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Teenage Angst Communal Agony Aunt Thread


Has anyone seen my shoe?

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Then i'll go home with 8 cans of Stella and cut all the heads off all the photos i have of her :angry:

Regardless of what happens, don't do that. Memories are not something you can replace. It might feel good at the time to destroy pictures of her, but the second after you will regret it. Put them in a box or something, and hide them up.

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Reyyyy!

It's the failed relationship crew - another member reporting for duty.

Welcome aboard sailor!

You an the Missis over Mike?

I can join the brigade, broke up with my girl in Leicester yeseterday while I was down visiting her, badtimes. She says she wants to see me over chrimbo, but I'm not sure weather or not I will think about her as a next mans girl. Like if she does anything with anyone at uni do i really want to see her in that way again? Double standards AHOY!

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Can i join the failed relationships crew?

I had a girlfriend of about 2 years, she was literaly everything to me, my first proper girlfriend. We would do everything together, and if we had nothing to do, we'd sure find something. I turned 18, and she was still 17. I started going out, clubbing and stuff. And she really didn't like it. She even accused me of cheating on her with my bestfriend (who is a girl, before any of you lot get any idea's :P) So, i gave her some space, as advised, and things just suddenly went downhill from there. It's now at the point that i can't even see her without hurting like hell, all the memories of what we had just kick in and bring me down. Its been a good 6 months since we split up, and i think about her everyday, wishing that someday, somewhere, i could feel like the way she made me feel.

Then recently, found another girlfriend, who i think was just a rebound. She told me she loved me blah blah blah, then i get a phone call off her best mate telling me that she's kissing her ex-boyfriend. And i actually wasn't that bothered haha. Morale of the story is that you can't trust women as far as you can throw them, and somehow, they'll always manage to f**k your head up.

Peace out relationship failures :)

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Regardless of what happens, don't do that. Memories are not something you can replace. It might feel good at the time to destroy pictures of her, but the second after you will regret it. Put them in a box or something, and hide them up.

That's true, even if you have digital pics of you together, burn them on a disc and remove them from your pc. I did that with my last gf along with all the contact details which I wrote down on a piece of paper. This was one and a half years ago, we've met up today for the first time - and looked back at our relationship as if nothing had happened. Suddenly you realise that despite how bad things were when you were braking up, the relationship has really changed you as a person. You might regret being with her now, but once you've gotten over it you'll see that it was a brilliant 6 years.

As for the "I don't know" - I heard that from my gf/ex yesterday. There's really no point in believing that it means anything. It's just a way of saying "no, but I don't have the guts to say it to your face".

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Well guys, i'm not quite in the failures club yet as the chat hasn't quite got to a conclusion like i wanted. Don't get me wrong, we made progress in whatever direction we are going but we haven't quite got there yet.

Basically, we've talked about a lot of stuff, she admitted being very distant and losing a bit of interest with the relationship and explained her reasons for it which i can understand. She wants to go travelling next year, however, i can't as i'm currently doing a 6 year part-time structural engineering degree which doesn't finish for another 3 years. It's always been something she's wanted to do and is of the opinion that i'm too content with my life to ever want to go abroad when i finish my degree. I don't agree with that because if i pass my course i'm off to get more dollar elsewhere but i can understand why she thinks that. However, i'm not going to try and convince her because if she wants to go she's best of going when she wants, right? We've been talking for over 3 hours so this is only a small part of what went on.

There's still something between us but we have issues which possibly can get sorted out but also maybe not. There's stuff that i had also started to neglect that have made her feel a little unwanted which is obvious now she's pointed it out so there's things from both sides.

Unfotunately, she noticed i was "a bit on edge" and i looked like i "had the weight of of the world on my shoulders" but overall it went well as far as getting somewhere goes and answering a few unknowns but a resolution didn't come and it looks like another night of it on my mind but i'm a little more content.

So at the minute, not quite there but jogging on. Round 2 tomorrow night!!

As for cuttung heads off pictures, i was only joking ;)

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I'll take your place. There's not much hope mine can be saved, we haven't spoken since Sunday and she ignored me at uni today so... meh.

Just give it a rest for a bit, then think about what you say to her if you really want her back you will be able to.

Edited by Mike Winton.
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I have some trouble :o

My gf, definitely likes to have enough drink to get pretty drunk, but is sensible about it and has only ever been sick once i think from it, but i'm fine with that cos it's legalish... She also has tried disco biscuits more than once, and we went out last night and pretty early on through the night she had one again and i was like oh my god why would you do that? It was just me and her all night, so it could have been nice, the music was good enough and we had some drink before we went in so i thought it was just unnecessary. I was pretty angry with her and showed it, and basically explained to her that i was just looking out for her and that i didn't want anything to happen to her. I'm hoping she won't do it again but i dunno what to do if she does. She 'promised' that she wouldn't again but it's kind of a 1 wont hurt thing i think so i reckon she'll do it again...

I dunno what to do, try and control her for the better of herself, or just let her do it? She also got some cigarettes off her mate and seemed to be a smoker rather than she'll have a toke if shes at a party outside, but the thing is, kissing a smoker is horrible, which is mainly why i feel i should control her out of it, cos it's a bad habit, expensive and we're in a relationship, we're gonna be kissing, and it's unpleasant to do it if she's been smoking but pills don't make much difference. I don't wanna lose her by being controlling, nor do i wanna lose her to the things she does so it's a bit tricky.

Definitely didn't want to go near her when we got home because i feel like people are different people all together when they're on drugs.

So yeah, control or not control?

Edited by Fixed Pantsâ„¢
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How old is she?

If you start telling her not to smoke, not to take pills he'll either do it behind your back or tell you to f**k off.

The reason I asked about age is because most likely its just a temporary thing; you'll find a lot of people try it a few times and then never do it again. I know I did - although smoking never went away.

No matter what you try to do, you'll never change anyone. The more you nag, the more pissed off she'll get and she'll then probably end up doing it again...the whole 'Don't push this button' thing.

I'd say just relax a bit, it'll probably pass.

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Just give it a rest for a bit, then think about what you say to her if you really want her back you will be able to.

That's the whole problem, it's been 3 days now and I'm really not sure if I want to continue this. We're a bad match, we don't understand each other in some matters really important to us, and all in all I was never really happy with her. But on the other hand, I loved her and she loved me, we spent a lot of time with each other, helped each other a lot and it was shaping up to be a long relationship. We were always really keen to work things out even when we had serious rows. We just wanted to be with each other but neither her nor me really knew why.

This is it - I don't want to be alone, I love being with somebody and having someone to make happy, give presents, spend time with. And the vision of not having somebody like that is really daunting, especially with Christmas coming. I was never good at finding new girlfriends since my standards are ridiculously high. At one stage this year I was dating 6 or 7 girls at the same time and turned them all down because there was always something wrong with them that I couldn't accept. I'm by no means not looking for perfection but for certain virtues which rarely go together.

We're meeting up today at 7pm. She's agreed to see me which means she's already thought things over (and probably decided to break up). Think I'm going to buy her some flowers and just take things from there and talk as little as possible.

[/talking to myself mostly]

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:huh:

Even you should get this, Kris, drink is legal, drugs aren't.

Don't bother fatty, I tried that with Christine and she just got worse and worse and doesn't talk to me any more.

If it's drugs/booze on there mind just don't get involved, it'll f**k with their head and they'll turn against you (N)

It's really not as serious as that Christine thing. She takes it once in a while when she goes to a 'rave'. Most annoyingly, the mate of mine who went out with her before me (he managed to pull her at a party both drunk) was into party drugs a lot and i think it's him that got her started, and i, that very night he pulled her was gonna ask her out which would have meant she wouldn't have done them...

Slight side note, she's going away at xmas for 2 weeks, i'm not even coping with her going away till sat (she's just got on the plane!) this is bad to love someone so much.

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I sympathise with you man but basically all of what your saying is I want someone, but I don't want her, you shouldn't be settling for something just because it, "looks like it might be shaping up to a long term relationship" you should want to be with someone because they make you feel how no-one else on the planet can all of the time. Fair if you get to 60 and still havent found anyone, just settle for someone alright, but at your age man you need to be getting out there and finding that person.

Personally I think flowers sets completly the wrong tone if you think that shes going to break up with you, just makes you look a bit over eager, I'd say meet at one of each other houses so you can open up have a massive chat and decide whats the best thing for you to both do, meeting in public means you cant really say what you feel at all and will just make you both more fustrated.

Best of luck man, make sure you do the right thing for you.

this is bad to love someone so much.

Yea its f**king awfull thought you would have learnt to not get too attached again and again and again and again and again and again and again.........

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Don't be so pedantic. You can buy it in any food shop. It is legal to sell if you're old enough. Drugs are never legal regardless of age.

He wasn't being pedantic, he was being serious. No matter how you look at it, it isn't "legalish". She's under age for drinking and drugs are illegal, hence she is not being "legalish".

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He wasn't being pedantic, he was being serious. No matter how you look at it, it isn't "legalish". She's under age for drinking and drugs are illegal, hence she is not being "legalish".

All fattys saying it someone 18+ can go and buy a girl alcahol. Whereas to get pills you have to meet a 28 year old heroin addict...

Edited by Simpson
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Thanks man. We're meeting up in her house so we should have a bit of freedom. Flowers sound odd but what I'm trying to do is get back together and then decide if I want to be with her. At the moment I don't know, if we wait any longer it will definitely be too late. And what if things can be fixed? I need 100% certainty that there is no point in continuing this before I say no.

Anyway, I'm off. Hope things go well, whatever happens.

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