dann2707 Posted February 17, 2016 Report Share Posted February 17, 2016 (edited) I'd probably just message her saying what you're doing. Or even not say a thing and just block her from life. It's why it pains me to keep friends with exes. Because as soon as you see them pop up on Facebook your mind starts wondering and you're back to square one. Or if you see them with another guy tagged in a pic you end up beating yourself up. It's simply not worth the aggro. Or if you change your profile pic and she likes it you're back thinking about her/ the situation. Edited February 17, 2016 by dann2707 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King C Posted February 17, 2016 Report Share Posted February 17, 2016 I was see a girl I work with, in the same office, within eye shot of each other. She got drunk one night and ended up getting with another engineer I work with and now they're seeing each other. I see her everyday, I see them both everyday and I still really like her and did hang out with her for a couple of months after but I've had to completely avoid talking to her because I know how much harder it would be if I did. Its the hardest thing I've had to do and still hate it but I'm getting used to it and so can you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 9 hours ago, Jolfa said: Stop hurting yourself. It's over. BOOM. Headshot. I broke up with my first proper gf and after about 2 months I ended up back underneath her when she was having a low. This strung me along for a bit longer and I just felt 100000x worse off afterwards for doing it. Just cut ties, go find another porridge to stir and you'll forget all about her. Going out for the day with her doesn't mean that she still feels for you, or wants you back, just means she was having a low and needed a pickup. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 Don't listen to them. String yourself along on the vague hope that she might miraculously change the way she feels. Offer to film her with her new guy when that happens, girls like nice guys. When it hurts, just cry into your pillow and tell everyone you're fine the next day. When you haven't heard from her for 24 hours, be sure to send her plenty of texts asking how she is and whether she still remembers the good times. Girls love reminiscing while they're getting ready to go out and take a length from a new guy. When she she tells you to stop and move on, because she has, don't listen to her. She's playing hard to get. She'll remember how much she should love you if you just keep forcing the issue. It's her friends, they're the ones who are keeping her from you, so definitely bad mouth them to her every chance you can get. Or, y'know, you could cut her out. 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 Could be a good sport and tickle his balls while you film too? That gets mad brownie points 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 Jokes aside, you really need to listen to this advice. Meeting up on random days just to chat and stuff will really mess with your head. I haven't had to use it, but if I became single I would get straight on Tinder as a distraction - hopefully I won't need to, but that would be the best way to move on. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 And you say it's not for you. There are genuinely some amazing people on there. Not just slags. I've met loads who are genuinely great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SamKidney Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 Cheers guys, for what serious advice has been said haha. It was worth while seeing her. It's cleared up a lot of doubts/unanswered questions I had so I'm sound in that sense. I don't think it could work again anyway, despite how much I'd like it to. Things change I guess. Still in a far better place than I was, and I'm not beating myself up over it as such. It just brings round lots of good memories. Double edged sword I guess, the better thing is to move on . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) I think you're at the convincing yourself stage now dude. Look what you wrote last night? That doesn't look like any positive came of it. Sorry to seem like i'm coming across as a twat mate but I just wish I had someone telling me this shit during that abortion of a relationship. Edited February 18, 2016 by dann2707 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 You did, Dann, we all gave you the same advice then 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 We've all been there and we all know how hard it is to take the advice. As I'm now 31 and been through it, I think I'd find it easier, but I know a relationship I had when I was 18 was exactly like these - I was feeling like crap for AGES. Actually what broke the cycle there was meeting someone for a bit of casual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 If mine seemed in any way un-serious, it wasn't. I was deadly serious, that's literally your other option, although obviously exaggerated. Go far enough back in this thread and I had plenty of trouble getting out of a relationship which was clearly toxic and going nowhere. As Mike said, we're only able to give the advice because we've been there, not because we're better at this than you. We're just further along the road. I can guarantee that you will be giving this advice to someone else in a few years, that's just how the process works. I'm glad of all the people who I spent time ignoring in this thread back then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 23 minutes ago, dann2707 said: I think you're at the convincing yourself stage now dude. Look what you wrote last night? That doesn't look like any positive came of it. Sorry to seem like i'm coming across as a twat mate but I just wish I had someone telling me this shit during that abortion of a relationship. I did if I remember rightly. Something along the lines of she wants to get f**ked all over but still have love and cuddles with you. She can't have her cake and eat it or something along those lines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 14 minutes ago, bing said: I did if I remember rightly. Something along the lines of she wants to get f**ked all over but still have love and cuddles with you. She can't have her cake and eat it or something along those lines Sort of. Just didn't know what she wanted. Then got in a relationship a month later. In fact you told me haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 On the way to that Leeds ride if yoy Remember Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 (edited) Haha yeah I do. That's was when Anita was still friends with her on FB and we debated wether to tell you or not. Many a discussion was had with me and neil before you became a full time car fag Edited February 18, 2016 by bing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 I know that's because all you f**king did on group rides. Do a single pedal hop then have a chat all day! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 It's all about the chat and procrastination tha norrs. That and I was nearly always hungover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 #lad innit though xxooxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
haydon_peter Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 20 hours ago, King C said: I was see a girl I work with, in the same office, within eye shot of each other. She got drunk one night and ended up getting with another engineer I work with and now they're seeing each other. I see her everyday, I see them both everyday and I still really like her and did hang out with her for a couple of months after but I've had to completely avoid talking to her because I know how much harder it would be if I did. Its the hardest thing I've had to do and still hate it but I'm getting used to it and so can you. There is a saying... Don't dip your pen in the company ink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 When a long(ish) term relationship falls apart girls can be quite good at getting what they wanted most from the relationship (comfort, security, a good caring friend) whilst conveniently not supplying what the man wanted most (physical affection, sex). The danger with staying friends is that you can end up in this horrible middle ground where she's confiding in you, trusting you, getting what she wants, but you're like the moth bouncing off the lampshade, never getting what you needed. That's why, hard as it is, breaking contact is the best way. And be adult about it, explain why, say listen I think it's best if we don't talk. Mutually block on social network accounts, delete phone numbers. No drunk texting. One advantage is that you can see other people without feeling any guilt, or that you should mention it next time you speak. The other advantage is that if the split was a mistake, she'll realise in your absence that she does want to be with you. If you're still around, still a friend, she may feel like she hasn't lost that much in breaking up. I've made it clear to girls before when things got ropey: "Listen I don't want to become your friend, I want to be your lover, that's what is on offer, nothing else." What you're saying then is you can have all of me or nothing. Because you DO NOT want to be the shoulder she cries on every time she gets hurt by other guys. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross McArthur Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 3 hours ago, Tony Harrison said: "Listen lady I don't want to become your friend, I want to be your lover, that's what is on offer, nothing else." That works for you? I take my hat off to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 1 hour ago, Ross McArthur said: That works for you? I take my hat off to you. It works in as much as it saves me wasting time. I don't want to be the guy who hovers around a girl - either having never been in a relationship with her, or after one has broken up - in the hope that by being friendly something more will happen at a later date, especially if she's 'unsure' or 'needs some time' or some other reasoning. The last girl I said that to chose 'nothing' over 'all', and so I didn't waste anymore time and I moved on and met someone else. Recently that girl has actually been messaging me asking how I am etc, but the same applies. If we meet up then my angle is getting it on with her, not becoming her friend. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross McArthur Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 Fair enough. I like how blunt all that is. Life's too short. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Harrison Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 1 hour ago, Ross McArthur said: Fair enough. I like how blunt all that is. Life's too short. Right, totally, life is too short. I apply it the same to work clients and also to friends. If you end up always waiting for someone who's late, or making time for someone who always cancels, you're better off just binning them off. If you have a client or customer who always complains and pesters you, you're better off without them. As a much younger guy I wasted tons of time getting friend-zoned and generally failing to develop things with the girls I liked. Then I learnt just how much of a turn-off it is to be so 'available' all the time. You may aswell get caught by the girl when you're jerking off with a fistful of shit in your hand, not that I'm recommending doing that. Also as a 30+ guy I realised that there are far more applicable women than I'll ever have time to sample. Things going nowhere/f'cking up with one just lets you skip to the next - al the more reason not to waste any of that time! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.