MonsieurMonkey Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 But he doesn't like the situation, its not that he's rising to it, he doesn't want it to be the way it is. So he has to end it or say something. Playing hard to get won't fix the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 What? His relationship that clearly isn't working doesn't need him trying to play hard to get. It might work early on in a relationship, or to get a bird, but you need to grow the f**k up once you're in a relationship and actually talk about stuff. Not play mind games and see who wins. I was more giving him the best advice he will want to hear. My real advice would be to end a relationship that isn't working, there's no point playing games. And my advice is cliche but your "play hard to get" isn't. All advice on relationships is going to sound cliche or whatever because its all been given before and there's normally only 2 good answers if that. So it's not like we're gonna be coming up with ground breaking stuff here. Games happen the whole way through a relationship. Oh, and not just in a relationship. I win at games. As a side note, me and Leanne are on the verge of splitting up just one week into her new 3 year uni course (2nd stab at it...). I have no doubt that my 'mind games' will have us firing on all cylinders again in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Currently like mid confrontation over text, she says she loves me yet I'm not right for her? I said why aren't I right and she said she needs a boy that's gonna be a bitch to her. to be honest I'm a nice person I've always done whatever I could, longed my mates off for her and even once at a party she was drunk and cheated on me and I just let her off because I want her in my life yet if I cheated on her she's made it clear I'd be gone. At the end of the day I want to be with her and I've told her this but I don't want it to be like this, I just know my life would be shit without her. I was single for so long before I never really knew how good it was to be with someone and I don't wanna lose that. She also just said I'm too nice and perfect?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 I guess its just more a difference of opinion. I would rather have a relationship where a problem can't be dealt with instead of just leaving it. I'm not saying I don't play some level of mind games, but I wouldn't want to 'mind game' my way out of something I have a problem with, I'd rather talk about it. But like I said originally Lukes problem stems from over exposure more than anything probably and them getting bored with each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 F5 fo' reply! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Currently like mid confrontation over text, she says she loves me yet I'm not right for her? I said why aren't I right and she said she needs a boy that's gonna be a bitch to her. to be honest I'm a nice person I've always done whatever I could, longed my mates off for her and even once at a party she was drunk and cheated on me and I just let her off because I want her in my life yet if I cheated on her she's made it clear I'd be gone. At the end of the day I want to be with her and I've told her this but I don't want it to be like this, I just know my life would be shit without her. I was single for so long before I never really knew how good it was to be with someone and I don't wanna lose that. She also just said I'm too nice and perfect?! She's making it easier for herself to dump you - she can feel like the decent human being because she's given you a load of compliments. If she thought you were perfect she wouldn't be trying to finish it... She also probably wouldn't have cheated on you. Want my thoughts? Good. You've f**ked up by being too contactable all the time - distance makes the heart grow fonder, both literally and over text. Texting a gazillion times a day means you don't actually ever get any experiences to share at the end of the day, because you've pretty much said everything to each other about it at the time! How interesting can your life be if you've got time to text that much anyway?! I mean that in as least harsh way as I can, because I kind of mean that actually you probably do have interesting stuff going on which you're ignoring because you're too busy wondering what your next text should be rather than doing something worth texting about. You don't actually have to 'be a bitch' to 'be a bitch to her' - all you have to do is make her realise you can do stuff apart from each other. Sounds like a twat though. Also sounds like you're more scared of being alone than being without her... Been there, done that, felt silly when being alone wasn't as bad as I thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Some girls like a bad boy, you can't do anything about that. f**k her off now. You should have done it as soon as she cheated on you. Text her now and tell her to get f**ked. And even if she comes crawling back stand strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matthew62 Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 From a man who knows how to love a woman - tell that girl to get gone! If some girl told me she needed me to be a bitch to her then i'd want to be as far away as is possible because i could not be doing with that level of immaturity. I know you're a little un' and she's even younger, but she sounds like a very silly girl and needs quite a bit of time to mature. I don't like a lot of people as it is, but the majority of kids i meet at that age seem like egits. Unfortunately this is a prime age for girls to be at there most ridiculously annoying and stupid. When i was 16 i had basically the same situation arise (although she was my age and she didn't say she wanted me to be a bitch - she just axted like one because i didn't). I was a bit too forgiving and obliging until i snapped. I cleanly and politely said goodbye and that i wanted nothing more to do with her (not in an argumentative way). A week later she approached me in an overly friendly way to which i very clearly objected and removed her hands. I told her that was appropriate and that i didn't want any contact with her, and that the situation can't be manipulated to suit her feelings at that precise moment. There was a look of shock in her face when i asked her to walk away. And heck, what do you know a couple of days later and she couldn't be apologetic enough and as good as begged for a conversation with me. My point is, just be calm, clear and don't take any rubbish - you don't deserve it. Explain things to her frankly and let her put the pieces together and realise how silly she's been. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) Currently like mid confrontation over text, she says she loves me yet I'm not right for her? I said why aren't I right and she said she needs a boy that's gonna be a bitch to her. to be honest I'm a nice person I've always done whatever I could, longed my mates off for her and even once at a party she was drunk and cheated on me and I just let her off because I want her in my life yet if I cheated on her she's made it clear I'd be gone. At the end of the day I want to be with her and I've told her this but I don't want it to be like this, I just know my life would be shit without her. I was single for so long before I never really knew how good it was to be with someone and I don't wanna lose that. She also just said I'm too nice and perfect?! Just re-read, plus read the others comments. Ditch her. You're doing everything I did wrong with my ex (too nice, too contactable, waiting on her hand and foot, not being vocal enough about what you want, forgiving her for cheating etc). I forgave my ex for two similar incidents too. What a massive twat I was. Was never the same again, if anything she was even more in the driving seat of the relationship. Edited September 26, 2011 by Muel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casualjoe Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Lukas mate, stop textin her, go round to see her and f*ck her like she's a cheap nasty hoar. Then go and chill with your mates and forget about her for a while. Over a long time you will naturally become closer, time is what you have bags of my young friend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 So to summarise the last few lengthy replies, what you've done is given up any 'control' you had left by talking about it and now you're now getting dumped. What you should have done - For christ's sake, don't talk to her about it! Way to give up any 'control' you may have left! Try less hard. She sounds like a bellend anyway, you forgave her for cheating, it definitely would have happened again, because she knows she can get away with it. [shortened slightly, was a bit too harsh] Some girls like a bad boy, you can't do anything about that. I think the main point to note from this story (once again) is that no girl in the world likes respects a total pussy, which you can absolutely do something about! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 I don't see why you think voicing a problem means you're giving up control? And the last line is definitely wrong. I'm sure there's some women who like more effeminate males. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 I don't see why you think voicing a problem means you're giving up control? And the last line is definitely wrong. I'm sure there's some women who like more effeminate males. Because voicing a whiney opinion about how you don't like something rather than just doing something to change it, is just another way of expressing that you're a whiny bitch. In this instance it was the straw that broke the camels back. I'm sure there are bags of women who like their men to be pussies, but not one of them respects them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 That's so retarded, you need to be able to communicate for a relationship work. Not do something about it. That's the sort of thing a woman would do "I don't like that, I'm not going to say there's anything wrong I'm just going to see my arse and say "If you don't know then what's the point."" And I guess it depends what we mean by a pussy, if we mean someone who is more attentive/emotional then no you're definitely wrong. But if you mean someone that is just a wet piece of paper and runs around after their bird then I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Why on earth would you not do something about it?! I don't think you get this at all Saying "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" is not doing something about it - telling a woman "meh ok" rather than "no darling, please tell me what the matter is" if she was doing the same, is doing something about it. And by pussy, I mean the guy who will bend over backwards, put his life on hold, f*ck his mates off and do as he's told to please a woman. I have a mate like this, his relationships last 2 years usually until he realises that by doing all of the above he has a girl who doesn't respect him one bit and a bunch of 'mates' that are now total strangers because he never had any time for them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Okay yeah I get you now, by do something you mean do something with a bit of backbone and stand up for yourself more than anything. I agree that you have to do that, but sometimes having a conversation about the problem/s is the way to go. Or I think it is, when you both know where each other stand it can let you know what's really going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casualjoe Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 And Lukas, talking to new girls is very exciting and one of life's pleasures. But like anything it requires lots of practise to feel like you are being completely yourself on first encounters, everyone's in the same boat bud this is all supposed to be fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) Been said now, I was 4 replies too slow. Edited September 26, 2011 by Muel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Been said now, I was 4 replies too slow. What you were saying pre-edit wasn't at all what I was getting at either Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonsieurMonkey Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Conversations are hard on the internet lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Rainbird you make laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted September 26, 2011 Report Share Posted September 26, 2011 Aye. Slap them about, problem solved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Pretty weird night. ex sent me a pic if her in her underwear accidently. then just got proper chatting again. So out of the blue :/. loved the pic but i was like wtf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Pretty weird night. ex sent me a pic if her in her underwear accidently. then just got proper chatting again. So out of the blue :/. loved the pic but i was like wtf. Least accidental accident award goes to..! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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