Skoze Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 (edited) I they are/ were good mates, at least try! When things blew up with my ex (were incredibly close friends, similar situation to you when we initially broke up) it all went horribly wrong, i acted like a c.unt and so did she, i gave her a full on apology with a general "this is my last try, after this it's your call" theme to it and then she didnt speak to me for 6 months, felt so shit every day from then until she phoned me a few days ago to say sorry and i've felt f**king awesome since! Leaving things in a good place is always gonna be a good thing to do. Let them sober up, give the one who's your age old fiend call if no one else and try. If it doesnt work, leave it and move on - never hurts to give it a go. Edited March 21, 2010 by Skoze Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 It is. In related news I was in Asda last night and saw the "other guy". At first I went to a different aisle but then thought - why the fk am I hiding from him? I've done nothing wrong?... So I went back and saw him - he saw me and said "oh hello mate" and walks off.... I say "errrm.... I think we need to have a few words....'mate'.." We had words, he looked very sheepish and it took so much self control not give the boy a fking slap.. Had it not been in the middle of a busy supermarket, things might have gone differently... I've chucked the reply over here to save that other thread from getting a bit of a downer when it's done so well at being a thread full of lovely beautiful awesomeness... Nicely done for not being a bitch about it, but also having the self restraint to not put yourself on a level you shouldn't be. He's a knob for doing what he did, but at the end of the day it's done now. Here comes another cliché but if you love them let them go. If she comes back then great, if not then it wasn't meant to be. f**k that shit, but yea it's done and there's nothing good gonna come out of giving him a slap. Although if you wanna invite him to a boxing ring so that no legalities can be brought against you, I can set that up no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy P Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 I've chucked the reply over here to save that other thread from getting a bit of a downer when it's done so well at being a thread full of lovely beautiful awesomeness... Nicely done for not being a bitch about it, but also having the self restraint to not put yourself on a level you shouldn't be. He's a knob for doing what he did, but at the end of the day it's done now. Here comes another cliché but if you love them let them go. If she comes back then great, if not then it wasn't meant to be. f**k that shit, but yea it's done and there's nothing good gonna come out of giving him a slap. Although if you wanna invite him to a boxing ring so that no legalities can be brought against you, I can set that up no problem. Its funny you say that, I've started boxing training since we've broken up - call it preventitive measures for the same thing happening in the future - ie, no bloke wants to mess about with the gf of a boxer. lol. I had a little breakdown the other day too. We've been seeing each other fairly regularly so she can see her cat who lives with me (and is staying with me because she can't have pets in a rented flat) and we've been good friends - we text each other several times a day. I've not ever said anything to her about how I really feel because I don't want to upset either of us but because I've not seen her for about a week now it got a bit much. I was missing seeing her so badly. I ended up texting her saying that "I'm still so utterly in love with you still. You're the first person I think about when I wake up and last person I think about at night - and even when I'm asleep you're all I'm dreaming about. I know you don't share the same feelings and maybe its unfair that I'm telling you but if you love somebody as much as I love you then all you'd want to do is tell them" Reading it back now its SO soppy and desperate but thats exactly how I felt at the time. I know we're not going to get back together - if she turned round and said to me today that she wants everything back the way things were, I really dont think I'd take her back, even though I love her so much. I'll stop here because I'm just going round in circles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 (edited) Its funny you say that, I've started boxing training since we've broken up - call it preventitive measures for the same thing happening in the future - ie, no bloke wants to mess about with the gf of a boxer. lol. I f**king well hope so! Although it probably doesn't count if you're at lightweight like me looking like a sissy little girl like me! I'll stop here because I'm just going round in circles. As harsh as it could sound, it does sound like you are. You're doing the right things but then letting yourself do the wrong ones as well. You're allowed to be angry with her. You're allowed to upset her. You're allowed to do this without letting her think you give a toss about her future. Letting her know that you do care, and that you do think about her etc etc is just giving her power - and we all know that women don't deserve any of that! (Shut up Hannah, just shhh) Sounds like you're doing better than before either way, it'll keep getting better and maybe you'll end up finding you have a talent for hitting people in the exact way a judge wants you to in which case we'll probably bump into each other on that circuit! Edited March 24, 2010 by JD™ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy P Posted March 24, 2010 Report Share Posted March 24, 2010 I f**king well hope so! Although it probably doesn't count if you're at lightweight like me looking like a sissy little girl like me! Lol, I'm currently in the super middleweight bracket but I've not been doing any sort of training / excercise for the past 3 years or so. When I was up at my fittest I'd have been Light heavyweight verging cruiser weight. As harsh as it could sound, it does sound like you are. You're doing the right things but then letting yourself do the wrong ones as well. You're allowed to be angry with her. You're allowed to upset her. You're allowed to do this without letting her think you give a toss about her future. Letting her know that you do care, and that you do think about her etc etc is just giving her power - and we all know that women don't deserve any of that! (Shut up Hannah, just shhh) Yeah I totally know what I'm doing wrong but I can't help it. It really doesn't help that my house is still full of her things (until she moves into her flat) and that we've got a cat together that she wants to see constantly. In the past I've just cut all ties with my Ex's and I've got no relationship what-so-ever with them, but this is the first time I've lived with somebody for so long and have pets with and all that stuff. Also, in the past I've kept in touch with other girls as a sort of "back up plan" so to speak, so if I did have a break up it wasn't long before I'd have someone to comfort me But having been engaged I thought those days were over and lost contact with lots of my female friends. Sounds like you're doing better than before either way, it'll keep getting better and maybe you'll end up finding you have a talent for hitting people in the exact way a judge wants you to in which case we'll probably bump into each other on that circuit! I have to say I REALLY enjoyed it - more so that I thought I would. It was nice to get rid of some aggression for once rather than bottling it all up and sitting in an empty house. I'm still just testing the waters with it - at the moment theres just not enough hours in the day. Once things calm down a bit I'm sure I'll be able to throw myself into it. We'll just have to see if I've got what it takes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Quinn Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 (edited) Hmmm jus general long times. This girl is literally my best mate in Bournemouth, an like you say we're part of the same really tight group of mates. She had a boyfriend when I first got to know her so I allowed it, then when she split up with him it felt like we were too good mates to f**k shit up. But now I'm realising I like her a lot more than I thought an would feel like a massive pussy if i never did anything. But it's the kinda odd situation where It's hard to flirt as we're so tight as mates, an jus straight up telling her could f**k everything up if she doesn't feel the same way, which I think she might not do to be honest. Heeaaaddf**k. Wanted to man up an ask her tonight, but just didn't feel right. Shes goin home tomorrow so won't see her till mid easter when I'm heading up to hers for a night out which is pretty long cos as gay as it sounds it's all i'm thinking about right now haha. Why is it never simple? Edited March 26, 2010 by Max Quinn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted March 28, 2010 Report Share Posted March 28, 2010 Thing's aren't right with the mrs. She's having certain problems at home, family issues. She's getting upset about that, getting into arguements/fights with her parents, then walking out and being upset, crying etc, and just walking about on her own not knowing what she's doing or where she's going. She's told me that everything around her is falling apart, and she just feels empty inside... I've had the exact same thing before, and it's difficult to help her. I felt empty for ages. I was having family problems, stuff at school wasn't right, found it hard to get a job and my mum was constantly moaning at me about it. I don't know how I fixed it though... I didn't have anyone to turn to for help really. I just waited for it all to happen, and see how it panned out. I can stop myself from getting into fights, I ask myself where it'll get me/how it'll help me before I do anything, same with arguements. Tried telling her that, but I don't know if it's helped... She just wants things to be right and they're not, so she's getting upset about it all, and it's effecting us. I said to her that I'll be here for her, whenever she needs me... That's all I could really think to say that might help. Don't really want to go for the 'Man the f**k up' approach, in true T-F fashion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted March 29, 2010 Report Share Posted March 29, 2010 I said to her that I'll be here for her, whenever she needs me... That's all I could really think to say that might help. Sounds like you've done all you can, you can't really change her luck and everything else that's going on! I've given my woman a cold and tonsilitis in the space of a week, she's not best pleased with me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigAl Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 F**KING GIRLS. Shes not been herself recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mods Posted April 10, 2010 Report Share Posted April 10, 2010 (edited) Thing's aren't right with the mrs. She's having certain problems at home, family issues. She's getting upset about that, getting into arguements/fights with her parents, then walking out and being upset, crying etc, and just walking about on her own not knowing what she's doing or where she's going. She's told me that everything around her is falling apart, and she just feels empty inside... I've had the exact same thing before, and it's difficult to help her. I felt empty for ages. I was having family problems, stuff at school wasn't right, found it hard to get a job and my mum was constantly moaning at me about it. I don't know how I fixed it though... I didn't have anyone to turn to for help really. I just waited for it all to happen, and see how it panned out. I can stop myself from getting into fights, I ask myself where it'll get me/how it'll help me before I do anything, same with arguements. Tried telling her that, but I don't know if it's helped... She just wants things to be right and they're not, so she's getting upset about it all, and it's effecting us. I said to her that I'll be here for her, whenever she needs me... That's all I could really think to say that might help. Don't really want to go for the 'Man the f**k up' approach, in true T-F fashion. I think everyone has been there. Im not saying it will work as everyone is different. But a good idea would be to take her away for the weekend. You dont have to spend a lot of money just go somewhere different, have a meal etc. Just generally try and have a good time. She and you will probably come back with a different attitude and apprach to things. A change of scenery is always a good place to start. Hope this helps Edited April 10, 2010 by mods Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arw_86 Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 aint girl trouble....yet. heres the crack jack. theres a girl whos is stupidly hot! i wanna play with her south mouth!.....2 big problems! her brother is my mate an said he would never let any of his mates get with his sister! And also, im off to australia traveling in september (so like 6 months) we flirt alot, but dunno if she just does that with everyone! But, is it worth me goin for it or not worth the hassle of her brother or the fact i wont be here in 6 months so again not worth the hassle of what might happen. thoughts please gents Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted April 13, 2010 Report Share Posted April 13, 2010 Next time she's all flirtatious, just ask her if she fancies going out for a drink or something. Be casual about it and you'll soon know if she's genuinely interested or not, and you'll lose no face if she says no/ turns out not to be interested. Brother thing... How good of a mate is he? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arw_86 Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Next time she's all flirtatious, just ask her if she fancies going out for a drink or something. Be casual about it and you'll soon know if she's genuinely interested or not, and you'll lose no face if she says no/ turns out not to be interested. Brother thing... How good of a mate is he? hes not a best mate but, he comes out with us sometimes, but also im good friends with their parents cos they come out on the piss with us along with another mates parents. their just big kids lol. Ye i might, go to the next step, but im just worried that it will go somewhere as stupid as that sounds. thanks for the help mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 If you think it could go somewhere (ie you find out she is genuinely interested) then you'll be in control of it instead of wondering either way. Be cool about it, she won't get lead on and you'll be able to decide what you wanna do about it Just don't take forever to decide it's worth a shot; friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeenddddddddddzooooooooooooooooooooooooneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Regret what you've done, not what you didn't do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Also, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Also, it's easier to get forgiveness than permission. That's the worst excuse for rape I ever heard... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 That's the worst excuse for rape I ever heard... LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Sorry darling, we can't all be seasoned pro's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arw_86 Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 haha quality, cheers boys ill try the rape.....i mean asking her out for a drink soon. ill let you know how shit it goes and how hard her brother t.w.a.t.s me one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocktrials Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Ask her out on a date with all the family, seems like you get on well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Never know, might turn out like your sig! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rocktrials Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Go for it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpson Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Another one for just go for it.... HOWEVER thats the type of attitude that has just landed me in a bit of a corner. In summary: girl.... her bf worth of 4 years... and her breaking up with him over what we did monday night.... niiiiice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skoze Posted April 14, 2010 Report Share Posted April 14, 2010 Is this the girl we were chatting about on the train? Either way, rough... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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