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Koxx Days Official Story Post. Now With Pics


Davetrials

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Got to buithers after a very boring drive there, oh porter had his balls out while i got my pic taked with sum bird and porter was sat 1foot away form her with his balls out(ive got pics lol)

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f**k all people on the ferry and came to the conclusion that the only 2 avaible females on the boat were illegal, so that was no fun, got there at sum stupid time in the moring and immdiatly porter was naked so we got a few pics of that

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then we grabbed the torch and ran in to the rocks doing midnight parkour lol dangerous but funny lol, then 2 guys with a torch and french accent came over so we all tried to hide, me and porter were basicly in front of them on a massive rock hanging for dear life, i then slipped and turned the torch on by accident lol, so these guys shine there torch on us and i say "do u think theyve seen us", and we both just piss our selfs, then get told by these guys that its the police, lol woops

so me and porter climb down while phil f**ks off and hides, then they ask to see ID so we walk over to the car, which is locked, and we didnt want to dob phil in so i just sorta said loudly "the doors locked", so phil like a nob head turned the f**king head lights on with his key and makes the car lights go ape shit, while me and porter are standing there trying to give the impression that its just us 2, eventually phil climbs down from this clife he manged to run up in the dark, then we get shouted at for laffing and setting up our "little house", and then he moans a bit more cos we didnt understadn what he said to us in french, tossers, so they then f**ked off after taking our details, we jump in to bed then all the other boyos turn up and we all go sleep

In the morn we found the place where we are allowed to camp,(CAMP DAVE)

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but us and matt cant be assed to take our tewnt down so we stuck it on top off mikes van hole and drove to the top of buithers with two tents ont top of car lol

erm.....

That nite i got pissed and stoned of me tits for the 1st time, and gigle like a proper bitch at anything phil opend a packet of crips and i just fell over laffing lol, and telling every one to shhhhhhhhhh

woke up the day after at 9 ish then just felt like death and went back to bed and woke up at 10am the next day lol it rained anyway lol

riding riding riding riding

did a MASSIVE tap and stole kenny bealays thunder and he went off in a mood cos everyone was watching us english(me) doing stupid things ont bike lol

Iolos car is so small and cool we picked it up and put it in his tent LMAO

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Rallying around the campsite in the cars was awsome lol muchos fun os

buck baught a spade and made sum silly sick ass dirt jumps which me him and iolo had a session on, fatmikes pics are AWSOME lol

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camp fires the size of small buildings, eating nothing but shit

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me slinger chris porter n phil went to a resteraunt where the waitress couldnt look at us with ut laffing so i gave her a rose(i rock), after we left there we chased a car for about half an hour LMAO was funny as shit lol

porter spent the night thowing up, and ended up in hospital

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so we left him there and went to ride paris the next day which was proper shit lol it rained

alot

dont expect a video from andy T, who by the way called english wankers, idiot,

went to another resteraunt with the same lads, and go like a maxxis tyre wich was sposed to be a steak, tasted like piss

went to another resterant the nite after with sherwsbury this time (whats his msn?) proper posh place i had ran out of money so i ate bread, managed to haggle a rose of sum guy and gave it to sarah the hottie milf, and kissed her lol (only female contact all week :( ) Me and slinger ended up thowing cups of water at each other lol was f**king hilrious

got back to camp site on a friday nite made a big fire got bord so we dug a hole..................

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and another hole another another...... we had about 10 holes around the camp site for people to fall in, unfortunatly it was only me that fell in one which i dug, waddling around in my sleeping bag, and BAM in i go lol, dug one hole got a bucket of water stuck in the hole, made it flursh with the ground and coverd it in leaves, POW that would have been awsome if sum one fell in it

oh and we got lost on the way home and ended up in belgium

The frech are c**ts

life was better in belgium

Ask about porters nose stroy, i refuse to type it cos its to awful(oh and porter shat him self)

france is shit

theres no ass

french ganstas are wankers lol buithers is like the ghetto

Pics uploading soon!!

Ill edit when i remember more.

oh and i only had one hardon the whole time in france and that wa sonly cos i needed a piss

WEINER FEST 06

koxxdays 06 turned me EMO

erm ill properly remeber more stuff so ill edit with pics

Ok theres 17 pics ive got 187, give me time to upload them lol

Edited by Davetrials
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stealing spaghetti bolanase from the koxx fever shit party with iolo was probably the funniest part of my weekend. fench people dont know how to laugh! the fit bitch selling sandwichs was good to!

the hardcore game of dodge ball on friday night when we turned up was a laugh to.

TIM STEDMANS THROW! hehe

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matt can thorw that thing!!!

steadman all you had to do was shout "steady eddy!!!!" and everyone couldnt stop laughing including steadman and it went 50ft high but no zip or sting to it, was sooooooooooo funny, dave ti must have taken you ages to write all that! well done that man.

Waynio.........................

there was alot more funny things, had alot to do with holes ;) LMFAO!!!!! but im saying no more.......... ca ZIP! :lol:

OH a big well done to chris walker!!!! he came 2nd in the comp on sunday in red!!!! and i think Hyland came 1st!!!!! so top 3 was 2 brits (Y):D i think that has to be praised. well done boyz

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seeing thomas ohler and tra get up what can only be described as a cliff on saturday evening has opened my eyes alot!

also tearing down trees like cavemen just to have a massive fire is funny as f**k. who would have thought a tin of beans could explode hahahaha

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AndyT was really kool with me :S i spent a bit of time with him and TRA, and Ohler, was a right larf!!!! anyway i dont wanna get too involved with that. (im sure he may have said it in a joking matter, or if he said something someone might have done summit wrong. who cares anyway. back to daves super story :P )

what about the dude on the way back from Paris who was playuing "bumper" cars with sexymike!!!!! hahaha.

Waynio...................

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t'was a very amusing weekend i must say. i learnt a few things;

Thomas Ohler makes me :sick: .

Tim Steadmans throwing is er.... interesting (hello sailor)

Chris walker's riding is a hell of alot better than his driving (he ran 5 red lights in half a mile and wheel spun the van all the way up buthiers high street lol - legend)

the lad riding the GU (sorry, forgot your name) can throw a nerf ball at insane speeds

cana-dave is a bit handy on a bike, regardless of silly facial hair and being canadian

French trees burn really well

Dave is a funny b*****d, the tales of 'DANGER WANK' were a particular highlight.

Benito Ros looks like Napoleon Dynamite

IOLO is a nutcase

Bucky and Waynio are bloody good at climbing trees

Mr Pedrosa really enjoys walking around in his pants

The french are f**kwit boring tossmonkeys who really need to cheer the f**k up.

the old mans car will do 155mph

French police are armed.

Norfolk line ferries are a bunch of c**ts.

New VP's + shins is not a good combination

TRA can still woop ass with a broken wrist

Buthiers is awesome for riding and shit for everything else.

John Shrewsbury should be renamed: 'John Shrubbery the pyromaniac'

a few photos i salvaged, check the elite section, it was insanely hard, they had to sidehop up to the massive rock from the one pete in the grey top is standing by, only benito did it while i was there and he had to have a couple of attempts.... :o

Also, anyone know the results of the expert comp? 1st 2nd 3rd???

Edited by TomNewbold
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the nose story is the shizwack...:D "3 hours" BOSH pulled it straight out, forget sitting there in some shit spanish hospital with a hose pipe going up my nose down my throat into my stomach... thats the most uncomfortible thing i have even gone through. tits.

french hotties arent hot at all... except sarah (at the restaraunt) she was my true love.

someone please take that pic of my balls down...

Edited by James_Porter
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ye thats what happened ;) LMFAO!!!!

we did try pack it well :P (as in not jump on the sand but put bags over it)

Danny if you had of been camping i was going to be paid in the millions (i would have been able to retire and live on my own island) for burying your bike!!!!!! hahahahahaahhaha.

B) B) B)

it was insanly funny as i told EVERYONE the morning after, didnt stand there like a 12 year old kid and say "it wasnt me" i stood outta the tent and Tic and Andrei come upto me and before they had a chance to say owt i said

"yes I buried the monty and i found it PISS funny, if you have a problem then you can tell me"

but id have probably just laughed at it, plus me and walker were kool with it! it was sorted out.

NOTE: Walker came 2nd on sunday @ the comp, i think it was due to the bike being buried the soul of the bike lived on and wanted him to do well (Y):)

the only person that beat him was Hyland who "may" be said could have been riding yellow. so all in all. i dont think there are any excuses any where.

i didnt dig the hole but i took the blame cos it was my idea. just like it was MY idea to build dirt jumps!!!!

Waynio.............................

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LMFAO!!!!

nah, but what he said was funny :P what i heard was aid anyway. but again it probably didnt help @ the time :(

but hey people are over it. some people took it as a joke sum didnt. i know i can gauge who are the more "serious" amongst us now. if my bike was buried in sand il laugh m socks off and say, "god you must have been bored" or "god you didnt think to have a W**K instead"

Slinger could be on koxx for 2006.......................... (to be continued)

Waynio................

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