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Worst Jokes Competition


ScotchDave

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  • 2 weeks later...

A woman walks into her doctor's office, scared of the strange development recently to the inside of her legs... a green spot on the inside of each.

They won't wash off, they won't scrape off, and they seem to be getting worse. The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of this, and that she needn't worry until tests come back.

He sends her home. A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's going on with these spots.

"You're perfectly healthy--there's no problem. But I'm wondering: is your boyfriend a chav?" the doctor asks.

"Yes - how did you know?"

"Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

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3 vampires walk into a pub

the first one goes to the bar and orders a pint of blood, the barman gives him a pint of blood and off he goes

the second one goes to the bar asks for a pint of blood and then returns to his seat

the third one goes to the bar and asks for a cup and a pot of boiling water

'don't you want a pint of blood like your mates' says the barman

the vampire pulls a used tampon out of his pocket and says

'haven't you ever heard of tea bags???'

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