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The crash thread


Thebigjam101

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Not sure if it's ready here somewhere, but anyway! Tell us a story of the worst bike related crash.

I'll start:

Was returning from work one day at high speed, on the pavement. (Was too busy of a road to merit going on it) I approached a fourway crossing at high speed, all lights red. About 3

Meters away from the edge of the curb, they turned green- and they must've been red for a while as all the cars shot off liked stabbed rats! I immediately Realised that if I continued I would be run over, and instinctively jammed on the brakes. Being right handed, the brake that stopped first was the front, and man hope brakes are good! the bike did about 3 flips off the curb as I was thrown over the bars under a moving bus, all with colleagues on it. They said to me In the hospital it looked spectacular. Fractured bones and a snapped left arm. Yay

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Sounds nasty man.

I'd say mines worse though.

It was a wonderful Fritag evening in the month of July, 2013 and I was returning from work (I work with dinosaurs so it was quite a hectic day as you can imagine) one day at very high speed, on the pavement. (the road is normally full of lava so I couldn't go on it) I approached a fiveway crossing at incredibly high speed this time, all lights red with a bit of purple. About 1 metres away from the edge of the curb (where the molten lava is), they turned green- and they must've been red (purple) for a while as all the cars shot off liked stabbed rats that'd just been poked in their bastarding bumall! I immediately Realised (not sure why I capitalised that, dinosaur work is stressful) that if I continued I would be run over then shot then run over again, and instinctively jammed on the brakes (I prefer strawberry but sometimes raspberry is ok). Being left handed, the brake that stopped first was the rear, and man maguras are freaking incredible did you know they use them on tanks nowadays! the bike did about 26 flips off the curb as I was thrown over the bars under a moving dinosaur and a massive peach, all with strawberries on it. They said to me In the hospital it looked distinctly average. bruised my left toe. Yay

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Worst crash I had on the road was in the howling rain, I was racing to get home on my dirt jump bike, turned in hard into my road and the front washed out, and I slid across the road and hit the curb. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts and got pretty cut up, and I took a huge chunk of flesh out of my knee, and it got infected.

Worst crash I had off road was at Chicksands on the 4 cross track. I jumped a big jump, overshot it and landed on the berm (with the bike vertical) slid straight off and round the berm on my side. Was wearing shorts and a vest this time so lost quite a lot of skin haha.

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I've only ever really had crashes on the roads. Worst one must have been when I was around 11 and I was coming home from a mates house, which was on round the corner from mine, in the pissing rain and my foot slipped off my shitty plastic pedals and I cased it onto the grass verge. I got up straight away and carried on home not thinking anything of it. Came in through my back gate where my dad popped his head out of the back door and looked and me and asked "what happed to your leg?" I looked down and noticed I had 4 big gashes on the top inner side of my right calve. They were pissing out blood so I went to hospital to get them stitched up and sanitised. What caused the gashes was the outer chainring on my crankset, just entering as easily as a knife cuts into butter. It had to be sanitised because the outer chainring had a lot of grease and rust on it which would have infected my leg quite badly.

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But in all seriousness this is probably my worst crash from a while back. If you know me you'll have probably seen this like 19 times. Watch my leg how it bends back. If you've got a lot of spare time you can actually pause it as the leg bends the other way haha good with sound on loud too

Trials Biking Landing Fail:

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Had one of those crashes where my in between the leg regions got slammed down towards my frame. It was very painful and I had been wearing very thin shorts so there was nothing to pad it. The crash itself wasn't had, so I'm afraid I'm not really answering the question but the aftermath terrified me. I went home straight away because I thought that was enough trials for that day. I got home and needed a poo, so I did a poo and as I got up to wipe there was blood in the toilet, quite a lot of it. I was pretty sure for a minute I had bowel cancer so started looking up bowel cancer on my phone until I remembered my earlier crash and upon closer inspection I had cut my gouch pretty bad. That's probably the biggest feeling of relief I've ever felt.

Yes, excrement is a prevailing theme in my life.

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Also.

When I did track racing, I was overtaking the entire pack on the outside, they started moving towards me. I had no where to go, I hit the fence (we're all doing 30odd) I flip off the bike and slide along the track and 30 riders had to swerve round me. I felt sorry for the lad who put his teeth through his lip...

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High sided a racing moped doing 60mph in 2004 and snapped my collarbone, and landed on my head. Had a bruise from the helmet around my forehead. That I could handle. March 18th last year I tried a static upto rear on a wall and shattered my heel, it was in 6 pieces. The bone is healed now, but I still get twinges form ligaments a year later. The single most painful thing I have ever experienced. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, apart from my old boss, because he's a wanker

Edited by bing
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Jake you stack it so often :P I love jack's commentaries. Little pedal tap there.

But in all seriousness this is probably my worst crash from a while back. If you know me you'll have probably seen this like 19 times. Watch my leg how it bends back. If you've got a lot of spare time you can actually pause it as the leg bends the other way haha good with sound on loud too

Trials Biking Landing Fail: vid

I miss when you uploaded vids like every week, good times. Did you break anything on the bail?

I guess i've never stacked it too bad, hurt my wrist pretty bad once when I was a major newb trying to side-drop off a wall about bar height. couldn't ride for like a week but never went to doctors or nothing...

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Was on my jump bike cycling back from the gym, fancied a McDonalds (Dirty bulk ;) ) was bombing along and my mate cut infront too close, my front wheel got jammed on some sort of bike part. Not sure what, but went flying over the bars and stopped on my face. Broke my wrist and had seven stitches in my chin lol

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i stood on a nail once. wasnt on my bike but it was when i was going for some alan keys to fix my bike, does this count?

Did you return the allen keys when you couldn't figure out how to use them and demand that your mate pay for the repair? Then when he said "no that's completely ridiculous", did you start a dispute thread about the whole thing?
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Did you return the allen keys when you couldn't figure out how to use them and demand that your mate pay for the repair? Then when he said "no that's completely ridiculous", did you start a dispute thread about the whole thing?

the joke is kind of getting old now

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Dead sailored the jump box at epic skatepark ( now creation?) in brum, landed in a tangle with the bike. Right leg wouldn't work when I tried to kick it away so used my left, cue a sudden sucking/pulling feeling from the top of my right thigh and a string of flesh hanging from the right hand grip.

The bars had hit me in the groin, just on the crease between thigh and pelvis, shattered the plastic bar plug on impact and apple cored a 22mm hole out of my groin. The grip was rolled back 3" giving an indication of the depth, I still have the grips on my bmx and the right one is now split where it was pushed in.

I lost about 3 pints of blood before the paramedics got there but fortunately managed to stop most of the bleeding. At A&E it took 5 stitches to close the cored out hole and another 4 to seal the wound. Whilst stitching it up they could see the femoral artery in the bottom of the hole :(

Overnight stay in hospital, a week of antibiotics and codeine and I could just about walk again, luckily I had only punched a hole through the curtain of muscle between two of the tendons. I suffered from minor nerve damage which manifested in the feeling of my inside thigh being sandpapered for 18+ months.

This is the reason I tell anyone without bar plugs to stop being a penis and get some fitted!

Edited by forteh
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