jt123 Posted March 14, 2011 Report Share Posted March 14, 2011 Interesting one... It's not illegal to film someone, but I don't know if filming someone committing an act like you describe would be treated the same way. You probably want to avoid court for all the trouble it would cause. If she keeps pushing it then hint that you have some evidence, and it'll only embarass her. Not least because they may decide to play it to the jury!! Yeah, I phoned her earlier and told her I had a video of it and she just went quiet then said she didn't believe me so I sent her the video. I'm hoping that will be the end of it. things you need to be sure of, 1) at no point did she say stop, 2)that she either instigated the sex, or you asked, and she consented( this rules out any chance of her using the she didnt know what was going on/was to drunk to function excuse). if those 2 things happened, then the long and short of it is, its not rape, and your not guilty, unless shes got people backing her up, its your word versus hers and the cps will be unlikely to pursue it any further. She didn't say stop, she instigated and she was totally sober. Cheers man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 14, 2011 Report Share Posted March 14, 2011 Filming her without her consent then sending her the evidence can't have been your best move there, dude. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt123 Posted March 14, 2011 Report Share Posted March 14, 2011 Filming her without her consent then sending her the evidence can't have been your best move there, dude. I've got another copy and it's better than being labelled a rapist. She's too stupid to get me charged filming without consent without the help of a lawyer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Topsy Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Let's hope so for you.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Let's hope so for you.. Better hope she's too stupid to find Trials-forum aswell then! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southend Trials Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Ok! Basically, i 've been talking to some girl for a couple of weeks and yeah getting along really well, was on the phone to her for just under two hours.. after this she text me and she was like what did you do for your gap year? because your in college and your 19.. nope, im 17.. and she was like what?! she explained she how she tohught i was 19.. then i sent her text saying "erghh..." and she was like what do you mean by that? i said i thought you was going to be livid and just not want to know me, then she replied with "well its shocked me a lot, and i do feel abit funny about it" then i replied its cool if you dont wanna text any more because of the age difference.. and now she isnt replying.. I'm going out of mind here, the thing keeps on going on in my head! what should i do? give up? or try and persuede her ? shes 18, so a year older then me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolver Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Leave her now, if she's bothered she can make some effort, if she's not, you're already on the way to forgetting about her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southend Trials Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Leave her now, if she's bothered she can make some effort, if she's not, you're already on the way to forgetting about her! By bothered you mean, bothered about me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolver Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southend Trials Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Ok ok... erghh.. hate it when they fall asleep paha, cheers bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolver Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 I know, they totally struggle more when they're conscious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southend Trials Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 I know, they totally struggle more when they're conscious. Sick sick b*****d! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 Ok! Basically, i 've been talking to some girl for a couple of weeks and yeah getting along really well, was on the phone to her for just under two hours.. after this she text me and she was like what did you do for your gap year? because your in college and your 19.. nope, im 17.. and she was like what?! she explained she how she tohught i was 19.. then i sent her text saying "erghh..." and she was like what do you mean by that? i said i thought you was going to be livid and just not want to know me, then she replied with "well its shocked me a lot, and i do feel abit funny about it" then i replied its cool if you dont wanna text any more because of the age difference.. and now she isnt replying.. I'm going out of mind here, the thing keeps on going on in my head! what should i do? give up? or try and persuede her ? shes 18, so a year older then me... If you act like you think it could be a problem, it shows you think it could be a problem, meaning that you think you're not mature enough to make up for the age gap, so then she'll start to think, "maybe it's a problem, because he's not mature enough to make up for the age gap". If you'd just said, "Why, does it bother you?", then you would have found it much easier to get away with it. Alternatively, when she asks about your gap year, just tell her about how you travelled round Burma, and then chundered everywhere. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southend Trials Posted March 15, 2011 Report Share Posted March 15, 2011 If you act like you think it could be a problem, it shows you think it could be a problem, meaning that you think you're not mature enough to make up for the age gap, so then she'll start to think, "maybe it's a problem, because he's not mature enough to make up for the age gap". If you'd just said, "Why, does it bother you?", then you would have found it much easier to get away with it. Alternatively, when she asks about your gap year, just tell her about how you travelled round Burma, and then chundered everywhere. LOL, ok yeah thats what i was thinking about.. if she start saying i dont feel comfortable about the gap, well to be honest, its quite common for people to have an age gap of a year between them.. cheers mate! its gonna be a long night i knowwww.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southend Trials Posted March 16, 2011 Report Share Posted March 16, 2011 Sorted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 17, 2011 Report Share Posted March 17, 2011 Why is it always the little arguments that turn into massive ones? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted March 18, 2011 Report Share Posted March 18, 2011 Well done on actively making her dislike you, lol. You couldn't have been more negative and off-putting if you tried... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Having "the chat" about uni and stuff, sad face Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinJI Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Right, It's a rare event for me to post in here, and I guess I'm not actually a teenager any more, so I should be man enough to sort my own shit out, but it can't hurt to ask. lol Basically, I've been getting to know a girl for the last 5 or 6 weeks, a mate introduced us with the intention of setting us up, and I started texting her for a while, went and met up, had a good time, kept texting each other ect... met up 3 times since, and I'm starting to really like her. I'm pretty certain she likes me, we've both known from the outset that the idea of this was romantic, not just mates.. The trouble is, she's really hung up on her ex (they broke up about 2 months ago). She know's he's a dick, he's got a new girlfriend, and she knows they were a far from perfect couple, but she's still hung up on the fact he broke up with her, and got with someone else strait after. He was her first long term boyfriend, so it's understandable that she'll have trouble getting over it, but I just don't know what I can do to help. I really like her, and I think we're well suited, and I think I could really make her happy, and we could have a great time together, but the trouble is I don't know how to get her to realise this, and how to get her to forget her ex. So yeah, any suggestions of what I should do? I don't know if coming on strong/making a move would improve things, or make them worse. I know when I was struggling to get over my last serious ex it helped a lot meeting someone else and realising I could be happy without my ex. But then if it's still too soon it could backfire completely, and she could find it weird being with someone else. I feel like if I could spend more time with her it would help things, but she lives far enough away that I can't just pop there for a few minutes (everywhere's about that far away from chard, lol) and she's really busy with exams and revision at the moment, so we've only been managing to meet up about once a week, which sucks, and drags things out a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhythm_101 Posted March 24, 2011 Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 Just talk to her about it, let her know that you don't want to push her into anything and give her a bit of time, she'll come round in the end, and will have big respect for you for not taking advantage of a rebound situation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted March 24, 2011 Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 (edited) Oh goodness no, don't talk to her about it, you'll come across as a pussy. The reason she's into her ex is because he's such a nobhead - a 'dangerous' challenge, the nice guy (you) is exactly the opposite and as such is not appealing at all! I would go with give her loads and loads of positive attention, almost too much, and then back riiiight off and she'll soon miss it and start seeking it from you Edited March 24, 2011 by Jolfa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omgnoseat Posted March 24, 2011 Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 Oh goodness no, don't talk to her about it, you'll come across as a pussy. The reason she's into her ex is because he's such a nobhead - a 'dangerous' challenge, the nice guy (you) is exactly the opposite and as such is not appealing at all! I would go with give her loads and loads of positive attention, almost too much, and then back riiiight off and she'll soon miss it and start seeking it from you You mean the dennis system?! (it's always sunny in philadelphia show) D-Demonstrate Value (Show the woman you wish to seduce your high status. Sound familiar?) E-Engage Physically (Sleep with her asap to set a physical tone for the relationship.) N-Nurturing Dependence (Make her rely on you. Dennis encourages slashing her tires so she needs rides.) N-Neglect Emotionally (Once she’s slept with you, pull away to make her question her self-worth.) I-Inspire Hope (Build her back up by saying you only left because you fell too hard and too quickly for her.) S-Separate Entirely (Bail once you’ve slept with her a few more times.) Anyway, backing off is the most stupid thing you can do. Girls are not forgiving. Let her know you care (through actions, don't directly talk about it) and give her time to get over it. Listen to the love songs, love takes time to heal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 24, 2011 Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 This: Oh goodness no, don't talk to her about it, you'll come across as a pussy. The reason she's into her ex is because he's such a nobhead - a 'dangerous' challenge, the nice guy (you) is exactly the opposite and as such is not appealing at all! I would go with give her loads and loads of positive attention, almost too much, and then back riiiight off and she'll soon miss it and start seeking it from you Not this: Anyway, backing off is the most stupid thing you can do. Girls are not forgiving. Let her know you care (through actions, don't directly talk about it) and give her time to get over it. Listen to the love songs, love takes time to heal Girls are not forgiving, they are unwittingly stupid. Just as we are. Know how to play their game against them and you win by default. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinJI Posted March 24, 2011 Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 I should probably have pointed out that the whole nice guy thing I'm doing with her isn't an act, without bigging my self up too much, when it comes to girls I really am the nice guy. I'm aware this doesn't work amazingly, hence why I've been single for waaayy too long. I'm really not about to cut her off completely, so I'm favouring omgnoseat/rhythm_101's plan more at the moment, I don't want to play games with her, and I don't want to do anything that will risk loosing her trust. As you can see, I'm not great at this stuff. I do think/hope things will work out eventually, I'm just getting kind of impatient. The trouble is I know you guys are probably right, and that going away for a bit will probably help things by making her miss me, I just wish there was a way I could do it without hurting her in the process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted March 24, 2011 Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 (edited) Why is it always the little arguments that turn into massive ones? Because little arguments are not worth arguing about. As soon as both sides realise that, they have a massive argument. Fact. edit: I really like her, and I think we're well suited, and I think I could really make her happy, and we could have a great time together, but the trouble is I don't know how to get her to realise this, and how to get her to forget her ex. That. Don't focus on trying to make her feel good with you, just spend time together like you have so far and act natural without having the goal you're trying to accomplish in mind. Sooner or later she'll stop caring about her ex and start caring about you. It's all a matter of time, there's nothing you can say or do that will suddenly make her forget. Take it easy. Oh and don't get too involved, not until she gets over her ex. Edited March 24, 2011 by Greetings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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