Davey Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Fact is, once a cheater always a cheater, or at least always the risk of them being a cheater. If someone has that mentallity, unless they really love you and had a really good reason to do it, the likelihood is they just like a bit of fun and you're not providing it, so they'll probably do it again, and even if they don't you'll always think they're gonna.I'm all for giving people second chances for a quiet life, but I gotta say I think you need to move on. By all means poke her to your hearts content if she's game, but anything meaningful is just not gonna work out.Davey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolver Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 My mate's dad called it being desensitized. It means its less of a moral issue for someone to do something when they've experienced it before.For example, cheating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Yeah, but I think it's more just because you use it to justify it to yourself, so you don't get the guilt. You tell yourself you're allowed, like you've earned it because it's been done to you. But if you really want to cheat there's plenty of ways of justifying it to yourself. I made a rule once that it wasn't cheating if you didn't kiss them, because kissing means intimacy has happened, and that's emotional and therefore proper cheating. So if bascially they're an object to you then it's ok, I mean your missus lets you look at porn and that's ok so it's no different right? But if your missus did that and said to you "It's ok because I didn't kiss him" then you'd hardly go "Oh ok, that's fine then, as long as you weren't intimate", haha.Either way you look at it, cheating is wrong, but shit happens. If you think you can forgive this girl then go for it, but don't be surprised if it happens again dude!Davey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan. Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Yeah, but I think it's more just because you use it to justify it to yourself, so you don't get the guilt. You tell yourself you're allowed, like you've earned it because it's been done to you. But if you really want to cheat there's plenty of ways of justifying it to yourself. I made a rule once that it wasn't cheating if you didn't kiss them, because kissing means intimacy has happened, and that's emotional and therefore proper cheating. So if bascially they're an object to you then it's ok, I mean your missus lets you look at porn and that's ok so it's no different right? But if your missus did that and said to you "It's ok because I didn't kiss him" then you'd hardly go "Oh ok, that's fine then, as long as you weren't intimate", haha.Either way you look at it, cheating is wrong, but shit happens. If you think you can forgive this girl then go for it, but don't be surprised if it happens again dude!Daveywoah man havent seen you on here for ages! its sheringham trials btw, if you cna remember me?thats amazing advice man, but i just dont want to lose her, i mean shes is/was the best thing thats happened to me in ages.she seems like she's accepted the responsibility for it, which is a step in the right direction i guess...but at the moment im just constantly worrying that its a load of bollox and it's just gonna happen again....but then on the other hand i believe her when shes says it wont happen again...man im such a mess i keep contradicting myself about it i'll let it play along and see what happens because i dont wanna let her go... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 woah man havent seen you on here for ages! its sheringham trials btw, if you cna remember me?thats amazing advice man, but i just dont want to lose her, i mean shes is/was the best thing thats happened to me in ages.she seems like she's accepted the responsibility for it, which is a step in the right direction i guess...but at the moment im just constantly worrying that its a load of bollox and it's just gonna happen again....but then on the other hand i believe her when shes says it wont happen again...man im such a mess i keep contradicting myself about it i'll let it play along and see what happens because i dont wanna let her go...Erm, yeah I think I remember, a small matter of £100, haha. Good to hear from you mate!Well it doesn't sounds good man I gotta say. In a way if she'd just got with someone at a party that would still be bad but at least you could tell yourself it was a mistake and she just had a moment of madness or whatever. But she's been thinking about this guy, wanting him, telling him that she wants him, and thinking of ways of getting rid of you. Now in my book that's worse than shagging somone, I come back to my point about it only being cheating if there's feelings involved, that is essentially bollox and it's cheating either way, but in terms of what can be forgiven I think physical indulgence can be forgiven, but falling for someone else is pretty much a deal breaker. So, as hard as it seems now, if you're asking my honest opinion then you need to stand up for yourself and let her go. Tell her you're setting her free and she's getting what she wanted, if she's at all human that'll make her feel well guilty. But the honest best thing for you to do is get out there and d*ck some other girls, not to make her jealous, just to make you feel better and remind you there's other fish in the sea. It's very theraputic believe me. You need to come to terms with the fact she's not the girl you think she is and therefore not the girl you think you love. You WILL get over it, she's not the only girl out there. Believe me there are WAY better girls, who are nicer and hotter and more faithful and if you're really lucky they'll even let you give them bum love. You could do so much better!!Davey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Davey?Jesus Christ! You've not been here for - yonks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Plod Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 (edited) Right getting on quite well with a lady and took her to the cinema last night and then out for a drink so we could have a talk. Got all cosy and snuggled up and it was really nice. She wants me to take the weekend off work now so we can go out.I live in London so getting around isn't a problem... Just stuck for ideas for things we can do? Any suggestions? I was thinking a look around the shops, a bite to eat, go for a walk around and maybe go and laze in the park for a bit... Any other suggestions? Edited July 21, 2008 by Mr Plod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyoyo Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 (edited) i'll let it play along and see what happens because i dont wanna let her go...People learn from their mistakes...Sadly in this case it could be that she learns to hide her msn history better.I've never met the two of you so obiously i can't make any real judgments cause i don't know how your relationship is. But even if she ceases contact with him you'll still have that niggling thought in your head that she could be lying to you again.Depends how much you can trust her really. Edited July 21, 2008 by Bob Fossil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Right getting on quite well with a lady and took her to the cinema last night and then out for a drink so we could have a talk. Got all cosy and snuggled up and it was really nice. She wants me to take the weekend off work now so we can go out.I love in London so getting around isn't a problem... Just stuck for ideas for things we can do? Any suggestions? I was thinking a look around the shops, a bite to eat, go for a walk around and maybe go and laze in the park for a bit... Any other suggestions?River boat trips are great, I've found, with girls.If she's got an artistic side to her, take her to Tate Modern.Covent Garden is great too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Davey?Jesus Christ! You've not been here for - yonks.Hey dude. Yeah, it's been a while, good to be back though!Davey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Plod Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 River boat trips are great, I've found, with girls.If she's got an artistic side to her, take her to Tate Modern.Covent Garden is great too.Yeah never thought about riverboats... Yeah Covent Gardens good I know. What about London Zoo and London Eye? What are the chances of me getting tickets for both these on such short notice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Yeah never thought about riverboats... Yeah Covent Gardens good I know. What about London Zoo and London Eye? What are the chances of me getting tickets for both these on such short notice?They're not gonna be cheap, but you can probably get some off last minute.comAnother great place is the absolute ice bar, assuming she's 18. It's a novel way of getting a bit tipsy at the end of the date. It's wicked, you go there and it's like £15 to get in, and you get a cocktail with that. They give you these thermal cloaks and you go in and it's all made of ide, including the shot glasses. It's a wicked laugh!Davey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 They're not gonna be cheap, but you can probably get some off last minute.comAnother great place is the absolute ice bar, assuming she's 18. It's a novel way of getting a bit tipsy at the end of the date. It's wicked, you go there and it's like £15 to get in, and you get a cocktail with that. They give you these thermal cloaks and you go in and it's all made of ide, including the shot glasses. It's a wicked laugh!DaveyYou've inspired me dude.I'm gonna go and check that place out. Is it evening only, do you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 You've inspired me dude.I'm gonna go and check that place out. Is it evening only, do you know?Not sure, check out www.belowzerolondon.com/icebar, I think you might have to call them Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Plod Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 They're not gonna be cheap, but you can probably get some off last minute.comAnother great place is the absolute ice bar, assuming she's 18. It's a novel way of getting a bit tipsy at the end of the date. It's wicked, you go there and it's like £15 to get in, and you get a cocktail with that. They give you these thermal cloaks and you go in and it's all made of ide, including the shot glasses. It's a wicked laugh!DaveyHaha! I went there for my mates 18th! Was wicked but I'm not exactly keen on vodka though...Money doesn't really matter though. Haha I sound so stuck up when I say that though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Scarlet Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 but now i just get butterflys in my stomach thinking about what she could be doing.....does my head inI know the feeling mate, the feeling that you don't know if she's actually thinking about you or not, or whether she cares at all.If she is really that bad though mate your just gonna have to let go, as I said the more you think of it the worse and harder it will be for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_ Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, when did davey come back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bitemybutt Posted July 21, 2008 Report Share Posted July 21, 2008 In relation to Ryan's problem: You're young by the sounds of it, so just move on. If you are that convinced she's going to cheat on you then the's something up with the relationship. Plus, you need to enjoy being young and doing the things YOU want to do. I've just come out of a 5 year relationship (since I was 18) and f**k ME the is so much I missed out on because of it. If you are worried about making a decision, just go with your gut instinct. Don't waste your life being miserable like you are at the moment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hendrix Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Davey?Jesus Christ! You've not been here for - yonks.Hey dude. Yeah, it's been a while, good to be back though!DaveyWhoa, Whoa, Whoa, when did davey come back?He never really said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 He never really said I came back on Thursday I think it was. I was chatting to Jon (poopipe) on MSN and heard about Beau and Janson and Oli and couldn't believe it. It made me miss this place and all the people, and I was amazed to find that I could get on here at work, because chat rooms are blocked on our server. So here I am, gotta be careful not to tan it though or I'll get banned again, lol!Davey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Right.My problem is - Every time i get with a laydeeeee they have ALWAYS broken up with me because as soon as i get around women i'm an absolute gent, and they seem to get jealious of the fact that i'm *nice* to other women. And obviously, argueing with the bird your with over another girl you simply know makes you go through women twice as quick.So now i find myself not knowing any women that i can talk to ! I walk down all but a few streets in Basingstoke or Guildford and i know every person who lives in every house.And i don't know what to do now. I need a woman becuse i cannot live alone, but i can't find one because i've fallen out with or embarrased all of the women i will ever meet in the places i live ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCircus Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 So now i find myself not knowing any women that i can talk to ! I walk down all but a few streets in Basingstoke or Guildford and i know every person who lives in every house.What incomprehensible babble are you even trying to type? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 What incomprehensible babble are you even trying to type?Rofl.I know everybody already so i can't meet anybody new ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCircus Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 Rofl.I know everybody already so i can't meet anybody new ?I don't even know what to say to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted July 22, 2008 Report Share Posted July 22, 2008 I don't even know what to say to you.rofl..Words cannot describe quite how funny i found that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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