trials_pimp Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys when they aren't looking. 02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals 03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies toilet. 04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens. 05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit. 06. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department and tell other shoppers you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding Department. 08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose. 10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are located. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. 12. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse through, say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices again!!!" And last but not least: 14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 OMFG they are hillarious!!! (Y) :P The tomato juice once sounds like fu n. Best one was the tent :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sir trial a lot Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 ahahahahahahahaha!! i laughed for ages at them!! my throat is now sore :P (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackghostknife Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices again!!!" ^ haha thats one i gotta try (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trials_rocks Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 Haha, i read this just as im about to go to asda to do a bit of shopping. Some of them sound tempting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downhill_rob2@hotmail.com Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 hahahaha, Me and my cousin when were little went round putting massive turkeys in people trollies (Y) We just got one each and walked up to someone when they were pushing it and put it in and walked off hahahaha was funny! :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalopS Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 Thankyou (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaRtZ Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 Code 3 in Housewares... and see what happens. Whats a houseware? :P yeah seen em before, some old woman today thought she'd put her money on the conveyor belt and then not let it stop. I watched with sheer amusement as they tumbled inside the machine :P (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarky Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 (Y) U are a legend ! clarky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Motivator Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 OLD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 hahahaha, Me and my cousin when were little went round putting massive turkeys in people trollies (Y) We just got one each and walked up to someone when they were pushing it and put it in and walked off hahahaha was funny! :P Few years ago my dad picked me up and put me in with the frozen turkeys. There was a shop assistant stood less than 10m away and he just looked in amazement hehe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downhill_rob2@hotmail.com Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 Few years ago my dad picked me up and put me in with the frozen turkeys. There was a shop assistant stood less than 10m away and he just looked in amazement hehe. haha, you big turkey! (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sameer Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 OLD And I swear he posted it last time as well...?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si-man Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 OLD! Great, lighten up. Maybe it is old but its still hilarious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badboy Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 (edited) It is old, but it was me that posted it before. Was a good few months ago though. Always good to keep people reminded of these things, then we can see who tries them out and what happens :blink: Edit: was me in June! Edited October 12, 2005 by Badboy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trials_pimp Posted October 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 Asds is such a funny place. The Last time a few of us whent there was funny. Mate was filling people trollies fully with crap. Launched a Salad fork over 2 isles, and landed it in some womans trolly, who simply stared at the ceiling when she saw it. Tried to pass Br3n a mini rugby ball, but he couldnt catch it, and it knocked a Vase off the Shelf. Was Playing with said ball in the car park, waiting for someone. Hit numerous cars, and another lady square in the face. Ah such fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freddie Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 (edited) LOL they cracked me up. (Y) I like reading these type of lists. :blink: Edited October 12, 2005 by Freddie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 Mate was filling people trollies fully with crap. Was so funny when they noticed, we claimed ignorance and walked off. :blink: Launched a Salad fork over 2 isles, and landed it in some womans trolly, who simply stared at the ceiling when she saw it. Ahahahaha. I saw it coming over and noticed the women walking, so i was getting ready to bolt from the aisle, until it landed in her trolley and she was so confused haha. Tried to pass Br3n a mini rugby ball, but he couldnt catch it, and it knocked a Vase off the Shelf. Was Playing with said ball in the car park, waiting for someone. Hit numerous cars, and another lady square in the face. Ah such fun That ball caused so much havoc it was untrue. (Y) ASDA for the win. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan6061 Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 :blink: Lmao! Number 14 for the win! (Y) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark W Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 Nice to see the divide between 'townie scum' and 'trials rider' blurring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hardman Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 The security guard hit me in the back at Siansburys today, meh but I know him hes a legend. Ill get him back next time Im there. Oh and hes a legend becasue some guy tried to walk out with £150 worth of make up, he got out the main exit and Judd (the guard) aske dhim what he had unde rhis coat. He bolted and Judd just picke dhim up and smashed him into the glass door a few times. The guy can ran like a cheeta aswell anbd is so funny. Oh hes black aswell and supports Arsenal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al_Fel Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. Thats my fave. The security guard hit me in the back at Siansburys today, meh but I know him hes a legend. Ill get him back next time Im there. Oh and hes a legend becasue some guy tried to walk out with £150 worth of make up, he got out the main exit and Judd (the guard) aske dhim what he had unde rhis coat. He bolted and Judd just picke dhim up and smashed him into the glass door a few times. The guy can ran like a cheeta aswell anbd is so funny. Oh hes black aswell and supports Arsenal. What shoe size is he, what underwear does he wear? and is there any more random information on the guy? lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Hardman Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 Thats my fave. What shoe size is he, what underwear does he wear? and is there any more random information on the guy? lol Haha I knew someone would reply. Copme down to me and you can ask him yourself if your that interested Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackghostknife Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 74. How To Terrorize McDonalds by The Jolly Roger Now, although McDonalds is famous for it's advertising and making the whole world think that the BigMac is the best thing to come along since sliced bread (buns?), each little restaurant is as amateur and simple as a new-found business. Not only are all the employees rather inexperienced at what they're supposed to do, but they will just loose all control when an emergency occurs....here we go!!! First, get a few friends (4 is good...I'll get to this later) and enter the McDonalds restaurant, talking loudly and reeking of some strange smell that automatically makes the old couple sitting by the door leave. If one of those pimply-faced goons is wiping the floor, then track some crap all over it (you could pretend to slip and break your head, but you might actually do so). Next, before you get the food, find a table. Start yelling and releasing some strange body odor so anybody would leave their table and walk out the door. Sit two friends there, and go up to the counter with another. Find a place where the line is short, or if the line is long say "I only wanna buy a coke." and you get moved up. Now, you get to do the ordering ...heh heh heh. Somebody always must want a plain hamburger with absolutely nothing on it (this takes extra time to make, and drives the little hamburger-makers insane)..order a 9-pack of chicken McNuggets...no, a 20 pack...no, three 6 packs...wait...go back to the table and ask who wants what. Your other friend waits by the counter and makes a pass at the female clerk. Get back to the thing and order three 6-packs of chicken etc....now she says "What kind of sauce would you like?". Of course, say that you all want barbecue sauce one of your friends wants 2 (only if there are only 2 containers of barbecue sauce left). Then they hafta go into the storeroom and open up another box. Finally, the drinks...somebody wants coke, somebody root beer, and somebody diet coke. After these are delivered, bring them back and say "I didn't order a diet coke! I ordered a sprite!" This gets them mad; better yet, turn down something terrible that nobody wants to drink, so they hafta throw the drink away; they can't sell it. After all the food(?) is handed to you, you must never have enough money to pay. The clerk will be so angry and confused that she'll let you get away with it (another influence on her is your friend asking her "If you let us go, I'll go out with you." and giving her a fake phone number). Now, back to your table. But first, somebody likes ketchup and mustard. And plenty (too much) of napkins. Oh, and somebody likes forks and knives, so always end up breaking the ones you pick outta the box. Have your friends yell out, “Yay!!!!! We have munchies!!" As loud as they can. That'll worry the entire restaurant. Proceed to sit down. So, you are sitting in the smoking section (by accident) eh? Well, while one of the tobacco-breathers isn't looking, put a sign from the other side of the room saying "Do not smoke here" and he'll hafta move...then he goes into the real non-smoking section, and gets yelled at. He then thinks that no smoking is allowed in the restaurant, so he eats outside (in the pouring rain) after your meal is finished (and quite a few splattered-opened ketchup packets are all over your table), try to leave. But oops! Somebody has to do his duty in the men's room. As he goes there, he sticks an uneaten hamburger (would you dare to eat one of their hamburgers?) Inside the toilet, flushes it a while, until it runs all over the bathroom. Oops! Send a pimply-faced teenager to clean it up. (He won't know that brown thing is a hamburger, and he'll get sick. Wheee!) As you leave the restaurant, looking back at your uncleaned table, somebody must remember that they left their chocolate shake there! The one that's almost full!!!! He takes it then says "This tastes like crap!", Then he takes off the lid and throws it into the garbage can...oops! He missed, and now the same poor soul who's cleaning up the bathroom now hasta clean up chocolate shake. Then leave the joint, reversing the "Yes, we're open" sign (as a reminder of your visit) There you have it! You have just put all of McDonalds into complete mayhem. And since there is no penalty for littering in a restaurant, bugging people in a public eatery (or throw-upery, in this case) you get off scot-free. Wasn't that fun? Same kinda thing lol just not as good (Y) Got it out of 'the anarchy cookbook' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark W Posted October 12, 2005 Report Share Posted October 12, 2005 Not 100% sure that's from the original (and best (Y) Anarchist's Cookbook, in that they tended to write better stuff than that that was also better written in general and wasn't shit :) There are *loads* of 'fake' Cookbooks though, so I guess it's something to do with one of them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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