Jang Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like? Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like? Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny. Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me? Wellhung: OK. Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge. Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat. Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest. Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling. Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly. Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing. Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry. Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive. Wellhung: I'll pay for it. Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder. Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors? Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you. Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp. Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me. Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat! Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear. Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really. Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse. Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop. Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool. Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee! Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties. Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute. Sweetheart: What's the matter? Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. Sweetheart: Are you OK? Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red. Sweetheart: Can I help? Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups? Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink. Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better. Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover. Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now. Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you. Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom? Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall. Wellhung: I found it. Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly. Wellhung: Me too. Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other. Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses? Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table. Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby! Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom. Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover. Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid. Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return. Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh! Sweetheart: What's the matter now? Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way. Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on. Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my... you know... thing... in your... you know... woman's thing. Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it! Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here. Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now! Wellhung: I'm flaccid. Sweetheart: What? Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection. Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face. Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong. Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse. Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles. Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face. Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser! Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo! Sweetheart: [logged off] HAHAAH (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 ahahah thats proper funny. the reality of cyber sex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinky Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 yer saw that ages ago still proper funny though (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Motivator Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 hahaha, lol. (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bonney@X-Street Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 that is f**king ace! so funny (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davetrials Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 lol thats excellent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frika Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 lol, saw that ages ago, still well funny :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 hahaha, thats hilarious! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
totaltrials Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 That;s good role play, funny too. Shit ive just realised I'm wearing tracky pants, I thought I had jeans on, DAM. :( :S Pholis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mavic Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 :( Thats great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom s Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 Quality! :S :P :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazy_gap girl Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 :( that rules propa funny it could happen though in real life haha lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScotchDave Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 Genius :S :( :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
N.Wood Posted April 27, 2004 Report Share Posted April 27, 2004 :( Ha ha, quality, proper funny my good man :S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialorfail Posted April 28, 2004 Report Share Posted April 28, 2004 funny :( but seriouslly though.. does anyone really get turned on by cybersex? doesn't really do much 4 me.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jang Posted April 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2004 but seriouslly though.. does anyone really get turned on by cybersex? doesn't really do much 4 me.. you've not been chatting to the right ladies obviously :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zero Orangey Fluff Posted April 28, 2004 Report Share Posted April 28, 2004 Well that certainly broke up my exciting research on trilateration...I thank u sire... Teehee... U can almost picture it... Sponge x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoRcO Posted April 29, 2004 Report Share Posted April 29, 2004 More here lmfao at the rhino and pirate one!!!! top stuff :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trialorfail Posted April 29, 2004 Report Share Posted April 29, 2004 Norco : thats just brilliant.. haha top stuff :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pauly Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 LMFAO i couldnt stop laffing at that Pauly :turned: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Clark Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 Why the huuuuuuge bump? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janson Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 men förhelvete.. to the thread: die already! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sameer Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 (edited) I saw a NoRcO post and was like woaahhhh. Then the date and was even woooaaaahhh'er. Zoo_Rider, did you search for 'cybersex' here? Why on trials-forum?! Edit: Ahhh, I just read the other thread. Sense: made. Edited February 27, 2005 by Sameer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phatmike Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 http://www.trials-forum.co.uk/forum/index....showtopic=50068 *Sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davetrials Posted February 27, 2005 Report Share Posted February 27, 2005 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA when he says he picks up the bra and inpects the clasp LMAO!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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