MadManMike Posted February 15, 2022 Report Share Posted February 15, 2022 32 minutes ago, forteh said: Gotta work on the dad bod now Congrats again! Believe me, I already have that. I've been on a lower carb diet since Jan, trying to shift it! Cheers dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 16 hours ago, MadManMike said: 21st of August. Roughly. It always made me smile when people say its the most rewarding but hardest thing you'll ever do. These people weren't lying. Congrats on sex though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 59 minutes ago, Tom Booth said: It always made me smile when people say its the most rewarding but hardest thing you'll ever do. These people weren't lying. Congrats on sex though! Thanks, it's been 11 years of sex, only now it's resulted in this. I'm fully aware of how difficult it's going to be, I have a few friends with kids under 3 and it seems like a nightmare - why we voluntarily sign up for it I'm not sure... I'm already a night owl though, so that aspect shouldn't be too difficult for me at least Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 24 minutes ago, MadManMike said: Thanks, it's been 11 years of sex, only now it's resulted in this. That's some impressive stamina Mike, no wonder you were so knackered on the brecon beast! oh right, I see, not 11 years constant.... Four bits of advice - home/water birth, attachment parenting, baby wearing and cloth nappies Oh and weleda calendula nappy cream, that shit is the bomb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 1 hour ago, MadManMike said: Thanks, it's been 11 years of sex, only now it's resulted in this. I'm fully aware of how difficult it's going to be, I have a few friends with kids under 3 and it seems like a nightmare - why we voluntarily sign up for it I'm not sure... I'm already a night owl though, so that aspect shouldn't be too difficult for me at least to be honest I think (and solely speaking from my experience, Ray's nearly 6 months old now...) The hardest thing as a man is accepting the changes in your freedom. To me I really struggled with the can't just nip here, can't just do that or go out when you want. It changes fast though, I know all babies are different but Ray went quickly from 7/8 bottles a day to 5, then to 4 and a top up before bed, so what was a window of about an hour to do anything soon became 2, which soon became 3. Now hes 5.5 months old now and has awake times of about 2/3 hours at a time so plenty of tike to play and engage, or even nip to mates with him etc. Its mega though, the second baby's smiling any kind of resentment or struggles you had just dissappear totally. Strap in though, it's a hell of a roller coaster While you in the expecting stage, ask your midwife what's available loooooads. Prenatal classes etc. We fell pregnant December 2020, so mid winter pandemic time and loads of stuff wasn't offered to us. We changed midwife at about 8 months and she told us loads that we'd missed out on. First child so we didn't know to ask, but at the same time first midwife didn't let us know what was still available. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muel Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 19 hours ago, MadManMike said: 21st of August. Roughly. Congrats! Good choice of day, also my birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuel Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 My one bit of advice (only thing I would change) is having family close by. The lack of any time off in the first few years without any hope of a regular bit o babysitting is hard. Bedtime is 7:30, and has been for some time, and not being able to go out after this (together) is tough. It’s quite isolating, as that’s basically when people socialise. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 1 hour ago, Tom Booth said: to be honest I think (and solely speaking from my experience, Ray's nearly 6 months old now...) The hardest thing as a man is accepting the changes in your freedom. To me I really struggled with the can't just nip here, can't just do that or go out when you want. It changes fast though, I know all babies are different but Ray went quickly from 7/8 bottles a day to 5, then to 4 and a top up before bed, so what was a window of about an hour to do anything soon became 2, which soon became 3. Now hes 5.5 months old now and has awake times of about 2/3 hours at a time so plenty of tike to play and engage, or even nip to mates with him etc. Its mega though, the second baby's smiling any kind of resentment or struggles you had just dissappear totally. Strap in though, it's a hell of a roller coaster While you in the expecting stage, ask your midwife what's available loooooads. Prenatal classes etc. We fell pregnant December 2020, so mid winter pandemic time and loads of stuff wasn't offered to us. We changed midwife at about 8 months and she told us loads that we'd missed out on. First child so we didn't know to ask, but at the same time first midwife didn't let us know what was still available. Yeah Sheryl is already on the case with booking classes and stuff. I'm gonna be doing a tonne of Googling too, as I'd say I know less about this than the average bloke! I've already gathered that in the first couple of years I'm not going to have much free time - that will be the hardest thing, as you said. At the moment our relationship is pretty free, she's not at all clingy so I do get a lot of time to myself. That will definitely be the biggest change. That said, most of her family are in the local-ish area, so there will be plenty of times she'll go and see them (With three step sisters and one sister, there's no shortage of babysitters!) 1 hour ago, Muel said: Congrats! Good choice of day, also my birthday. Highly unlikely it'll land on that exact day, but you never know 3 minutes ago, manuel said: My one bit of advice (only thing I would change) is having family close by. The lack of any time off in the first few years without any hope of a regular bit o babysitting is hard. Bedtime is 7:30, and has been for some time, and not being able to go out after this (together) is tough. It’s quite isolating, as that’s basically when people socialise. As I said to Tom, most of her family are down this way. It's the main reason I ended up leaving Hastings and heading west, she wanted to be closer to everyone - it'll definitely be a benefit for us as they're very family orientated so will be happy to help out. My family, well, not so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 2 hours ago, forteh said: That's some impressive stamina Mike, no wonder you were so knackered on the brecon beast! oh right, I see, not 11 years constant.... Four bits of advice - home/water birth, attachment parenting, baby wearing and cloth nappies Oh and weleda calendula nappy cream, that shit is the bomb What makes you suggest home / water birth? Our friend in the village has a cloth nappy renting thing she does so we'll most likely be tapping her up for some. I'll need to research attachment parenting (And pretty much every other aspect of parenting lol), I've not heard of that before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 Water birth ***, Ray was water birth, whole thing was done and dusted in 5 hours, we went in at 10pm Saturday and back home for 1pm the next day haha. The other thing (and it's ironic to say this) just do you, the whole time. Everyone's different, all babies are different and what works for someone else might not work for you. Our friends with kids are all full of advise that's given with good intention, bur really didnt work for us haha, we kinda just took the bits we liked and adopted itno our routines. It's something we struggled with at the start of it all and I'm not that easily lead, but its so overwhelming to begin with you're willing to listen to anything that'll get you back in bed at 2am 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeyseemonkeydo Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 It's amazing how many people make lives difficult for themselves. People were telling us that we should be actively waking the kids every three hours (or whatever) during the night for feeds but from day one we (well, Mel as she breast fed both of our boys for the first six months) would only get up if they cried and were actually hungry. I think both boys were sleeping through the night (like 11pm-6am say) after a week. Why you'd ever wake a sleeping baby is beyond me. Likewise we have a friend who has a 9 year old who still unplugs the phone, mutes the TV and puts their mobiles on silent until 9pm when the kid's well and truly asleep. The child's never slept in a different bed without her parents around either which will just be a nightmare when it comes to school residentials or trips etc. Our boys have slept everywhere from tents to hotels to airplanes to campervans since they were a few weeks old so we just don't have any issues with separation anxiety or being in a known bed etc. But yeah- whatever feels right for you...! Kids are wicked fun though, hard work sometimes but great fun. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 (edited) Water birth relieves a huge amount of weight off the mother so it's easier to get the oxytocin going. Oxytocin is the main birth hormone that the body uses to do the whole relaxing and pain relief bit, stress reduces it so the more comfortable you are the more oxytocin. We home birthed Persephone and Aneurin with no drugs, just a quiet, comfortable dark room with no stress and the birth pool at the right temperature. Three hours and two hours labour respectively, P was 9lb 1/2 oz and A was 10lb 9 Oz. We freebirthed A completely and only phoned the midwives after he was born. If you have someone fussing over you in order to complete a tick box checklist (which unfortunately is what midwives* mostly do ) then the stress levels build, oxytocin drops and it all goes tits up. *Not all midwives are like this but there is still a lot who stick to the old 50s NHS training of a very rigid birth routine. Some of them, particularly younger ones are really progressive and more willing to go with the flow. If you're interested in the home birth or even at alternatives to being strapped screaming to a hospital bed then find a local doula and they will be able to help a huge amount If you want any further insights, hit us up. edit: oh and home birth? What are hospitals full of? Infections that you're not used to, stay at home and minimise the infection risk. If things are going wrong then blue light in. Plan it from the start and be aware that EVERYTHING is your choice and they cannot make you do anything. Edited February 16, 2022 by forteh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuel Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 Only thing I would add to that is, we know a few people who have made very rigid plans, for example to have no drugs, only to find they needed all the drugs and having a really bad experience because it wasn’t part of the plan. have a plan but be very open for it to change. We didn’t really make a plan, but if we had it probably wouldn’t have worked as Claire had a routine checkup that turned into a scan, that meant she was induced next morning. 3 days on a cramped ward in pain, then being ignored about contractions to the point where when we finally got to the delivery room, there was no time for an epidural, so it had to be gas and air only, then had to have an epidural afterwards anyway to fix a tear, so she missed the first couple of hours with Griff. Sometimes you just gotta roll with it. People make a big deal of the birth but the reality is once it has happened you realise how unimportant it is. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forteh Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 Also do not clamp/cut the cord or let them do it until the umbilical has stopped pulsing completely. That's your baby's blood, it belongs in your baby, don't deny it a fairly essential thing to start life off with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 You're loaded with knowledge now Mike, go father something! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 34 minutes ago, forteh said: Also do not clamp/cut the cord or let them do it until the umbilical has stopped pulsing completely. That's your baby's blood, it belongs in your baby, don't deny it a fairly essential thing to start life off with! Rays cord was unbelievably short, so much so he was trapped underwater the midwife drained the pool and left Jenny in this weird crouched position where she could only just about hold him. Didn't look the most comfortable.. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 16, 2022 Report Share Posted February 16, 2022 I feel like this is barely scratching the surface, but I appreciate all the replies. Sheryl will probably have her own plans when it comes to the birth, but I'll pass all this on and discuss it Talking of births, the gory parts are something I'm not looking forward to - historically I've not been great with blood and stuff, so that'll be interesting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted February 17, 2022 Report Share Posted February 17, 2022 Lots of good chat already, so I won't try and add to that and water it down. Babies are pretty robust, and you guys will figure it out in your own way. They don't tend to remember the first few years anyway so there's plenty of time to get it sussed before they realise you don't have a clue what you're doing. We used to do this shit in caves, you'll be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Booth Posted February 17, 2022 Report Share Posted February 17, 2022 Used to? You haven't come to the Midlands for a while have you @Luke Rainbird 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadManMike Posted February 17, 2022 Report Share Posted February 17, 2022 8 hours ago, Luke Rainbird said: They don't tend to remember the first few years anyway so there's plenty of time to get it sussed before they realise you don't have a clue what you're doing. This is true and it's always made me laugh when people throw huge birthday parties for their first one - the kid has zero clue what's going on... I say this now, but no doubt I'll end up doing just that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuel Posted February 17, 2022 Report Share Posted February 17, 2022 1st birthday is for the parents. You've earned it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Rainbird Posted February 18, 2022 Report Share Posted February 18, 2022 Yeah, it's less of a "first birthday" party and more of a "we kept the squishy thing alive for a whole year" party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuel Posted March 4, 2022 Report Share Posted March 4, 2022 After a load of annoying first world problems yesterday, today I went to Cwmcarn and rode the bike, only got in 15km or so but it was great. Nearly had a mahooosive crash on one fast section, but the Dave was great fun to ride on the downhills. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuel Posted March 5, 2022 Report Share Posted March 5, 2022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manuel Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 I accidentally a Mac Pro. It appears to have come from a home studio and has a load of extra drives and cards I wasn’t expecting. It’s sooooo heavy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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