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Way Too Much Thinking Time...


munkee

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So since practically every friend i have has gone back to uni i've done nothing but bike and go on the internet for the last 2 weeks its given me a lot of thinking time to say the least. What does the future hold?

Career

Family/Death

Love life

Money

Independence

I thought about some of the things above... career... i pretty much dont want to stay in the uk... because the way this place is run its a f**king joke. I've always wanted to move to the usa or canada.. but thats going to be a major major major change. ill have to sort out so much shit, the plan was to do it after university but then theres the whole "will my parents come or will they stay in the uk". Yea if i go myself that will be major independence but its definitely going to be the highest point of lonelyness ever ( something that might change my mind and make me want to move back home). Theres just so much shit its overwhelming to even think about.. how the hell do you start a whole new life in a new country? its just f**king nuts. Im just hoping i find a job with a civil engineering company that can place me abroad or something ughh my head hurts already.

Then i was thinking about family. Lets face it.. the day is going to come that our parents arent here. They are going to die. I dont want this to sound super depressing but damn.. that must be the most heartbraking thing to ever have happen to anyone. To just be stuck there not being able to ask them for help or their view on something. You spend so long with them there.. how do people deal with life without them?

Then there was money.. this is another major reason why i want to move abroad. The exchange rate is going to practically double the money you have if you go to the states. Their houses seem to be twice as big for the same price we pay here in the uk. It just seems like the right option... but then we have to go back to the first big paragraph rant...how the f**k do you just wake up one day.. sell everything you own.. and move to a new country... knowing NO ONE. Its just insane... :rolleyes:

I could go on for hours, maybe this post is just something i needed to snap out of all the thinking.. but does anyone else really shit their selves over whats going to happen next? ( i remember being worried about not going to university and my A level grades.. but now it just seems that was nothing ). We've all heard people living by the saying " live every day as it comes " or words to that effect.. but dear lordy that can only work up to a certain point... you will just end up in a dead end job with f**k all to show for your life.

Edited by Spacemunkee
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Seems to me like a job would be the first sensible move, giving you stability, money and a grounding in a certain country.

Some things you can't do anything about, you just have to let them be, and make them most of what you have now.

Civil Engineering gives you the world as your workplace (Some girl who just moved to my school's father is a Civil Engineer and moved from Canada, to the Ascention islands [8 degrees south of the Equator, between Africa and South America] and now resides in Tonbridge Wells, Kent).

Whatever you do, make sure you're 100% sure of what you're doing... However, be prepared to take risks, it will make it much more of an adventure, and you won't get very far from your bed in the morning if you don't take any risks, let alone set off on an aeroplane to another land.

Obviously English speaking countries will make it ALOT more familiar and in turn it will be an experience without being too daunting.

You're definatly not alone, I'm deciding as to what uni i want to go to next year, that's hard enough...

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Then i was thinking about family. Lets face it.. the day is going to come that our parents arent here. They are going to die. I dont want this to sound super depressing but damn.. that must be the most heartbraking thing to ever have happen to anyone. To just be stuck there not being able to ask them for help or their view on something. You spend so long with them there.. how do people deal with life without them?

I know exactly what it feels like....My mum passed away last year and it killed me pretty much because i always could talk to her and she just helped me so soo much with everything in my life and i hadn't got a strong bond with my dad as he is never at the house as he works nights now so never saw him, the HARDEST part of it it was having to sit there knowing that she wasn't going to make it yet pretend that she was....Walking into the hospital all positvie like she will be coming out that day/night but i knew she wasn't going to. Everytime walking into the room that they had put my mum in was more of a fear factor....because you walk into hospital positive then when i saw her with all the wires and stuff man that's soo hard because that positive feeling just sinks right out of your head and everything else comes back into it.

Everyone's life has to end nobody will live for ever so live your life to its full, take risks you only live once! If you fail just try again...never give up on goals or dreams until you get to them!

Nick.

Edited by Nick Dale
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