. Thank you Jake, I owe you!

And we definetely will mate, radfest IS going to be awesomeeee

[isitafox]

Radfest is gonna be some kind of gay hippy love in if you guys don't take a cold shower and sort your shit out!

[anzo]

Discussion: Has anyone here found themselves in a relationship lasting less than a few months, if so, why did you break up?

Yep, a number of times. Mostly because they were still seeing their ex, or as I was, only interested in the old fashioned act of smashing together ones genitals which is never a good basis for a relationship.

Only one of those relationships bothered be at the time, but looking back she was a complete bitch and I'm glad nothing progressed from it.

[dann2707]

I hope you and Grace stay happy for a longgg time, you and her do the best snapchats.

Thanks mate and hahaha i've got all the funny ones saved on my phone. Was thinking of making a small compilation of them and uploading to Youtube, got a hilarious one of her parping thrice hah

[bing]

Radfest is gonna be some kind of gay hippy love in if you guys don't take a cold shower and sort your shit out!

Haha. Typical miserable farmer Dave

[Luke Rainbird]

Radfest is some kind of gay hippy love in

[dann2707]

I hope you and Grace stay happy for a longgg time, you and her do the best snapchats.

Was thinking of making a small compilation of them and uploading to Youtube, got a hilarious one of her parping thrice hah

I did it. The last one is the best and completely unexpected haha, I was laughing about something on her face then she did that. 3rd vid is good in slow mo too haha.

Video actually makes me realise how much shit she puts up with me and also how annoying my laugh is when I really get going hahaha. Gotta have a laugh though...

[williams]

Hahaha I love that laugh Dan

[Jake.]

Brilliant haha she is pretty patient, I know I would have given you a good few slaps by now if I was her!

[dann2707]

She loves it reaaaaaally!