Luke Rainbird Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Doesn't matter. If you're having a good time hanging out, that's a winner. It doesn't have to be about getting her into bed in the slightest Typing that last sentence was really hard...! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Doesn't matter. If you're having a good time hanging out, that's a winner. It doesn't have to be about getting her into bed in the slightest Typing that last sentence was really hard...! It's not about gettin her into bed in the slightest, she may be off limits. If your a nice guy shell tell her mate your a nice guy,then you can just get her into bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialsmax04 Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 That is incredibly ironic, considering the conversation I had with her mate last night. Oh well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 So Leanne came round last night to pick up the rest of her stuff and generally have a bit of a chat. Not proud but I looked through her texts when I got a mo, with a view to putting my mind at ease that she was definitely abiding by our 'no rebound' agreement. Turns out that the night after we broke up, which is also a night we ended up spending together, she gave 2 guys her number and has been exchanging semi flirty texts. I know it's ultimately none of my business, but it still makes me feel like shit. Honestly wasn't expecting to find anything, just expected to feel like a dick for looking. I told her straight away that I felt bad for doing it and she just throws back in my face that I had a bit of an online flirting issue for a while when we were together - just a way of getting attention I wasn't getting. Doesn't seem to understand that whether I did that or not doesn't change the fact that it doesn't make me immune to seeing her moving on. The whole way through this breakup we've been talking over the fact it's basically just timing f**king us over - she feels she NEEDS to do uni, and I obviously have my shit keeping me here - so it was always kind of the point that we assumed (I thought) that we would be together again in a few years once we'd got our personal goals in order. Dunno what my point of writing all that is. It's none of my business anymore, but it would have been nice to know this whole 'no rebound' thing was complete bollocks - even though it doesn't change the fact that I totally wouldn't be up for one. TL;DR: Mugged off as usual! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 So Leanne came round last night to pick up the rest of her stuff and generally have a bit of a chat. Not proud but I looked through her texts when I got a mo, with a view to putting my mind at ease that she was definitely abiding by our 'no rebound' agreement. Turns out that the night after we broke up, which is also a night we ended up spending together, she gave 2 guys her number and has been exchanging semi flirty texts. I know it's ultimately none of my business, but it still makes me feel like shit. Honestly wasn't expecting to find anything, just expected to feel like a dick for looking. I told her straight away that I felt bad for doing it and she just throws back in my face that I had a bit of an online flirting issue for a while when we were together - just a way of getting attention I wasn't getting. Doesn't seem to understand that whether I did that or not doesn't change the fact that it doesn't make me immune to seeing her moving on. The whole way through this breakup we've been talking over the fact it's basically just timing f**king us over - she feels she NEEDS to do uni, and I obviously have my shit keeping me here - so it was always kind of the point that we assumed (I thought) that we would be together again in a few years once we'd got our personal goals in order. Dunno what my point of writing all that is. It's none of my business anymore, but it would have been nice to know this whole 'no rebound' thing was complete bollocks - even though it doesn't change the fact that I totally wouldn't be up for one. TL;DR: Mugged off as usual! absolutely no offence meant here dude, but if you are looking on her phone, you are bound to find summat you don`t like, which you did. trust me, ignorance is bliss. you are better off not knowing. i suspect the trust is completely gone now matey. you need a clean break,to sort you heed out man. ride your bike, drink some beer, have a laugh. worked for me after being a miserable git for 6 months Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 absolutely no offence meant here dude, but if you are looking on her phone, you are bound to find summat you don`t like, which you did. trust me, ignorance is bliss. you are better off not knowing. i suspect the trust is completely gone now matey. you need a clean break,to sort you heed out man. ride your bike, drink some beer, have a laugh. worked for me after being a miserable git for 6 months No offence taken, we're already split obviously so there's nothing that could screw it up more! Doing all of those activities this weekend, so all should be good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Why would two people who've broken up have a no rebound agreement? Or am I missing something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Why would two people who've broken up have a no rebound agreement? Or am I missing something? I'd guess that usually it would be purely down to respect. Ours was also because we both absolutely want to be together, it's just impossible right now in our lives. Or at least, she agreed when we were talking about it. Evidence seems to suggest I might have been a bit naive, what with it being less than 24 hours before she's accepting and giving numbers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 I think she might have just been saying what you wanted to hear to help you out. She probably lashed out at you because you'd uncovered her ploy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a2bcio8 Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 I think a no rebound agreement is perfectly reasonable. It's a noble consideration of the fact that the end of a relationship is not the end of feelings particularly if those feelings were deep. I can't really abide with the idea that it's okay to stop caring about somebodies feelings once there's no 'official' title between you but it seems that the tendency is otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 I agree, but one person is always getting more f**ked in a relationship than the other. One person will always be ready to move on faster, while I agree that it's a great idea, it's just not that easy to put into practice. And I know if me and my bird split up, and some other bird wanted some, she'd get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 It's also a way of dealing with things though, for example you've broke up and arent happy etc and seem to be quite a bit down, I'm not saying she's not upset but by speaking to someone new she's taking her mind off the bad things. Girls are like that they'll move on like nothing then realise what someone meant to them. I'm not saying that's the right thing to deal with it but gotta be better than being down in the dumps. Although I'd agree with the not looking thing, that's fine in a relationship but I'd say no not in one, it's given you another reason to feel down when you need to pick up. Sorry if I seem a but negative though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Ours was also because we both absolutely want to be together, it's just impossible right now in our lives. See this is where my views on relationships differ from most peoples because that sentence didn't make any sense to me really. If you still want to be together then you rearrange your lives to make that possible. But if that's the situation then I can kind of see why you made the arrangement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 I can see exactly where you're coming from mate, me and mel have the same agreement, and if anything's likely to change then we tell the other first so it's not like "LOL IM f**kING THEM NOW, SOZ" Speaking of which i had a pretty intense chat with her last night and made us both realise a few things. Completely agree with what Carl was saying about one person getting more f**ked over, that's definitely me right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 See this is where my views on relationships differ from most peoples because that sentence didn't make any sense to me really. If you still want to be together then you rearrange your lives to make that possible. But if that's the situation then I can kind of see why you made the arrangement. For us to be together now one of us has to give up the next most important thing in our life - for her it's training to be a teacher while living in her old town and for me it's the ability to run my business in the most effective way. Both are possible things to change, but if one of us does there will be a natural feeling of resentment. It's just not logistically possible - trust me when I say I've run through all the options. I understand why you'd find it difficult to comprehend that though, after the changes you made to be with your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Feel like a dick for posting this.. as generally i think ive got everything sussed. But im all of a sudden getting really down over the fact my ex has moved on, guess part of it is the fact we talk whenever shes having a shit day, and thats happened even for the month shes been in a relationship, but now she's not turning to me. I got with a girl last saturday(by chance), I was meant to be going for a meal with a girl i went out with before christmas tonight, but bailed because I feel like crap. I've sat in, and the whole night stuff keeps reminding me of my ex, and even though the fact I could go and sleep with something tidy tomorrow night I just don't want to. edit: just typed that out, and were still texting, happened to send a text whilst writing this out. invited me for a night out tonight as friends, im actually considering going despite the fact ive got to drive back at 6am for work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Just sounds like you were the one getting f**ked, as per usual the male that's involved. It'll pass, I know that's shit advice and it doesn't help. But I spent 8 months on my own after a break up, as in, I knew no one properly within maybe 150 miles. I went to work, I came home, I watched tv or played games, I slept, repeat, for 8 months. It's shit, but it'll end, normally when you least expect it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Just sounds like you were the one getting f**ked, as per usual the male that's involved. It'll pass, I know that's shit advice and it doesn't help. But I spent 8 months on my own after a break up, as in, I knew no one properly within maybe 150 miles. I went to work, I came home, I watched tv or played games, I slept, repeat, for 8 months. It's shit, but it'll end, normally when you least expect it too. Yea, see I spent 4 months largely ignoring her after the break up, just going out, meeting girls, having the odd date then moving on. then kinda realised on nye, she was one of the coolest girls i knew, so started making some effort,kinda flirting, arranging to meet up, then suddenly she gets a new fella(we were both seeing other people, he just suprised her with a holiday, but wanted a relationship). since then weve stayed good mates chat every day, but its doing 2 things: 1) messing with my head a little bit. 2) making the people im texting/seeing now, seem complete and utter bores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 You want what you can't have. It's nothing to do with the other people probably. Not a lot you can do, just funked, you'll either have to wait until whatever she's got going on ends, or you might meet someone who'll keep you interested and you'll get over her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 You want what you can't have. It's nothing to do with the other people probably. Not a lot you can do, just funked, you'll either have to wait until whatever she's got going on ends, or you might meet someone who'll keep you interested and you'll get over her. yea i know your right, and ive given the same advice out multiple times. just sucks when its me feeling crap about something and not some other poor hormonal sod. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Does the other lad know your texting her? Just think is she worth it at the end of the day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish-Finger-er Posted February 25, 2012 Report Share Posted February 25, 2012 its as friends, so i presume its cool with him, seen as hes still best mates with his ex. and no, its never ever worth it, but...what else you gunna do with your life other than get drunk and try to get into girls knickers that are a bit of a challenge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted February 25, 2012 Report Share Posted February 25, 2012 "Melania Cross is in a relationship with Tigran Smith" I am f**king devastated right now to be honest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 26, 2012 Report Share Posted February 26, 2012 "Melania Cross is in a relationship with Tigran Smith" I am f**king devastated right now to be honest. Sorry to hear that dude I don't know what else to say... Chin up man, I'm here for a chat if need be! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted February 26, 2012 Report Share Posted February 26, 2012 Cheers mate. Was chatting to JD about it last night, we've been having similar things go on with our respective relationships this whole time, and both have more or less ended up with the exact same thing happen on the "wait around and we'll have another go at it LOL JK" front. Just feel absolutely gutted. She admitted it's been going on quietly for a fair while (i've had my suspicions but she's always denied it) and from the way it all worked out, i don't think she'd have ever said anything unless her mate set them two as that "as a joke", then she had to come clean. I wouldn't mind so much if she'd just told me straight up when it first started, or if it wasn't with the kid in question - he's an absolute bellend. We always used to joke about him and how she said she felt sorry for anyone he got with (he refers to girls as bitches - seriously...) We had a chat about it last night and she had the cheek to get all pissy about the fact i was pretty cut up about it. Made it perfectly clear there's now no chance of there being an us again after he's had her, and she's been back-pedalling pretty f**king hard so i can only assume she's regretting her choice already. f**k her though, she's made her bed and she can lie in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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