MesaMan Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 Is There a Santa Clause?1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.)2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 Chill out with al the posts mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat hudson Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 he can slow down time dumb ass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Nick Riviera Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 has appeared on every internet forum , every december , since the dawn of time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 http://qewl.com/santa.html Any one can copy and paste mate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downhill_rob2@hotmail.com Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 dont be silly mate.We all know santa exsists! But it doesnt feel like crimbo ATALL this year! im not bothered lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Clark Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 has appeared on every internet forum , every december , since the dawn of timeAgreed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smo™ Posted December 24, 2005 Report Share Posted December 24, 2005 he can slow down time dumb ass I hope that was sarcasm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flipkickbs Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 Nah, santa doe's exist, i saw him hanging around the grotto in merry hill only today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 (edited) 1. Santa is magic. (Laws of physics and logic don't apply)2. His bag on his sleigh has tardis like technology, bigger on the inside.3. Between houses, santa travels at speeds well beyond the speed of light, thus, at these speeds, time travels backwards. So he can easily spend half an hour in each house, as he will be in most of the worlds houses at exactly the same time, or maybe even before he entered the house he just left. He could get round every house in the whole world in 10 mins if he wanted, appearing in every house in the world in the same 10 minuets.Merry Christmas.Don't forget to leave the reindeers carrots. Flying faster than the speed of light leaves reindeer with empty stomachs. Edited December 25, 2005 by JT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cleanbikes Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 Please don't confuse the issue with facts! If Mary Poppins can travel about the world by jumping into a chalk picture, then Santa can travel all around the world in one night.If she can fit a housefull of furniture into a shopping bag, then Santa can manage all those parcels on a sleigh.And come on, be realistic ... if Peter Pan can just sprinkle some fairy dust to make children fly then why can't it be used to speed up the reindeer? Happy Christmas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 Please don't confuse the issue with facts! If Mary Poppins can travel about the world by jumping into a chalk picture, then Santa can travel all around the world in one night.If she can fit a housefull of furniture into a shopping bag, then Santa can manage all those parcels on a sleigh.And come on, be realistic ... if Peter Pan can just sprinkle some fairy dust to make children fly then why can't it be used to speed up the reindeer? Happy Christmas!But they are all fictional charaters, sanata is real. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cleanbikes Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 But they are all fictional charaters. Prove it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurston Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 dont be silly mate.We all know santa exsists! But it doesnt feel like crimbo ATALL this year! im not bothered lolagreed it doesn't feel at all like christmas this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
totaltrials Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 I just saw santa the movie, and I'm fully convinced santa is real, because how can it not be real if it was filmed, tuts, jesus would be proud.Phil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 I just saw santa the movie, and I'm fully convinced santa is real, because how can it not be real if it was filmed, tuts, jesus would be proud.Phil.Yeah thats a good point, I mean the closest an actor has come to being santa was jim carey in the grinch and...does that look like santa to you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 Who created Santa? How old is he? And finally...where do allthe letters posted to Santa from the little kids actually go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat hudson Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 lapland, god, you idiot!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 (edited) lapland, god, you idiot!!! But there is no Lapland. Well...if Google Maps can't find it But seriously.... Haha, look at these http://www.baetzler.de/humor/santa_qa.html Edited December 25, 2005 by Dan6061 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat hudson Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 is santas house in an address book. i didnt think so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted December 25, 2005 Report Share Posted December 25, 2005 Actually he is. My one (I hope you're joking too ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MesaMan Posted December 30, 2005 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2005 I can't believe you guys, you crack me up. Yea big deal I copied and pasted, you think I was going to write it all out again? DUHH And I've not seen it before, normally in the pub at Xmas so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.