Ben Swales Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Have you thought that maybe she did it for reasons other than not wanting to be your friend though? I don't normally post in here about my girl issues, but... when my ex broke up with me (almost exactly a year ago now that I think about it), I ended up deleting her and a bunch of her friends from my Facebook because seeing them cropping up in my feed and what have you was proving to be too painful a reminder. Might she have done it for that reason? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 The space will be helping her (and probably you, if you can put up with it being even harder for a while) to force herself into not thinking about you so much. It's an utter bitch but give it a shot now it's happened and see how things go. Yeah she's being a dick, there's no two ways about that, but try and find a silver lining in there somewhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) Have you thought that maybe she did it for reasons other than not wanting to be your friend though? I don't normally post in here about my girl issues, but... when my ex broke up with me (almost exactly a year ago now that I think about it), I ended up deleting her and a bunch of her friends from my Facebook because seeing them cropping up in my feed and what have you was proving to be too painful a reminder. Might she have done it for that reason? She knows some pretty good tricks on Facebook through me to get rid of people without actually un-friending them, and if that was the case there'd be no need for the text to let me know. She wanted a reaction and got one. Bet she wishes she'd just remembered that I don't really articulate this stuff to the people involved normally. In the interests of both sides of the story, I did just snap hard and rip into her about going backwards in life and compulsively taking the decisions that will lead to her self destruction, and that she's the most selfish person I know. So it's certainly not all one way, and I probably over-reacted pretty hard. EDIT: I know you're right Luke, I was just kinda always grabbing on to the fact that we'd be able to sort something. So right this moment it actually finally feels like we've broken up. So that's 4 lots of this feeling in 3 months, whoop! Edited March 14, 2012 by JD™ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Swales Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Fair do's, thought it might have been worth mentioning. Like Luke says, you can try and look at it positively - it might give you some space to come to terms with things without constantly 'seeing her' (if you know what I mean) and what she's doing. It'll be harder to begin with as you'll keep wondering what she's doing, who she's with, etc., but they don't say 'out of sight out of mind' for nothing, it'll probably make things easier eventually. I know unfriending my ex and her friends was a good move on my part - I regretted it for a few days and was constantly mind-f**king myself over what she might be doing and who with now I couldn't see it everyday, but once I'd got over that, again, like Luke said, the space and lack of constant reminders helped me to not think about her all the time and me to break away from all that and start to get over things. It's really shit, and probably will be for a while, but as long as you've got things and people to keep you busy, you can distract yourself from it at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Distractions, distance and a bit of hard work when you're tempted to wreck the progress from the above are all you need for now mate. If a trip to the far side of the country helps at all you're always welcome to come this way for a change of scene/faces though obviously it's a bit of a trek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 You're both right of course, and thanks This is my cue to start that whole 'moving on' shit that everyone's been banging on about. Not sure I can cram my head any further into my work, so I'll have to ride my bike more Definitely up for some west coast distraction if I can find the time, although I've got a couple of consecutive weekends in France coming up after this weekend so that should help do the trick as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Know hoe you're feeling mate! Me and Mel exchange one or two messages a day now, that's literally it. Weird how it's ended up like that after chatting to her more or less constantly for the past 4 years... Moving on is hard, but it's good. Just don't go f**king around or whatever you're not gonna get any real enjoyment from it in the emotional sense (i know you're like me when it comes to that stuff) just chill, do cool things, branch out, chat to new people, it'll all work out. In Skoze news, the sombrero was definitely a good "sorry for being a dickhead" present and things are actually going really well with the new interest. She's keeping a smile on my face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialsmax04 Posted March 18, 2012 Report Share Posted March 18, 2012 Feel like a dick for writing this. But as some of you may or may not know, my girlfriend and I of 4 years split up in October. Recently its been really tough for me since she has properly moved on, pretty much seeing this lad. I felt I needed closure between us. So last week I wrote her a letter (Soppy I know!) explaining my feelings, and in general really opening up to her. Also explained that I was happy for her and the new chap (Because I love her, I want her to be happy). She never really said much about it. We talked over Facebook (Although we live in rooms next door to each other), and she just explains to me that it will be getting better in time ect. And since ive been trying to make a real effort with her, just to be civil, and not be at each other's throats. For the past few days its been great. Now, when we where together, she was that girl, that you would take home to your rents. Really sweet, lovely girl, with good morals and personality (Hence why I fell in love with her). Since our break up, she has been adamant that all she wants is us to go our separate ways, and to leave each other well alone. Last night however I got f**ked up. I work weekends so am up early, so I need my sleep. Living in the room next door I here things though. Last night she came home (4am ish), with 3 others. One of which was her new lad. First I had music being played. Her door banging, then a load of bitching about me literally right outside my door. Followed by "Can I go In there and give him a smack?" from the new bloke. Why am I upset? She has been showing people my letter to her, and really f**ked up my feelings. That shit was personal. If she didnt want it, get rid of it. Not taunt me. I follow to find out, that last night this bloke was high on MDMA and a pothead. Im just really confused, and hurt basically. I don't understand why she is being like this? Its like she is finding my misery for the past 6 months funny. If she wants us to leave each other alone, why bring me back into things. She is really really against drugs also, having had bad family experiences ect. So im so confused as to why she is getting involved with this twat. Right now I'm just thinking f**k it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted March 18, 2012 Report Share Posted March 18, 2012 If it's any consolation, her being such a massive throbbing cock will help with the "getting over her" bit. Pint at the weekend to take care of the rest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted March 18, 2012 Report Share Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) Things Basically (and I've been there) you're trying much too hard to cling onto something that will never happen because she's an arsehole, you're making yourself look a twat and it is amusing to everyone but you. Most notably her. It's cringeworthy and I'm sure you're aware of it. The living in the next room (not somewhere I've been) is going to kill you, I don't know what to suggest there, but for goodness sake stop being a soppy b*****d, you may aswell start writing yourself letters telling yourself what a worthless gimp you are. As for the lad who was on drugs (which are bad m'kay), he is more fun than you, regardless of her opinion of drugs or how much of a tosser he is. All I can advise is to move the f*ck on because you're just going to continue hurting yourself. If it helps, read the above with a thick sugar coating Edited March 19, 2012 by Jolfa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 The living in the next room (not somewhere I've been) is going to kill you Ahh, I've been in this situation. Except the girls room was above mine, then her ex came one day and lets say that night I had to sleep with earphones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 (edited) Right now I'm just thinking f**k it! My ex is doing exactly the same thing, she's with a right fanny now. We've been chatting a lot and she's really not happy with him and he's struggling to get his head around the concept of matching up to me ('cos i'm the best boyfriend in the f**king world, seriously)and the fact we still talk, so i know that's all gonna be very short lived. What i will say though is stick to your guns - if it's not worked and she's acting like she is that's as good a reason as any to never go back there. It's what i'm doing, she can be my mate all she wants but i'm not interested in her like that and i know full well i'd never get the thought of her and this dickhead out of my mind for as long as i live, so not really worth it. It's a shame 'cos she really was special to me and we've got/ had an awful lot between us, but she chose to throw it all away by f**king him behind my back so she can sleep in the bed she's made. Edited March 19, 2012 by Skoze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 (edited) Right now I'm just thinking f**k it! Step 1. Realize she's actually a fanny, who is now dating someone or her level. Step 2. Make yourself realize that you're better off without a fanny in your life. Step 3. Note what word is replaced with by 'fanny' on TF. Step 4. Happiness. Edited March 19, 2012 by JT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Step 5. Seriously, drinks with Rainbird. ...and keep up this time 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Step 6, no matter what you're going through 24 + tour x Joel Bennett = smiles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Dude, you seriously need to get out of that house. Not in a "get out more meet new pusssaaayyyyy" way, but a "move the f**k out and sort your head out" way. Sounds like she's just a typical 19 year old girl at uni to me. She's not really a fanny, or a bitch, or a trollop, she's just having fun and drinking too much. Admittedly showing your letter around was a low blow, but writing it in the first place was. You broke up, she's moved on, just let her get on with it and do the same! How do you think newguy feels that her ex who lives in the room next to her is writing her love letters? I know you hate him anyway but to be honest, he sounds like 90% of my uni mates. A bit lairy, takes some drugs, does stupid stuff on a night out but ultimately, he enjoys his life and doesn't give a shit, whereas you don't, and do. Start enjoying uni life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialsmax04 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Its all cool. I knew I shouldn't have written all that shit in the first place to her. I was just kinda hoping that it may have been closure on us, and she could have seen where I was coming from on a few parts. There Is no "love letter" about it. Regarding the drugs, I'm bothered and I'm not at the same time. I dont give a shit what this guy does in all honesty. For all I know, apart from offering me a smack, he could be the nicest guy in the world, and like you say, just gets a bit lairy sometimes. I have mates that dabble, and even though I'm not a believer in the whole drug thing (Ok with the exception of a drink or three), because its not forced upon me, its non of my business, therefore I'm not bothered. I'm just shocked that she entertains the fact he does them, as previously, she wouldn't have gone near anyone like that. All this (like has been said), is super soppy I know. And for those of you who know me, you will know how much of a boring fart I am. Its just really taken its toll on me for the past 6 months. Pretty much ruining my first year. Hey ho. People change. Move on. Time for me to do the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Telling the girl I like, basically that tonight. It's me, so it can only go one way - sadness Although the last girl I told her we went out and is still my current record for long term relationships. Ugh see what tonight brings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Well she didn't say anything that bad, "im pretty surprised as you've never really given any signals at all before. We could go somewhere and see how it goes, no pressure, that ok? xx" Thats pretty weirddd reply :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Well she didn't say anything that bad, "im pretty surprised as you've never really given any signals at all before. We could go somewhere and see how it goes, no pressure, that ok? xx" Thats pretty weirddd reply :/ Sounds like a pretty successful reply to me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Yeah, its just the last bit seemed a bit dodgy, no pressure and all that. haha I'm so glad i didn't get shot down though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Sounds good to me too? Can't expect her to be froffing at the gash straight away, can you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolver Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Beats 'lets just be friends'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Yoshi Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Beats 'stay the f**k away from me.'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Over text :facepalm: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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