Shaun H Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 Well that could have gone better, somewhere between explaining how I felt and saying I wanted to see her in person she got the impression I was breaking up with her on the phone (I'll point out at this point that I'm certainly not the sort of coward who does that). I was already very upset trying to explain myself which probably didn't help with the misunderstanding but hearing her literally breaking down over the phone is the most horrible, heart wrenching thing I have ever been through, in fact I'm starting to cry again now just thinking about it.I certainly don't think it's resolved but the conversation ended with us both relatively content. She said it was fine to sometimes feel like I did but I don't know if I'd agree, I was so drained at this point though I didn't argue.I rarely post on here but to be fair it seems Shaun is the one with the problem and the gf reaction to it all is perfectly normal. I think you've just started putting other things first, such as riding, which to be honest is fine yea.. but you cant go through life putting the things you want to do first and not expect it to hurt other peoples feelings. I guess that statement also applies to madmanmike. You will be feeling so 50/50 with her shaun because you are likely getting to the age now where the relationship really can take off in to future plans. You are at the age of fully leaving all education and moving towards careers etc.. so as a bloke.. you are going to question everything you have/do in order to set yourself straight for the next step. To me, it seems like she's the right way to go but sadly in your own confusion you are f**king up the possibility of having someone there for you who could infact, help you through things.. kind of like how she wanted to talk to you about the MOT stuff? she wanted to talk it over for reassurance/someone to bitch to because after all you've had a 4 year relationship you aren't just a couple you are best/very good friends.The bit in bold I think might be true, certainly subconsciously...The MOT bit though, she'd already done all that, she was speaking to me later after it'd all been finalised the silly cow.I'd definitely call her my best friend though (when I'm not feeling as I've described earlier that is ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
munkee Posted November 28, 2009 Report Share Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) I'd love to write a long post but I think its up to you guys to sort out, she's right though.. it is ok to feel like that sometimes. People dont go through life having everything easy there are days when my girlfriend f**ks me off so badly and I feel the exact same as you did. However, you just have to think screw it.. she's the person who has been there the whole time through good and bad its time to snap out of the mood swings and just get things back on track. They wont ever go right if you dont try and push them right so like I said before, think about some things you are putting before her and stop them for a bit until everything is sorted. Edited November 28, 2009 by munkee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitemybutt Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) I've been seeing a girl for about a month now and she's awesome. Only thing is, she still sees her ex. She says they get on well so she wants to stay friends. Problem I have is a) Why did they split up then and does she still have feelings for him? He's also moving to Australia in feb, which is something she said she'd love to do..... She met up with him last night to 'sort out their friendship' and when I met up with her after she seemed a bit distant and upset. Am I being paranoid? She says I have nothing to worry about and should trust her, but I can't help it Edited December 4, 2009 by bitemybutt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted December 4, 2009 Report Share Posted December 4, 2009 Hmmm, me and my ex are genuinely friends so we still chat to each other and see each other occasionally (difficult as shes at uni 98% of the time).So on that front I dont think you have much to worry about regards them doing anything. I've been friends with my ex for about 3 years and we've never done anything.Additionally, she has a boyfriend, god knows what he thinks of the whole thing but he seems ok with me so I think he trusts nothing is going on.Sounds a bit dodgy if you say she was upset and distant though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitemybutt Posted December 5, 2009 Report Share Posted December 5, 2009 I've been seeing a girl for about a month now and she's awesome. Only thing is, she still sees her ex. She says they get on well so she wants to stay friends. Problem I have is a) Why did they split up then and does she still have feelings for him? He's also moving to Australia in feb, which is something she said she'd love to do..... She met up with him last night to 'sort out their friendship' and when I met up with her after she seemed a bit distant and upset. Am I being paranoid? She says I have nothing to worry about and should trust her, but I can't help it Well I royally f**ked up yesterday. I said I really liked her, but felt she didn't feel the same, which she admitted. But she said she wanted to see what happens. Me being a twat said I didn't want to see her anymore. I was really drunk and regret it big time now. She won't answer her phone or reply to texts.What do I do?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted December 5, 2009 Report Share Posted December 5, 2009 Well I royally f**ked up yesterday. I said I really liked her, but felt she didn't feel the same, which she admitted. But she said she wanted to see what happens. Me being a twat said I didn't want to see her anymore. I was really drunk and regret it big time now. She won't answer her phone or reply to texts.What do I do?? Admit to yourself that you made a mistake, and move on. It wouldn't have worked anyway because she doesn't feel the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 Does anyone on here have trouble finding a gf? I'm talking specifically about finding somebody you like, not actually getting her to like/love you back because that's easy.It's been over a month now since I broke up with my gf and I'm back to square one with the usual problem - lots of nice girls around in who sooner or later I find a fault I can't overcome. What do you do? Force yourself, keep dating until you feel connected or what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpson Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 It's been over a month now since I broke up with my gf and I'm back to square one with the usual problem - lots of nice girls around in who sooner or later I find a fault I can't overcome. What do you do? Force yourself, keep dating until you feel connected or what?Its been a month man, finding a new girl could take months, don't rush it and don't settle for second best just because you feel like you need someone else in your life to replace your ex. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Has anyone seen my shoe? Posted December 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 I have particular trouble. I always seem to pick girls in situations that make things awkward. I'm well into one at the moment who is in a relationship already. Typical. I guess I will just have to wait and see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpson Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 I have particular trouble. I always seem to pick girls in situations that make things awkward. I'm well into one at the moment who is in a relationship already. Typical. I guess I will just have to wait and see.Becuase it makes things more challenging? Or your just an unlucky b*****d? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DannyBazz (: Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 I have particular trouble. I always seem to pick girls in situations that make things awkward.Same for me. Like I'm with this one girl now, but her dad is really possessive, won't let her out of his sight unless he knows exactly where she's going etc..Only time I see her is at school, and when she's at her mates occasionally.Another girl lived miles away, another didn't want me to ride or drink or any of that dangerous stuff...I wish I could find a girl who was perfect, but that's not gonna happen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Has anyone seen my shoe? Posted December 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 I dont aim for un-single girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 Does anyone on here have trouble finding a gf? I'm talking specifically about finding somebody you like, not actually getting her to like/love you back because that's easy.It's been over a month now since I broke up with my gf and I'm back to square one with the usual problem - lots of nice girls around in who sooner or later I find a fault I can't overcome. What do you do? Force yourself, keep dating until you feel connected or what?Been like that for me for years.... and the ones I like are always taken, always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Has anyone seen my shoe? Posted December 6, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 Been like that for me for years.... and the ones I like are always taken, always.Might make a facebook group. Thats what the cool kids do AMIRITE? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdoku Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 Might make a facebook group. Thats what the cool kids do AMIRITE?I'll join Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 Its been a month man, finding a new girl could take months, don't rush it and don't settle for second best just because you feel like you need someone else in your life to replace your ex.It's more difficult than that. It's to do with loosing interest in the process of dating. It's happened with every single girl I ever dated including those who were later my girlfriends. With my ex (Natalie) it took almost a year of on/off dating because I'd keep hesitating. In the end we did get together and I fell in love. However, this didn't have to take that long if I was more decisive. Who knows how many great relationships I've missed out on because of this.As of today, I've been chatting away for over a month now with a girl I "met" at the beginning of spring. We didn't talk back then because I was already with Natalie but we took quite a lot of interest in each other. Now she's in Germany and will be coming back in around 2 weeks for the holidays. Apart from being very happy to see her, I'm worried that I'll loose interest and f**k everything up for myself.I'm genuinely looking for a solution - anyone on here forced themselves to date somebody you liked but weren't too sure of? How did that work out?As for taken girls - they do seem more appealing. That's probably why they're taken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D A N N Y Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 when the chance it there take it ! because in my case its been and gone so :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walleee Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 (edited) Does anyone on here have trouble finding a gfI have trouble finding a girl I like too! I went away for a weekend with the uni sailing club, 5 boats, 60 odd students, lots of booze, etc. There was one girl in particular who was after me, and I literally avoided her. She's tried it a few times since and I think after a few times shes finally got the message that im not interested. I think with her it was the fact that I like a challenge. I like the idea of Chivalry, and traditional dating, taking a girl out for dinner and paying, making sure she gets home safe, opening doors, pulling out chairs, all that shit. I think the problem with this other girl would have been that none of that wouldn't have happened.Is the chase better than the catch? Edited December 6, 2009 by Walleee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishy Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 Thought about shagging around for a bit? Slutting it up? Might not be your cup of tea but try it. From all your posts in here and generally, it seems you quite like to be tied down, am I right? You tried just being a slut for a bit, if not, you should. It's like having your first big fight, you learn a lot about yourself afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikeriding Posted December 6, 2009 Report Share Posted December 6, 2009 Its been a month man, finding a new girl could take months, don't rush it and don't settle for second best just because you feel like you need someone else in your life to replace your ex.good advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Fishy never tried it, shagging random birds just for the sake of it is not in my nature. It's definitely something to consider, could be fun in the short run Depends on what you mean by tied down but yeah, I'm much more happy in a relationship than out of it. That's pretty much bang on, all of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fishy Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 (edited) A relationship is what I meant, yeah. Might be something to consider, it broadens your horizons. Do you feel that you shouldn't be single, that you should have a partner? Edit: Misplaced smiley Edited December 7, 2009 by Fishy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Has anyone seen my shoe? Posted December 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Just come and be with me Corneli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 A relationship is what I meant, yeah. Might be something to consider, it broadens your horizons. Do you feel that you shouldn't be single, that you should have a partner?Kind of, I can do all sorts of stuff and have lots of fun, go out with mates all the time but without a girlfriend it all feels a bit hollow. I'm also starting to feel old - my mates are getting married or engaged, planning kids and stuff - subconsciously that exerts lots of pressure.Thought about your advice and I'm going to try it. When this girl comes back, I'm going to get laid first and then think about whether there's any point in dating her. Perhaps that's where I've been going wrong. Sounds like it could work. If it doesn't then at least I will have accomplished something before walking away.Just come and be with me Corneli That's an offer one just can't refuse :$ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winnie Posted December 7, 2009 Report Share Posted December 7, 2009 Broke up with my girlfriend of 6.5 years yesterday. It's kind of been coming but i thought we'd be able to sort things out and now i feel a little lost to be honest. Not quite sure what to do with myself really. Got the joy sorting out cars, holidays etc to come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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