Alan Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 (edited) What do you say to a rabai when you see him laying on some grass at 6am?Morning jew. Edited December 2, 2007 by Alan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben John-Hynes Posted December 2, 2007 Report Share Posted December 2, 2007 dont think i will be taking my teddy to sudan not since i named him "smellysuicidebombingblackmuslimtwat"tad bit racist but tasteful that is absolute CLASS!laughed so much lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Dig Posted December 10, 2007 Report Share Posted December 10, 2007 How do you know when your girl comes?WHO CARES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poopipe Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 one day, a mother is cleaning out her son's room when she comes across a bondage magazine. highly upset about this she decides to wait for her husband to come home. When she asks him: "what do you think we should do?" he replies: "well i dont think you should spank him..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam-Griffin Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 Did you hear the Joke about the Butter?I won't tell you lot because you'll Spread it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fixed Pants™ Posted January 22, 2008 Report Share Posted January 22, 2008 Lets hope this isn't a fail, cos i really will have to board the fail boat.Saw a car accident the other day involving one of them new Skodas. It was an awful crash, there was cake f**king everywhere! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamAllen Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 (edited) Do you know what forever feels like?Try walking around you mum. Edited April 17, 2008 by econtrol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff-jeff Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 (edited) Bit wrong but oh well. mate told our maths class this. It was the end of the midget jokes for us.A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.After a few drinks they went back to the tall woman's apartment."I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all.""Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart and close your eyes," said the midget.The woman did as she was told and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her.Within a few minutes the woman had climaxed eight times."If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "Just wait till I get BOTH legs in there!"A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless."Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts."Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die,they inflate and float you up to heaven."Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes offquite satisfied.Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes intothe kitchen."Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"What do you mean? says his mother.Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both herballoons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling"God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!" Edited April 17, 2008 by jeff-jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomturd Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 2 bee keepers are talking to each other.One asks the other,So how many bees have you got?I've got 500,000 bees!Oh right, how many hives do you keep those 500,000 bees in?I have 500 hives, 1000 bees in each. Why, how many bees have you got?I've got one million bees.And how many hives?Just one.Just one?!f**k em, they're only bees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Jones Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Those two were good.One day a kid runs into the kitchen and shouts to his mum "mummy, mummy, grannys got a prawn."The mum was confused and said "what do you mean" in which the kid replied "grannys got a prawn."The mum still confused asked the kid to show her.The kid took the mum into the living room where his granny is lying stark naked with her legs wide open. The kid then points to the grannys Vagina and says "grannys got a prawn."The mum then replied by saying "no son, thats her clitoris."the kid then replies by saying "well it sure does taste like a prawn." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam-Griffin Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Boy goes into school with a nice shiny new watch and shows his friend says "Wow, thats nice where'd you get that" Boy replies, i walked in on my mum and dad having sex last night and said they would get me a watch if i went to bed.Amazed, the boys friend trys it the next night, he walks in on them Dad:What the f**k do you want ?Son: I wanna Watch..Dad: Pull up a Chair then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jed Posted April 17, 2008 Report Share Posted April 17, 2008 Don't highlight underneath unless you want to hear a really really sick joke.What's the worst thing about raping a baby?Getting the blood out of your clown suit.Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Class Clown Posted April 19, 2008 Report Share Posted April 19, 2008 A NEW WORLD MAP HAS BEEN MADE, THE NORTH POLE IS AT THE TOP AND THE SOUTH POLE IS AT THE BOTTOM...AND EVERY OTHER f**kING POLE IS IN BRITAN.ITS BEEN OVER A MONTH SINCE THE EARTHQUAKE IN ENGLAND AND STILL NO SIGN OF PAKISTAN SETTING UP A TRUST FUND.......SO NEXT TIME THEY HAVE ONE THEY CAN f**k OFF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 A NEW WORLD MAP HAS BEEN MADE, THE NORTH POLE IS AT THE TOP AND THE SOUTH POLE IS AT THE BOTTOM...AND EVERY OTHER f**kING POLE IS IN BLACKPOOL.Thats about right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Sheehan! Posted April 20, 2008 Report Share Posted April 20, 2008 A NEW WORLD MAP HAS BEEN MADE, THE NORTH POLE IS AT THE TOP AND THE SOUTH POLE IS AT THE BOTTOM...AND EVERY OTHER f**kING POLE IS IN SOUTHEND.THATS about right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomm Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Maybe we should rename this the 'casual racism thread'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 A small child walks up to a security guard in a superstore, and says tearfully,'I have lost my mum!'The security guard says,'Don't worry, we will find her, what's she like?''Well, cock and bingo usually...' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Sheehan! Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Maybe we should rename this the 'casual racism thread'?I'm game. (not really) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex-Mitchinson Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) (racist joke)What's the difference between a black dad and a bench?A bench can support a family. Edited April 22, 2008 by Alex-Mitchinson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomm Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mat Tea Why Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 (edited) Can't remember this joke properly, here it is roughly.Bob is the sole survivor of a plane crash, he is washed up on a desert island. Over the course of about a year he gets used to island life and manages to find food, shelter and entertainment to keep him sane.One day he awakes to find a woman stood out by the sea. Is it a mirage? Bob runs as fast as he can to find Shakira stood there, she explains how her plane crashed. Inevitably over the next few months Bob and Shakira form a loving relationship, they would both do anything for each other.However one day Bob is very depressed, Shakira asks him,"Whats wrong Bob?""Nothing. Its just..""Anything I can do? I'd do anything for you."Bob asks Shakira to put his clothes on and draw a fake moustache so she looks like a Dave, Bob's old best friend. He then tells her to walk around to the other side of the island, and he will walk round the other way until they meet. So they both walk round and Bob shouts,"DAVE! HOW ARE YOU MATE!" He runs up to Shakira and starts shaking her hand. He then says, "You'll never guess who I'm shagging." Edited April 21, 2008 by [Mat-Ty!] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamWood! Posted April 21, 2008 Report Share Posted April 21, 2008 Lmao, that was well good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sidehop Stuart Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 Can't remember this joke properly, here it is roughly.Bob is the sole survivor of a plane crash, he is washed up on a desert island. Over the course of about a year he gets used to island life and manages to find food, shelter and entertainment to keep him sane.One day he awakes to find a woman stood out by the sea. Is it a mirage? Bob runs as fast as he can to find Shakira stood there, she explains how her plane crashed. Inevitably over the next few months Bob and Shakira form a loving relationship, they would both do anything for each other.However one day Bob is very depressed, Shakira asks him,"Whats wrong Bob?""Nothing. Its just..""Anything I can do? I'd do anything for you."Bob asks Shakira to put his clothes on and draw a fake moustache so she looks like a Dave, Bob's old best friend. He then tells her to walk around to the other side of the island, and he will walk round the other way until they meet. So they both walk round and Bob shouts,"DAVE! HOW ARE YOU MATE!" He runs up to Shakira and starts shaking her hand. He then says, "You'll never guess who I'm shagging."i dont get that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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