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The Happy Thread


Duncy H

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Hilarious.

I work with somebody I absolutely hate, he has a history of sexual harassment in the work place. I dislike him intensely.

This customer I've been hanging out with was interviewed for a job the other day, and whilst she was there he asked her if 'we're together' apparently the reply was 'no of cause not, what are you going on about?'

Well, since then he's been texting her all the time. She's told me about it and said that it's a bit weird, but whatever he's just being friendly assuming she's probably going to get the job. She really isn't now.

So on Wednesday she text me saying 'OMFG, something absolutely retarded has just happened. Call me when you're free.'

I didn't call her, I CBA with any hassle and bollocks and to be honest I'm not really that interested in her life.

About four hours later I get a screenshot time stamped for the time she told me to call her.

Basically a text from the guy I work with straight up saying 'so if you're not with him then how about we f**k some time?' accompanied by a snapchat of his dick. In the works toilets judging by the tiles.

Ummmm?!

So I act cool, like I know nothing.

Later in the afternoon he's sat at my desk and his phone goes, he shows me the screen and says 'ooh look who it is'.

Like I give a f**k.

Then he sits there going 'oh hey honey, how are you doing darling? how's your day? what are you doing tonight babe?'

And I'm like...'WTF? I don't give a f**k, this is clearly a personal phone call so take it the f**k outside.'

Thursday she asked me if I wanted to go out for a Chinese on Friday night to than me for taking her out this weekend I say 'yeah fair enough, has the nobhead at work stopped hassling you? I heard you on the phone to him the other day, so I assume that's all sweet now?'

Then she tells me that he prank called her 10+ times in a row before she phoned him back.

He was clearly trying to set it up so she rang him whilst he was sat at my desk.

Again, like I give a f**k?

I get into work this morning and find out that he's told the entire dealership that I'm gay? (I'm not) and that's why we aren't together. And that I told her that on Monday night, and that's why I didn't f**k her when she came round to get all the stuff she left in my bag from the weekend.

So I phone her, and ask her if she said it. Obviously she didn't.

So I have it out with him, it gets back to the area manager.

Area manager rings me up and asks WTF's going on, and what all this is about. So I basically told him not to worry, he was just joking and that it was all dealt with and he didn't need to worry.

Area manager tells him to back the f**k off, stop being a total bellend and to wind his neck in. He tells me to make sure I keep her sweet and give her no reason to make a complaint towards the company, which I obviously won't.

Later on this afternoon, I get a phone call from her. 'He won't stop f**king phoning me. Im going into the shop to get a new sim card, if he doesn't stop f**king ringing me I'm phoning your HR department. This is f**king stupid, I don't want to be f**king a married 40 year old paki with three kids. WTF is he on?'

'I'll sort it.'

So I phoned the area manager and I told him 'I f**ked a customer, became mates with her, he got jealous, basically stalked her and has been harassing her ever since. I think she's pretty pissed off about it all, but she's totally cool with me. Not my fault and not my problem, I can f**k whoever I want. The problem has come that he's now jealous and has been on self destruct mode for the last week.'

Area manager said 'f**king hell mate, what a mess. You're not in the shit, unless she complains about you too. I'll sort him out, you look after her and make sure she knows it's being dealt with before HR hear about this shit.'

f**k knows what's going to happen now, he'll probably get fired because he's already been moved from two dealerships for similar shit.

Fully hilarious though, I've been waiting for something to bite him on the arse for absolutely ages.

On the plus side, I'm going to have a Chinese and get laid tonight.

On the down side, I'll probably not be doing her again for a while until this cluster f**k at work has been dealt with.

Lols.

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£4.5k! Now see that's the kind of payrise worth getting!

Yeah I know, crazy!

When I went for the job I was moving from a poor area, down to Bristol. I hadn't quite figured out the pay differences and I was desperate to get the job as we'd committed to move already, so in the interview when I was asked what I wanted I went in WAY too low.

So today the MD asked me what I'm on now, so I told him and his response was "Bloody hell, is that all??" - an hour later I had a letter from the FD with my new salary on. Very tasty increase.

The MD admitted that I was getting the payrise because lots of good people were leaving and he didn't want me to follow suit. Probably helps that I've landed two long term contracts lately that people have been trying to win for about four years.

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I woke up, and randomly asked myself what i am gratefull for. After 10 minutes of listing them i realised that ii have an anazing life!

woke up happy, finished an assignment for school, put the bike into the Ferrari and now i am on a train with the Neon, i will bed in the freewheels in the sunshine! I cannot express how amazing this feels, that i officially survived winter!

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Started a project to resurrect a very big trials website I bought 2 years ago. This should keep me occupied non stop for a good week if not more, really looking forwards to it. Steep learning curve as I know absolutely nothing about CMS but pretty sure I can cope. Happy times :D

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I don't want to be f**king a married 40 year old paki with three kids. WTF is he on?'

Some good old fashioned not-so-casual casual racism, always good to see ;)

Speaking of people going travelling, New Zealand has been f**king incredible. Not in an "I'm enlightened" way, but just in a "Ways I thought the UK was shit have turned out to be correct" way. Not to mention all the incredible scenery here, really friendly people, amazing mountain biking, fun trials setups, etc...

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Outside of being at work I don't have much time to myself anymore, I've always been able to entertain myself and quite enjoy my own company most of the time. Since taking on a business and getting wrapped up in that, had a whole load of family stuff recently I've had no time at all really to just chill out and think.

This is the 3rd night in a row I've not gone to bed at around 10, I've just sat playing guitar, GTA5 or just googling shit and I'm really enjoying it. Weird thing is I feel more awake during the day and sleep solider too.

It's good to chill out sometimes..

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I'm the same Tom, rarely I'm in bed before 12:30, wake up at 7 and if I get much more than 6-7 hours sleep it stops me functioning properly; just sort of zombiefied and not with it completely. Not needing masses of sleep is going to help when the baby is born in a months time :D

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Apparently i'm going to warsaw for a wweekend with a few mates at the end of the month. This makes me happy as i havent left the country for 11 years!

Ben

Are you looking for anything specific there? I don't know much about Warsaw but there's a few places I could recommend depending on what you're looking for.

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Started a project to resurrect a very big trials website I bought 2 years ago. This should keep me occupied non stop for a good week if not more, really looking forwards to it. Steep learning curve as I know absolutely nothing about CMS but pretty sure I can cope. Happy times :D

Was it selectbikes? What ever happened to that?

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Was it selectbikes? What ever happened to that?

Nah, you've either got me confused with someone else or more likely associate me with that shop for some reason :)

On the subject of Selectbikes, what was that Ko-Bikes store called which people weren't too happy with?

Happy because I'm motivated to ride trials again and work out. I've also ordered myself a black Cannibal frame instead of the silver one which looks completely out of place on my bike and got some white riding trousers, just like old times. Weather looking good too.

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