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The Random Facts Thread


Michael Hardman

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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

>

> 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

>

> 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

>

> 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

>

> 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

>

> 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

>

> 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

>

> 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

>

> 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

>

> 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

>

> 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

>

> 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

>

> 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

>

> 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

>

> 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

>

> 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your

> teacher mum or dad.

>

> 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the

> first given opportunity.

>

> 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

>

> 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

>

> 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

>

> 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

>

> 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

>

> 24) You never ever run out of salt.

>

> 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

>

> 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

>

> 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

>

> 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

>

> 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

>

> 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

>

> 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

>

> 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood

> specifically to stir paint with.

>

> 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

>

> 34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

>

> 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

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1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

>

> 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

>

> 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

>

> 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

>

> 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

>

> 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

>

> 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

>

> 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

>

> 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

>

> 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

>

> 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

>

> 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

>

> 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

>

> 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

>

> 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

>

> 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your

> teacher mum or dad.

>

> 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the

> first given opportunity.

>

> 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

>

> 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

>

> 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!

>

> 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

>

> 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

>

> 24) You never ever run out of salt.

>

> 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

>

> 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

>

> 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

>

> 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

>

> 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

>

> 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

>

> 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard

>

> 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood

> specifically to stir paint with.

>

> 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

>

> 34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

>

> 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

Fact - these all came from a site

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when you have a bath you arent actually getting clean because your soaking in your own dead skin, and dirt and mud and oil or whatever made you dirty in the first place.

evryone realises how good and easy life was in school when you go to college or get a crappy job.

its been proven that women masturbate more than men

Edited by mr ailsbury
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when you have a bath you arent actually getting clean because your soaking in your own dead skin, and dirt and mud and oil or whatever made you dirty in the first place.

evryone realises how good and easy life was in school when you go to college or get a crappy job.

its been proven that women masturbate more than men

Yeah but they have toys we dont

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evryone realises how good and easy life was in school when you go to college or get a crappy job.

no, not my college, its the biggest doss ever, i wish i had never gone there now (Y)

random fact - toothbrush bristles are made up partly of coal....

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Yeah but they have toys we dont

We do have toys, have you never looked on porno shops. There's like plastic vaginas and stuff, even instructions how to make your own with some water baloons, a pillow, a small plastic bag, some lube and a belt.

random fact - toothbrush bristles are made up partly of coal....

Don't watch QI and quote it, you will be wrong.

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We do have toys, have you never looked on porno shops. There's like plastic vaginas and stuff, even instructions how to make your own with some water baloons, a pillow, a small plastic bag, some lube and a belt.

err, bit too much knowledge on the subject munkhay... (Y)

My random fact: another shite topic by we know who.

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err, bit too much knowledge on the subject munkhay... (Y)

My random fact: another shite topic by we know who.

Well, you take the balloons, about 5, and fill them up with warm water. Then take your pillow and roll it up and put the balloons in the centre, then once this is done and it's a snug fit (test with your hand first) tie it up with your belt, it can be the one you're wearing you don't need to hold your pants up, then you put the small plastic bag in the middle of the balloons, not a really crinkly evil one, then lube it and your johnson up, then slip it in.

I think that's the correct procedure.

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