Dealing with Depression

[Anon13425636453]

You're going to get sick of topics like this, but this is something that I really need some help on.

And given you weren't all wankers to the guy that made the "thoughts on self-harm" topic It's given me some confidence to talk about it to someone.
I've found the rest of the internet to not have much help and before going to a GP about it I'd prefer to get some help off you here. Plus (and this is going to sound terrible) but I don't actually feel comfortable enough to talk about this to my parents :/

So for the past few years I've felt down, and we all feel down from time to time so I've just dismissed it all the time :/ But it's not until the past 5 months or so I've found it getting much worse up to the point of having regular suicidal thoughts.

I've got no motivation to do anything, my college work has got worse simply because I've just done none of it, I've been threatened to be taken off every course which just keeps making me feel worse. I've even lost motivation in my riding, I've found when I get asked on rides I'm always coming up with excuses as why not to go,
Don't get me wrong, I still go on rides, and I still love riding, but when I'm not riding, although spending an unhealthy amount of time on trials-forum, I'm not eager to get out again :/ Which isn't as it used to be since I had sleepless nights excited about rides before :/

I've been a dick to all my friends, lost some friends because of it.

Recently things have been looking up for me (had some incredible news) but it hasn't made me feel better, I was happy for a brief moment but just went back to my room and cried for no reason :/

Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with it? Before having to talk to my parents about it :/

And if anyone has guessed who I am please don't say anything negative or mention my name :/
I'm just glad there's a place like this I can come to for issues other than "trials" issues

[Joshua92]

Sleep pattern can make up the 35% of clinical depression, it can take years to develop and a long time to get rid off. A few things to bare in mind are energy drinks have a big come down when over used, sleep, herbal tea to sleep can calm bad dreams and sleepless nights don't use tablets your body will become dependent on them, smoking helps calm down if made nervous easily.

Most parents are not good to talk to because they have a habit of not taking things seriously especially when they do not see a reason for this to be going on. But you will know if your parents will understand, i don't want to make up your mind for you but just making a problem that could happen visible.

Finding out the problem is your main priority! It will be hard and it could be many things but try those simple things like sorting out sleep pattern, tea, smoking, good food, DON'T live in a messy room even if just the room you sleep in is tidy it helps relax the mind. All these little things can help a lot in seeing your main problems.

[Anon13425636453]

Sleep pattern can make up the 35% of clinical depression, it can take years to develop and a long time to get rid off. A few things to bare in mind are energy drinks have a big come down when over used, sleep, herbal tea to sleep can calm bad dreams and sleepless nights don't use tablets your body will become dependent on them, smoking helps calm down if made nervous easily.

Most parents are not good to talk to because they have a habit of not taking things seriously especially when they do not see a reason for this to be going on. But you will know if your parents will understand, i don't want to make up your mind for you but just making a problem that could happen visible.

Finding out the problem is your main priority! It will be hard and it could be many things but try those simple things like sorting out sleep pattern, tea, smoking, good food, DON'T live in a messy room even if just the room you sleep in is tidy it helps relax the mind. All these little things can help a lot in seeing your main problems.

Cheers for the reply,

Well my sleeping pattern is f*cked up...

And the homeless live in better conditions than my room... I'll get them sorted asap, thanks again for the reply.

[dann2707]

I went through a shocking stage at Sheffield and I felt like my life was pretty much pointless but all because I fell into a hideous sleeping routine. I'd go to bed at around 4 every night and wake up at around 2 missing lectures. Proper got me down and ended up being a recluse with a uni mate.Sucked hard. II'd say get a decent routine first and things will start to look up.

[Pete.M]

Traditional education like college isn't for everyone, perhaps you'd some find motivation in an apprenticeship?

[Anon13425636453]

Traditional education like college isn't for everyone, perhaps you'd some find motivation in an apprenticeship?

That's the good news I had, got in at the college just need a company.

I got told in my interview I have exceptional English skills and scored one of the highest this year in the aptitude test, so companies will be wanting me rather me begging for a placement.

But if i f8ck up my A-levels/ drop out my dad will flip on me...

He got a letter from my college about my work and my bike was locked up because of it if I get kicked off every course he'll probably take an angle grinder to it.. He's not the most understanding of people and ends up flipping before i can give him an explanation

Anyway, this is the last post from me, new member restrictions and all..

[Skoze]

All about environment. Most days, i've got a niggle at the back of my mind trying to bring down or just straight up put me out of action but for the most part i'm in a pretty decent place with some quality mates who know how to keep me happy. It wins sometimes and i've had runs of a good few weeks of just not having the motivation to get out of the house. I wouldn't say i'm ever really depressed or anything though, just set to melancholy by default after the past couple of years i guess.

My girlfriend's had full bore depression a few times though, and as far as i can gather from her and other people who've had it, it really can be as simple as waking up in the morning and feeling like a completely different person but then in the same stroke it can go just as quickly. You'll come out of it, just try and monitor it. If it's all getting a bit much, talk to someone you trust. Even just knowing people are there for you could probably help.

Eat well, sleep well, clean your room up and get yourself out the house. You'll get there in the end dude.

[trialskidy]

I am 16 and I sufferd 2 years with depression due to anxiety I was pretty much in my house the whole time felt like there was nothing to enjoy in life and nothing to look forward to, what helped me overcome depression was just me getting off my ass and doing things, doing things can just take your mind of the depression and the feeling of worthlessness.

[Blake]

Skoze got it right.

[Dave Anscombe]

Nature and meditation-Helps me -

But its not every ones cup of tea!

Hope you feel better soon

[ooo]

Like these guys are saying sleep and environment affect depression. But its more than that it tends to be some root cause or causes, that may or may not be relevant anymore. These root causes start to change things in your life, how you eat, sleep, exercise and interact in relationships with other people etc... as all these things get worse they start a cycle where you feel worse and worse. These things make the depression 'bigger' and people feel less able to cope.

Firstly if you think there is a root issue, find someway to get help with an aim to accept it or overcome it, and appreciate that it may take time and be hard work. But, also don't expect too much from any healthcare worker you might get.

Secondly your ability to cope with the root cause can be increased by making the effect of the depression smaller. As humans we are naturally habit forming creatures for good or bad, people get stuck in cycles. The trick is to do some small things every day to initiate change, try making small changes in different areas in your life. They have to be small to keep it up everyday.

So, in your relationships try and do something for someone else each day, from a compliment to asking 'how are you?' and just listening. Thinking about others really helps with the self pity.

Try keeping something tidy like an area in your house or yourself. (depressed men often stop shaving as much etc..)

Do a small bit of exercises, just some situps or push ups or a jog.

Be grateful for something, can be just thinking 'I'm glad that I have somewhere to live' and be positive. You have everything you need to be happy inside you.

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

[hI-OOPS-CAPS]

And if anyone has guessed who I am please don't say anything negative or mention my name :/

It would seem you are afraid of sadness. It's easier to accept it than to fight it. Spend time with your family too. If you go somewhere and they ask you about it then tell a story to them. But telling your parents isn't too good as they would worry about you. Maybe a nonjudgemental friend would be better

[Greetings]

Yeah, I'd leave parents as the last option when everything else fails. I guess it all depends on what your parents are like, but having someone worrying about you, constantly intruding to make sure you're all right can cause additional stress. Personally I was never a fan of talking things through with my parents for that very reason, even though I know they can be trusted.

Apart from what Skoze already mentioned, I think you need to talk to someone who you respect and isn't scared of judging your decisions - on the contrary to the above post. I sometimes have friends come over to talk to me about their problems and strangely, they appreciate how harsh I can be sometimes since they feel such a discussion is a lot more productive than hearing "everything will be all right" or "don't worry". On the other hand, you need the appropriate attitude to have such a discussion, if you're fragile then I'd probably avoid it. But you still need a good listener and a constructive one.

Perhaps the improving weather can help you back on your feet? Think of all the things you can do now, that you couldn't when there was snow around and just do them.

[Anon13425636453]

Thankyou so much for the replies guys, I really appreciate your help.

[Dave Anscombe]

Just get better man .Thats what we want

[hI-OOPS-CAPS]

Just get better man .Thats what we want

Out of curiousity what meditation do you do Dave?

[JD™]

Out of curiousity what meditation do you do Dave?

I believe it's the kind you self roll, right Dave?

I couldn't help it, sorry!

[Dave Anscombe]

Out of curiousity what meditation do you do Dave?

It all really depends on the day and my mood and what i want to achieve -but i mainly focus on Vipassana' 'transcendental 'zazen' any my fave has to be kundalini

I believe it's the kind you self roll, right Dave?

I couldn't help it, sorry!

Of course-One of the best medications known to man -How ever i cannot smoke it like i once used to !

Dont be sorry we all like a good laugh

Edited April 16, 2013 by Dave Anscombe

[Anon13425636453]

Cheers for all these responses guys.
I've cleaned my room and started talking to my best mate about it, cheered me up but I'm still having these thoughts on a night.
Sleeping pattern is difficult to get out of,
I've been going to bed much earlier but still not able to get to sleep until early hours :/

I tend to feel a little better now when I know there's someone to talk to, but the night's are still really bad

[TrialsRob]

Not sure if anyone has mentioned it, but consult a doctor.

Ok say they may offer you pills, or counselling which I imagine you don't want, and you don't have to accept them. But more importantly there is a slim chance they can identify a medical reason for your depression. I saw a doctor recently and found out I needed way more vitamin D, if you ask your doctor to look for a medical cause for your depression they may find something similar, and if they don't who cares it costs nothing.

I find forcing myself to get up early helps me a lot with my motivation to work, if I get up late I usually end up f**king about all day. I also find there is an optimum way for me to structure my day to get the most studying out of it. Taking regular breaks, say after every 25mins of studying to do something else for 15mins helps me get both tonnes of studying and housework/bikerepair/masturbating in.

EDIT; on sleep patterns you will find that in most people its what time you wake up that will determine what time you will be able to sleep at, to point it another way, if you require 8 hours sleep every night you will struggle to sleep in the evening if you have only been awake 12hrs, and may be lying in bed for another 4 hrs before you will sleep. The upshot being, you need force yourself out of bed even if you have barely slept if you want to change your sleep pattern

Edited April 21, 2013 by TrialsRob

[hI-OOPS-CAPS]

And go to 6:50mins in. It's about someone who picks up a stick and says 'that's heavy.' So he threw it on the ground and said 'it's not heavy any more...' The speaker makes clear something is only heavy if you carry it around with you. Quite a fine example really, if you can let go of feelings etc then you don't need to carry them around with you

[HippY]

I wanted to make a reply how I managed, but i did not.

Maybe it is not (just) sleeping. not for me anyway.

Is there anything what makes you sad? The first thing what made you depressed? The root cause ?( i read it somewhere in these lines)

Find the cause and sort it out. It will not be easy ( I know that, so far I have no idea what I will do) but it will work.

For me a girl caused all this depression (plus my parents divorce, but I am done with that by now). I felt (still feeling actually) that I am not good enough, or at any level to her. Actually there was a time when I could be with her, but I could not see that back then. Since I remember that days, it still makes me sad. Luckily I injured pretty seriously on that holiday on ski, and it remind me day by day. I have never been that guy who had loads of girlfriend, maybe because of that. But I had a serious relationship, and I moved away. when I was with her I was happy. And since I broke up with her, this feeling came back and I started to dream about her. So as you see, the best would be to sort this cause.

Secondly, Make an aim. The reason why I was not depressed because I wanted to move to a different country. It made me to learn and to plan forward. It helped me a lot

ohh, and be with your friends. The last thing what you need is to be alone, Believe me, it is one of the worth thing that can happen to you.

[HippY]

IIII know, that old thread bumping is a sin, but I need your help now

my sleeping pattern is good, finally find a part time job, I have more than enough money, I can save, college goes extremely well, made some friends over there...

but I still feel extremely lonely. I dont know what to do, I feel like my depression getting worse and worse day by day.

any more help? anything that might help?

[pjl1984]

The problem with dealing with depression is it can be a very personal thing. Some people manage and you may never even know that they had or have a problem and the pressure of everyday life can sometimes make things worse. However it seems your everyday life is ok but you feel lonely and that is possibly the cause for you or maybe there is something else deeper that you need to deal with. I suffered from a young age with anxiety issues and still at times feel it creeping back in but i have a lot of my own coping mechanisms that i have built up over time and unfortunatly that may be something that takes you some time to find. I am no expert and never will be but i have found that some things work and others make things worse it all really depends on you and how you deal with things in your life.

[persistant_itch]

Another very very important factor to consider is that there is 2 types of depression, well 2 major classes,

causative or reactive: where you're becoming emotionally depressed due to some event, or feeling

and chemical depression: low production of serotonin causes low mood, anxiety etc.

these 2 have to be tackled very differently, the causative should normally be tackled by talking therapies, or positive thinking exercises

or the one solution, go to the gp or a local centre to talk to a counsellor, you'd be surprised how much it helps if you really embrace it

and the chemical is not as simple,because for most people with chemical depression talking doesn't help, medication does though, so that's worth maybe a visit to the gp to see if you can establish the cause of these feelings