bikeperson45 Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 f**k off.... Frankly I think it's disgusting not to And this is an important topic, something very specific to the human condition though I get why it was locked at first... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) I seem to be a combination wiper, an initial lean and wipe, then stand and polish. The other question that perhaps should be asked is how much paper? Fold or scrunch? Do you have a paper preference? Thick and expensive so you don't need to use so much or cheap and thin so you have to use loads or suffer poo finger? I design sewage treatment equipment, I've seen more shit than most people Edited May 30, 2014 by forteh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*gentlydoesit Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 (edited) You've seen a lot of excrement.. I've seen enough shit for two lifetimes Edited May 30, 2014 by *gentlydoesit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Used baby wipes instead of toilet roll the other day. Was such a treat! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 You've seen a lot of excrement.. I've seen enough shit for two lifetimes I dunno, seafield stw in Edinburgh has 8 primary settlement tanks that each hold 19.2 million gallons, the tanks have 4 hour retention so almost 11000 gallons a second of raw sewage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartMini Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I dunno, seafield stw in Edinburgh has 8 primary settlement tanks that each hold 19.2 million gallons, the tanks have 4 hour retention so almost 11000 gallons a second of raw sewage and yet still less shit then this thread 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 I dunno, seafield stw in Edinburgh has 8 primary settlement tanks that each hold 19.2 million gallons, the tanks have 4 hour retention so almost 11000 gallons a second of raw sewage Its like you're bragging about poo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Someone else's shit but it's my bread and butter! Minworth STW is even bigger, that treats the entire of birmingham though so a lot of shit there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Yeah well my dads bigger than yours 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 I'm the 180 guy too. It saves the potential of getting shitty paper on the seat or whatever. Can't believe I'm discussing turds on a bike forum. I'd rather it be on the seat than on the floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CurtisRider Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 Someone else's shit but it's my bread and butter! Remind me to never eat at yours Ed, that hot chocolate was a bit funny. Standing up is the way to go, I've tried sitting down and it's more of a faff. My gf walked in on me wiping when we were on holiday, she thought it was the weirdest thing ever and proceeded to ask all our friends what they did (they all sat) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 Stand up and 180 for the win. By the way, has anyone ever tried shitting Muslim style where they squat so cheeks don't touch the seat. You have to kinda stand on the seat and squat over the opening. I tried it at work, it's a hard as f**k and you don't have a great deal of control. It's particularly difficult after a vicious curry and a few lagers, as there needs to be a certain firmness for it to go down the pan. Luckily I just got away with it. Not something I'd try again though. One does wonder though now and again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
isitafox Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 Stand up and 180 then kind of bend to the side, you need to see what you've accomplished for a start. It's a bit like blowing your nose then looking in the tissue! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bing Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 I feel the need that this chart should now make an appearance, for 'rate your log' purposes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 3 or 4 most of the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 I'd rather it be on the seat than on the floor. Why would it be on the floor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 Why would it be on the floor? if you drop the bogroll it lands on the floor not in the water/seat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted May 31, 2014 Report Share Posted May 31, 2014 I wasn't talking about dropping it though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eskimo Posted June 1, 2014 Report Share Posted June 1, 2014 I thought anything but number 4 was wrong. If my poo isn't smooth and brown i feel disappointed with myself. 3 just isn't acceptable. I had a foot long 4 today, had to empty a bucket of water down there to get rid of him. Shitty toilet can't handle itself. I can't even believe i typed that. Minworth STW is even bigger, that treats the entire of birmingham though so a lot of shit there More like curry? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolfa Posted June 1, 2014 Report Share Posted June 1, 2014 This came up with a group of mates a couple of years ago, most of them are standers, I just can't comprehend how that could ever be practical. I've given it a go since but I end up basically standing up hunched over in a seated position to be able to get at the job sufficiently, so why bother standing?! f**king wronguns! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JT! Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Why would it be on the floor? I think that you think doing the sitting lean wipe would result in shitty paper on the seat? If so, no it wouldn't, personally all my wiping is done below the level of the seat, maybe even blow the top of the bowl. Sometimes the back of my hand can hit the toilet water (rarely, but the USA is known for it's high toilet water level). If you stand up and turn 180, what happens if a stray piece of poo gets away from the paper? Or is that not an issue? I can't get over how there's such a difference in opinion on how to wipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross McArthur Posted June 2, 2014 Report Share Posted June 2, 2014 Standing up to wipe is the worst thing I could imagine. In the event of no toilet roll being left on the holder, I still wouldn’t even think about standing up straight. It would be a squatted crab like strut to the nearest available toilet roll storage facility then the same again backwards. Any of you using baby wipes, as much as its cool and feels nice and gets a good shine on your ring, you're going to end up with a blocked toilet. They don’t degrade the same way bog roll does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dann2707 Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Who said anything about flushing them? Just put them back in the packet 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 (edited) Do you know what happens to baby wipes and sanitary products? It all gets flushed down the sewers to the sewage works where it all gets picked out by screens and compressed into screenings cake. Cake is then burnt to provide power for said sewage works, flush away, it all ends up burnt Edited June 6, 2014 by forteh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LukasMcNeal Posted June 6, 2014 Report Share Posted June 6, 2014 Blocks loadsa stuff up on the way though! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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