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The Happy Thread


Duncy H

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Thought that was you til I read what you said hahah!

I sleep happy tonight, my new nickname is "Dough Lord" and I've been called a "Pizza God" and I quote "I've never met anyone who knows as much about pizza as you, it's amazing".

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I've had 3 job offers in 10 minutes and a lot of interest from a dealer who imports from the states, he's local too! So stoked it's unreal.

Spent this afternoon discussing work at the dealers house listening to a Rockola Regis stereo drinking peroni, couldn't gave home any f**king better! He's bringing me 2 jukes next week!

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My interview went well, they want to make sure I'll be happy there and that it's the job for me, so they've asked me to come in for a few hours next week...

I mentioned where I wanted to be in 5 years and he liked that - he passed me a coaster and said "Sell me that". I did alright there and got a laugh too :D

I'll be going in with critical eyes, grass isn't always greener so I need to make sure it's actually right for me and not just a 2k payrise but a shit role.

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"You see that cup of tea in your hand? Well a lot of office furniture suppliers would try to sell you an expensive surface protection system with their furniture to protect from the liquid stains which harm the resale value if your furniture and tarnish the professional appearance of your establishment.

These protective coatings usually cost hundreds on pounds and fade over years of usage.

For just £1.99 and a bit of common sense I can offer you a product which will protect your furniture for a lifetime with no maintenance or reapplication.

If a desk has a serviceable life of 10 years my solution costs less than a tenth of a penny per day.

I also offer bulk packs for 25 or more units,

So how many shall I order for you? 1 or 25?

*let silence sell for you.*"

Edited by Pashley26
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"You see that cup of tea in your hand? Well a lot of office furniture suppliers would try to sell you an expensive surface protection system with their furniture to protect from the liquid stains which harm the resale value if your furniture and tarnish the professional appearance of your establishment.

These protective coatings usually cost hundreds on pounds and fade over years of usage.

For just £1.99 and a bit of common sense I can offer you a product which will protect your furniture for a lifetime with no maintenance or reapplication.

If a desk has a serviceable life of 10 years my solution costs less than a tenth of a penny per day.

I also offer bulk packs for 25 or more units,

So how many shall I order for you? 1 or 25?

*let silence sell for you.*"

That's awful. I'd tell you to go away as I couldn't concentrate on the pitch on account of the off-putting stench of bullshit in the office. I find it abhorrent when "salesmen/women" use this type of approach with you and expect a positive outcome. If the patronising isn't bad enough, it's the arrogance that they think you haven't heard this approach 1000 times before, and expect anyone to be taken in by it. Show me the product, quickly tell me why it's good (without putting down the competition - that always pisses me off. Nearly every non-iPhone mobile ad references an iPhone…it's embarrassing and reflects poorly on you) and how much it costs. Don't bullshit.

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My approach was something along the lines of:

It can be manufactured out of almost any material, carbon fibre if weight is an issue, stainless steel to prevent corrosion or more cost effective materials if cost saving is an issue. How quickly would you need your first delivery?

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That's awful. I'd tell you to go away as I couldn't concentrate on the pitch on account of the off-putting stench of bullshit in the office. I find it abhorrent when "salesmen/women" use this type of approach with you and expect a positive outcome. If the patronising isn't bad enough, it's the arrogance that they think you haven't heard this approach 1000 times before, and expect anyone to be taken in by it. Show me the product, quickly tell me why it's good (without putting down the competition - that always pisses me off. Nearly every non-iPhone mobile ad references an iPhoneit's embarrassing and reflects poorly on you) and how much it costs. Don't bullshit.

I'm not sure if you are aware of what I do for a living? Haha.

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I didn't realise people thought I would actually say that.

It was SUPPOSED to be smarmy sales bollocks...

At first I thought it could have been a joke but the *let the silence sell for you* seemed like personal advice…. to which I wouldn't be very receptive. On the plus side you surmised 'smarmy sales bollocks' perfectly!

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*whispers under breath "plus a £5000 deposit plus an optional £5000 final payment bearing in mind you never own the car and if you want to give it back at the end of the agreement you better be damn sure you haven't gone over the allowed miles, had any unauthorised or non dealer work carried out on it or sneezed in it" * :P

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Silence definitely works, but only generally because it stops a sales person from carrying on and never getting to a point of allowing someone to make a decision.

I hate the two option assumptive close stuff though Jardo. I believe that my job when 'selling' something is to offer the best option for the potential buyer – as such there should only be one, and the only question should be "are we going ahead or not?"

Treating people like people seems to work for me, and I know the 'salesman in a box' stuff works for you, so I'm not really sure where I'm going with this...

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