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Townies/Neds/Chavs/Whatever...


Mark W

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Well, I live in Glasgow, ned capital of the known universe, so I feel I have a right to an opinion.

Yes neds are f**king annoying pieces of shit, and yes the new 1st year (year 6 I think) are alot more annoying than my year ever were but;

neds are mostly the product of their upbringing, they all behave as they do because they don't know any better, I know a few of the local neds who are supposed to be important. They are nice people once they get to know you, they give you shit you give them shit back a wee bit and its all good, you'll never have more hassle, they just live by a different set of rules to us, learn them and your sorted.

Now the real question why are neds neds? alot of them are neds through no fault of their own. However there are a few wankers that are neds because they're little dicks anyway. but the vast majority grew up that way its all they know and we can't blame them for it (can you blame a small child for speaking it's mind), we just need to try and help them onto the straight and narrow and before anyone says it doesn't work I have seen it happen before and more and more often the older we get.

Rant over

Edited by div
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You coul even blame the media in particualer the pop industry for creating trendy images.

Can, and have (Y)

Yeah, when you've got the media pumping the idea that it's cool to be a rudeboy gangsta from the "ghetto"*, then it's not going to be good. You could argue that the media is just colourful pictures, but notice how the fashion trends of chav scum tend to exactly mirror those of Eminem/50 Cent/Ali G (which is ironic, seeing as he's taking the piss out of chavs, but they reckon he's their God?). Meh, either way, it's still shit that people think they have the right to beat people up whenever and wherever they want. Random Stranger Assaults (where chavs just go up and beat shit into whoever they see) are still on the up, which is nice...

Mark.

*By which most "rap stars" seem to mean a well off, middle class background? They're full of contradictions, e.g. 50 Cent singing "E'rybody in the club gettin tipsy" - apart from you, you Tee-Totaller :S If someone's shot you 9 times, doesn't that suggest you're a wanker? Much like constantly changing your TF username *cough*

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We should get given Vulcan Miniguns. You know just incase. HAHA I can hear it now. "Jump him" *WHIRRRRR* *RATATATATATATATATATATTATAATTATATATATATAAATATATATATATATATATATATATA* 500 bullet holes in a wall with some dead chavs in front of it (Y)

Edited by MrMonkey
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lots of townie jokes, lol

Q. What do you call a townie in a box?

A. Innit.

Q. What do you call a townie in a filing cabinet?

A. Sorted.

Q. How can you tell a female townie virgin?

A. She can run faster than her brothers.

Q. What do you call a townie on a bike?

A. A theif

Q. What do you call a townie in a car?

A. Arrested

Q.What do you call a townie waiting in a bus shelter?

A. At a party.

Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?

A. Failed.

Q. What do you call a 12 year old townie girl?

A. Pregnant.

Q. What do you call a townie girl without any children?

A. Under the age of 5.

Q. What do you call a townie in a skatepark?

A. Lost.

Q. Why did the townie cross the road?

A. To punch someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

Q. Whats a townies favourite car?

A. One without an alarm

Q. Why did the Townie stare at the carton of Orange Juice?

A. Because it had 'concentrate' on it.

Q. What do you say to a townie in a suit?

A. Will the defendant please stand

Q. What did the little towny say to the bigger towny?

A. Can you get served?

Q. Why do townies constantly rev their engines?

A. So they don't cut out.

Q. What do you call a townie in a jar of honey?

A. Sweet!

Q. What do you call a townie in a coffin?

A. A damn good reason to kill another.

Q. What do u say to a boy racer when he is circling?

A. Are you lost?

Q. Why did the townie shag the chicken?

A. He couldn't find any other breast meat.

Q. What do you call two dead townies?

A. A good start to the day.

Q. What do townies use as protection during sex?

A. A bus shelter.

Q. What do you say to a townie with a job?

A. Can I have a Big Mac please?

Q. What is a townies favourite ice cream?

A. Mint!

Q. Whats the difference between a dying townie and an onion?

A. Onions make you cry.

Q. What have townie girls got in common with turtles?

A. When they're on their back they're screwed.

Q. What happens to a thought in a townies head?

A. It dies of loneliness.

Q. How does a townie girl turn the lights off after sex?

A. She closes the car door.

Q. How many townies does it take to change a light bulb?

A. 5. 1 to put it in, the other 4 to tell him "innit, innit, innit, innit".

Q. What do you call a 30 year old townie?

A. Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.

Q. What do you call a townie in hell?

A. Wicked.

Q. WHat do you call a townie in a fridge?

A. Chillin'.

Q. What do you do if you run a townie over?

A. Slip it into reverse just to make sure.

Q. What do you call a townie in an iron box?

A. Saphe.

Q. What do you do if you shoot a townie?

A. Reload.

Q. What do a war veteran and a used townie condom have in common?

A. They both live to fight another day.

Q. Why did that townie go to prison?

A. He got caught stealing pens to apply for his dole cheques with

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lol most of the townie jokes were ok apart from one

Q. What do you say to a townie with a job?

A. Can I have a Big Mac please?

I work at maccyds and i am in no way a chav, i need the money. I request an apology for your crass generalisation of mcdonalds employees (only the managers are chavs)

Ben

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lol most of the townie jokes were ok apart from one

Q. What do you say to a townie with a job?

A. Can I have a Big Mac please?

I work at maccyds and i am in no way a chav, i need the money. I request an apology for your crass generalisation of mcdonalds employees (only the managers are chavs)

Ben

jeeze geez they are jokes not everyone is a chav who works at maccy Ds but some are, thats why its funny, i had to rev my old car just to keep it running but i aint a chav and im not up here complaing take it as its intended.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Can, and have :-

Yeah, when you've got the media pumping the idea that it's cool to be a rudeboy gangsta from the "ghetto"*, then it's not going to be good.  You could argue that the media is just colourful pictures, but notice how the fashion trends of chav scum tend to exactly mirror those of Eminem/50 Cent/Ali G (which is ironic, seeing as he's taking the piss out of chavs, but they reckon he's their God?).  Meh, either way, it's still shit that people think they have the right to beat people up whenever and wherever they want.  Random Stranger Assaults (where chavs just go up and beat shit into whoever they see) are still on the up, which is nice...

Mark.

*By which most "rap stars" seem to mean a well off, middle class background?  They're full of contradictions, e.g. 50 Cent singing "E'rybody in the club gettin tipsy" - apart from you, you Tee-Totaller :lol:  If someone's shot you 9 times, doesn't that suggest you're a wanker?  Much like constantly changing your TF username *cough*

chavs are nothing like gangstas though\?

Edited by trialsking 55
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That's the whole point, chavs are just wannabes. Just talentless dickheads who can't actually do anything on their own, so have to go around in groups and try and emulate people 'cos they can't actually form their own opinions, etc.

They want to be gangstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas, but aren't. It's funny watching the slow process where they find that out.

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why is this thread stickied???

it is simply another normal thread with people going on about 'townies' like normal.

john

It was made to put a stop to the numerous amounts of "oh my god I hate chavs soooooo much" threads.

The idea is all the anti-townie posts are contained in one thread, thus decluttering the forum (Y)

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