Si-man Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 (edited) What do you call an ethiopean with a big toe??A golf ClubHow do you know your at a gay picnic??The hotdogs taste like shit! Edited July 25, 2006 by merlin_rider Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_ferret Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 (edited) wel..a ticket attendant walks up to a man parked in a disabled parking space and asks"excuse me sir you are not displaying a disabled badge could you please tell me what your disability is?"the man replies "tourettes so f**k off you wanker" oggy Edited July 25, 2006 by the_ferret Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manxrider Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Did you make that up yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_ferret Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 no actually recieved it in atext today made me chuckle ...o welloggy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Jones Posted July 25, 2006 Report Share Posted July 25, 2006 Did you make that up yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houseface Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 what does a blonde do when she steps on a land mine?cover her ears steve. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob_P Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 A black women walks into the doctors, When her name is called she walks to his office, when she enters the doctor says "Hello, whats wrong?" She replies, i've really hurt my arm, could you take a look at it?" He replies, "certinately, take your knickers off" "no no it's my arm" "yeh, take your knickers off" "excuse me, it's my arm that needs checking" "yeh just take your knickers off" "why on earth do you want me to take my knickers off" "I've just bought a black leather sofa and I want to see what it looks like with pink cushions" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark W Posted July 26, 2006 Report Share Posted July 26, 2006 Oh. My. God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 Ahahahahahahaahha!!!Rob your a twat hahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbra Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 This is a good luck joke my mum sent me from work, its quite good actually This is a joke that is supposed to bring you luck. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, "$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?" The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square." The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?" "Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square." "Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness." "No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure." The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rugbyman Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 (edited) 2 blokes in a car they both suffer from dyslexia (sp) the 1st one says " can you smell petrol?" the other replies " smell petrol? i cant' even smell my own name!" Edited July 27, 2006 by rugbyman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smo™ Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 2 blokes in a car they both suffer from terrets (sp) the 1st one says " can you smell petrol?" the other replies " smell petrol? i cant' even smell my own name!"I don't get what it has to do with Tourettes? Not a bad joke though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 Stole from Dan Clark on that new TF chat thingy...What has 9 arms and sucks??Def Leopard Cruel sod haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark W Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 I don't get what it has to do with Tourettes? Not a bad joke though. I'm glad someone pointed that out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyoyo Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 I think he meant dyslexia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 Courtesy of my mate dan...What has 8 legs and a black fanny??The A team Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rugbyman Posted July 27, 2006 Report Share Posted July 27, 2006 (edited) sorry bin watchin to much big bromeant 2 say2 blokes in a car they both suffer from dyslexia (sp) the 1st one says " can you smell petrol?" the other replies " smell petrol? i cant' even smell my own name!" Edited July 27, 2006 by rugbyman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nafan Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 Why couldn't the cat get through the catflap?Because it had a javelin through its headNathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 paddy and murphy were walking through the jungle and saw a crocodile with a man hanging out of his mouth. paddy said to murphy 'look at that flash fanny with his lacoste sleeping bag'Q: What's the first sign of madness? A: Suggs walking up your driveway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
br3n Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 whats a suggs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManxTrialSpaz Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 Singer in the band Madness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Papasnap Maher Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 whats a suggs? Dear god...do you know who madness are? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 Obviously not hahaDeprived child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trials_pimp Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 Whats one arab on the moon? problem 10 arabs on the moon? problem 100 arabs on the moon? large problem 1000 arabs on the moon? big big problem 1000000 arabs on the moon? massive problem all the arabs on the moon? Problem solved! How do you know when you're in a gay church? Only half the congregation kneels to pray! What does AIDS stand for? Anally Injected Death Sentence.How do you know if a chink robbed your house? Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway! Hitler stands in front of a canon with some Jews. He tells the first one: “Spread your arms and jump into the canon!” The Jew jumps and dies. Then he tells the second one: “Touch your toes with your hands and jump into the canon!” The Jew jumps and dies, too. He tells the third one: “Put your arms in the air and jump into the canon!” Suddenly, Hitler’s mother appears, yelling at him: “Adolf, stop playing tetris with those Jews!!!What did the little German boy get for his birthday? Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boris_on_trials Posted July 28, 2006 Report Share Posted July 28, 2006 This is what i hurd on a film. I'm no racist plus considering most jokes are about arabs i may be ok.Why don't black people like country music?Because every time some one shouts hoedown some body thinks they've lost a daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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