Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread

[Skoze]

Mel and I haven't reeeeeeeally had a proper argument since we've been friends (2+ years, with eachother for 11 months) which is weird but cool - i can't see why a relationship needs arguments to be considered good/ strong?

Having said that we've dealt with a lot of deep shit which has really made us savagely close, so i guess there is a point there - i suppose you need some drama to kinda realise you do want/ need one another and that you can work through your differences.

I do agree with the tempting fate thing though, it's almost like they wait for it and just get into an argument because "it's what couples do"

In other news, to the SkozenuckleJive thread! Before i forget to reply again

[chimpanzyyyy]

You're doing it the wrong way round.

thanks mate

now I get it

[weirdoku]

Something happened today between me and the missus this morning, mostly sorted but won't know for sure until in a few weeks time. But since this morning, she hasn't spoken to me much at all and just wants to be by herself. I'm just worried about her. I can't tell you what happened but it was my fault and I have apologised and she said it's fine.

Do I just let her be for a while? It just feels horrible between us today.

[Shaun H]

Something happened today between me and the missus this morning, mostly sorted but won't know for sure until in a few weeks time. But since this morning, she hasn't spoken to me much at all and just wants to be by herself. I'm just worried about her. I can't tell you what happened but it was my fault and I have apologised and she said it's fine.

Do I just let her be for a while? It just feels horrible between us today.

I think we've all heard that one before

Obviously it's difficult for us to give advice if you can't tell us what it is you've upset her with. I'd suggest making sure you're there for her if she wants and being VERY careful about pushing the issue. I think it may be Skoze who is best experienced in dealing with a missus who doesn't want to talk about something difficult? Either way like he said, we're all friends here, we'll be able to help better knowing the whole situation.

[weirdoku]

Thanks for the reply guys But she has just woken up like a beam of sunrays, I guess after a goodnight sleep it made her feel better!

PHEW!

[eddbmxdude]

Was with my missus for 6 years. Got engaged an all that shizz, then she started talking about kids. Im not ready for that sort of hardcore stuff yet so we broke up, that was June/July 09.

We didn't have massive rows or anything, it was a mutual decision, we both just wanted slightly different things in life. We still loved each other when we broke up, still saw each other loads etc.

I went to the States for a month and when I got back she tells me shes been seeing girls. She did tell me she was Bi when we first got together years ago, but she had never really acted on it. She said she 'wanted to explore this part' of her. Shes now got a girlfriend and they have been together for a couple of months.

She had a couple of boyfriends between the time we split up and the time I went to the States, and that was really hard for me. The feelings I get aren't so bad now shes with a woman, but its a bit of a headf**k.

My problem is I miss her so much. I hardly ever see her anymore because when I do, it just leaves me feeling shit for a week or so afterwards. I feel like she doesn't miss me anymore, she said she does but it doesn't feel like it. Ever since shes got a girlfriend I feel super awkward when I see her. I've been invited out for drinks on her birthday, I want to go and at least give her a card, but her girlfriend will be there and I don't want to see her. I've never met her but I know it'll kill me to see them together. I don't think she does it on purpose but sometimes it feels like she's rubbing it in my face that shes a raging lesbian now!

Shes changed so much, I guess I just miss the old her. Thing thats worrying me is its still affecting me a year and a half on?!

I don't know what to do

And the worst thing? Lesbian porn just doesn't do it for me anymore

[PeanuckleJive]

INB4 "turn gay"

[MadManMike]

Turn gay.

[MadManMike]

Got some weird stuff going on since the weekend... confused.

[MadManMike]

Can't really say at the moment mate, this may be being monitored by certain folk.

Will spill ASAP though!

[Max Quinn]

<Sniperooni>

Hang on, she split up with you cos she wanted kids, then hooked up with a woman? Headf**k

[dirt jumper jake]

Hang on, she split up with you cos she wanted kids, then hooked up with a woman? Headf**k

Unless she has testicles in her vagina, then she int gonna get kids from her girlfriend.

[eddbmxdude]

Hang on, she split up with you cos she wanted kids, then hooked up with a woman? Headf**k

Yup. Women make noooooooooooooooooo sense!

[Leistonbmx]

Really?!

[Dan6061]

Has she gone for the fit girly lesbian type, or the scarey, manly, butch lesbian type?

Need to tell us the important details.

[eddbmxdude]

Has she gone for the fit girly lesbian type, or the scarey, manly, butch lesbian type?

Need to tell us the important details.

She did mess around with a fit girl for a while but her girlfriend is pretty ugly, not proper butch with short dykey hair but not a looker either.

Edited November 26, 2010 by eddbmxdude

[Dan6061]

So basically you, minus the penis?

[Max Quinn]

1) Girls are like buses

2) The good ones always seem to live far away

3) The head f**k ones you just can't quite work out

[weirdoku]

Girl no more

[Revolver]

Boo, why?

[weirdoku]

Boo, why?

All my fault, I've been so full on with her and have never really given her space and time to herself. I do notice that now that I look back and I'm such an idiot. She still think of her ex a lot and she says she just wants some time alone to run wild and sort herself out cos it's really bringing her down. We're still close friends and she knows that I still care about her so so much. But if she wants to be alone then I can't do anything else except be there for her and just let her be. I just wish she told me sooner to ease off a bit. Now I hate myself.

[weirdoku]

There's so much more to my girlfriend than I ever imagined, she is constantly battling her weight issues and so many other things. No matter how much I tell her she looks perfect the way she is she does not listen, but instead she listens to everyone else that says bad things about her and she takes it so personally. I know girls are really conscious about their image but this is far too much and she is punishing herself in some ways and she told me earlier she should be in pain and alone, all for one reason I just cannot say on here because it is so so personal.

I just want to talk to someone, so I know how to help her deal with these things.

Edited December 17, 2010 by weirdoku

[Bronz]

…so I know how to help her deal with these things.

Hot:

Not hot:

[Has anyone seen my shoe?]

Re the whole arguments thing, I'm actually really willing to back that theory where arguments are necessary. Not massive ones and not regularly but just a few here and there. Generally if you're not arguing about stuff its because either things are going well or whatever that persons problem is, is bubbling under the surface and causes bigger problems further down the line. There is always a problem in a relationship no matter what either partner says. Having the ability to argue things out and still hold the feelings of 'love' or whatever is something not all couples can do. Obviously too many arguements can lead to a split up on their own and rightly so, but I do think in the right context they can help.

As for the guy above, that post is far to ambiguous for anyone to help really...

Next page fail.... Was directed at Weirdoku but nvm

So having actually read the last page Weirdoku mate, don't take all the blame dude. Women have a wonderful knack of making you feel like its all your fault, they'll more then likely pull out some kind of self concious issue to make you feel sorry for them when really they are just looking to get out without looking like a complete bitch. They're not so different from men in this regard. Not saying they consciously do it, its natural almost. Just bear in mind she had as much of a hand in making things work, as she did in making things fail. Relationships are a two way thing. They need contributions from both parts on equal levels to work, otherwise someones going to be unhappy.

[Tony Harrison]

There's so much more to my girlfriend than I ever imagined, she is constantly battling her weight issues and so many other things. No matter how much I tell her she looks perfect the way she is she does not listen, but instead she listens to everyone else that says bad things about her and she takes it so personally. I know girls are really conscious about their image but this is far too much and she is punishing herself in some ways and she told me earlier she should be in pain and alone, all for one reason I just cannot say on here because it is so so personal.

I just want to talk to someone, so I know how to help her deal with these things.

In pain and alone... a self hater then. Deluded. See, it's interesting - never before have people had as much freedom, choice and disposable income as young people today. And it's f**king us all up.

Until she wants to fix herself she's clearly not going to listen to you. Perhaps she should go and do some volunteer work with people who really suffer. That might put things in perspective.

Just be careful not to become her punch bag... I've been there before. You'll be identified the one that she can hurt but that'll always come back... there comes a point when you're not being the strong friend any more, you're just being the mug and not really helping her.