Achieving In School

[Smo™]

My mum just gave me another bollocking for going out on my bike instead of ‘studying’ for my retake exams in January. I’m finding it a bit hard to cope now, if I want to achieve decent grades in these retakes (being taken at the same time as my first A2 modules) then I would have to be sat at a desk doing nothing but revision and homework/coursework for at least like 5 hours every night.

I wish I could just tell her how little these exams mean to me. The only reason I care if I fail them or not is because I don’t want to hurt my parents. But it’s a bit late for that. They’ve done so much to get the best for me and all I can do is say how much ‘I don’t care about any of it’. I can’t even comprehend how much that must hurt them to hear that. No matter how guilty I feel, it still doesn’t change my perspective on my exams.

Constantly I get bombarded with speeches about how important these exams are. I got bitched at for months about my GCSEs, then my AS levels, and now again with my A2’s. Granted I did shit all work and still got respectable GCSEs, I figured I could do the same with my AS exams. Big mistake. I got DDEU. Utter shite.

When I opened the envelope I took one look and thought ‘well that pretty much reflects the effort I put in’. Naturally I didn’t give a f**k, slid the results back into the envelope and drove home to tell my parents the good news.

My mother f**king cries every time she talks to me about it. ‘Words fail me Sam. I’ve put you before myself, even your father. I’ve sacrificed holidays, clothes, and god knows what. You name it, I’ve given it up for you, and you’ve rewarded me by never putting in any effort in your entire life at school have you?’

What can I say? The answer is ‘No’. I haven’t. I’ve never given a shit about school, exams or grades on a piece of paper. Believe me there’s no worse feeling than sitting there watching your mother cry out of despair because you’ve wasted away all she’s ever given you. It’s not that I don’t love her, my parents are the dearest people I know and I love them more than anything.

No matter what happens, I just can’t bring myself to work hard at school. I can’t explain it, I just don’t ever try. I don’t understand it. There can’t be anything I can do that would express my sorrow for what I’ve done other than to work hard at school. But that’s the thing, I just can’t. I’ve tried but nothing interests me. Geography? Who cares. Geology? Who cares? ICT? Who cares? All I want to do is ride my bike and be happy.

I just don’t have the balls to tell my parents that I’m not someone else (I constantly get told of the achievements of kids belonging to people my mum works with). I am who I am and I want them to be proud of me. I’ve said no to drugs, I don’t drink and I act sensibly. Being a good human being just isn't enough to get you through life. I'm a dreamer who desperately clings to the hope of a lottery win to save me from my bottomless pit of underachievement. My goals are so different to theirs, but it’s not so simple to explain.

Sometimes I want to let it all out and tell them how I backwheeled 50” today and how chuffed I was with it. That won’t get me anywhere in real life though, will it? If I put that down on my CV when applying for a £60,000 a year job it’d get shredded. Why is it so hard for me to realise that I’m being childish?

I guess I wish I could change.

[biketrialler]

It might sound obvious but all of those people that are telling you to do work, or not get very far, are telling the truth.

Some people are naturals and find stuff easy, and do well at it. Some people dont. You dont seem to be great at stuff easily. Thats fine. If you want to dont care enough to give it a fair crack, and get some reasonable results, then ok, just dont post on here in a few months saying 'hey guys, job centre is shit, there arent any good well paid jobs going for people with no grades'.

So basically... if you dont care... nobody is going to force you to do well. You wont do well. You chose that. You'll live with it. Your parents will still live the life they have built and worked for themselves. Its hard to know what to say to you...

[Dr. Nick Riviera]

" live in the moment "

[ben_travis]

been there, done that,

yer is very annoying when your parents give you speeches such as this, as if their happiness is to see their child grow to be a 60,000 per annum guy, i have just nodded and appreciated that they care. I realised, much at the same time as you, that i f**ked up majorly, i really did, i put my head down and did the best i could at A2, now im a student, doing well on an architectural course, that i really enjoy, dont do much work, but pass everything, now entering 3rd year.

These years are important, i know you want to ride your bike, dont we all, but here we are, this is life, it will change, improve, maybe worsen, but its what we do, remember our sole reason for living is to reproduce :ermm:

Just try hard sam, its worth it, i know you just want to ride your bike, but if you have no method of funding/eating/drinking then you are f**ked anyway. And for most, asda dont cut it as a full time job (no offence to those that id does cut it)

meh, my two pence before bed with a hot chocolate.

p.s your parents are right though, the time you are in now, is the basis of your life :$

[Davetrials]

Sounds simelar trials ruins your life, your f**ked now and it f**ks you physicly when where older.

[Will Arnold]

i hate the way life works, your young and full of life wanting to do exciting and exhilirating things, yet you have to waste most of this time sitting in a room/colege/school/uni/libary doing work, wishing you were outside enjoying youth.

then when your older you will have a good job and a sound income, but you will be looking back at your younger years thinking, i wish i would have spent my time doing more exciting things...

exactly how much effort/time to put into things is a hard balance i guess.

and im prettey much in the same position as you, i dont see myself doing all this work benefiting me more than spending this time having a good time :$

anyone else feel this way?

cheers

Will

Edited October 18, 2005 by WILL ARNOLD

[MrMonkey]

If you're not doing something you enjoy you obviously won't give 100%. Like I hated my AS Levels completely, bar Politics, but because of the other 3 I just couldn't be bothered at all with it. This year I'm doing a Forensic Science course and I absolutely love it. So I'm taking everything in, already got loads of notes etc etc.

[Mark W]

Word.

Basically, the plan was was that like my brother and sister, I'd go to uni and so on.

However, no uni course interests me. I just want to get a job I enjoy, earn some money and ride as much as possible. Riding, playing in bands and so on make me happy, and we're all aiming for happiness, so I don't really wanna f**k around with 3 more years of education, getting into a shitload of debt to end up doing the same thing anyway...

But your call. Just really try and explain your P.o.v., but not in a "I just can't be arsed" way. Say exactly what you think, don't just cut it short...

[JTM]

Ive come to realise now that you dont need great A levels or some unviversity degree to geta good job. Im a clever lad, but lazy as sin. Got very good GCSEs grades cos I didnt have to revise. But when It came to AS I failed everything. By this point I started to question if uni was for me as I was just going with the flow. I realised I couldnt be arsed with any more of the same and the debt aswell. I changed my goals and now doing an appreticeship at British Aerospace. The moneys good, or at least it will be lol. Its VERY intresting and the prospects are unbelievable.

Do what YOU want. My parents were gutted when I said I wasnt going to Uni. They had been paying 3.5k a term for me to go to my school. They came round to it finally and now my mum woldnt want it any other way

[on that? u must be joking]

I agree with most of the above posts. I had pretty much the same problem as you: I breezed through GCSE's with no problem at all, and assumed A-levels would be the same. Then I started getting n's and u's in some of my subjects. Lucky for me we could retake each module as many times as we wanted so I was able to come out with decent grades, but the only thing that made me put effort in was knowing that I was doing courses which would be helpful to me in later life (maths, physics, design technology and economics) as I wanted to be an engineer. From a-level onwards it's been a bit of a slog, but now i'm pretty much done with education and should have no problem getting my ideal job.

There's no point in doing something just to please your parents as you will resent them for it for the rest of your life. My advice would be to assess whether you are actually doing the right courses for you or not, and if not then think about taking a different route. You clearly have the intellectual capacity to do pretty much whatever you want, you just need the motivation.

Finally, stop being a lazy b*****d. There is no excuse for this and it is not acceptable as a reson for not putting in the required effort. Talk to anyone and they will tell you that they do not like work and can't be arsed with it.

Andy.

[biketrialler]

Actually, arent you one of those people that loves making websites and pissing around in photoshop? Are you on a media/graphics/film/photography course?

If you are, and you still cant be arsed to do the work, you deserve to never do well!!! If you arent on one of those courses... why arent you as they would cover what seems to interest you!

[Tomm]

You just need to see it from your parent's point of view. All your parents want is what's best for you. You are probably too young to see that. I can't really talk because I didn't really put much effort in at school, but I do think it's definitely worth it. It's either that or leave school and get a job on minimum wage*, and do that until you die* with very little time for riding*.

Like everyone has basically said, don't do it for your Mum or anyone else, but bear in mind that a bit of work at this stage will go a long way. You never really hear of people who regret working hard at A-Levels, but you hear of loads of people who regret not working hard enough at school. But perhaps you should have chosen A-Levels that were less dull :$

*Probably

[munkee]

Forget about the bike and sort out your education. Ive worked my tits off for every grade ive got and finally my parents have seen that and realised that biking is just something i do to let off steam etc. The harder you work the more free time you get with zero worries about anything. Its an amazing feeling to have finished all your work and realise that you have literally nothing better to do than ..... ( insert pass time ). You get rewarded by hard work.. no matter what the circumstances. My parents wanted me to quit trials for so long because they saw it was something i was getting addicted to it and when i went off to uni i wouldnt do any work. I learnt my lesson about that back at school, life is just so much easier when you get your work done and get the grades trust me.

To be honest i like my uni course.. but its not THE most interesting thing out there, but like my dad said.. theres always going to be a lot of money in civil engineering. So yea, im in it for the money. Some things you just have to stick out and bear the boredom until you get on the other side. Dont listen to all this shit about people leaving school etc and earning millions... thats like a 1% chance of happening and even then you have to put your bollocks on the line to make the venture work. I think the main problem is you've spent so long shrugging off work and going biking that now its just a cycle thats not going to stop. Just think of it this way.. if you sit down infront of books for 30 minutes... if you remember 1 thing.. its 1 thing you didnt know before that may come up in the exam.

Also if revising is hard.. remember learn to pass exams.. not the subject. Basically that means get yourself a shit load of past exam papers. Every paper ( 90% id say) has the exact same format and questions just with the numbers changed. So look at a paper.. see what each question is and learn only those topics. It is kinda a hit or miss thing ( which happened to me in maths last semester ) that you do get the same format. But even when they changed my whole paper i still managed to pass just because of the ground knowledge of learning the old style papers. Theres usually one question that is totally different most years.. sort of trying to seperate the B grade people and the A people i like to think it as. So revise these ones hard.. they will keep you questioning things so your mind doesnt get bored with doing the same old questions all the time. Its just all about pacing yourself and learning what you need to and not everything.

[Tom Booth]

i hated my gcse's and as level history and gnvq enginnering, so i did shite all in them and got enough to atleast come out with a decent ennough grade, but now im on a 3d design course at college and i love it, put 100% into it, and still get time to ride, its brill. just find a course that intrests you at a college, and go for it, if you dont like it drop it and get a job, sorted.

[Alexx]

" live in the moment "

Though a nice concept, the world doesn't reflect that of hollywood and fight club.

Whatever you do you have to some SOMETHING for your future, else your 'moment' will be rather dull for the rest of your life.

I always think the 'I don't care about grades' is a sort of defence mechanism. I've heard myself say those words many times, but in the last few weeks before my GCSEs I just though 'f**k it' and really put my head down an worked for the first time in years, and I'm glad i did because I came out well from it. AS and A2 levels I sort of float through, I don't activly work but i'm not actively lazy either, I just do whats required and no less.

At the end of the day there are several careers that require work, but not through collage school, things like jobs in fitness and health, the airline industry etc, so as long as you don't totally f**k up you can still be ok.

[mod_rider]

I go through fases of wanting to work, and then others where I just want to play and do stuff for me.

Then I get a wake up call, be it a test score or something and try again, but then I think I could die tomorrow, and spending all my free time studying was not what I was put on this planet to do. I believe we were put on this planet to have a good time, and don't some philosipher come along and say "You were put on this planet to hunt for food and survive" n all that crap.

I dunno, there's got to be a compromise somewhere along the way, but there's not point in living if you don't enjoy yourself!!!

[ben_travis]

I go through fases of wanting to work, and then others where I just want to play and do stuff for me.

Then I get a wake up call, be it a test score or something and try again, but then I think I could die tomorrow, and spending all my free time studying was not what I was put on this planet to do. I believe we were put on this planet to have a good time, and don't some philosipher come along and say "You were put on this planet to hunt for food and survive" n all that crap.

I dunno, there's got to be a compromise somewhere along the way, but there's not point in living if you don't enjoy yourself!!!

to reproduce :$

[Ali C]

I for one couldnt give a shit about grades!! I dont want some big job where I am under preissure and have to work long hours. I just want a simple easy job, somthing that if I do somthing wrong its no big deal.

Its a good job I dont care about grades, as I dont have any. I didnt do any gcses.

But even if in the future you wished you had gotten higher grades, theres no stopping you taking the exams again? or going to college or uni. You dont HAVE to do all this now.

I actually think your parents are pretty mean, putting you under all this preissure. My parents are happy as long as I am happy. If that means not doing any exams, they will understand that and let me get one with with what I enjoy doing.

But maybe my parents are going easy on me sa both my brother and sister are now doctors in their chosen subject, 2 out of 3 kids isnt bad >_<

[dave85]

I for one couldnt give a shit about grades!! I dont want some big job where I am under preissure and have to work long hours. I just want a simple easy job, somthing that if I do somthing wrong its no big deal.

f**king spot on.

When i was 17 my parents were very pushy for me to do well academically, now theyve realised its not where i belong theyve calmed down. I'm pretty close to sacking my studies altogether, but theyve bought me enough time to figure out what i want to do.

If you want to stick two fingers up at your 'rents and get decent marks, really try spacemunkee's technique, past papers really do work, with less effort than most other methods.

If its anything to think about, the two happiest men i know have pretty poorly thought-of jobs and sod all money, but theyre doing what they love. Find something you like doing, everything else will fall into place >_<

[Hiltop]

do you not feel shit if you look back and know you can do something alot better?

im not going to pretend that i work hard because i don't compared to alot. but i make damn sure that i put the work in the weeks before exams. f**king good feeling knowing that you proved the teacher wrong who said you would never do it.

i guess i work because i know that if i dont i will regret it. like this year i need 3 A's to get the course that i want and i know that that course will lead to a shit hot job. i have two options dick about or nuckle down. i honestly believe if you cut the crap in your life such as watching tv then you can still go out as much and have just as much free time just by using it properly.

[spangler]

I'm 19 i failed all my GCSE's and hated the concept of forced learning >_<

But now, i've got my own house, a job that pays well and i enjoy. I get to ride from 2pm onwards everyday, I'm with a women that i love (and am marrying at easter), and i have to say that i really enjoy life (Y)

None of that came from what i learned from school

I work as a window cleaner at Birmingham airport and get paid £15,000 a year.

I'm Training to be a Microsoft Certified Systems Administrator (MCSA) on a 1 year course that i didnt need any qualifications to get on and in one year i can earn a £25k starting salary and will be set for life.

I do not regret not trying hard at school as i had loads of fun all through school doing things that i enjoyed and since leaving school i have learned a lot about life, money and happiness.

Work out what you want from life be it lots of money, happyness, whatever just make sure your always edging in the dirrection you want to be going in and you WILL be happy!

Edited October 19, 2005 by spangler

[PaRtZ]

Im in the same position as you mate >_< I know the feeling, except my mother doesn't tell me straight that she's disappointed.

I have 2 older brothers who are very intelligent, and ofcourse because Im from the same gene pool im intelligent too. Yeah.... you find the 100% guarantee of that for me and I might believe it.

Yeah I opened my results and stared at E's D's and C's. It was a kinda horrible feeling for me cos it was the first time I felt I had failed. My GCSE results were pretty good so this came as quite a shock. I passed them all though, except when I told my dad he said "oh thats strange considering you didn't do any work"...thanks dad...

The thing that pissed me off the most was they expected me to achieve glorious heights, but whether it was through their own ignorance or them trying to "encourage" me, they never accepted the fact that Im not as academic as my brothers

I for one couldnt give a shit about grades!!

Yeah i agree with that too. Especially in maths, no one cares if you can differentiate the sin wave. If you can add VAT onto something, I think you're sorted for life (Y)

Your post was quite inspiring to be honest. At least your honest and not trying to say that you're someone else. I wouldn't change anything about my attitude, its what makes me me, and if someone doesn't like it then ah well, tough shizzle

All I can say is, do what you want, but respect the wishes of your parents.

[Smo™]

Thanks for all your help guys, you've all said something to help and that's important to me so I really appreciate your support. I knew I wasn't alone but it's nice to have the reassurance that you can find happiness without worrying about writing a paper on the effects of tourism on local culture.

[Dr. Nick Riviera]

t you can find happiness without worrying about writing a paper on the effects of tourism on local culture.

too f**king right you can