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Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread


Has anyone seen my shoe?

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Hmm I don't know how to phrase this really but I'll give it a go! I've sorta run out of things to talk about with my girlfriend over text, were fine in person but she tonight said she hates it when I make crap conversation over text. We like always text each other apart from when I'm at college and she's at school, she doesn't really make much conversation so most of the weight is on my shoulders! Tonight she also said that we have nothing in common and it's like were loosing each other again, this has sort of happened before then we both had a holiday and when we was back its fine. I know this sounds like it's only something little but if we don't text each other were either bored or shell just speak to someone else.

I hope that's sort of came across as I hope just need a bit of advice really :/

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Hmm I don't know how to phrase this really but I'll give it a go! I've sorta run out of things to talk about with my girlfriend over text, were fine in person but she tonight said she hates it when I make crap conversation over text. We like always text each other apart from when I'm at college and she's at school, she doesn't really make much conversation so most of the weight is on my shoulders! Tonight she also said that we have nothing in common and it's like were loosing each other again, this has sort of happened before then we both had a holiday and when we was back its fine. I know this sounds like it's only something little but if we don't text each other were either bored or shell just speak to someone else.

I hope that's sort of came across as I hope just need a bit of advice really :/

You're texting too much, sometimes I'll text my girlfriend like 10 or so times in a day, then ring her at night and that'll be it. If you don't have conversation then you don't, talk about your day or whatever, see where it goes, me and my girlfriend have different interests, sometimes I'll talk to her about trials of physics or whatever. We both do Psychology courses and are very similar people, but we don't really have any real common interests. I dunno, not sure what to say because I'm not sure how old you are and I don't want to come across as really patronising.

how do i keep it casual, with a girl that wants more than casual?

Either end it or tell her that you don't want anything more than casual. If you just want casual what do you have to lose? Better to have no sex than gain a bunny boiling nutter.

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Show her this.

Luke's girlfriend, stop being such a f**king drama queen. You're 15, chill - stop making everything out to be some huge problem just because that's "how relationships are" or whatever bullshit justifies it in your head. All girls do it, just be one of the cool ones who chills and enjoys being happy.

As for the conversation thing, let her know she doesn't put enough effort in if you think that. Save the chat for evening or something so you save up the stories from your day. Or just get a wife like mine and chat all day every day about nothing for 4 years...

Oh and Kev, if you work it out please teach me.

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I see what you saying Monkey, I'm 16 in first year of college and she's 15 soon to be 16 in year 11. The thing is if we don't text it'll last like an hour then well go back to each other because were bored, we mainly text alot because we dont see each other as much as we used to as I now finish later and she has dancing most days so I mainly see her Tuesday then not at all until Friday and the weekend where as when I first met her I had left year 11 and would see her pretty much everyday after school. I know most people are gonna just look over this a be like oh well your only 15/16 but merhh.

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how do i keep it casual, with a girl that wants more than casual?

Yea tell her you're both still young and you are a free spirit etc.. this is why you're so cool. She will use all sorts of funny tricks to get you to change your mind. You just gotta keep knocking her back in a nice way every now and again.

I'm off for a go on my piece right now laugh.gif

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Either end it or tell her that you don't want anything more than casual. If you just want casual what do you have to lose? Better to have no sex than gain a bunny boiling nutter.

think its a step too late for that, been seeing, texting,stuck it in a girl i know a few times over the past 2 or 3 weeks, tonight she hit me with the "when are you changing your facebook status"

"to what?"

"no, your relationship status"

"i dont have one on there"

" well do you not think its about time you put one on there"

WOAH WOAH WOAH margaret, im only tapping you, im sure as hell not in a relationship with you, and i'm fairly sure you didnt want me to stick a relationship status of single on there did you.

why does everyone want commitment, and why do they only tell you after youve tapped them. I could chob this off now, and go back to my ex, on a purely sex and all you can eat buffet arrangement, but i know 2-3 weeks down the line, shed be asking what we are.

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I said to her when we first met it used to be all you making the conversation now it's just me and that she rarely does, she just said she's crap at it and I just said well so am I really if it's going like this. A few minutes ago she just put night I need to think and that's it really considering she always goes to bed dead on 1030

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I see what you saying Monkey, I'm 16 in first year of college and she's 15 soon to be 16 in year 11. The thing is if we don't text it'll last like an hour then well go back to each other because were bored, we mainly text alot because we dont see each other as much as we used to as I now finish later and she has dancing most days so I mainly see her Tuesday then not at all until Friday and the weekend where as when I first met her I had left year 11 and would see her pretty much everyday after school. I know most people are gonna just look over this a be like oh well your only 15/16 but merhh.

You are only 16, sometimes you do just grow apart, sometimes you do get bored of people, sometimes you aren't right for each other. You need to try to not text as much, if she texts you, wait 30 minutes, then text her back, drag the conversation out. Try to go a little more into depth, discuss things. I'm not really sure what else to say, it's hard if you don't see each other much, but if you're seeing each other 3-4 days a week that is plenty to begin with, me and my girlfriend are both students and we could easily see each other every day, but we want time apart. That's the thing, as you get older you realise that to make a relationship work you need your own space, it needs to be a bit of a treat seeing who your with instead of it becoming the norm.

Now I'm gonna give you the lame "I'm older than you so consider listening to me shit." Sometimes it just won't work, you'll find someone else, it f**king sucks, and it will suck for a few months, it'll probably suck really hard, but getting over that first relationship is a really good thing to learn. Not having stuff to talk about is normal, and you do go through highs and lows, but you both need to put effort in. Maybe try doing something special, see if she reacts well and things pick up, it's not even expensive, I bought 100 tea lights for like £3 from Tesco (2 packs of 50 for £1.50) and just covered my room in them for when my girlfriend came, super cheap, but super effective.

think its a step too late for that, been seeing, texting,stuck it in a girl i know a few times over the past 2 or 3 weeks, tonight she hit me with the "when are you changing your facebook status"

"to what?"

"no, your relationship status"

"i dont have one on there"

" well do you not think its about time you put one on there"

WOAH WOAH WOAH margaret, im only tapping you, im sure as hell not in a relationship with you, and i'm fairly sure you didnt want me to stick a relationship status of single on there did you.

why does everyone want commitment, and why do they only tell you after youve tapped them. I could chob this off now, and go back to my ex, on a purely sex and all you can eat buffet arrangement, but i know 2-3 weeks down the line, shed be asking what we are.

Tell her where you stand and what you want, seems like you might have acquired yourself a real bunny boiler there though lol. 2 or 3 weeks, damn, that's really bad. You'll go on facebook and her profile picture will be a photoshopped picture of you and her together.

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Sometimes though I get really pissed! If I don't reply like sometimes shell text me like oitt and when shes in a mood shell make it so I can't reply and will just put like yeah and k but if I didn't reply shell be even more moody!?

Arrrrrghhh women! I hope it's just cause shes in a shit mood tonight and tommorow it'll be all kosher again.

Another reason I wanna make it work so much aswell is if I loose her she's said she never goes back to people, also because I'm an apprentice I won't have the chance to meet girls like in normal college, my class is like 8 boys and all in all I'm shit at talking to girls im not a player or one of those people who constantly texts five girls, it took me long enough to get the confidence to speak her it was only because I had a gut feeling and I felt jealous if she was with anyone else :/

Edited by LukasMcNeal
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Dealing with women isn't fun, that's the way it is. They can just be retarded. You've let her gain control of the relationship, normally at the start the guy's in control, then slowly the woman takes over. Like at first I was the alpha in my relationship, but now my bird is in a stronger position and I hate it. I hate the fact I know she could absolutely ruin me now, even if it was only for a few months, I hate knowing that she could.

Relationships are all about giving your emotional status over to someone else and being with someone who respects the amount of trust/control you're giving them in the same way you respect the fact they've done the same with you.

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Bitches love candles.

Fo sho. Every time I see your posts I just say "The Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiird" in my head, the same way Brad Pitt says "the Jewwwwwwwwwwwwww Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear" in Inglourious Basterds.

It sucks Luke, but just talk to her properly, and be open about what you think and feel, see if it's gonna work, if not then you've just got to leave it, otherwise you'll keep going back there and stuff. And it's just because it's your first real relationship and whatever, (If it is) you'll always hold a candle for that person.

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I suppose so I think I'm just gonna have to see what happens and talk to her let her know how I feel, because of the way she's in control it's more I need her more than she needs me that's what I think, also if she does anything I'll shrug it off because I have to whereas if it was the other way it'd be cheerio.

I feel like such a twat I just want it to work or if it won't I'd rather not suffer, the thing is if I lost her I can guarantee I'd miss her, I want her back and I wouldnt be able to move on which sucks so much!

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You think you wouldn't be able to move on, but of course you would. That's why it's a good thing to get over it that first time, then you know you'll meet someone else. Everyone's been through it. It sucks, but you'll be fine, if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out, just roll with it and move on. You'll be fine, it will take time but you will be. That's if it all goes wrong, it might not.

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Sometimes though I get really pissed! If I don't reply like sometimes shell text me like oitt and when shes in a mood shell make it so I can't reply and will just put like yeah and k but if I didn't reply shell be even more moody!?

You are trying too hard, she knows you will try hard even if she's being a bitch, try less hard.

I suppose so I think I'm just gonna have to see what happens and talk to her let her know how I feel

For christ's sake, don't talk to her about it! Way to give up any 'control' you may have left!

Try less hard.

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Don't talk to her and just take it like a little bitch. What great advice you give.

To be fair, it's been better than the cliche tripe you've been putting in here.

It's been mentioned many times in this thread that trying less hard works. Females are not as complicated as they like to think they are, they're simple: They want what they either can't have or fear losing.

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What? His relationship that clearly isn't working doesn't need him trying to play hard to get. It might work early on in a relationship, or to get a bird, but you need to grow the f**k up once you're in a relationship and actually talk about stuff. Not play mind games and see who wins.

I was more giving him the best advice he will want to hear. My real advice would be to end a relationship that isn't working, there's no point playing games. And my advice is cliche but your "play hard to get" isn't. All advice on relationships is going to sound cliche or whatever because its all been given before and there's normally only 2 good answers if that. So it's not like we're gonna be coming up with ground breaking stuff here.

Edited by MonsieurMonkey
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Don't talk to her and just take it like a little bitch. What great advice you give.

No, I think you missed the point - don't discuss the matter and make it even more of an issue, and instead stop being such a pussy and don't rise to it.

Try less hard.

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