James Quigley Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 also, hardly ruining her life, if shes willing to cheat then it cant be that serious a thing back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 also, hardly ruining her life, if shes willing to cheat with you then it cant be that serious a thing back home.Disclaimer: Luke Rainbird does not condone cheating. Ignorance FTW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash-Kennard Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 yeah fair. ill give her a poking then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 If it does all end badly, at least you even considered not doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam-Griffin Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 After all, it's the thought that counts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grant_hundley Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 (edited) if its handed to you on a plate, should you take it even if you know you shouldnt?there may be a load of self centered people that are jus like yeah stick your dick in it.. your possibly not one of those people cos you've already thought about whether its right or not, which means you will feel guilty. You should tell whoever she is with cos she isn't worth it.. then maybe.. Edited November 2, 2009 by grant_hundley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Quinn Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 After all, it's the thought that counts.The nobel peace prize proved this when they gave Obama one for his 'good intentions'.Crack on Ash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simpson Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 bollocks am i taking advice from you. someone else!Ash.... your getting behind, you need some help to catch up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caleb Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 there may be a load of self centered people that are jus like yeah stick your dick in it.. your possibly not one of those people cos you've already thought about whether its right or not, which means you will feel guilty. You should tell whoever she is with cos she isn't worth it.. then maybe..That would almost definitely backfire.Toughie, but id probably go for it and act ignorant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_soon_to_be Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 yeah fair. ill give her a poking thenpics or it didnt happen ??basically ash, you thought about not doing it. not do the hourable thing and smash the gash !! so to speak Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 I was just talking with a mate of mine about what makes certain men attractive she gave me a load of reasons, and then I looked in here. Nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_soon_to_be Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 women love to be treated like dirt, like name calling, hair pulling, biting etc..trust me, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam-Griffin Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 I was just talking with a mate of mine about what makes certain men attractive she gave me a load of reasons, and then I looked in here. Nice.I don't understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted November 2, 2009 Report Share Posted November 2, 2009 I don't understand.Say no more Love you Mr G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Quinn Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 I was just talking with a mate of mine about what makes certain men attractive she gave me a load of reasons, and then I looked in here.The thing is though, every girl in this situation always lists a really nice, well meaning guy. Then the next day gets with someone the complete opposite. Bullshitters the lot of em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pashley26 Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 The thing is though, every girl in this situation always lists a really nice, well meaning guy. Then the next day gets with someone the complete opposite. Bullshitters the lot of em.It's desperation isn't it, they can't find the man they want and by then the sexual fuse has burnt its way down so they go and get a twat for a couple of months. At least, thats the way I see it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 It's desperation isn't it, they can't find the man they want and by then the sexual fuse has burnt its way down so they go and get a twat for a couple of months. At least, thats the way I see it.Nah, it's because the man they think they want, and the one their natural desires make them actually want are completely different. We all know that we'd like to be with someone who is 'nice' and easy to get on with etc, and that works for men as well as women. But when it comes down to it, relationships work better with a little tension and a little power struggle every now and again (which she has to lose, obviously). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 It's no fun if the other person's a pushover (well, it is, but not for long). People like a bit of unpredictability, a little bit of fun along the way. That much is obvious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a2bcio8 Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 (edited) What you chaps are talking about reminds me of the idea of relationships as a game. A female friend was telling me about how, with reference to some generally accepted psychology study, that many western females are attracted to the "bad boy" because they earn points (unconsciously I might add as they are often oblivious to their motivations) in the female world through the action of taming him. The "top" female is the one who takes a complete 'dick' and moulds him into the 'ideal' male. Of course, when he becomes the ideal male, the game is over and quite possibly that females needs to start over again with another bad boy to tame, to earn points. The points obviously represent what makes the female feel good and that feeling good is also in reference to how they assume other females are perceiving their achievments within the relationship game. I would state that I have definitely been in several relationships with females who have tried to mould me. They can be impresively manipulative if they wish, especially with, from the position of a male, a very powerful sexuality that can be used as a reward/punishment mechanism for the appropriate/inappropriate behaviour Men have an equivilent to this but I can't remember what it was, unfortunately. I know that for me in at least one of my relationships, I was most interested in her when she was pissed off with me as though the game was to make her happy. Once she was happy again, I lost interest. And so exists a circular relationship. I know this is true of at least one other friend. It also sounds like the courting game of going for the female that isn't interested with the challenge of winning her over in the end.With either of those, love is not the dominating factor or reward of the relationship, the game is. A definite point that this isn't true of all people but probably everybody engages in it to a varying degree. This again just demonstrates how crazy, unaware of ourselves and robotic we all are Edited November 3, 2009 by Ben Rowlands Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzo Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Jesus, what a depressing view on relationships you all have. I just thought people got with people because they, in a 1940's style fashion, 'quite liked them'. To me, keeping a happy relationship is pretty easy; avoid routine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1a2bcio8 Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Jesus, what a depressing view on relationships you all have. I just thought people got with people because they, in a 1940's style fashion, 'quite liked them'. To me, keeping a happy relationship is pretty easy; avoid routine.That's the thing, we can surmize the complexities of human interaction with statements that we ""quite liked them" but unfortunately it does omit a lot of underlying stuff that sets the condition of your relationship.I think due to how crazy we all are, it requires a lot of self reflection and the capacity to view things from the position of the partner (empathy). We have so many unconscious motivations, feelings, etc. that we easily bring ill health to a relationship without even being aware of it.Avoiding routine is definitely important though. It's well established in psychology that strong habituation in life, numbs oneself to that life. You do the same things day in day out you simply become insensitive to what you're doing. Consequently, you can easily become insensitive to your partner and your feelings for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greetings Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Has anyone on here actually been friends with their ex after breaking up? I'm curious as to whether it's possible. I'm sure we've all heard "let's be friends" so many times but from my experience it never works. However, the relationship with my ex is certainly going that way partly because we go to the same group at uni and partly because I don't want to loose someone I've done so much for. I'm not sure if it's a good idea? We can't pretend not to know each other, that's gay.Anyone had a similar situation and would like to share their experiences? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Never worked for me. One of you will 9/10 want the relationship still which is the main problem. When i tried to be friends with an ex we ended up just acting like we was together, basically just massively flirting with each other and ended up just getting back together which then of course failed again.Maybe it can work once the feelings have parsed and that, but i don't think straight away it can work, personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 I'm very good friends with my ex - in fact I'm probably going to drive up to visit her in the next few days. If you split for amicable reasons and not because someone's done something wrong, there shouldn't be any reason not to be. You obviously liked each other enough to start a relationship, so unless something's changed on that front... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD™ Posted November 3, 2009 Report Share Posted November 3, 2009 Has anyone on here actually been friends with their ex after breaking up? I'm curious as to whether it's possible. I'm sure we've all heard "let's be friends" so many times but from my experience it never works. However, the relationship with my ex is certainly going that way partly because we go to the same group at uni and partly because I don't want to loose someone I've done so much for. I'm not sure if it's a good idea? We can't pretend not to know each other, that's gay.Anyone had a similar situation and would like to share their experiences?I would consider a couple of my ex's 'friends' in the sense that we can talk to each other for advice and such, but I wouldn't really hang out with them. For instance, the girl I went out with at 16 - Lisa - helped me out by bringing her car over to give me a jump start the other week, and I bought her a drink to say thanks but we probably wont speak again until either of us needs something. Emily, the one I broke up with about 6 months ago after 3 years, speaks to me every now and again. Just talking about getting a scholarship for her 3rd year at Uni and how I helped so much and stuff, but again we wont just chat to see how the other one is but only when we've got some news or a favour or to talk about the vast sums of money I owe her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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