Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread

[Revolver]

Better to be safe than sorry, isn't it!

Off-topic,

Tony Harrison, every time I read your posts, i get an obscene desire to put, 'THIS IS AN OUTRAAAAAGE'

[Bondy]

Seeing a girl, her ex-bf is in essence what one would call 'a c*nt', hes been to prison a couple of times for robbery and GBH and basically wont leave her alone at all, he sends her about 20-30 texts a day, usually one saying how much he still loves her and wants her back, then the other calling her every name possible, the reason they split up was that he screwed her best mate..classy, and she wont change her number because it will just make him mad even moreso so she says.

Now he's threatening to beat up her dad and me aswell obviously and shes worried that i wil get hurt as he's apparently 'well hard' , even though if you saw him you definitely would think otherwise as he just looks like a skinny guy that thinks hes a gangster and all i have is her word on him being someone to not come across, although to be honest, anyone could go to prison, its just the normal people who dont go around doing whatever the hell they like because we arent all tossers.

What the hell am i supposed to do, she wont go out into town because she knows he will be out in the same place, she wont go out certain places with me either as she's worried he will do something if we come across him even though ive told her plenty of times he can go for it, as soon as he does its straight back to prison anyway if hes that much of a douchebag to actually try it, but apparently i just 'dont understand' what he's like. She wont just tell him she's even seeing me as she's worried what will happen.

We've been together 3 months now, and we're really happy together apart from this one thing, is it really worth the hassle?

So what would you do? (apart from get a bunch of mates and baseball bats and beat the shit out of him lol)

Edited August 7, 2008 by Bondy

[Hendrix]

If he has a history of being violent, maybe it's worth having a chat to the old bill?

He could just be mouthing off, but if you can have him sent down for some serious time, then you may be safer. Then again, when he gets out; eek!

I seriously wouldn't know exactly what to do though, sorry dude.

[Token]

I'd go to the police, explain the situation and see what they recommend. Regarding him constantly harassing her with messages, it would be a good idea to phone up her provider and get his number blocked, he wont realise that the messages aren't getting through and she can keep the same number. The furthest I can see this going is him getting a restraining order where he wouldn't be aloud within 100 meters of you, so if you were in a club and he was in there, he would have to leave or go back to court and potentially prison. Just take the first step in talking to the police an sharing your concerns with them, explain everything about how your both scared to go out an the constant harassment each day for her an they will have to do something about it.

[hI-OOPS-CAPS]

yeah on the radio, the police do have an advert sayin 'got a problem? speak to the police' and its exactly the thing they want you to phone in for.

[Has anyone seen my shoe?]

Police is a good option, though while your gf might not like it, dont do it behind her back either

[JonMack]

She just came online, would have been two months today. Just hit me, but it's all good. Hopefully we will end up as friends again one day.

[Mike Winton.]

She just came online, would have been two months today. Just hit me, but it's all good. Hopefully we will end up as friends again one day.

Atleast its happened this early though dude, better than it happening six months or a year down the line i suppose

constant arguments with gf

[JonMack]

Yeah definitely man, just little things like that kinda hit me but then it just goes away straight after. Just reading over shit she said to me in the past and then thinking about what happened last weekend just really makes me think. I guess I've just gotta stop trusting so easy, or just think f**k it and get on with things

[JD™]

Hopefully this doesn't sound like I'm pissing on your problems Jon, as that's not how it is. I have the opposite feelings. It's 2 years today for me and emily and it's hit me that it's basically now that I choose whether we're going to be together for as long as possible or cut it now... It's a weird feeling..

[JonMack]

Must be quite a hard decision to make. Can you see yourself with her in 1/3/5 years time? If you're having doubts then might be worth talking to her about it?

[Caleb]

Seeing a girl, her ex-bf is in essence what one would call 'a c*nt', hes been to prison a couple of times for robbery and GBH and basically wont leave her alone at all, he sends her about 20-30 texts a day, usually one saying how much he still loves her and wants her back, then the other calling her every name possible, the reason they split up was that he screwed her best mate..classy, and she wont change her number because it will just make him mad even moreso so she says.

Now he's threatening to beat up her dad and me aswell obviously and shes worried that i wil get hurt as he's apparently 'well hard' , even though if you saw him you definitely would think otherwise as he just looks like a skinny guy that thinks hes a gangster and all i have is her word on him being someone to not come across, although to be honest, anyone could go to prison, its just the normal people who dont go around doing whatever the hell they like because we arent all tossers.

What the hell am i supposed to do, she wont go out into town because she knows he will be out in the same place, she wont go out certain places with me either as she's worried he will do something if we come across him even though ive told her plenty of times he can go for it, as soon as he does its straight back to prison anyway if hes that much of a douchebag to actually try it, but apparently i just 'dont understand' what he's like. She wont just tell him she's even seeing me as she's worried what will happen.

We've been together 3 months now, and we're really happy together apart from this one thing, is it really worth the hassle?

So what would you do? (apart from get a bunch of mates and baseball bats and beat the shit out of him lol)

He does sound a c*nt, you're right. Seems a bit wierd how she wont change her number, that would be my first step then all he could do is turn up at her house?

then if he does that get her to file for a restraining order . But from what you wrote she doesnt seem to bothered? would definitely piss me off alot.

What do you reckon would happen if you and your mates without your girlfriend went to a club where he was going to be etc?

Edited August 8, 2008 by Caleb

[Bondy]

He does sound a c*nt, you're right. Seems a bit wierd how she wont change her number, that would be my first step then all he could do is turn up at her house?

then if he does that get her to file for a restraining order . But from what you wrote she doesnt seem to bothered? would definitely piss me off alot.

What do you reckon would happen if you and your mates without your girlfriend went to a club where he was going to be etc?

Cheers for the replies guys, i think i need to have a sit down with her and her parents and talk about what to do as its getting silly now.

we will find out tonight because im out in town with my mates and so is he, im not the smallest of chaps but then im not one that goes out looking for a fight either, plus it wouldnt really achieve anything anyway, although to be honest i have bumped into him atleast 3 times during all of this when hes been alone and ive been alone and he's done nothing apart from just stare at me and keep on walking, which just makes me think hes just trying to intimidate her more than anything by saying the things he does, yet i dont know what hes trying to achieve by doing it?

and yeh she is really bothered, she rings me up at night because she's crying about something he's said to her this time or said he would do to her family, he even sends her texts that he pretends he was supposed to send to his friends but sends to her by accident atleast one every 2 days, just to get some sort of reply off of her, hes quite pathetic, i dont know why she was with him in the first place he is totally not the kinda guy she has gone with before.

She wont change her number because she thinks it will get him even more mad and make him do something

theres some right weird people about!

Edited August 8, 2008 by Bondy

[Towler]

Cheers for the replies guys, i think i need to have a sit down with her and her parents and talk about what to do as its getting silly now.

we will find out tonight because im out in town with my mates and so is he, im not the smallest of chaps but then im not one that goes out looking for a fight either, plus it wouldnt really achieve anything anyway, although to be honest i have bumped into him atleast 3 times during all of this when hes been alone and ive been alone and he's done nothing apart from just stare at me and keep on walking, which just makes me think hes just trying to intimidate her more than anything by saying the things he does, yet i dont know what hes trying to achieve by doing it?

and yeh she is really bothered, she rings me up at night because she's crying about something he's said to her this time or said he would do to her family, he even sends her texts that he pretends he was supposed to send to his friends but sends to her by accident atleast one every 2 days, just to get some sort of reply off of her, hes quite pathetic, i dont know why she was with him in the first place he is totally not the kinda guy she has gone with before.

She wont change her number because she thinks it will get him even more mad and make him do something

theres some right weird people about!

I have always been told not to worrie about the people that say they are going to do something, its the ones that dont say they are going to do something you should worrie about. Should just get her to change her number!

[Has anyone seen my shoe?]

Yeah id say he was just a big pretender who likes to think he can itimidate people.

So he's been to prison, but for what? Probably a crap charge and he just uses that info to brag.

Personally Bond if I were you I wouldnt be to bothered about what he could potentially do, just worry about what he is doing and find a way of sorting it (i.e. phone the polizei)

[Mike Winton.]

.

Edited May 11, 2020 by Mike Winton.

[Z o o !!]

Hm, "You know when you've been tango'd" springs to mind.

Tricky one thouggh ? Does she know that you know ?

[Mike Winton.]

Mark King said:

Yeah definitely man, just little things like that kinda hit me but then it just goes away straight after. Just reading over shit she said to me in the past and then thinking about what happened last weekend just really makes me think. I guess I've just gotta stop trusting so easy, or just think f**k it and get on with things

 

Edited May 11, 2020 by Mike Winton.

[Captain Scarlet]

Well thats shit.

Basically, I got with a girl, did some stuff had a rate good time, blahhh-deee-blaahhhh.

Then she texts me saying "Do you round to sleep round THIS boy's house with me?".

Up until now THIS boy was not liked by the girl as THIS boy had screwed around with the girl's friends.

The girl goes round THIS boy's with some girl friends, apparently she got proper drunk, THIS boy was completely sober, and THIS boy then did things to and with the girl.

Now the girl is all like "Oh THIS boy is a cock, I bloody hate him, I wanted him to stop etc, I feel so bad now, I love you" to me, and she is telling me that she misses me, and wants to know if we will ever get back together again.

Now she's like "I feel awful, you must hate me etc".

I told her that my perception of "us" has changed, I can't really see her the same and that it was her own fault as she knows what the boy is like (he has done worse than this situation).

Now I feel really bad, she did a really big thing my telling me about it so its a courageous thing to do, so now I feel bad by telling her how I feel about it, I mean afterall she could have just not told me the whole thing happened at all.

Ah gawd.

Edited August 8, 2008 by Albino Slig

[JonMack]

Ex text me today telling me she still wanted to be friends, then I text her back a 3 page message and she replied saying "i know" so i said "theres not a lot i can say to that so when you feel like talking again you know where i am. take care" she replied with "but" then "i felt like talking now" then i still didnt reply and she replied with "hm"

I don't wanna play hard to get, but if she wants to talk she needs to put in a bit of effort to be able to make conversatoin.

Basically she's had 4 days of me not talking to her and it's hit her like a sack of bricks so she wants to be mates again. We'll see...

[Mike Winton.]

Mark King said:

Ex text me today telling me she still wanted to be friends, then I text her back a 3 page message and she replied saying "i know" so i said "theres not a lot i can say to that so when you feel like talking again you know where i am. take care" she replied with "but" then "i felt like talking now" then i still didnt reply and she replied with "hm"

I don't wanna play hard to get, but if she wants to talk she needs to put in a bit of effort to be able to make conversatoin.

Basically she's had 4 days of me not talking to her and it's hit her like a sack of bricks so she wants to be mates again. We'll see...

 

Edited May 11, 2020 by Mike Winton.

[I-LikeMatchesDerFun]

Ex text me today telling me she still wanted to be friends, then I text her back a 3 page message and she replied saying "i know" so i said "theres not a lot i can say to that so when you feel like talking again you know where i am. take care" she replied with "but" then "i felt like talking now" then i still didnt reply and she replied with "hm"

I don't wanna play hard to get, but if she wants to talk she needs to put in a bit of effort to be able to make conversatoin.

Basically she's had 4 days of me not talking to her and it's hit her like a sack of bricks so she wants to be mates again. We'll see...

Something similar when me and my ex broke up. We did stay mates, and do chat now and again. Though, her being in Mexico for the last 6 months didn’t help things….

On topic, basicly Jon, if she texts, reply. But I’m not going to say whether you initiate the texting. It sounds like you want her back, as I did with me ex. If ye can still stay mates that’s good, if it goes back to old times, It’s a bonus! See how it goes.

Steve

Edited August 9, 2008 by I-LikeMatchesDerFun

[Captain Scarlet]

Ah god the girl is getting on my nerves now.

She's saying how I upset her as she "trusted and really liked/fancied me", and says that she couldn't exactly control THIS boy's actions, so I tell her that she didn't have to stay around THIS boy's or even drink as that is ultimately what caused this situation.

So she starts off blaming THIS boy, and then when I tell her how the whole situation could have been prevented she's all; "oh its my fault, I feel so awful for what I have done, blame me etc", as though that is going to change my opinion.

Now she's saying weird things like; "I feel awful ", its like what is the smiley all about?

But then again it does lead to the question, if she hadn't have told me what happened with THIS boy, would have I been better off?

[Fish-Finger-er]

grrrr....why are decisions so hard to make.

got a couple of options at the moment.

next friday some fit, but ultimately annoying, and slightly skettish (but very fit) girl has invited me over to hers. id be a pleb not too, as she is a+, but i just dont want too.

then theres 2 girls im kind of semi interested in, 1 is renowned as a bit of a hoe(not that she gets around loads, but just that shes into short term flings) which i cant really be bothered with right now, but i do really like her, both as a person and because shes fit, but a fair few of my female mates hate her.

the second is what i thought was way out of my league, till she invited me round to hers last weekend, i turned it down, just out of politeness(i know she doesnt sleep with guys for a couple of weeks into a relationship, and it was just for a cuddle and to watch a dvd together,but i was majorly drunk, so thought best not too) and i really really like her too, and shes not a hoe in the slightest, but shes mates with a lot of my female mates, which i can see makes things awkward, as by now theyve probably warned her of me, being a total slag that doesnt really do long term stuff. and also ill get the biggest earful off them all, and probably lose some mates if/when i f**k it up.

also do you ever get random dreams of girls from ages back, i had a random dream involving a girl i pulled over a year and a half ago, and havent spoke to now for over a year last night, and its just made me want her like crazy, shes quite pretty, but not all that, but i dont know, she was just soo nice, and soo cool. grrr... my balls ache now.

as for mr mack, to me it seems like you just want her to want you, like some kind of self validation thing, by her begging you to speak to her, you kinda get one up on her/make yourself feel better, which if it is what you want, fair enough. if you actually want to be friends with her, man up, and do it, just ring her rather than text her, and go look " we fecked up, we both fecked up, its over between us, but your an awesome person,and id really like to keep you as a friend".

if you want her back as your girlfriend, then its one of two things, either 1) your a chump and she can play you, or 2) shes the one... you need to work that one out for yourself.

[Ryan.]

Kissed the new fit girl after work today, after that she then decides to say she has a bf...turns out to be someone i know...she wants to tell him but thing is i didn't know