mr kenny Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 i see elton john is getting devorced from his husband....turns out he's been having sex behind his back!!garry glitter is getting out of jail on compassionit's to witness the birth of his next wife! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 Gary Gliter one, Harsh Kenny, But damn funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_soon_to_be Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 There are two paedophiles on a bus, and a girl about aged 8 gets on. One paedophile says to the other one, "I bet she was a stunner in her day!"A man comes from work to discover his girlfriend packing all her stuff up."Where are you going?" he asks."I'm leaving you" she replies."Why?" he counters."Because I found out you're a paedophile" she cried"A paedophile? A paedophile?" he screamed"That's a pretty big word for a ten year old!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alun Goch Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 LMAO! Some quality ones here! Well, sticking with the harsh ones...And I do appologise if it does cause any offence, don't read it if you are easily offended...Why do shower heads have 11 holes?Because Jews only have 10 fingers.Alun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Motivator Posted May 15, 2006 Report Share Posted May 15, 2006 What sort of file do you use to make a hole bigger?A paedophile.What did one paedophole say to annother on the beach?"Get out of my sun!"Heh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Cox Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 (edited) how do you get 300 babies into a phonebooth?With a blender.How do you get them out again?With a straw.How do you stop a Dumb and deaf rape victim from telling her mother?Break her fingers. Edited May 16, 2006 by Ben Cox Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Cable Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 A pregnant woman gives birth and afterwards the doctor goes up to her and says "Do you want the good news or the bad news?" She asks for the bad news first and the doctor replies "The baby has ginger hair," "Well what is the good news then?" She asks. "It's dead" says the doctor.What is the difference between true love and herpes?Herpes lasts forever.Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easyQ. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSuave Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 1) a duck walks into a pub and orders a beer and a sandwich.the barman is stunned by this talking duck and ask's him what he's doing around these parts.the duck replies ''im working on the building site across the road''barman '' well i tell you what mate, you should go and see the guys at circus, i bet you'd make a mint''duck ''why, do they need a plasterer?''2) what did the jewish pheadophile say to the little girl? are going to eat all those sweets?3) 2 nuns going down the motorway when all of a sudden a bolt of lightning hits the car bonnet and the devil appears.1st nun says to the 2nd ''what shall we do? what shall we do?''2nd nun says '' show him your cross''1st nun '' GET OFF THE f**kING BONNET''4) what was the last thing hitler said to his men before they got in there tanks?''men get in your tanks'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoyoyo Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 i see elton john is getting devorced from his husband....turns out he's been having sex behind his back!!garry glitter is getting out of jail on compassionit's to witness the birth of his next wife!4) what was the last thing hitler said to his men before they got in there tanks?''men get in your tanks''All those are awsome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plainlazy84 Posted May 16, 2006 Report Share Posted May 16, 2006 Why should you never kiss a stupid midgit?Because its not big and its not clever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ramps Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 Why should you never kiss a stupid midgit?Because its not big and its not clever. haha that is brilliant!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob_P Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 What do you call 20 blondes standing ear to ear?A wind tunnelWhy did the blonde get sacked from the M&M factory?She threw out all the WsHow do blondes brain cells die?AloneWhats a blondes idea of safe sex?Locking the doorWhy did the blonde ask for her pizza to be cut into 6 slices instead of 12?She didn't know if she could eat 12 slicesWhat do you call a blonde that expects sex on a second date?SlowWhat do you call a blonde with a brainGolden retriever Why did the blonde put make up on her forehead?She wanted to make her mind upHow did the blonde couple freeze to death at the drive in movies?They went to see 'closed for the winter'How do you know if a blondes been on the computer?Theres tip-ex on the screenHow can you tell if another blonde used it after?Theres writing on the tip-exI could go on forever.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 What do you give a sick lemon?LEMONAID!!! WOO!!!Have you heard about the man with no ears?He hasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyb Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 I'v been banned from b&q because as i walked in a willy in an orange jacket ask if i wanted decking,Luckly i got the firsts punch in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beigemaster Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 (edited) Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of marbles?You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitch fork. Edited May 24, 2006 by beigemaster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Quigley Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 Why was the blonde panicking when she locked her keys in the car.................It was starting to rain and she'd left the top down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben Cox Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 How do you get 300 chavs into a mini?Throw in a dole check.How do you get them out again?throw in a job application form.What's the difference between a chav and a picnic bench?A picnic bench can support a family of 4.Whats the difference between a chav and a Pizza?A pizza can feed a family.Ben Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Quigley Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 What do you call 3 Chavs in a fiesta going over a cliff........................a WASTE! a fiesta seats 5! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe_Kearney Posted May 24, 2006 Report Share Posted May 24, 2006 (edited) What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?Popeye kicked the f**k out of him.________________________________________________________________________ After marrying a younger woman, a middle-aged man finds that no matter what he does in the sack, she never achieves orgasm. So he visits his doctor for advice. "Maybe fantasy is the solution," says the doctor. "Why not hire a strapping young man and, while you two are making love, have him wave a towel over you?"The doctor smiles. "Make sure he's totally naked - that way your wife can fantasise her way to a full-blown orgasm."Optimistic, he returns home and hires a handsome young escort. But it's no use: even when the stud stands naked, waving the towel, the wife remains unsatisfied. Perplexed, the man returns to his doctor. "Try reversing it for a while," says the quack. "Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." And so he returns home to try again - this time, waving the towel as the same escort pumps away enthusiastically. Soon, the wife has an enormous, screaming orgasm. Smiling, the husband drops the towel and taps the young man on the shoulder. "You see?" he shouts triumphantly. "That's how you wave a bloody towel." Edited May 24, 2006 by Joe_Kearney Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanie-b Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 Please look away if you are easily offended...------------- What's faster than a somalian bloke running down the street after he's robbed a TV ?------- His brother who has the dvd player Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_soon_to_be Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 (edited) a man walks into a barOUCH ! Edited May 25, 2006 by the_soon_to_be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Quigley Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 Now Now, lets lay off the Racist jokes.....................Blonde Jokes are much funnier.A Blonde couple went bankrupt after spending their savings and re-morgaging their house trying to invent the waterproof towel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomHero Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 If i had 2 fish id call them 1 & 2.Because if 1 died id still have 2. Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table when a hot blonde walks up and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. "I hope you don't mind," she says to the two men, "but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." She strips naked and rolls the dice.As the dice come to a stop, she jumps up and down screams, "I WON I WON!!"She then hugs both the dealers, picks up her money and her clothes, and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?"The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat-White-Boy Posted May 25, 2006 Report Share Posted May 25, 2006 what do you call a chav in a boxinnitwhat do you call a chav in a lockable boxsafewhat do you call a chav in a filing cabinateSortedwhat do you say to a chav in a suit, may the defendant please riseWhats worse than 10 dead babies in a bin1 dead baby in 10 binsWhy did sally fall of the swingbecause she had no armswhay did timmy fall of the swingbecause someone threw a fridge at himWhats the difference between 10 dead babies in a bag and a ferrarii dont have a ferrari in my garrage.why was 6 scared, because 789 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fredrico Posted May 26, 2006 Report Share Posted May 26, 2006 Q)Whats the similarity between a chavette and a turtle?A)When there on their back their f**ked.Q)What do you do if you see a chav running around screaming?A)Stop laughing and reload.Q) whats the difference between a fox road kill and a chav road kill?A)Theres skid marks infront of the fox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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