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Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread


Has anyone seen my shoe?

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me and one of my best friends have fallen for each other, spent the last week and a half together, everyday... havent stopped laughing. she told me shes liked me since we were 13... i dent know haha. strange thing is, we thought we knew each other so well having been friends for years, and now its like we have only just met. :|

damn.

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Right i don't do relationships but somehow ended up in 1 by a twist of fate. Shes beautifull, funny, exciting, been going out for over a month.... but

i just dont feel IT, she keeps texting me saying how im her life and stuff.... and i just feel really guilty for not feeling the same about her when i really should...

I mean i know if i am going to break up with her then ill wait will after our exams (about the 20th) cos' if she really does like me that much I don't want her to f**k up her exams.... i just don't understand how i don't like her like i should..... hmmm

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To a certain extent you do like her otherwise you'd be outta there now. I'd say give it abit longer. I've been goin out with this lass for just under two month and after the two week marker of seeing her once every 3 or 4 nights and a weekend night I began getting sick of her. I really fncied her before we went out and when we did start going out and it felt like I just didn't anymore. I didn't want to finish it because I've ruined my chances with so many girls by finishing them and becoming huge enimies with their parents/friends/brother/sisters etc so I though to just try longer. Then Christmas came by and I totally changed, we gave and recieved presents (nothing rude meant by that) and it wasn't what she got me or anything but just the experience of being with her over Christmas. A similar thing on New year, we went to a party together which I wasn't looking forward to but it was much better her being there and we had to be out early the next morning so she came back to mine and we slept all day. It was really really good. Long story short, give it abit more time.

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me and one of my best friends have fallen for each other, spent the last week and a half together, everyday... havent stopped laughing. she told me shes liked me since we were 13... i dent know haha. strange thing is, we thought we knew each other so well having been friends for years, and now its like we have only just met. :|

damn.

Definatly go for it.

You can't have gf, and no be her best friend. And becuase your only young (i think) you've probably just starter to notice her in that kind of way.

Best possible foundation for a relationship if you ask me.

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I'm guessing you've known her longer than that or else she seems a bit possessive or psycho for saying you're her life after such a short time frame.

Well thats kinda the thing.... not really..... not a lot longer than a month to be honest, i mean we started the college year in September together.... but.... not really like best budds or anything..... i think im just a bit like.... ah commitment run away!

Cos i really do hate being in relationships.... im young i go out get rat assed, and have too many mates, places to ride, work, school work.... i just don't have time... but i just cant understand why i dont like her

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A relationship saved my life a while ago, if I hadn't found a girlfriend then drugs, drinking and afew slightly more illegal things would of got VERY out of hand but she saved me really and has kept me..behaving well to say the least but at the same time it has f**ked up my school work because I have seen her lots and not tried to fit work in and now I can't concentrate on work, which is what I should be doign now, so be careful. I think if yout try to keep things under control a relationship is the best thing you can do. But it can also f**k everything up.

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i think im just a bit like.... ah commitment run away!

Cos i really do hate being in relationships.... im young i go out get rat assed, and have too many mates, places to ride, work, school work.... i just don't have time... but i just cant understand why i dont like her

im the same, and its nothing you can explain ive had girls way fitter than i should of been able to get, and mates tell me im a d*ck for not sticking with them, but its just one of those things. there seems to be little fun in it once your an item.sometimes it not even like the girls being that restrictive on you, you still see your mates and everything. but then you start to feel like your treating her like crap, and she just dont care. so you either end up thinking "f**k it we might as well not be together, im treating her like a doormat" or you think "ha this is great i can do what i want and shes still with me" but then if your doing what you want, its like "do i really want a relationship at all"

i also kinda like the lack of planning or foresight needed to do anything, can just bugger off wherever whenever to do whatever with whoever at a moments notice. a girlfriend seriously removes that.

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i also kinda like the lack of planning or foresight needed to do anything, can just bugger off wherever whenever to do whatever with whoever at a moments notice. a girlfriend seriously removes that.

very true - but when you don't have a missus you do actually have to get off your arse and go out in the cold to get some poon so it's a double edged sword

oh,

i love you too jake

Edited by poopipe
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everything is so f**ked so completely f**ked...

i want to be with my ex.. i broke up with her for the 2nd time 2 days ago because my parents found out i was still seeing her... my mom constantly drinking and my dad going mental at me for even going out with her in the first place since she is a gold digger supposidly. After over 6 months of being with her its f**kin killing me seeing her single and not with me... she says she doesnt want to move on and still loves me etc but i know within a couple of weeks she can easily have as many guys as she wants. I on the other hand cant move on like that i dont even want to move on.. she says the same but i feel like things will soon change. Basically i want to be with her.. but i dont see how i can be a boyfriend too her when i have to keep it all a secret... it was a long distance realtionship as it was.. but now its like i dont have a clue when i would be able to see her without the parents finding out. She doesnt want me to cut her off..she wants me to be here for her cos she still has feelings and atleast wants me in her life as a friend.. but in my heart its going to kill me seeing her flirting with blokes and going out all the time ... its selfish i know and i can go and do whatever i want but i seriously dont see any of that happening any time soon. Its like when people say.. i dont care who you go out with just as long as you are happy.. but for me.. its like.. i dont want to see her happy with someone else.. i just want her happy with me like we were until my parents got shitty and pretty much made us break up ( giving me an ultimatum ).

Soo... shit the last few days has been bad.. lots of mind games between us.. and i dont like it.. everyone says cut her off its the only way to get over it.. but i know if i cut her off.. theres no chance of me being able to talk to her again.. cos if i see her with someone else its going to crush me no matter what so i would need this to be a real cut off.. no friends shit in a few months kinda thing. Its the first time ive ever had a break up where it hasnt been me hating them for a reason or like i f**k up so they have a reason to leave.. its like neither of us has a reason to hate eachother it was forced to end.. well before we wanted it to. However now i feel like she has kind of given up fighting for us to get back together.. im in a bollocks situation.. i either lose her.. or lose my parents.. family are blood.. but i really do beleive they got the completely wrong end of the stick.. if they had just mentioned to me how they felt at the start none of this would have even happened.. its the fact they said they liked her for so long then suddenly one day turned round and went mental at me calling her every word they could think of.

Urgh wtf to do... if my parents said they would drop being cocks about all of this i would be back with her right this second no doubt.. but the fact that going behind their backs.. i got such a massive feeling of guilt.. it hurts too. So either way im completely f**ked.. and before anyone says the whole "f**k what your parents think"... its really not that simple.

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Why do your parents THINK she's a golddigger then? I know most parents are completely irrational at times but something must have triggered that thought process off? That's where you need to try and drill into them that they're wrong, if you're going to convince them at all. If your parents are like most (ignorant) people they'd hear the whole "she has a single mum on a council estate etc (I think that's what you said?)" and immediatly jump to that thinking especially with it being their money (atm) they think she's digging for. You need to make them rethink and not apply such a stereotype to her. Have they met her at all?

Also taking what you said earlier about them cutting you off, how about you get a loan like the rest of us ;) Would only have to be a short term one too. (Y)

You're in your final year of a masters degree, you'll be earning plenty in no time you muppet! But then again I understand what you say about family being blood and it not being all that simple.

It's a sticky situation but to be honest it sounds to me from your viewpoint that the only options are to either convince them that she's not a money grabbing whore or to cut HER off. Unless you decide she means more to you than your parents but seems you've already decided on that one.

Good luck man, sounds proper shit, we've all heard how down you've been about it recently. Keep your head up and push on through :)

Edited by Shaun H
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They think she is a gold digger purely because of the amount of money i spent on her and travelling. I was spending like nearly £200 a weekend.. for about.. 3 months or longer..basically ive spent probably £3k in 6 months or a bit more. They think she was asking for stuff.. but it was me doing it i was the one that was buying her shit cos i felt like a crap boyfriend only ever seeing her once in a while so we would go out to eat etc and shopping etc etc... but she never really asked for anything it was always me suggesting it.. but then my parents were always like make sure u buy jess something dont be mean to her etc. Then i find out that they hadnt been telling me exactly how bad it all was.. like little stuff like that could have been stopped so early on hence why i said.. i wish they had just f**king told me about stuff early on and they didnt.. they kept it all inside and therefore there was the major f**k up that is currently going on.

I sat in her house with her mom and i said to her if parents cut me off then fair enough ill just get through uni and be done with it all... however its a lot deeper than that.. its the fact i wouldnt be able to see them etc thats shit.. urgh.. wank situation overall.. trying the friends thing atm

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I looked on your profile and your 21. If you really love her by the sounds of it you do then you need to sort it out with your mum and dad because trying to do it secretly will just put strain on the relationship as im sure it has done when you was together.

Sit your mum and dad down and just tell them they need to stop being twats your 21 you can do what you want, you understand that they are looking out for you maybe but you love her ect and it isnt right what there doing. Just tell them why she isnt a gold digger and why youve spent so much money on her and that if they dont let go and stop going mental and stuff its them that will suffer as they will just drive you away from them. It sounds the only way by telling them how you feel and stuff. Its either that or forget about her however hard it is. f you do decide to tell your parents then may be try writing your thoughts down as they go running through your head it may make it easy when it comes to ranting at them. And while your at it if your mum is a alcholic tell her that may be she should get help and that you would support her if she did (assumeing she is form what you said )

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I looked on your profile and your 21. If you really love her by the sounds of it you do then you need to sort it out with your mum and dad because trying to do it secretly will just put strain on the relationship as im sure it has done when you was together.

Sit your mum and dad down and just tell them they need to stop being twats your 21 you can do what you want, you understand that they are looking out for you maybe but you love her ect and it isnt right what there doing. Just tell them why she isnt a gold digger and why youve spent so much money on her and that if they dont let go and stop going mental and stuff its them that will suffer as they will just drive you away from them. It sounds the only way by telling them how you feel and stuff. Its either that or forget about her however hard it is. f you do decide to tell your parents then may be try writing your thoughts down as they go running through your head it may make it easy when it comes to ranting at them. And while your at it if your mum is a alcholic tell her that may be she should get help and that you would support her if she did (assumeing she is form what you said )

Done all of that to be honest.. done it twice. The day i left her house to come home for christmas ( i saw her on way down) she told me to fight for her.. she heard my dad shouting down the phone at me calling her all these names etc.. and ... i did fight for her the best i could. But to be honest its just past being f**ked now.. there is no changing how the feel they are set in stone. I've said myself.. im 21 if you think im making a mistake have everything i have back that you gave me and let me go off and make this mistake on my own. You need to learn lessons in life and its as if they are trying to avert me making one.. just because they dont want to see me get f**ked over.. but whats to say when they die i dont go an make an even bigger mistake?.. out of all of this though the most annoying thing is that what if you have missed out on the girl that was right for you? sure theres others etc, but at the moment i feel like i will always be comparing them to her.. they seriously have got a lot to live up to and i know thats wrong to do .. but f**k.. i never wanted it to end. Its like i said to my her.. for all we know we might have broken up a week later through normal regular relationship shit.. but its the fact we were forced to end early that is leaving everything f**ked.. because theres no real closer.. im having to force it to happen.

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Done all of that to be honest.. done it twice. The day i left her house to come home for christmas ( i saw her on way down) she told me to fight for her.. she heard my dad shouting down the phone at me calling her all these names etc.. and ... i did fight for her the best i could. But to be honest its just past being f**ked now.. there is no changing how the feel they are set in stone. I've said myself.. im 21 if you think im making a mistake have everything i have back that you gave me and let me go off and make this mistake on my own. You need to learn lessons in life and its as if they are trying to avert me making one.. just because they dont want to see me get f**ked over.. but whats to say when they die i dont go an make an even bigger mistake?.. out of all of this though the most annoying thing is that what if you have missed out on the girl that was right for you? sure theres others etc, but at the moment i feel like i will always be comparing them to her.. they seriously have got a lot to live up to and i know thats wrong to do .. but f**k.. i never wanted it to end. Its like i said to my her.. for all we know we might have broken up a week later through normal regular relationship shit.. but its the fact we were forced to end early that is leaving everything f**ked.. because theres no real closer.. im having to force it to happen.

To keep it short:

Ignore the parents and just go for the girl, she is someone who makes you happy, happier than your parents in fact.

That should be enough reason for you to choose the girl over your parents.

Personally, I never made a difference between humans, family or not, they are still humans.

I would probably choose some frieds over my brother, just because he shares the same blood asm me doesn't mean that he is more of a human being and that I should choose him over others for that reason.

The point I'm trying to make; Just choose for the thing that makes you happier.

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Done all of that to be honest.. done it twice. The day i left her house to come home for christmas ( i saw her on way down) she told me to fight for her.. she heard my dad shouting down the phone at me calling her all these names etc.. and ... i did fight for her the best i could. But to be honest its just past being f**ked now.. there is no changing how the feel they are set in stone. I've said myself.. im 21 if you think im making a mistake have everything i have back that you gave me and let me go off and make this mistake on my own. You need to learn lessons in life and its as if they are trying to avert me making one.. just because they dont want to see me get f**ked over.. but whats to say when they die i dont go an make an even bigger mistake?.. out of all of this though the most annoying thing is that what if you have missed out on the girl that was right for you? sure theres others etc, but at the moment i feel like i will always be comparing them to her.. they seriously have got a lot to live up to and i know thats wrong to do .. but f**k.. i never wanted it to end. Its like i said to my her.. for all we know we might have broken up a week later through normal regular relationship shit.. but its the fact we were forced to end early that is leaving everything f**ked.. because theres no real closer.. im having to force it to happen.

It all sounds like a shitter mate, it sounds like youve have to make a choice between family and her and im sure thats fooking hard and would never like to be in that situation meself. I think you should get back with her because it sounds like you really love her (make sure she feels same if your chooseing her over family) and say to your dad, me and ( insert her name ) are getting back together you carry on with how you are and youll only push me away from you your asking me to make a decision between someone i love and my family your making my life hell. And just see how life goes, your 21 so you have plenty of your like left to find someone else if things do go shit with her as theres always someone better for you out there and never just one true love for you, you will just regret it for rest of your life if you let your dad win and you try and forget her

but its always hard to say something when we dont no you properly, but i hope you make the right decision and things sort themselves out.

Edited by basher
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