Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread

[Skoze]

you only live once.

NO MIKE, THIS IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.

[MadManMike]

[VAMPIRE V12]

She's probably asking on her netball forum "theres this thuuper hot guy who sometimes comes into the shop but I don't work much and he doesn't come in too often. He's so cute and talks so funny! He's the one hot guy I;lve seen around here for ages... Help!"

Or something.

''Oh and he rides this cool awesome trials bike and hops gaps and shi* brah!'' Just go for it man dive in it!

[bing]

man up and ask her. if she says no, theres always her circle of friends to dabble in

[omgnoseat]

Seems like you guys are all settled for christmas, had to browse through a couple of pages to find this!

Anyway, there is this girl I like(d). We met up a couple of months ago after not seeing or speaking to eachother for a while. Everything was good, having fun playing games and watching movies. I don't have any female friends so I just wanted to keep things friendly.

She messaged me one night at 5am that she had no place to stay after her friend had lost her keys, so I picked her up and dragged her to my house. I don't do one night stands or anything, and I have been single for a year, so it was pretty "special" to have a girl next to me in bed.

Being the gentleman that I am, I kept my hands to myself and tried not to touch her. As I grew tired I kind of lost discipline and stroked her belly and butt, but nothing major I guess
During the night she would often hold my hands (also before the stroking) and I didn't know what to think of it.
The next day we just spend the whole day in bed cuddeling, which I greatly enjoyed.

I tried to meet up, she said that she was busy, which she genuinly was at that moment. However, on one day all contact just broke. It was very obvious something had happend because we used to talk all the time. Saw some pictures of her and some dude on facebook, so it was pretty clear what happend.
Wished her a merry christmas today and I got exactly 1 word and 1 number back; "u 2".

Pretty damn pissed now. Got out of my bed 5-a-f**king-m for her. She always said that friendship should be a 2 sided thing, that she won't bother when someone only seeks contact when other people feel like it. Which is exactly what she's doing now.

Not really asking for any advice her, just needed to get it off my chest! I have unfollowed her from facebook to prevent any further emotional harm.

[Jake.]

I know it's pretty pathetic. But I get jealous seeing my fiancée having fun with other guys... I want her to have guy mates but at the same time I can't stand the thought that she's having fun with another guy, arghhh. I don't know if this is normal or not haha. She's quite open with her 'I love you' comments on Facebook too which doesn't help, and our relationship got pretty damaged over one guy when I took her messages to him pretty seriously. She's decided that she's not speaking to him anymore as we seem to have an argument every time he's brought up (even though she's never done anything with him, I just felt like the messages were a bit too overboard for just 'good mates' I won't go further as a lot of shit happened between us and if anyone I know in person reads this and she finds out then things between us could get even more depressing), she's said that she stopped talking to him completely but doesn't let me look at her messages anymore (she gave me her password in the past and said I could go through her stuff and said she had nothing to hide) so I can't tell for sure but I try to trust her on the matter. I asked if she would block him, as she's decided not to talk to him anymore but she said no as it would hurt his feelings... I for some reason get really irritated that he's liking her photos and statuses all the time...

Sorry for going on, it's been going through my head constantly for the last month or so, I've lost trust for a few good mates and left a 'friendship group' and I can't tell if I'm being a willy and not allowing myself to let her be herself with other guys, or if it's normal behaviour in a relationship?

I might have to add that I don't speak to girls anymore (I never did really since I've been with her) because I have no interest in them, most of my mates are guys, and I only ever seem to talk to other trials riders on Facebook and I don't want to upset my fiancée at all. And that whenever we bring the situation up, she says that I just need to trust her (which I do, just don't trust guys out there).

I'm getting to the point where I wish Facebook didn't exist as it has caused so many f**king problems.

I'd delete it right now if I didn't use it to organise rides and talk about trials with people. Deleted 800 the other day so I'm now at 20 odd...

Opinions would be greatly appreciated, and if this didn't go beyond this thread it would be appreciated even more.

[Tom Booth]

Sounds to me like you need to evaluate your own shit first if she gave you her password and you actually used it to check on her. If she's that confident to give you the option of roaming through her messages then it'd be pretty clear in my mind you've got an issue with jealousy.

Think the other thing going off here is your 17? I imagine your fiance is of a similar age?

[JD™]

Yea, if you feel the need to look through her messages then you flat out shouldn't be engaged, in my humble opinion.

[Tony Harrison]

Being the gentleman that I am, I kept my hands to myself and tried not to touch her. As I grew tired I kind of lost discipline and stroked her belly and butt, but nothing major I guess

During the night she would often hold my hands (also before the stroking) and I didn't know what to think of it.

The next day we just spend the whole day in bed cuddeling, which I greatly enjoyed.

It may be that she thinks you're not interested. Because trust me, if a girl is happy with you doing all that stuff, then she probably likes you, but she'll want you to put it all on the line and make a move. Never mind being disciplined or whatever, or not wanting a one-night stand. If you really like each other maybe it would lead to more.

I'm sure a lot of us have been there. I've stayed with a girl in her bed, we've been a bit overfamiliar with each and not crossed the line, and then the next day I've kicked myself. It's easy for the moment to be over very quick and it's hard to get it back, particularly if a girl has written you off in your mind.

However, one should not beat oneself up about these things. Put it down to experience and next time maybe push it a bit. It's not like you have to go all the way, but if you cross the line a bit then it's less likely she's going to just disappear.

PS LOL at us lot on here on Christmas Day. I've just finished Skyping with my girl, so now I'm going to go and eat some bacon. Happy xmas f'cktards.

[Jake.]

Hmm good point, yeah we're both 17 nearly 18. I only checked once because I knew she was talking to this one guy, and when I did look it wasn't pleasant stuff for me to read. And ever since I've had a little bit of an issue with other guys (guys I don't know), if it's someone I know I'm completely fine with her say going to their house or something but when it's someone I don't that's when I get sorta paranoid. It's really pissing me off that I'm like this. She reads through mine (I have no password on my phone, she's now changed all hers and her phone password so even if I wanted to look I couldn't) but claims not to.

JD its weird but it's more of an sign of commitment our engagement, as I'm going to re propose when we actually come to marriage because I'm not ready for that shit.

Thanks for replying btw starting to relive the stress a bit, and merry Christmas

[Skoze]

JD its weird but it's more of an sign of commitment our engagement, as I'm going to re propose when we actually come to marriage because I'm not ready for that shit.

Say whuuuuut, surely just being in a relationship with someone is what you're aiming for there?

Anyway, back to business - i think it's natural for anyone to be a bit wtf about your missus getting overly matey with lads (speaking from experience i definitely should've given more of a shit about my ex doing that) but it's all relative. It does no-one any good to get so worked up over it, and if you actually trust her then you really shouldn't be worrying. I genuinely couldn't give less of a shit who Faye sees and when as we both know where we stand with regards to each other.

If you have a decent/ attractive girlfriend, people will always try it on from time to time. Guys see hot girls and want to dick them, it's the way the world works. It's just how you handle it that matters. She'll not take notice or tell them the score, and if they try it past a point, cross a line or try it when you're there then you can be a little more hands on which is great fun. Girls dig cavemen.

If it seems like she's coming on to them though, you've got some serious issues - but without us knowing the full story and what you're shitting yourself over when it comes to what she's saying/ doing we can all only speak hypothetically about it and give some very general advice, as opposed to something aimed squarely at your situation.

Anyway, it's dinner time.

[Jake.]

Thanks Matt that's great, feel much better and yeah I'm not 100 percent sure why I proposed haha, oh well life goes on. We saw it as a commitment thing more than actually getting married, I was 15 and a bit retarded at the time.

Anyway I think my 'problem' (more like over thinking) is cleared up now, but @ anyone else feel free to put your thoughts towards it if you want.

[shercofray]

I know it's pretty pathetic. But I get jealous seeing my fiancée having fun with other guys...

I was like that with my girlfriend at first, this lasted about 6 weeks when we were first together and then i realised i was being stupid and then didn't really care after that; but i think you need to re-asses the whole situation here, you are engaged and we are here talking about basic trust between each other. Look at the whole picture.

And Merry Christmas dude!

EDIT: I just re-read that and it sounds harsh, i imagine you're very happy together and i didn't mean to sound like a dick.

Edited December 25, 2012 by shercofray

[Jake.]

Haha yeah its just learning to trust again I guess, thanks man. It's been broken now and again from a couple of things both our faults, so it's just a case of building it back up.

It doesn't help that her best friend hates me, and that she seems to have a death wish against all my friends... -.-

Yeah we're happily together just little things niggling at me .

Edited December 25, 2012 by JMCD

[bing]

Haha yeah its just learning to trust again I guess, thanks man. It's been broken now and again from a couple of things both our faults, so it's just a case of building it back up. It doesn't help that her best friend hates me, and that she seems to have a death wish against all my friends... -.- Yeah we're happily together just little things niggling at me .

Thats women for you dude. I'm 31 now, and trust me, the mate thing doesnt change cos thats how birds are

[omgnoseat]

It may be that she thinks you're not interested. Because trust me, if a girl is happy with you doing all that stuff, then she probably likes you, but she'll want you to put it all on the line and make a move. Never mind being disciplined or whatever, or not wanting a one-night stand. If you really like each other maybe it would lead to more.

I'm sure a lot of us have been there. I've stayed with a girl in her bed, we've been a bit overfamiliar with each and not crossed the line, and then the next day I've kicked myself. It's easy for the moment to be over very quick and it's hard to get it back, particularly if a girl has written you off in your mind.

However, one should not beat oneself up about these things. Put it down to experience and next time maybe push it a bit. It's not like you have to go all the way, but if you cross the line a bit then it's less likely she's going to just disappear.

PS LOL at us lot on here on Christmas Day. I've just finished Skyping with my girl, so now I'm going to go and eat some bacon. Happy xmas f'cktards.

Well it does seems like she is "disappearing" now. I'm always the guy that tries his best to keep up friendships, but it never works the other way around. Just feels like people don't give a shit about the friendship. I just feel like I'm an "in between friend", who she can throw away now that she found someone else to hang out with. So yeah, don't feel like pushing anything atm.

[Tony Harrison]

The thing is though, you have to decide what you want. Some people when they get in a relationship just disappear, and you don't see them again until they finish with the other person. I have a couple of good male friends who've done that. They're ALWAYS with the girlfriend, until they break up.

But... if you wanted something to happen between you, beware of the situation outlined in the image below. I'm sure many of us have been there - I certainly have, and it's not much fun. Which is why I suggested next time that happens - if she seems 'keen' and you can see a future for you both - push it a bit.

With girls though it's f'cking annoying when they ignore you because there's a guy in their life, but when it all f'cks up they want you to be there for them, or if the boyfriend is away for a few weeks they suddenly want to be your friend. AVOID THAT SH'T.

[weirdoku]

Right. Most of the time I'm clueless at picking up hints from a girl. Such as this one time a girl was practically rubbing herself on me one night out clubbing and would not stop putting her face into my face. Then when the music stopped at the end of the night I turned 180 and went home. In my defense for that time I was pretty drunk and I just felt like dancing.

Anyway. This one girl I know, as far as I've heard, only calls me things like love, sweetie, dear, cutie pie etc etc. She always smiles at me too, like when she's walking towards me she has a big grin on her face, I don't think she's laughing at me. Also, I've been asked a few times by a few friends as to what I think of her. I think they meant it in the bf gf sort of way.

Now I do think she's very pretty, we get along when we're together and we're always nice to each other, make jokes, poke each other (no jokes please) and the thing where you sneak up behind each other and squeeze the sides of your waist.

Now do I ignore it or try to find out more but not directly from her? Or I'm just over thinking shit?

[Jake.]

Right. Most of the time I'm clueless at picking up hints from a girl. Such as this one time a girl was practically rubbing herself on me one night out clubbing and would not stop putting her face into my face. Then when the music stopped at the end of the night I turned 180 and went home. In my defense for that time I was pretty drunk and I just felt like dancing.

Anyway. This one girl I know, as far as I've heard, only calls me things like love, sweetie, dear, cutie pie etc etc. She always smiles at me too, like when she's walking towards me she has a big grin on her face, I don't think she's laughing at me. Also, I've been asked a few times by a few friends as to what I think of her. I think they meant it in the bf gf sort of way.

Now I do think she's very pretty, we get along when we're together and we're always nice to each other, make jokes, poke each other (no jokes please) and the thing where you sneak up behind each other and squeeze the sides of your waist.

Now do I ignore it or try to find out more but not directly from her? Or I'm just over thinking shit?

Sounds like a very good friendship to me, whether you want to make it go further or not is up to you? And her obviously... Do you? If you do want to take it further, I'd suggest trying to find out more but subtly. You're not over thinking

[Revolver]

Go on a date with her.

[weirdoku]

I forgot to say, I work with her!

Go on a date with her.

I did ask if she wanted to come have dinner with me once, but that was because I actually wanted to have Nandos and I didn't want to go on my own. She did say yes but she doesn't know I didn't meant it like a date. We didn't go in the end cos she had to go netball training, she wasn't lying. She normally goes on wednesdays but the day I asked it looked like it was going to rain and netball training would have been cancelled. But it didn't rain so no Nandos in the end.

Sounds like a very good friendship to me, whether you want to make it go further or not is up to you? And her obviously... Do you? If you do want to take it further, I'd suggest trying to find out more but subtly. You're not over thinking

Yeah I was thinking it probably is just a very good friendship. Her...? Yes. I'm just not sure if I should because we work together.

[Revolver]

Ask her more obviously then.

[Jake.]

Sounds like you think being in a relationship with a co-worker is bad, it's not. If you like her then go after her dude.

[weirdoku]

Sounds like you think being in a relationship with a co-worker is bad, it's not. If you like her then go after her dude.

Well, one guy that I work with married a girl that used to work there. There's already a couple that works there which can get a little odd when they argue.

Ask her more obviously then.

I don't think I can get anymore obvious than the last time, I pretty much said "Would you like to have dinner with me?"

[TROYston]

Pgfijgfihth, A ex who i messed about (but now were really good friends i would go as far as saying my best female mate) has always, since i messed her about, gone into town every weekend, and Thursday drinking with her little skanky skeng mates, this honestly doesn't bother me.

What fcuks me off sooooo much is her skanky skeng 'mates' offered/peer-pressured her into cocaine a few weekends back, after speaking to her she promised me she wouldn't doing it again.

Had a phone call this morning with her saying that she had taken some last night and needed some advice on a coke hangover, and just had a text off her she has had some tonight also before heading into town.

I have no idea what to do, i don't want to see my best mate fall down that path.

Also i think its the most vile thing hearing that a girl is on drugs. Grim shit.