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Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread


Has anyone seen my shoe?

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I should probably have pointed out that the whole nice guy thing I'm doing with her isn't an act, without bigging my self up too much, when it comes to girls I really am the nice guy. I'm aware this doesn't work amazingly, hence why I've been single for waaayy too long.

I'm really not about to cut her off completely, so I'm favouring omgnoseat/rhythm_101's plan more at the moment, I don't want to play games with her, and I don't want to do anything that will risk loosing her trust.

As you can see, I'm not great at this stuff. I do think/hope things will work out eventually, I'm just getting kind of impatient. The trouble is I know you guys are probably right, and that going away for a bit will probably help things by making her miss me, I just wish there was a way I could do it without hurting her in the process.

You won't hurt her, she gets the prize of you at the end ;)

Seriously though, you're not going for being hurtful, but for not being needy. What we as guys think is needy is not what girls seem to think of a needy - they pretty much see any out of the blue phone call as needy, whereas you might just see it as having a chat.

Not saying that it's a hard and fast rule for everyone and every situation, and you're more than welcome to think your situation is one of the ones I've never ever come across, but being overtly aware of a womans sensitivity during the 'dating' (and pre-dating) phase pays off dividends in my experience. Especially when you then choose to ignore it.

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You won't hurt her, she gets the prize of you at the end ;)

Seriously though, you're not going for being hurtful, but for not being needy. What we as guys think is needy is not what girls seem to think of a needy - they pretty much see any out of the blue phone call as needy, whereas you might just see it as having a chat.

Not saying that it's a hard and fast rule for everyone and every situation, and you're more than welcome to think your situation is one of the ones I've never ever come across, but being overtly aware of a womans sensitivity during the 'dating' (and pre-dating) phase pays off dividends in my experience. Especially when you then choose to ignore it.

Is it terrible if I quickly ask what is meant with "needy"? Because the rest of that post seems to be very useful knowledge. :)

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This, completely!

I'm not saying for a moment you're putting on a nice guy act (I'm a nice guy too for reference! :P ), you just need to realise when you're being too nice and it's of detriment to your situation!

It sounds like you know this already...

Is it terrible if I quickly ask what is meant with "needy"? Because the rest of that post seems to be very useful knowledge. :)

Needy, clingy, won't leave the f*ck alone-y, more like a whiny kid than a prospective partner, requires attention one is not willing to give... To whatever degree :)

Edited by Jolfa
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Cheers guys, I am always pretty concious of trying not to be clingy, although I've just realised we haven't actually gone a day without contacting each other since we first met, but it's been pretty 50/50 as to who's contacted who first.

Even if it sounds like I know what you're saying already, it never hurts to hear it from more people, as I'm more likely to pay attention to it, I'm the kind of person who always realises what they should have done after they've already done the wrong thing, haha.

So far I've basically been trying to let her know that I care about her, without being clingy, or coming on too strong. I'm feeling a little more positive about things today after having a think about everything, and I do think I'm on the right track, I just wish things would hurry up.

I'm partly being so paranoid/impatient because she's way better looking than me, and she'd have no trouble at all getting with pretty much anyone else she wanted, so it's sort of a case of wanting to get to a position of security asap so I don't miss my chance with her. I'm not saying it's just her looks that interests me at all, it's really not, but it does make it harder to feel confident that things are going to go to plan when you know you're the one reaching higher than usual. Although that said, she has told me she thinks I'm much better looking than her ex, and she fell for him pretty hard. She seemed genuinely shocked when I said I didn't think I was any better than average looking, which is a good sign I guess, lol. (I really am average at best, lol, but if she want's to think otherwise I'm not about to correct her, haha)

I'm also feeling a bit better about things because I woke up to a text simply saying 'morning xx', which always makes me feel a bit better, knowing she's actually thinking of me before I've even done anything. thumbsupanim.gif

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I'm also feeling a bit better about things because I woke up to a text simply saying 'morning xx', which always makes me feel a bit better, knowing she's actually thinking of me before I've even done anything. thumbsupanim.gif

Is that because you didn't text her last night on Trials-forum's advice? :P

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Is that because you didn't text her last night on Trials-forum's advice? :P

Actually I was talking to her on Facebook last night for a quite a while during and after I wrote my first question. haha.

I'm not sure it's the right time to go away for a bit at the moment. I'd rather not at all, but even if I do decide it needs to be done, I don't want to do it just yet. Things seem like they've started to be going somewhere in the last few days, so I'll see if things work out without me deploying any sort of schemeing plans before I do anything like that.

Edited by RobinJI
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Well I don't know whether to f**k her, as you instructed, without a pic. I mean, I probably would because my standards are very low, but it would be handy to know what I was letting myself in for.

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I'm still talking to that girl like 6 times a week since Xmas, the girl who i've never met and only know 2 pics of! She's always the first to say hi on Fbook chat n that.

Other day when discussing a party that was coming up near my end, i dont even know the girl whos party it was to be honest (only know of her from school) she went "You should come on friday if you want"

Don't know whether to take that as a hint or if she's just being friendly. She seems nice though, she's petite as well (my fav...yum) as she was telling me she fit into a 9-10 year fancy dress outfit the other day. lol.

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Stalkerish?! hahaha with regards to what?

She likes drinking at the pub a lot :/ which made me think she'd be fairly chunky but apparently not. My mate said she's probably horribly disfigured on one side or something.

If her head fell into a deep fryer I get best of both worlds, vagina intact and her face is tasty to lick.

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